A La Emmett - Jaspers turn

i no i said no update until i hit 50 reviews, but if I'm perfectly honest, I've been too god damned excited about writing this !

Anyway JaNeenii also threatened to take away my Smut-License for a month if i didn't update soon !!! So this ones for you Neenii !

however after this one i am stumped on what to write next so if you want more you will have to vote on my poll!

One more thing, for more of Major Whitlock, check out my new story Still There For Me ( Dont forget to review !)

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I could feel the lust coming from the house from here, a good two miles away. I felt Alice squeeze my hand beside me and smile. We were returning from a week-end long hunting trip,. I looked back down at Alice and couldn't help but feel adoration and love for her. I must of been sending out waves of lust also, -whether from me or the house, I didn't know - but she smirked at me and whispered gently into my ear, "just a bit longer". I groaned inwardly and continued our walk back home.

Alice and I were due to get married next week, something Her, Esme and Rosalie had spent months planning. Of course it was only after I proposed, that she told me she had started planning a good few months ago, when I bought the ring. Sometimes it was hard living with and loving a physic.

Of course there was one thing I did not anticipate happening when I finally asked her. My wonderful pixie had decided that she wanted to keep with all the traditions Rosalie had told her about. She couldn't remember ever wanting anything like this, nor even having anything like this, so she relied heavily on Esme and Rosalie to teach her the basic rules of matrimony. And on one in particular.

For the last two months Alice had insisted that we remained celibate until our wedding night, something Esme had told her a lot of couples do. Alice, ever one to follow a trend, had gone a long with it straight away.

However when one shares a house with the biggest sexual deviants known to mankind, the ever loving, Emmett and Rosalie, and one can feel every emotion known to be involved in their activities, the frustration was unbearable.

Personally I did not see the point, every time with Alice was special, so I do not understand how it could get any better, because we had said some vows that day. But whatever Alice wants Alice gets and I was not going to deny her anything that would make her happy.

Carlisle and Esme had chosen to stay behind and go stay at a hotel while they still could. Carlisle was taking up a new position at the hospital soon, which meant long hours and many late nights. Not really a problem for a vampire but Alice had feared this would lead them to not be able to find time for other activities. So she took it upon herself to arrange the week end for them.

Unfortunately this left Rose and Emmett no reason to leave their room, as no one but Esme had the guts to drag them apart. And judging from the emotions emanating from their bedroom, they had gotten an early start.

As we approached the back door we could clearly hear a door slamming and the whole house shook. Edward stormed down the stairs cursing loudly; he grabbed his keys and flew out the door. His engine revved ad he sped out the drive.

I chuckled, but was cut off by a look from Alice. She was glowering up the stairs to an unknown source. There was a mix of anger and amusement in the air, which confused me as only a moment ago the room, was flooded with lust and desire.

I walked over to her and looked upwards; I instantly regretted it. Emmett was stood up on the top step, wearing nothing but a pair of black silk boxers. The amusement emanating from Emmett was almost unbearable, and I couldn't help but start to laugh. I was nearly in hysterics, but a look from Alice silenced me almost immediately.

Rosalie soon joined her husband on the stairs, looking perplexed, her eyes flickering from Alice's angry expression to my snickering form and then back to her husbands grinning face.

"Emmett don't you dare" Alice growled at him. She looked positively menacing at the moment, regardless of her size.

"Calm down Short arse. I'm just going to have a little chat with my brother here" His expression was spine-chillingly sincere, which caused me to worry. It must have spread as well as I saw Rosalie's perfect features turn down into a frown. I tried to calm own and pull myself together, but if Emmett was planning something bad, I definitely should be worried.

"I don't care Emmett. Not about that your not." I was completely lost on what they were talking about, but I figured if I let him do it now then it wouldn't be so bad, opposed to letting him sit on it and make it worse.

"Ali, its fine. How much can one chat hurt" I questioned. She looked at me incredulously as if to say, 'its your funeral'.

"Fine but don't come crying to me later" she stormed off up to our room, closely followed by Rosalie. Emmet descended the stairs quickly and settled himself onto the large overstuffed sofa, in front of the TV. He motioned for me to sit on the chair opposite him, as I did.

He cleared his throat and grinned at me.

Uh Oh

Not good.

He started lightly, "I love Alice you know. I would have loved to have her as my little sister before all this," he gestured to himself, as if to indicate his transformation. "Alice is probably the closest thing I will have now, so I wanna protect her." I raised my eyebrows at him. Was this where I was supposed to say, 'don't worry I'll protect her with my life', and then we would proceed to have a heart to heart about all of our feelings? I mean there is no doubt about it, I will protect Alice with my life, I just don't understand where he was going.

He continued.

"But in our case, you are also my brother and brothers are meant to share everything. So here I am left with a … erm whatjamacallit…..conumadrum ?"I resisted the urge to laugh at him and instead spoke, "Conundrum, maybe Em?"

"Yeah that's it. So I have to decide which is more important. Protecting my little sister from the urges of her overly emotional fiancé, or share all the details of the result of said urges with my overly emotional brother."

OH MY GOD. He wouldn't ! he was honestly asking me which would be better! Getting 'the talk' of him in regards to my relationship with his sister. Or the more horrifying than that, have to actually discuss the act, in detail, with him, in regards to his sister,

"Em, really I don't think that's necessary." I tried to deter him.

"Ahh but you see it is! You are my only source of male companionship around here. You think I'll be able to speak about stuffy like this to the Nancy boy?" I chuckled at the nickname he had awarded Edward. Emmett was a firm believer that Edward in fact batted for the other team, and had taken to pointing this out on every occasion possible. "and god knows I cant talk to Carlisle about it. I mean come on! No-one wants to know about their parents doing it" I had to agree with him on that one.

He continued on again, "but fear not. I have decided that, as I am amazingly brilliantly super, I can have my grizzly and eat it too!" Please God, if there is nay chance left over for me, let him drop it!

"Jazz I am going to ask you some simple questions, which can only be answered by yes or no. Got it?"

"Yes"

"Good one, okay number 1) have you slept with my sister?" Oh merciful Zeus !! I answered quickly,

"Yes" he grinned even wider !

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes"

"Did the Pixie enjoy it" The freaking nerve. He was pushing things now.

"Yes" I gritted my teeth menacingly.

"Really?" he tilted his head and furrowed his brow slightly, "cos she didn't seem so happy bout discussing it" Of course not! No one in their right mind would ever dream of discussing sex with Emmett.

"Yes"

"Well actually I don't agree with you" WHAT ?? "but never mind that, never fear Emmett is here!" he puffed out his chest proudly and his grin grew again.

"But I gotta say Jazz, just because you make her feel like she's enjoyin' it, it don't mean she really is" he looked deadly serious. I couldn't believe him ! He was actually accusing me of faking Alice's orgasm for her !! I was this far from actually killing him.

"Emmett, trust me I do not need to -"

"now now little brother" I gritted my teeth - I was nearly a century older than him for Christ's sake! - "don't go getting all protective. Now listen here, there's actually an up-side to going out with a pixie." this was going to be bad, judging by the amusement and glee radiating from him.

"Seen as she's so small, you don't really have to worry about measuring up" Emmett. Will. Die. I am going to make sure that he never ever gets any ever again. Rosalie will have to start looking elsewhere for gratification after I'm finished with him. Despite my glares and growls, he still went on, "I mean really, she ain't gonna know any different after all and lets face it, you can just make her feel like its about right!" he looked triumphant, like he had actually given me some worthy advice!

"Emmett, I swear, one more word-" I tried but he clamped a huge hand over my mouth, "Oh jasper, jasper, jasper. I know. This must be embarrassing! don't worry about it !! I have one more thing to say." his chest swelled up and he looked me dead in the eye, "I know she looks small, but do remember she is immortal and well, invincible. SO don't be afraid, to pick her up and slam her against the wall in the throes of passion . I mean how do you think me and Rose broke the cottage last week ! Sometimes it can make things better, you know unless, your worried she'll hurt you." his eyebrows went sky high as he saw me lunge at him.

I threw myself at him, throwing us both over the couch, and into the back window, which smashed on impact. Somewhere in the house I could here the girls run downstairs to see what had caused the disturbance. Me and Emmett kept on rolling around, Me punching any part of him I could reach. It wasn't until I felt a vice like grip on the back of my neck, that I stopped. I strained my still contained neck to see a furious Esme glaring at the both of us.

I swear, if she could, she would have had smoke coming out of her ears. Emmett pulled himself of the ground, looking sheepish, to my delight.

"EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN ! How dare you !" HA ! I cheered internally. He was going to get slaughtered for this ! "how dare you ruin that beautiful house I built for you ! Do you know how long it took to get that right !! Do you !" HUH? No lecture for making me the most embarrassed I've ever been ? No fair ! By now Esme had released her grip on me, and I was slowly backing up towards Alice.

I gripped her hand and me made a break for the stairs, but not before Esme shouted after us.

"JAPSER WHITLOCK HALE ! don't you dare even think about breaking any of my walls, or I will personally make sure you and Alice remain completely celibate for the rest of eternity.

DAMN !

Review !!

Over and Out

Ms. Nixxii C

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