Chapter 31

"Wakey, wakey, time to play with the snakey," Brian said cheerfully one morning, nudging Lorelei, who grunted and slapped his hand away.

"Brian, I haven't even been completely cleared by the doctor yet," she groaned "Would you mind keeping your Roman hands and Russian fingers to yourself?"

"Do you have an idea how long it's been since I got any?"

"So go jerk off," she yawned.

"That only works for so long. Isn't there something else we can do? I'm horny."

"Not that I can think of. I was up with your son most of the night anyway, and the last thing we need is to make another child before Brilor's a year old.."

"Jesus, talk about a mood killer, and to think I'm on vacation for two weeks."

"If it's any help, I have a doctor's appointment for a follow up on Friday."

"It's fine. I'll figure something out. You get some rest." Brian gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder.

"Where are you going?" she asked when he got out of bed.

"I need a shower," he replied as he headed into the bathroom. "Maybe get it in before the little guy wakes up. Too bad Joey's at school or she could take him somewhere. It's a nice day."

Lorelei didn't hear the last sentence; she had already drifted off again and didn't wake up until she heard the baby over the monitor. Reality once again had set in.

Later:

"What's your problem?" Paul asked, sipping coffee. "You've either been quiet or like a bear with a sore ass all morning."

"That isn't exactly the part of my anatomy that's 'sore', man," Brian sighed.

"You mean, uh…well…" Paul stumbled and then added, "She's holding out on the loving?"

"Lor hasn't exactly gotten the green light to have sex yet," Brian replied. "That's all. She hasn't cut me off."

"Oh God, talk about agony," Paul replied shaking his head.

"Yeah, I'm not going to hell; I'm already there. We might have done it twice the entire time she was pregnant, and then of course none at all ever since she had Brilor."

"So, she won't do anything sexual at all?"

"Why am I even discussing this with you? The only action I've seen is Mary Hand and Her Five Ugly Daughters while sneaking in some late night porn on the side."

"You could hire a hooker," Paul offered with a grin.

"Are you forgetting something here? One, I'm a cop. Two, I head up Major Case with the captain. Three, I adopted a kid that was a hooker and busted my chops turning her around and getting her away from that life. The last thing I'd do is hire some random whore just to get my rocks off. No thanks, I'll stick to my hand until Lorelei gets the 'go' signal."

"Then you'll fuck like rabbits for another six months until she gets knocked up again."

"Perhaps, considering it's a little more difficult with a baby and teenager in the house. As for getting knocked up, she got prescribed something for that. We don't need to welcome a younger sibling for Brilor just yet. His older sibling is a handful as it is."

"You know," Paul began, "Valentine's Day is coming up, and since you're on vacation, you can have the kiddos off somewhere while having a hot and heavy evening with your wife. Didn't you say Lorelei had a doctor appointment on Friday?"

"Yeah," Brian nodded. "If all as well, then you can take my spawn for a few hours."

"Ohhhhh no, man. Forget it. I have a hot ass date with Cameron, and I'm not messing it up changing the shitty diapers of one kid while his teenage sister blasts her weird music and takes over the phone."

"Some friend you are. I'm trying to get laid and you're worried about a date with your supermodel to help Joey watch your own godson. Fine, I'll call Yvette; she's probably spending it with her dog anyway and she's crazy about Brilor."

He then flipped open his phone, dialing Yvette's cell number and speaking to her for several minutes. Paul could guess from the now-animated conversation, Yvette had happily agreed to pitch in to help Joey with the baby while Brian and Lorelei had a rare evening alone.

"All set," he grinned as he snapped the phone shut. "Vette all but jumped at the idea. Now I just have a few more days to see how it turns out with Lor."

Meanwhile:

"Just thought I'd give you a heads up," Yvette said during a call while Lorelei was changing Brilor. "I just talked to your husband about having the kids stay here Saturday night. If I didn't know him any better, I'd think he had something planned for Valentine's Day."

Lorelei gave a slight groan. "Talk about putting the cart ahead of the horse. I don't see the doctor until Friday and it isn't a guarantee he will clear me for….well, you know."

"Sex," Yvette giggled.

"Nice to see you're still blunt as always," Lorelei teased.

"Girl, you were pregnant for nine months and then had that sweet baby boy, of course the mister is going to be climbing the walls. He needs some action."

"I know, he's been a pest ever since he went on vacation," Lorelei agreed.

"You know, you don't have to wait for a doctor appointment. There's more than one way to skin a cat."

"What on earth are you indicating, Yvette?"

"You didn't hear about when Detective Gregson's wife had twins? He was kind of like the Lieutenant; a real pain simply because he was horny. Anyway, the wifey found other ways to make him happy until she got the all clear from her doctor . Long story short, he was in a much better mood after that."

"Do I really want to know this?" Lorelei asked, dreading the answer.

"I think you should," Yvette laughed before going into details.

"Oh my God. Are you kidding me?!" Lorelei exclaimed, incredulous.

"Come on, Lor, you never done that to him?"

"Once," Lorelei answered. "On our wedding night before we did the deed and I conceived Brilor."

"Should try it again," Yvette encouraged. "You and we will have a happier Lieutenant, trust me."

Lorelei hung up, shaking her head before picking up her son. "And I thought your father had strange friends," she told him.

Brilor smiled widely at his mother; he wasn't sure what she was saying, but figured he would laugh in case it was funny.