Chapter Five

Assistant Ed

Roy was in the kitchen, cooking eggs and sausages. He was already dressed in his work uniform.

Edward, however, was rushing to get ready. He had woken up about an hour after the colonel and taken a shower. Now he was trying to decide what he should wear to work. Which was more casual, a T-shirt, or a tank top? Which was better to wear to work, blue jeans or black leather? Sighing in frustration, Edward pulled on a black tank top and black denim jeans, figuring he might as well play safe and go with the middle ground. He just wouldn't take off his jacket at Roy's office.

Finally dressed, he walked out into the kitchen and sat at the bar, watching Roy cook. He could offer to help, but he tended to blow things up in the kitchen. Cooking was a skill he never really had the chance to develop, leaving home like he did.

Roy set their plates and juices on the bar counter, and they ate together in a comfortable silence, each thinking their own thoughts.

When they finished, they walked out in the chilly December air to Roy's car and Roy drove them to headquarters. Ed stuck close behind Roy as they walked through the halls, Roy nodding at greetings from coworkers and leading Ed to his office. Before they got through the door, however, a dangerous looking blond stepped in front of them.

"Colonel Mustang," Hawkeye growled lightly, fingering the gun at her hip. "You skipped out on your paperwork last Friday."

"I am terribly sorry, Riza; I'll get to work on that right now." Roy attempted to side step the dangerous blonde to get into his office, but she shifted to block his way again.

"Who's this?" She looked down at Edward suspiciously.

"Mr. Edward Elric." Roy cleared his throat. "He's my new assistant."

"I'm in charge of making sure Roy does his paperwork." Ed smirked at Roy and looked up at Riza. "And I'll make sure he does it, ma'am."

Riza smiled at Edward, who it seemed was going to take a lot of stress out of her job. "The name's Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, but please, call me Riza."

Edward grinned at her as she moved out of the way for Roy and him to go into the office.

Roy shut the door behind him and slowly trudged over to his desk, which was, as usual, piled high with unfinished paperwork. He sighed wearily and sat down. "Ed, you can read any of the books on my shelves while I do this paperwork, alright?"

Ed nodded and walked over to the bookshelves. He was reading from a thick tome when Roy began working.

xxxxx

When Ed looked up from the book, it was dark outside the window and silent outside the door. He checked the clock. 11:43. He looked over at Roy, who had fallen asleep on top of his unfinished papers. Ed sighed and walked over to wake him up.

He shook Roy's shoulder gently. Roy mumbled something lightly and turned away. Ed leaned over to his ear. "Roy? Roy, wake up, we need to go home."

No response.

"Roy?" Ed's stomach rumbled. "Roy, come on, I'm hungry!"

Roy mumbled something else and turned his face back towards Edward, still sleeping. Ed had had enough of this.

"ROY! GET UP NOW!!" Roy jerked up into a standing position and sharply saluted Ed.

"Yes sir, drill sergeant!"

Drill sergeant? Ed put his left fist to his mouth to keep from laughing when he realized that Roy was still half asleep.

"Alright, Roy, now that you're up, lets go home. I'm hungry!" Roy just stood there silently. Though he was standing, Roy's eyes were vacant, and they held no comprehension. "Uhm, Roy?" Maybe he was using the wrong words here. If Roy got up when he ordered him to, then maybe… "Forward march?" Roy jolted forward suddenly, walking towards Ed. Okay, he thought, military commands get a response. I'll just order him to walk to the bathroom and splash his face with cold water, and then we can leave.

But before Edward had the chance to remember what would command him to turn right, Roy's boot snagged on a fold in the carpet. Roy tripped and fell forward, landing on top of Edward, knocking the breath out of him the second time in so many days.

"Roy…" Edward moaned. "You're crushing me! Please, wake up…" Roy lifted his head slowly and looked at Ed, pinned beneath him.

"Edward?" His eyes were still foggy from sleep and he sounded more than a little confused.

"Are you actually awake now?" Edward growled, slightly agitated.

"I don't think so…in fact, I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming." There's no way that he's that pretty. There's no way he really smells that good. There's no way…

"Yeah, well, you're not." Edward scowled, breaking into Roy's thoughts. "Would you get off of me? It's a little hard to breathe."

Roy hurriedly climbed off of him and they stood up together. There was an awkward silence.

Roy cleared his throat. "So, uh, you ready to get home?"

"Yeah." Ed smiled as they walked out the door together, paperwork forgotten. "I'm starving!"