Disclaimer: I own nothing and make nothing from this story. Thank you for reading.

Lily was certain today was either the best day of her life or the strangest.

She had stirred very early in the morning by something soft and wet and oh so...arousing...pressing against her neck and something slim and warm snaking slowly into her pyjama bottoms. She tried to open her eyes, but was still quite tired. She saw through her heavy lids a pale face surrounded by dark hair in the pale light of the sunrise. His eyes were heavy as well, but he had a look of concentration that made Lily smile. When he pulled away and saw she was awake, he smiled slightly and slid his face close to hers, moving above her on the small bed.

"Lily..." Her name escaped as a whisper across his thin lips. "You are so...sweet when you sleep..."

"...when I sleep?" She clutched at his arms, meeting his gaze - and couldn't help but press her hips up against him.

"You respond to me - even in your sleep. That's..." He spread his hands over her and kissed her, moving his hands down to her hips and into her pjs. They slid off easily. "...wonderful."

She shrugged slightly - sleep still trying to claim her - and looked down as he moved to remove the rest of her sleepwear. He dipped his head to kiss the flesh of her lower belly, inches above where she wanted him to go. Instead of asking him - like he might want, but she was just unwilling to give - she simply closed her eyes and relished the feeling of his wet, open-mouth kisses all over her belly. She gasped when he kissed her hip and her legs came together slightly.

Her eyes flew open and she wasn't completely sure, but he appeared frozen - staring at her belly button as if it were on fire - but still poised just above the spot he had kissed on her hip. She smiled so he would hear it in her voice.

"That feels nice."

He still did not meet her eyes, but was not staring at the spot on her hip, his face just inches away. "Only nice?"

"Well," she said softly, gently, as if he may not like to hear it, "there are spots that would feel even better." She shut her eyes and swallowed. "But maybe you should just undress instead."

She kept her eyes shut and eventually she gave up waiting. She opened her eyes. He was frozen again.

This time she sat up, gathering him into her arms as best she could. "Don't do anything you don't want to do."

He sneered - which surprised her. "Don't be a fool - of course I want to do it."

She took a deep breath. "Okay. Well, maybe next time, then." She started to turn away - to go back to sleep really, but he grabbed her hips and spread her legs, diving between them suddenly. She could not help but laugh...and thread her fingers into his hair, moving him over an inch. He went willingly, his hands shaking on her knees.

"Hey, come here," Lily said softly, but thickly, after only a moment. He moved up to her face, but would not meet her eyes.

"Was that...adequate?"

"Definitely, but I want something else right now." She smirked at him and she saw his eyes flash. His hands went to his trousers and she lay back, watching the morning sun peeking in through the window.

His lips met hers as his pale hands threaded into her hair. He had the air of a seasoned pro now and Lily found his confidence both endearing and sweet. He seemed so excited to have found something else he was good at aside from potions and spells. She wondered briefly - in those exquisite first moments - if he would ever sleep with anyone else. It didn't ruin the moment for her.

---

Sleeping late had become the norm in her month in the Snape household, so Lily thought nothing of her exhaustion. She began to worry when she felt nauseated and missed her period. There was no denying it after visiting St. Mungo's...she was pregnant.

She was sitting outside of the wizarding hospital, staring into space, when she felt someone sit beside her. She assumed it was someone waiting for a bus or something until they began to speak.

"Are you okay, Evans?"

She turned sharply. "I'm fine, Potter." She turned forward again, but she could feel him looking at her. She closed her eyes.

"You look beautiful."

She didn't respond - she couldn't think of one thing to say to him.

"I like your new haircut."

She shifted a bit, leaning forward so her elbows rested on her knees.

"Lily, please - talk to me. You...you said we could be friends." He put his arm over the back of the bench. "I...I just want you to be happy."

She finally looked at him and gave him a sad smile. Once he knew what she had just discovered, he would never want to be her friend. But she couldn't tell him before she told Severus - that would be...ill-advised.

"Really, I'm fine - just a bit under the weather, but I'll be fine now." She stood then, brushing off her robes. She should return to Spinner's End...figure out how to tell Severus that she would be bringing a being into a world that was already too dangerous for either of them apart...but together? She fought tears valiantly, but failed. When Potter put his arms around her, Lily found herself sobbing into his shoulder harder than she expected.

When she was done and finally got some control over herself, she pushed away, stepping away at the same time. "Thanks, Potter...erm, James. I'm under some stress right now and I---"

She should have expected it - after all, James was a Gryffindor and she knew him pretty well but...oh, bugger.

"Potter!" She cried against his lips, pushing him away. He hadn't tried to push it - just pressed his over-heated lips against hers. "Stop!"

"Come on, Lily, you still love me."

She took a large step back from him and put both hands on her hips. "I do not. I'm leaving and I don't want to see you again, Potter. You obviously can't be just my friend."

His dark eyebrows moved down and Lily was surprised at the anger she saw there. His fists clenched and she was reminded of Severus.

"Lily, I'm sorry ---"

"Save it." She turned around and began to walk away. "Goodbye, Potter. I've tried to be kind, but next time I won't be."

"Please, Lily--" He reached for her hand and she turned with it, but brought her other hand straight to his face. The loud crack seemed to echo between them. His eyes were wide and though she expected anger, she only saw tears and pain.

She bit her lip to keep from softening against him. He had let her go after the slap and after a moment of looking at him, she turned to leave.

She turned around after just a few steps. "I'm sorry I slapped you James. Please understand, "us" is not going to happen again." She turned quickly - not wanting to see his reaction. Instead, she walked a few steps away - head held high - and disapparated.

---

Lily sat in the dreary sitting room of Spinner's End, a glass of juice in her hand. She told herself she wasn't waiting for Severus, but she knew she was. He was due home any time and she had been trying to figure out how to break the news to him...and whether to tell him about what had happened with James.

She still wasn't completely sure what to do.

A child complicated things immensely. She was young - hell, they were both young - and there was a war going on. They were not married and they had not been dating very long either. Then there was Severus' "responsibilities" for he-who-shall-not-be-named and the Order and...

Of course, she reminded herself, it was a bit late for that. She obviously should have used something - taken some precaution, but she hadn't been thinking and she...

"Stop, Lily," she whispered.

"Stop what?" Severus asked as he came through the door.

She jumped up to meet him halfway, throwing her arms around him. He held her to him tightly and she couldn't help but shut her eyes to savour it - it might not happen again after he found out...she couldn't help but clutch even tighter to him as her thoughts became slightly dire.

"Everything all right?" he asked her, his tone heavy with suspicion.

She answered immediately. "Yes. Just happy to see you."

He narrowed his eyes at her slightly, but smiled a bit. "I'm happy to see you as well."

Looking at him - his content expression and relaxed posture - Lily knew she couldn't tell him her big news just yet. "How was the meeting with Dumbledore?"

His face changed immediately. "He has ideas about the situation that I do not agree with." He pulled her closer to him, tightly, and brought his face to hers, nuzzling her cheek. "He requires assurances from me that I do not wish to give."

She eyed him - looking for a clue of what he meant in his face, but it wasn't there.

He noticed her look however. "It was fine, but I won't be giving information to you." He looked away from her - at the empty fireplace. "I will be giving it directly to him."

"Oh." She wasn't really sure what to say. "Is that a good thing?"

His tone became harsher, but his gaze stayed at the gray logs in the hearth. "I don't know what it is. I'm not sure he completely trusts me."

She squirmed a bit. "Well, Sev, can you blame him?"

His face spun to hers so fast, Lily gasped. "I would hope you are not referring to-"

"No," she interrupted - unwilling to let him talk himself into a fury. "I wasn't. I was referring to the war and his responsibilities to the Order. But--" she held up her hand when he went to speak, "if you are this upset, I'd guess he went too far."

His face went blank and she knew something was happening behind his eyes - she could almost envision it as she stared into his wide, dark eyes.

His mouth opened and closed once before he frowned. Finally, he spoke, "Yes." He searched her eyes. "Thank you."

She smiled sadly, letting her hands move to his shoulders. "I am sorry you have to go through this."

He nodded curtly, but dismissed it with a wave. "A small sacrifice," he said, his voice low and deep - Lily felt it reverberate through her. He brought his lips to hers and she leaned into the kiss immediately, her emotions suddenly bubbling up to the surface, bringing tears to the corners of her eyes and a hitch to her breath. It disappeared as his tongue swept her mouth - replaced with a desire to hold Severus close - to show him exactly how much she appreciated his efforts.

He must have felt it as well - or it was the way she was pressing herself against him, but he opened the bookcase behind him without breaking the embrace, and they moved up the stairs together - hand in hand.

---

Lily may not have awoken at all that afternoon if the sun had not ended up right on her face. Stretching out across the empty bed, she wondered immediately where Severus was.

When she came down the stairs, she found him sitting in a large chair by the empty fireplace - a book in his lap and a glass of whiskey in his hand. He looked up as she padded in on her bare feet, moving to sit on his legs.

"Hi," she said, settiling his large book into her own lap. He was giving her a look she had honestly never seen from him before. "What?"

He glanced down at the book. "You were asleep for quite some time. Are you okay?"

She smiled widely. "Just a bit tired, I guess."

He licked his lips. "You've been sleeping quite a bit lately."

Lily shrugged. "I hadn't noticed." She could feel panic beginning to surface, but she remained calm - he was most likely simply concerned.

His hand slid over her arm. "You've lost some weight as well."

Again she shrugged. She slid her hands under his shirt to run them over his chest. It was both calming and exciting - Lily found her eyes closing and a long sigh escaped her.

Severus put his book on the table beside them carefully with his free hand. Then he slid it around her, hugging her close to him. She opened her eyes to find his glass of liquor in her lap.

"Would you like a drink?"

She desperately wanted to turn and look at him, but he had turned her so her back was against his front and she would have to turn way too far to see him. She felt the panic again and this time was unable to suppress it.

Unable to decide what else to do, Lily jumped up from Severus' lap. When she turned to look at him, he looked as startled as she felt.

She was frozen by his gaze. She wanted to run away, but looking into his eyes she knew she couldn't.

Severus finally stood and she cursed silently. He was almost six inches taller than her and would now be using that... He stood right in front of her, the eye contact not yet broken. His hands went to her hips, but just sat there tentatively.

"Lily, are you keeping something from me?"

She couldn't seem to look away...and the idea of lying to him while staring into his eyes seemed...ill-advised. "Sort of."

He frowned and looked away. She sighed. He looked back at her, but she looked down at his chest immediately, her hands playing with his shirt.

She finally spoke again. "If I tell you, will you tell me what Dumbledore did?" She looked up at him and saw the conflicting emotions in his face.

"That is hardly fair," he said softly, gesturing at the book on the table beside the chair. "I have a pretty good idea of your affliction."

She glanced at the book - Gray's Anatomy. She nearly laughed aloud. How like Severus to investigate in a large, old book - even a Muggle one. "You won't rely on your guess, Sev. You want to know for sure."

He didn't say anything for a long moment, just studied her as she continued playing with his shirt. "All right."

"You first," she said softly, laying her head against his chest. "I'm still a bit tired."

He sighed, but slid his arms around her. She closed her eyes, leaning into him, feeling more relaxed than she had since they had been together upstairs earlier.

"He began with Veritaserum. He was not convinced. I consented to Occlumency and..." She felt him swallow beneath her. "...he saw everything." His voice faltered and his grip on her tightened.

She looked up at him, but he was looking over her head. She saw the tensing of his jaw and lifted her hand to where his skin was flexing. He stopped immediately, glancing down to meet her eyes. They stayed that way for a long moment and Lily found some courage. After all, he had allowed someone who could certainly be considered a potential enemy of Severus' to dose him with truth serum and then probe his mind. She vaugely understood he must feel...exposed and she imagined there were more than a few things she didn't want the old man to see or know about her...

"I don't know if you have guessed my secret," she felt him tense in anticipation, "and I suppose it doesn't matter. When you know for certain, we will have to do something and deal with the consequences and--"

His lips cut her off and when she gasped in surprise, his tongue slid into her mouth. He held her so tightly, kissed her so deeply...she felt her knees weaken and held to him. He seemed so confident, so passionate, it tore at her heart.

Tears came to her eyes, surprising Lily. She recalled the healer telling her she would experience mood swings, but for goodness sakes. The ache in her chest spread and the tears began to fall down her face. Severus must have felt them - or tasted them - because he ended the kiss (Lily couldn't help but marvel that he knew how to do so now) and hugged her tightly.

"Sshh," he said, his voice rumbling through her chest, "please don't cry, Lily."

She began to laugh, even as the tears streamed down her face. Severus leaned away to look at her. The look on his face - complete and utter confusion - made her laugh even harder. The tears became tears of joy.

"Lily, are you okay?" he asked her and she nodded, trying to get a hold of herself.

It took several moments, but finally, she found her voice and her face was dry. "Sorry, but I'm...I'm pregnant." She wanted to say more, but nothing came to her. She closed her mouth and waited, looking at the collar of his shirt...too...something to look at his face.

After a long, silent moment, he grabbed her hands from his chest and took a step back. Her eyes met his and she was speechless.

His eyes traveled over her quickly before he moved her hands around his neck, stepped back to her and embraced her, his face pressing against her head. His voice was choked when he finally spoke. "I don't know what to say, Lily."

His response did not indicate anger - or disappointment, so Lily tried to relax in his arms. She knew he loved her. This was how it was supposed to be when you got pregnant - love, happiness, glee, joy, passion.

The hand stroking her back stilled and she pulled away to look at him. His eyes were dark and troubled, his lips a thin line. "You realize this changes everything." His arms tightened around her and he sighed heavily. "We should leave England."

Her breathing stopped. "No."

He held her tighter. "Please, Lily."

"It won't change anything, Sev. When Halloween comes, you'll become a hunted man if you aren't available to...him." She nuzzled his chest, wishing she could remove his shirt without moving away from him.

His voice was choked again. "We have to speak to Dumbledore."

She scoffed. "So he can see everything about me as well?"

"No," he said, his tone firm. "This will change my plans with him."

She pulled back immediately. "No."

He raised one eyebrow. "What?"

"No, this cannot change your plans. It changes mine some, but otherwise, we need to act as if everything was the same."

"Lily, this changes everything..." His eyes had softened and she found herself smiling. He had her in his arms again, looking down at her, a slight smile creeping over his thin lips. She couldn't help herself - she darted to kiss the tip of his nose. "Merlin help the child if my nose wins the genetic lottery over yours."

She smiled widely. "I wouldn't mind." He gave her a skeptical look. "Everyone would know he or she was yours and mind then..." She smiled shyly as she met his eyes. His eyes were glassy and slightly red and for a moment, Lily thought he might cry. Instead, he pressed his lips to hers.

When he pulled away a moment later, he whispered, his voice thick, "I love you, Lily."

She gasped instead of responding, as Severus swept her into his arms so quickly, she thought she might be sick.

She must have turned slightly green, because his eyes filled with alarm. "Sorry, I--"

She smiled. "I'm fine. Please...continue..." She threaded her arms around his neck and he clutched her tightly - securely - to him.

"Tell me if---"

"Hey!" she exclaimed, causing his mouth to gape. "Just take me upstairs!"

His smile nearly brought tears to her eyes again, but instead, she closed her eyes and held to him as he carried her up the stairs.

---

A/N: So...I am not 100% sure how I feel about this "turn." (What else is new, right?) When I write, I begin and then just let it come out. Is that odd? I don't know if that's how others do it, but I let the story unfold and if I hate it, I try again. So, this still isn't beta'd (I'm not well-versed in fan fiction ettiquette, so please forgive any mistakes). Oh and obviously, Severus & Lily aren't married...which makes that the number one MOST un-canon element of this story. I shudder to think that Severus died in the canon-universe a virgin. What a horrible fate for anyone--I don't refer solely to sex, but to the intimacy it can create - being loved by someone - really loved. To die without that is criminal. Enough ranting. I'll probably change this A/N if/when I edit the chapter again, but THANKS SO MUCH for the awesome reviews and all the faves and alerts. Things have been really rough lately (I've been told 27 is too young to have so many root canals...I say I was born with bad teeth) and it makes my day every time.