Subzero
By: PurificationArrow
"Fear imprisons; faith liberates; fear paralyzes; faith empowers; fear disheartens; faith encourages; fear sickens; faith heals; fear makes useless; faith makes serviceable."
-Harry Emerson Fosdick
-
Fuji knew, from the moment he opened his eyes that morning, from the moment the sparkling rays of the sun lit up his face, that it was going to be a very bad day.
It was one of the perfect looking days where the sun would be shimmering in the sky, and clouds were sprinkled across the blue sky. Today would be one of those kinds of days. Fuji hated it when it was.
Since his childhood, Fuji had always loved the skies when they were spotless, without a blemish to marr the vast blueness. His mother had always told him that it was a sign that it was going to be a good day, but as he stared at the clouds becoming more visible with the slowly approaching sun, Fuji knew it forboded something ill.
The house felt strangely empty as Fuji turned on his heel.
A few days had passed since Tezuka had slept over, and after he left the following morning, it seemed to Fuji that his home was more empty than it had been before. Fuji almost considered taking Yumiko up on her offer to buy him a pet of some kind, but eventually decided on declining once more after realizing that he simply had no time for a pet. That, in addition to the fact that when he was little, Fuji had managed to kill his goldfish within the hour of buying it.
Funny though, that you seem to have enough time for Tezuka, but not a pet.
A smirking voice commented in the frame of Fuji's mind. Fuji shook his head fiercely until it throbbed as he rummaged through his briefcase to confirm his materials were in place. He scoffed. Ridiculous. He did not have more time for Tezuka than anything else, even if Fuji's thoughts were occupied of the promise Tezuka made to call him later on.
A ringtone broke Fuji's attention a second later as his cell phone began to vibrate on the table top. He rushed over and lifted it to his ear before it could topple to the ground. Fuji was breathless when he answered, "Hello? Tezuka?"
It was only after there was an awkward silence that Fuji knew it wasn't Tezuka. "...it's Tadase-san, Fuji-sama."
Flush invaded Fuji's face. He made his back stiff and tried to regain composure. How foolish was he? It was barely seven in the morning, and Tezuka certainly was polite enough not to call people so early in the morning...or at least he hoped so.
"...Fuji-sama?"
"Yes, Tadase?"
"...um, well, we have a guest coming in today, sir."
Fuji calmed his racing heart and sat down in a chair with a mug of coffee in his hand. Normally he didn't enjoy coffee, but this morning he felt incented to drink some. Fuji sat down and brought the steaming cup to his lips as he asked, "Who is it?"
"Fuji-sama."
A shocked breath left Fuji's lips, and the mug froze just inches away from his lips. A droplet of brown liquid splashed from the cup and ran down the side before finally spreading around the base of the cup as Fuji slowly set it down. His hand shook terribly, and it felt as though he were experienced an asthma attack. He almost wished he were.
"Fuji-sama... Fuji-sama, are you there? Fuji-sama?"
Fuji's mouth was dry, and he licked his lips to alleviate the dryness problem. He scrambled up from the couch and dashed to the closet where he began to throw on his coat. It wasn't a very thick coat, but Fuji was past caring about that.
"Call Tezuka, tell him not to come to work today."
"What?"
"Make up an excuse, I don't care." Fuji replied quickly. Had he been in a calmer state, Fuji probably would have been embarassed at his rudeness. But not today. Not now. Because now...
"Understood?"
"Y-yes, sir."
Now Tezuka had to be protected.
Fuji snapped his phone shut and set it on the counter. He snatched up his briefcase with one hand and dumped the undrinken mug of coffee into the sink with the other. His eyes glinted like cold flint. "He hurt someone before." Fuji hissed, passing by a picture of himself and Yuuta.
I won't let someone else dear to me be dragged into this too.
The door shook on its hinges as Fuji slammed it shut behind him. The now vacant apartment was silent, save for the low buzzing sound coming from the counnter. The screen on Fuji's cell phone lit up and spelled the words, 'Tezuka Kunimitsu' on it.
"'Hello, Fuji? This is Tezuka. I can't stay at work today because of some other problems at home. I need to stop by the office to pick up materials, though, so I'll open the building myself...call me back when you this message.'"
---
Tezuka gave a sigh and set down his cell phone. He had been thinking of a plausible excuse to call Fuji, and settled on telling him he wouldn't be in work today because of 'some problems at home', when in reality it was just his cousin coming for a visit.
He was deliberating if he was relieved or disappointed that Fuji hadn't picked up. As he fished the keys to the company building from his pocket, Tezuka decided he was glad, for it would have been a pathetically short and awkward conversation speaking with Fuji in person.
Tezuka lifted his hand to slide the keys into the lock, but as he came closer, he saw someone else approaching the building.
It was a fairly tall man with striking blue eyes that reminded him of someone else's. The other's spine was set stiffly, and his mouth was locked in a firm grimace, as though he had eaten something particularly bitter.
As the other man neared the building, he finally noticed Tezuka standing there, watching him.
Then, the man smiled and shut his eyes.
The spitting image of Fuji shot forth from this man's features.
"Oh, hello, who are you?" the man asked.
Tezuka numbly replied, "Tezuka Kunimitsu."
The man smiled, his lips pursing into a thin line. Now, Tezuka was not a man who scared easily, not at all, but something about this man's strange, blue-eyed smile sent a shiver crackling up and down Tezuka's spine.
"Ah," the man mused, "Tezuka Kunimitsu."
Tezuka remained mute, unsure of how to respond. He just stood there awkwardly, the building key still in his hand. Then the man's sudden exclamation almost made Tezuka jump, "Ah! But where are my manners?"
Tezuka blinked, slowly lowering the hand holding the key. You tell me... He replied in his mind.
"Come in, it is quite cold outside." The man offered, even though he looked the least perturbed about the frigid tempatures than anyone else outside.
"...Ah." Tezuka replied.
The blue eyed man withdrew a key from the depths of his pocket and fed it into the hole gently, and turned. Tezuka was surprised. This person had a key to SAA? He jumped at the man's quiet chuckle. "You are probably wondering as to why I have a key to the company building, am I correct?"
Once again, Tezuka was rendered mute.
The man looked at him through thin eyes, the blue reflecting the light of the fallen snow. "Saa...I wonder about that. I suppose it might be because I am the former head of SAA."
This time, Tezuka was taken by surprise. So this person was...
"So...you're Fuji's--"
"Father!"
Tezuka and Fuji the elder turned at the sound of a startled voice and rapid footsteps.
Fuji approached, his nose and cheeks flushed, and it looked to Tezuka like he had run all the way from his apartment to the building. Fuji's head alternated between Tezuka, to Fuji the elder, and back. He looked panicked, and...terrified. So much that Tezuka, before he realized where his feet were carrying him, had taken multiple steps forward and was leaning towards Fuji.
"Fuji, what's wrong?"
Fuji made a bizarre strangled noise in his throat before backing away several steps. His eyes were fuzzy and unfocused, and he continued backing up...all the way to the side of the road. A car honked loudly as it whizzed by, the driver most definitely grumbling something about 'damn pedestrians'.
Tezuka lunged forward and dragged Fuji away from the side of the road as a car zipped by that probably would have taken off Fuji's head. He placed himself between Fuji and the road, so as to prevent a repeat and give Tezuka another heart attack.
"Fuji?"
Then, the fog that shrouded Fuji's cerulean eyes seemed to clear, and he blinked, as if finally aware of his surroundings. His face was a mess of confusion, and was also beginning to lose its color.
"...Tezuka?" Fuji murmured in a soft voice.
Tezuka frowned as he saw the color start to flee from Fuji's lips. His panting was getting quicker and shorter, and despite the intense cold, he was sweating. Just to be safe, Tezuka supported Fuji under his elbows. "Fuji, are you all right?" he asked, his worry mounting.
Fuji began to pant more, but he still smiled, albeit weakly, "Yes," he replied, "I'm...fine."
And that was when the boy's eyes rolled into his head, and his asthma attack began. Tezuka strained his arms to keep Fuji upright when the latter's legs gave way.
"Fuji!"
Carefully, he settled down, with the boy's back resting against Tezuka's knee for support. Hurriedly, he looked to Fuji the elder to have him call for help. The blue eyed man's back was turned to Tezuka, but he was already issuing orders to 911.
Tezuka put an arm around Fuji's shoulders and tried his utmost to wipe the cold sweat that had broken out from Fuji's forehead.
"Tezuka-san, the ambulance is on its way." Fuji the elder called from where he stood. By this time, a crowd had already begun to gather around the front of SAA to view the spectacle. However, one harsh, biting glare from Tezuka and Fuji's father sent any and all bystanders scurrying away.
Tezuka barely felt Fuji's light weight against him as he frantically racked his mind for some way to help. He couldn't think of any, for the last time he had seen an asthma attack this bad was when his cousin, Senri Chitose had collapsed after participating in a race. And that had been when Tezuka was three.
His hands fluttered about uselessly around Fuji, whose face was so incredibly pale--even paler than its normal shade. Fuji's breathing was still quick and uneven, and his mouth trembled. It was the first time, even counting at his mother's grave, that he had seen Fuji so vulnerable and...small.
Despite the boy's petite stature, he always managed to hold himself as though he were taller than even Tezuka. But now he was as helpless as an infant. It made some sort of maternal--or paternal--instinct come out from deep within the recesses of Tezuka's conscience...deep, deep down. And had Fuji not been in such a desperate state, Tezuka would have instantly reprimanded himself for thinking something so strange.
"The ambulance is here, Tezuka-san. Let them take Syusuke on the stretcher."
Fuji the elder's voice broke through the mental wall Tezuka had built up, and when Tezuka moved back, some people in white suits appeared and eased Fuji onto a stretcher.
Tezuka blinked and looked up. When had they come? How long had it been since Fuji's father had called them? While Tezuka was holding the helpless Fuji, he had lost any and all semblance of time. But now that the ambulance was here, it was beginning to flood back to Tezuka.
Two men in white suits trotted up to Tezuka and Fuji the elder. "Please come with us," they said, "You are related to him, correct?"
Tezuka looked to Fuji's father who nodded stiffly. "And him," Fuji's father jerked a finger in Tezuka's direction, quite unceremoniously. "He's coming too."
The medics looked at each other, and shrugged. "Very well." The first medic agreed. "Please get into the front of the van."
"Ah." Tezuka nodded and proceeded for the front of the van. Then he realized that Fuji the elder was still standing there, practically a statue. But as soon as Tezuka looked at Fuji the elder, the older man quickly averted his head.
Nevertheless, Tezuka frowned. It was strange. he could have sworn that...Fuji's father had looked even more terrified than Tezuka, himself. And that was saying quite a bit.
---
"Syusuke!"
"Aniki!"
Tezuka looked up at the arrival of new two voices belonging to Yumiko and Yuuta. He was sitting on a chair, a bit disgruntled at not being allowed inside Fuji's room.
When the siblings gave Tezuka a questioning look, with the calmest face he knew how, he said, "Family only."
The two Fuji siblings nodded to each other. "So that means our father is here already." Yumiko said quietly. Her pretty features were marred with concern. Yuuta just stared at his feet silently.
Tezuka had almost forgotten. The Fuji siblings did not have a good relationship with their father after their mother had died, and one sibling in particular, Fuji, still retained a degree of resentment. A very high degree.
Yumiko smiled at Tezuka and approached the door. "I'll see if he's awake now."
Tezuka noted that she didn't say, 'wait here,' and was grateful for that. While his sister went in, Yuuta lingered behind, standing to one side of the door. He kept rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, seemingly deliberating on going inside as well.
"Hey, Tezuka-san." Yuuta broke the silence. Tezuka just gave him a questioning look. "Aniki...when his asthma attack began, did he say anything?"
Tezuka's eyebrows furrowed. Was he supposed to have said something? "No," Tezuka replied, his tone careful, "I asked him if he was all right, and he said yes."
Yuuta looked surprised at this, and Tezuka became instantly suspicious. He opened his mouth, and then shut it again. It opened once more, but then he decided against speaking. There was something in the Fuji history that was the catalyst behind all of this, and it was Tezuka's worry for Fuji that made him want to know. But he refrained. It was exactly because it was in Fuji's past that Tezuka wanted to know, and yet, knew he shouldn't, for this was the Fuji family's business and no one else's.
Then, Tezuka heard a sigh. He looked up at Yuuta who was rubbing the back of his neck. "Tezuka-san, I'd like to tell you just what happened to us, I would."
Tezuka suddenly felt a little disturbed. Was everyone in the Fuji family able to read his mind so easily?
"But it isn't my business to go around telling people. This is between you and Aniki only." Yuuta said. The serious look in his eyes gave the boy an additional five years to his appearance.
And suddenly, the door opened to Fuji's room. Tezuka stood up quickly, and Yumiko stuck her head out and smiled. "Yuuta, go on ahead in. Otou-san is talking to the doctors, so he won't bother you. I'll be sending Tezuka-san in momentarily."
Yuuta nodded at his sister and brushed past her into the room, but not without sending one last look in Tezuka's direction. As soon as the youngest Fuji sibling was safely in, Yumiko stepped out and shut the door. And for some reason, her shutting the door felt like he had been locked into a box.
"Yuuta probably told you a little of what happened." Yumiko said quietly.
"Ah." A little less of what happened that Tezuka would like, but he said nothing.
Yumiko ran a hand through her thick hair. "Probably not enough to make you satisfied though, am I correct?"
Once again, Tezuka was disturbed as he agreed, "Ah."
"Then I'll tell you as much as I can, Tezuka-san. Yuuta and I both believe that this is something Syusuke needs to overcome on his own. And it won't mean anything if we're the ones who tell him." Yumiko murmured.
"Tell Fuji what?" Tezuka finally asked.
The woman was silent. And when she finally replied, she winked.
"It's a secret," she said. Then her face lost its mischevious look. "All I'll tell you is that Syusuke has forgotten something. Something very important to us, our father, and most importantly, himself. And when he remembers, Tezuka-san,"
"..."
"Be there for him."
Yumiko's cryptic words gave a sudden chill to Tezuka's bones. There was more movement inside of Fuji's room, and Tezuka assumed that they were nearly done there.
"Tezuka-san, you have heard of the story of the catcher in the rye, correct?" Yumiko suddenly said.
Slowly, Tezuka nodded. It was a story he had read as a boy. The catcher in the rye was someone who metaphorically, scooped children back up when they fell off 'the cliff of life' to give them another chance. The catcher in the rye who someone who did nothing when the children fell onto the ground, and only waited until they helped themselves back up.
The entire story had sounded utterly ridiculous to Tezuka when he was younger, but he was now beginning to see Yumiko's point.
Fuji, for all his strength, still seemed like a child who was wandering too close to the edge of the cliff. And when he remembered that important thing, he would fall from the cliff. It would then be Tezuka's job, as Fuji's personal catcher in the rye, to scoop him back up to safety.
Yumiko smiled at him, and Tezuka could only assume that--once again--she read his mind, and knew he understood what it was he had to do.
"Go on in now, Tezuka-san. Syusuke wasn't awake yet, and I'm sure you're the first person he would like to see when he does wake up." Yumiko said, and opened the door. Out came four people. Two doctors, Yuuta, and Fuji the elder.
Yumiko bowed to her father. "I've called a taxi over, otou-san. Tezuka-san will stay with Syusuke."
Tezuka steeled himself when Fuji the elder turned to look at Tezuka. It was uncanny how piercing both Fuji and his father's eyes were, and they both made Tezuka feel naked.
"Fine. Take care of Syusuke then, Tezuka-san." Fuji's father said to him, although it sounded more like a warning than anything else.
But Tezuka nodded stiffly and drew himself up to his full height. "Ah."
Fuji's father seemed to give a sniff of satisfaction before walking off with Yuuta and Yumiko.
Tezuka waited until the three Fuji's were out of sight before entering Fuji's room and shutting the door gently behind him.
There Fuji lay, on the crisp, white hospital sheets. His breathing was soft and normal, and breathing tubes trailed their way into his nasal cavaties. An IV dripped steadily into one of Fuji's hands which lay motionless on the sheets.
Tezuka settled himself down into a chair at Fuji's side and took up one of Fuji's hands without thinking.
"Fuji, get better." He said, even though he knew Fuji was asleep.
Tezuka almost let go when the corners of Fuji's mouth curled upwards, and he said, "Yes, sir."
One of Fuji's eyes cracked open and took in Tezuka's startled expression before beginning to laugh gingerly. Fuji then opened both eyes and suddenly looked more awake and less pale than he had fifteen minutes before.
Tezuka's face burned at being caught. "You were awake?"
Fuji nodded. Tezuka wondered if Fuji was aware their hands were still clasped together or not. "Yes. I didn't want to deal with everyone at once, so I faked it." Fuji said, looking rather pleased with himself for someone who just had an asthma attack.
Tezuka sighed in exasperation, "Fuji--"
"Did he say anything to you?" Fuji asked suddenly, so much that Tezuka was taken aback.
"What?--"
"My father. Did he say anything strange to you?" Fuji's eyes were smouldering.
Slowly, Tezuka shook his head. "No."
Fuji sighed, and seemed to sink further into his sheets. "Thank goodness."
Tezuka just sat there awkwardly, still holding Fuji's hand in his. He hoped Fuji hadn't noticed, because... he didn't want to let go.
They let a silence of sorts settle over them. Not the awkward kind that would make people uncomfortable, but merely the quiet kind. The silence of understanding and comfort. But then, Fuji broke it, by turning his head a little towards Tezuka. The boy's face seemed oddly flushed.
"...um, thank you, Tezuka."
Tezuka was very confused. "For what?"
Fuji looked away, his face reddening. The hand that wasn't in Tezuka reached up and tore the clear tubes from his nose. Tezuka almost stood up to stop him, but Fuji interjected quickly. "I'm fine. I don't need them."
Tezuka sat back down in his seat. "Why are you thanking me?"
"...For just...being here."
And Tezuka, for reasons he did not know, felt a sudden, strange impulse come over him. Certainly, he knew he was...in love with Fuji. It was a morbidly embarassing thought, even as Tezuka reached his free hand forward. So before Tezuka's self-preservation could stop him, he held the side of Fuji's face towards him, and pressed their lips together.
He saw Fuji's eyes flash in surprise, and a split second before their mouths touched, Fuji gasped.
Instinct seemed to take over Tezuka's actions, and he slipped his tongue in.
The gray, sad clouds outside the window seemed to part, and bathed Tezuka and Fuji in a warm radiance of light. Had Tezuka not been completely absorbed with kissing Fuji, the whole thing would have seemed very cliche to him.
Finally, when their breaths ran out, and Tezuka realized just what it was he had done, they broke contact.
Fuji's face was flushed, and he seemed to be trying to gather up what had happened.
Tezuka's face grew red, and embarassment made him look at his feet. He was mortified. What had he done?
"...Tezuka..." Fuji mumbled quietly. Fuji was staring at their linked hands, and it took a moment for Tezuka to process it. He unlaced his fingers and drew his hand away...or at least he would have, if Fuji had not grabbed his hand and held on for dear life.
Tezuka blinked and found his voice, "Fuji?"
Fuji's grip tightened on his hand, and with the boy's other hand, bound by the IV needle, he reached up towards Tezuka's face.
Tezuka leaned forward and held Fuji's outstretched hand.
"...thank you, Tezuka."
Tezuka looked at Fuji's smiling face, with his cheeks flushed, and his lips swollen. Tezuka's facial muscles twitched before arranging themselves into something with the semblance of a smile. And had it been anyone besides Fuji, it would have looked as though Tezuka's face were having a seizure.
Tezuka leaned forward, and Fuji leaned up, and their lips met halfway in the middle.
---
(A/N:)
That was definitely the hardest chapter to write. I have no idea why, but it was. This chapter went through at least five different revisions before I was satisfied with this. Also, I was getting bored of no real Fuji and Tezuka action, so I decided why not?
Thank you for your reviews, and please keep supporting this story, and Perfect Pair. =3
Sincerely,
-PurificationArrow
P.S. I will also be starting a new story, titled something along the lines of Monochrome that is also a Perfect Pair fanfiction. Again, it is AU, and may or may not contain some fantasy and magic-using and all that. Please look forward to it, for it will be released on Fuji's nonexistent birthday this year.