Chapter 30

About a month later, Brian had his sling off and was nearly healed. He had been home with Joey and Brilor that evening when Lorelei had to work a second shift because someone had called off.

"Dad, hold the bottle up," Joey instructed him as he fed Brilor. "He'll get gas and have a tummy ache otherwise."

"You want to do this?" Brian gave her a look. "You've been on my case all night about this kid. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was yours instead of just your baby brother."

"Well, at least you got diaper changing down even though for some reason Bri Bri likes to pee on you."

"Do not ever put me through that again," he warned her.

"Hate to be the bearer of bad news, Dad, but I have a feeling Ma just might, at least until Bri Bri is potty trained."

"Oh God. Kids fucking hate me."

"No they don't," Joey replied. "You just got to loosen up around them. Seriously, Dad, sometimes you act like you've never seen a baby in your life."

"I should spend more time at home, shouldn't I? Guess I'm used to a kid that's already grown."

"Time to burp him," Joey announced; checking the bottle to make sure he hadn't given Brilor more than Lorelei had specified.

"Okay," he said, pulling the baby up on his shoulder just as the doorbell rang. "Think you can get that while I have the bambino here?"

"Sure. Oh, and put a cloth on your shoulder, otherwise, Bri Bri might spit up on your shirt and sour baby milk doesn't smell all that great."

"Thanks for the warning, now go get the door before they pound it in."

"Shit, I should have brought a camera…..wait, I have my camera phone," Paul said as he stepped in, giving a goofy grin as he snapped Brian burping the baby.

"You know I can ice pick you in the aorta for that, right?" Brian replied, shooting a dirty look.

"Oh come on, Dad, you're so cute with him," Joey spoke up.

"You're not helping here, young lady," Brian shook his head, patting Brilor. "Come on, little guy. Give your old man a burp."

"This is priceless," Paul cackled.

"Paul, put away that fucking phone before I shove it up your ass," Brian warned, contining to pat Brilor's back, alternating rubbing in between pats. Soon he let out a loud belch.

"Dad, not funny," Joey said, raising an eyebrow.

"What's not funny? Your brother burped. I don't see the problem."

"Jesus, that sounded like one of yours, Brian," Paul laughed. "Guess the little man got his talent for that off of you, huh?"

He then turned to Joey. "Keep an eye on your dad there; the kid's still young enough not to protest if his old man farts and blames it on him."

"Paul!" Brian cried, wiping spittle off of Brilor's face.

"Oh, he already blames the cat when he farts," Joey replied, ignoring her father. "Wouldn't shock me in the least if he tried that with Bri Bri too."

"Josephine." Brian glared at her.

"What? You do; even Ma says so."

Brian shook his head, giving Brilor the rest of his bottle. "We associate with some weird people, kid," he told the baby. "Jesus, you two make the people down at the precinct look sane."

"Anyway, buddy, how's the shoulder lately?" Paul asked with genuine concern.

"Pretty good, coming along faster than I thought," Brian grinned. "I guess the physical therapy idea wasn't so bad after all, and to think I only went initially to shut you and Lor up."

"Yeah, and you're lucky Ma hasn't found out about you being sweet on the therapist either."

This sparked Paul's interest. "Am I hearing things right? Straight up husband and dad flirting with his PT?"

"For fuck's sake, you two, it's not a crime to be friendly or to check out the girl. She's got a nice ass; I can't help but look sometimes, but that's all I'm doing. I'm married, not dead. Besides, no one can hold up to Lorelei, you know that. And if you must know, Alex just got married."

"Still, I can blame her for being friendly with you." Joey playfully pinched his cheeks. "You are kind of cute."

"Very funny, Joey," Brian said.

He pulled the empty bottle from Brilor's mouth and placed the baby on his shoulder again, patting Brilor's back. "Here we go again, little buddy." Soon Brilor let a second burp rip through the room.

"Good one," Joey praised. "I think you're getting the hang of it, Dad."

"I guess I am." He cradled Brilor in the crook of his arm, smiling down at him. "Oh wow."

"What?" Joey asked.

"This kid just smiled at me!" Brian was elated.

"Man, he probably just farted and showing signs he's relieved," Paul laughed. "Either that or he just figured out he has one funny looking old man."

"You're just a barrel of laughs, Paul," Brian glared at him. "I swear, this kid smiled."

"He probably did," Joey nodded eagerly. "That's so cool, Dad. You got to see Bri Bri smile."

"Yeah, imagine that. I think this little guy likes me after all."

"I could have told you that," Joey grinned.

Brilor smiled up at him again. "You see? He really likes you, Dad. Stop being so paranoid," Joey reassured him.

A moment later, they all heard a strange sound and made faces at the smell that filled the room.

"Oh God," Brian groaned. "His pants just vibrated."

Paul snickered. "Sounds to me like he understands Dad's on diaper duty."

"Sure, Paul, yuk it up at my expense. Just for that, you can change him."

"Let me see him," Joey sighed, gently taking her brother and checking his pants. "You both can relax. Bri Bri just had a good fart."

"Thank you, Jesus," Brian sighed at the ceiling.

Paul fanned the air, making a face. "Guess he takes after his old man in that department too."

"Like you never ripped your share," Brian countered. "And while you're sitting here being a smart ass, eating my food and drinking my soda, we can give Joey here a break by giving the little man a bath."

"Uh…." Paul began.

"Practice makes perfect," Joey grinned at him. "Consider it on the job training for your own future."

"More the reason for me to remain a confirmed bachelor," Paul groaned as he followed Brian to the bathroom.