Disclaimer: I do not own and Rowling is a queen for letting us all borrow.

"Morning," Lily said softly, her mouth thick. She found herself squinting in the light and her head hurt in a way she'd never really felt before. She groaned and moved slowly to a sitting position. "I am such an idiot."

Whatever Lily may have expected from Severus, she was surprised when he laughed, or rather chuckled. She looked down at him with concern.

"Did you nip at the whiskey bottle this morning, Severus?" He sat up and quickly, too quickly for Lily to stop him, slid his hand across her cheek and brought her lips to hers. It was unexpected to say the least, but she kissed back cautiously - unsure what he was expecting. She knew her breath must be awful, not to mention she had been overtly forward the evening before, but Severus kissed her deeper and deeper, pulling her closer to him, and suddenly she was breathless.

She pushed him away as gently as she could and met his eyes. "I know I have wretched morning breath. Sorry."

Try as she might, she could not look away from him. His expression oozed of contentment - lips turned up, eyes...soft and slightly crinkled, hands relaxed on her leg and waist.

Lily was shocked further when he kissed her chastely, squeezed her leg once and began to stand.

"I am glad you are feeling better, Lily." He offered his hand to her.

She took it and he pulled her to her feet - too fast - her head swam and she fell against him, her hands splayed across his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and Lily knew she was in trouble. She tilted her head up to look at him.

"Sorry," he said, his lips still slightly turned up in what would've been a sneer if not for the sparkle in his dark eyes.

"You seem happy." It was a statement, but she really wanted to ask him why he was so happy. She laid her head against his chest and shut her eyes. It made the pounding in her head fade, but the thought "this is wrong" flew freely around her tired brain. "You seem..." she felt his lips against the top of her head.

"...content?" he offered, picking leaves and grass from her long red hair.

She nodded against him.

"I suppose you would prefer me sullen or angry? I am. I am furious with you for this situation. I am also quite...pleased that you have decided to forgive me and..." She fought the urge to look at him. She knew he would stop being so honest. "...spend some time with me before we go our separate ways again. I imagine being irate or sentimental at this point would only hasten your departure."

She stayed very still against him, trying to figure out what to say. She couldn't deny his words and she felt something close to anger at his ability to stump her. And he knew it. After all, they would soon go about their lives, each with a fond final memory of a childhood best friend.

The ache in her chest became real longing then and she found herself sad - for him, for her, for what they had once been and what they had now become. She was reminded of something her mother had said once. "Life isn't fair, Lily."

Lily felt cheated. She had always tried to do the right thing. It seemed to backfire every time. Never did it work out as expected. Following her intuition had made her lose her best friend and had groomed her for the life she would soon lead. James Potter's wife. House wife. James didn't have to work and neither would she. A child would be expected as soon as possible after the wedding.

Despite herself, the idea always left Lily feeling oddly uneasy. She wanted more than a nice house and a slew of children running under foot. She wanted to travel and do things and make a difference. She wanted to finally follow her intuition into something worthwhile instead of painful and regrettable.

But she also knew she would most likely never get the chance. She would marry James. Maybe her sacrifice would be more noble because of her wasted potential.

"Severus?" she whispered, eyes still shut.

"Hmm?" he rubbed his open hand over her shoulder.

"Will you walk me home?"

"Of course."

---

Standing on her back porch, Lily made the first move, putting her arms around his neck. He slid his long arms around her waist and they hugged.

Lily felt a strange anticipation standing in his arms. Severus was obviously reluctant to leave and if she was honest with herself, she was not looking forward to it either. She would be alone in the house. More than that, she would be without Severus indefinitely once he left. She tightened her arms and he did the same, her leg going between his to press her hips more intimately against his, wanting to be as close as possible.

"Maybe..." she swallowed loudly, "...you would come in?"

His body became very still and she thought he was angry for a moment. She pulled away. "I mean, I would like for you to come in for a bit."

Gone was the joy and slight smile or sneer. Instead, he was frowning, his eyes searching her face.

"I have taken advantage of you enough for one lifetime."

Lily's mouth dropped open. "No, Sev, I -- "

He held up one thin hand briefly, shaking his head. "Please, Lily, I have no illusions of the situation. I will do what needs to be done."

Her eyes narrowed. "What does that mean?"

He shrugged and dropped his hand from her waist, taking one step back. "I suggest you go inside and lay down for a while. You'll feel better after you drink some water and sleep in a bed."

She knew he was trying to leave gracefully - to be a gentleman - to leave on a high note.

For whatever reason, that infuriated her. How dare he control the situation? She was supposed to be the mature one. What happened to the boy desperate for her forgiveness? Lily had a thought that made her face go pink, but quickly banished it. Severus was dangerous in more ways than one apparently. James was away on holiday. She was destined for a lonely two weeks in her home unless she found someone to share the space with and Mary and Alice had disappointed already...

"Just come inside for some tea." She grabbed his hand and pulled his arm while making for the door. "No one's home."

When he hesitated, she felt something that she suspected was shame. She felt like a predator stalking her prey - looking for weaknesses and exploiting them, using Sev because she couldn't be alone in her own home. But she pushed it away as their eyes met. He looked confused.

Besides, he was different. He was once her best friend. He was everything James was not.

"Do you have something better to be doing, Sev?"

He appeared to mull this over, a far away look in his eyes, before squeezing her hand and shaking his head.

A/N: I am not 100% happy with this chapter...but I'm tired of re-reading it. Criticism welcome and hopefully I can get the next chapter up asap.