Am I good enough for you to love me too

I let Claire into the driver's seat, biting the inside of my cheek. I'm being the licensed driver so Claire can start to drive. As long as there's a licensed driver in the car, she can drive wherever she wants in daylight hours.

"Hey, Quil," Claire says easily. Her voice holds a tangible note of excitement.

"What's got you so happy?" I ask as Claire pulls out of the parking space. I uncap my water bottle and take a swig.

"I'm going on a date tonight," Claire tells me enthusiastically. I almost choke on my water.

"What?" I demand. "With who?" Claire eyes me strangely.

"Henry de Lune," she says in satisfaction.

"That kid who had a crush on you in kindergarten? And the one who sent you that Valentine card in the sixth grade?" I verify, making sure my fists don't clench around something remotely breakable.

"God, Quil, don't get all papa-bear on me," scoffs Claire. "Leave that to Uncle Sam. He's going to flip."

"Then why are you going out with him, if Sam is going to freak out?" I ask.

"Um, duh, I like him." Claire starts down the street toward her house.

"Why?" I choke.

"I don't know. He's cute, he's funny..." I tune Claire out as she lists Henry's good qualities. I want to scream at her, Look next to you! I'M cute, I'M funny, I'M the one who's in freakin' love with you! But of course I don't.

I try to breathe evenly and calm myself. I have to remember that what I want is to have Claire be happy. If she wants this Henry, then I have to be happy for her. "Is he picking you up?" I ask evenly.

"No, we're meeting there," Claire responds. She sounds a little miffed, and I belatedly realize that I've interrupted her list of Henry's good qualities. "Will you take me?"

I'm not keen on the idea, but if she wants me to, I can't say no to her. "Sure," I agree.

"Oh, great," Claire smiles. "My best friend and my boyfriend!"

I stop short. "B-boyfriend?" I sputter.

Claire shrugs like it's no big deal. "Of course. He asked me to be his girlfriend."

What is this, seventh grade? Who uses the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" on the first date? They're sophomores, not middle-school kids. But I keep my opinions to myself, and instead force out a, "Great!"

Claire beams. "I know. Will you pick me up at 7? Henry and me are meeting at Showcase Cinemas at 7:30."

"Sure," I say with a fake smile.

-----

I gasp when I see Claire all decked out in her date attire. She's wearing a sparkly light blue tank top with one of those sweaters that are supposed to look shrunken, dark blue jeans, and polka-dot Chuck Taylors. Her black hair is down, and it falls to the middle of her back.

Claire executes a turn for me. I gape like an idiot before I recapture the ability to speak. "You look great!" I enthuse.

She grins. "Do you think Henry'll like it?" she asks me, a thread of anxiety twisting her bright tone. The mention of her date's name brings me back to earth.

"Of course," I say flatly. "Get in."

Claire hops in the passenger seat of the rusty Buick. If she's embarrassed to be seen in such a dumpy car, she doesn't show it. I concentrate on the road, trying to stop seeing green.

I pull up at Showcase. One other car is there, which I'm assuming to be Henry and his driver. Claire steps out of the car, her hair swinging. Henry is waiting for her. I can see the appeal: Henry's got that blonde-jock-boy aura about him. It seemed in high school, those were the ones who got the girls. And even sixteen years out of high school, it seems the same way.

Henry's driver steps out. There's something vaguely familiar about her. Then I recognize her as Jacqueline de Lune, ten years later. She's got to be twenty-five or twenty-six now. She looks different, but the same, somehow. Most of the resemblance between her and Henry has disappeared. She has dark hair and light skin, but his hair and skin is golden. Quickly, I assume a new identity, in case Jacqueline still recognizes me, then I step out of the car.

I see Jacqueline do a sort of double-take as she looks at me. "Quil Ateara?" she asks in disbelief.

"Hardly," I respond. "I'm Quil's brother. My name's Taylor." I smile amiably at her.

"Oh. I met Quil once, maybe ten years ago," says Jacqueline. "I'm Jacqueline de Lune, by the way. I'm Henry's older sister. You look exactly like Quil when he was sixteen,"

"Yeah, people say that," I tell her wryly. Then I turn to Claire. "Claire, can I talk to you for a sec?" She nods at me, grins at Henry, then bounces over.

"What?" she asks.

"You see that girl over there?" I gesture to Jacqueline. "That's Henry's older sister Jacqueline. We met when you and Henry were in kindergarten, and obviously that was ten years ago. Obviously she doesn't know that I don't age, so I'm not Quil right now. My name is Taylor. Okay?" Claire nods.

"Oh, right." She hugs me, and I don't really want to let go of her. "Bye, 'Taylor.'"

"Stay out of trouble," I warn her.

Claire rolls her eyes. "Really. How much trouble can I get in?" She skip back to Henry, who takes her hand. "Bye, Taylor."

"Have fun, and call me when you need to be picked up," I instruct. The "have fun" is hard to get out, but I just have to remember that it's Claire's happiness above all else. With a wave, Claire and Henry disappear into the theater.

I turn back to the car. "Nice meeting you, Taylor," Jacqueline says with a smile. "Tell Quil I said hi."

"Nice meeting you too. And I'll tell him." I get back in the car and speed away.

-----

I get a phone call from Claire around 9:15, hop back in the Buick, and go to get her. All the while I'm thinking about how not to show the jealousy that is nearly blinding me. When I pull into the parking lot, Claire is sitting on the sidewalk, staring into the night. There is no sign of Henry or Jacqueline. In the light from the neon sign, I see telltale tear stains on Claire's cheeks.

I honk, and Claire glances at the car. She stands up slowly, like it's a great effort, and moves to the car. She climbs in the passenger seat silently, all traces of her former enthusiasm gone. "What's wrong?" I ask, almost demand. Claire meets my gaze.

"Henry sucks," she says.

"Care to elaborate?" I prompt as the silence stretches on. "What did he do to you?"

"He didn't really care about me. He was using me. He's not looking for love, he's looking for sex. And I fell for it. God, Quil, I'm such an idiot." Her voice is a flat monotone. My knuckles tighten on the wheel.

"You're not an idiot," I counter. "He's the idiot. If he only wants a girlfriend to have sex with, he's seriously missing out on some of the finer aspects of life. And if he didn't love Claire Young for Claire Young, he's got a problem, and he's not worth your time."

Claire looks up at me through glassy eyes. "You think so?"

"I know so," I declare. I also know that I won't ever push you too far, and that I love Claire Young for Claire Young.

"Thanks," Claire murmurs.

y'all are lucky i'm sick, because i had time to make this really long. God, i feel like crap. ;) thanks to Claire and Mariah for that. and Musings of a Shaken Mind. so, review! did this knock your socks off or what? i have to go take my meds now... lovelovelove, m