As soon as Lily woke, she heard Severus speaking to her. She didn't quite catch it though. She smiled at him as she stretched - noting his expression was blank, but his face was definitely paler than usual.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

His eyes narrowed and she held her breath. "Do you believe me to be a fool?"

Lily's mind went completely blank. "What?!"

"Are you, or are you not, pregnant with Potter's child?"

Lily sighed, trying to appear as relieved as possible. "Not possible. We didn't sleep together for almost three weeks before I was with you." She had counted back as well - there was no doubt it was close and it seemed to indicate it happened the first (or second) time.

She could see him relax, but they both knew he would not give up so easily - even though it was her.

"Lily, I couldn't stand it if you were lying to me. Are you absolutely sure?" He was looking at the wall - face turned from her. His voice betrayed no emotions and his face was hidden. Lily felt...alone.

"I have a doctor's appointment in a month or so. You can come with me. They will tell us how long I've been pregnant." She reached out to touch him - she could almost feel him pulling away from her and it reminded her far too much of times past.

He seemed to consider this and did not immediately shake off her hand - causing her heart to leap. Finally, he turned to her. "I will accompany you, of course, but I need to know something." He finally met her eyes and she tried to keep from overreacting - she wanted to shake him or weep into his arms, but knew that would not help the situation.

To her surprise, his hands covered her stomach suddenly, gently. He met her eyes. "No matter what, Lily - this is my child." He slid his hands over her bare skin, squeezing lightly. "No matter what. Do you understand?"

She was afraid to respond. He simply waited in silence, eyes dark and expectant.

Finally, she licked her lips. What was the worst that could happen? Lily was pretty sure the child was Severus's - after all, she would be three weeks further along if it was James' and... She shook her head, trying to dislodge the idea. Could she play dumb about this one thing if she indeed knew the truth? If James Potter's child happened to be growing inside her, would he be offended if she raised him with Severus Snape? Oh, goodness, that was a bloody stupid question.

She couldn't do it. Could she lie to him? No.

"Sev," she said, moving to put her arms around him, "I am so sure this is your child, I haven't even considered any other possibility until you brought it up. I can't believe you think I would try to trap you or fool you that way. Have you forgotten what happened back in July? I think my choice is clear."

He seemed torn - frustration obvious in his face - but he allowed her to embrace him and she knew he was softening. He nodded silently against her and she felt him kiss her neck as he stooped to hold her more tightly. He sighed heavily as she returned his tight embrace. The silence between them was thick and Lily knew without asking he was still angry.

"I think I got pregnant that very first time, Sev. We both forgot about a contraceptive charm or potion and I guess I was ovulating, because..." she shrugged against him, "...I hadn't slept with James for at least a few weeks before I brought you back to my home." She slid her hands under her shirt, over his lower back, pulling him against her. Tears were beginning to form now. "I need you to be here for me right now."

His silence caused her heart to break. She pulled away from him, tears blurring her vision, her hair in her face, her hands groping for his door.

She made it to the door knob before long thin hands went around her waist from behind. He turned her around, wrapped one long arm around her and grasped her face gently with the other - forcing her eyes to meet his. "I am sorry, but don't ever run away from me again, Lily." Her tears had dried enough to see him fully. He was definitely holding something back - his lips were spread so thin over his teeth she briefly wondered if he would start yelling. Instead, he sighed, closed his eyes and seemed to regain some control over himself. "You promised me we would try to discuss things instead of running away."

"I wasn't going to leave you."

"Why not?" He released her completely and she found herself leaning toward him immediately. He stepped back and sat on his unmade bed, his shoulders hunching, his gaze directed at the floor.

Lily was struck by the change in him - from angry Severus to defeated Severus in moments. She rarely evoked these sorts of mood swings in him and so was surprised every time he reacted this way.

She stood by the door for a moment before walking to the bed. She sat beside him, legs crossed. "I'm not sure I understand."

He gave her what she was sure was supposed to be a nasty look. "Unless the child has a large hooked nose or greasy hair, you will be able to pass it off as a Potter." He sneered at the name. "Believe me when I say you and your child will be far better off with him. He has the means and the connections to keep you alive through this war. I have nothing of the kind. I have nothing to offer you, Lily."

She was thunderstruck. Her brain tried to sort out his statement - to put some logic into it, some rationality, but her mind refused to latch onto any one idea or thought. Instead, she lifted his arm to slide beneath it and cuddle him. She felt better tucked against him, but she knew she would have to speak eventually. She slid her hands over the skin at his waist, one hand moving up over his slim chest, the other sliding down into his boxers. She wasn't really sure what she was doing - she was following some instinct she wasn't completely sure was correct...or right. She removed her hand from his chest and grabbed his hand, forcing it around her.

He immediately held her closer to him, his sudden response exactly what she had been seeking. His lips met hers and he did not protest as her hands moved to undo his trousers. He did not protest as she removed her nightgown and slid onto his lap. He kissed her slowly, carefully, his hands simply resting heavily on her lower back as she pressed her naked body against his, grinding against him, desperate for a response from him.

She pulled away from his mouth and whispered as she removed the last of his clothing - his passiveness making it more difficult than she could have imagined, "If you truly want me to stop, now is the time."

He made no move, just stared at her chest. His palm reached up and slid slowly over her bare skin - goosebumps erupting instantly. "Wow..." he said, starting to squeeze harder.

She winced. "They are quite sore," she said softly and for the first time in what seemed like forever - to her - he met her eyes. His grasp on her eased immediately and his hands slid around her again.

He seemed at a loss for words, but Lily was simply happy he was speaking and responding. She kissed him, her hands moving down his slim form as his tongue slid over her own. She moved up onto her knees, readying herself when she heard him whisper and she stilled.

"I love you, Lily."

Tears threatened again, but she pushed the emotions welling inside her as far down as she could, instead focusing on the deed at hand, sinking slowly onto her lover, her best friend...trying not to think, trying not to do anything but forget.

---

Lily found herself dreading the healer appointment. Severus seemed unnaturally excited about it - as if it would be answer to all his problems.

Lily was certain it would only create more.

He had met with Dumbledore a few days before the appointment. Lily knew he did not tell her everything about the meeting, but he had told Dumbledore that Lily was pregnant. It had seemed prudent, given the danger of the situation. The headmaster had agreed to consider the situation some before making any decisions. Severus was to meet with him again three days after the appointment.

They arrived together at St Mungo's, Severus following Lily as she made her way to the maternity ward. The overwhelming sound of infants was unmistakable and Lily felt a moment of panic. That would be her life soon.

She turned to grab Severus's hand and he smiled, squeezing it briefly before letting go. They shouldn't be seen together...she knew that.

The spell Healer Abshire used was complicated to say the least. Normally, Severus and Lily would have listened intently, trying to learn it. Instead, Lily held to Severus's clammy hand and silently prayed.

She felt the healer's hand on her abdomen then. He left it there for a long moment, then pulled away, to wash up and make a note on her scroll.

"Well," the young man said, appraising the two young people, "you are pregnant, Ms Evans. About ten weeks. You are due at the end of April. Everything seems perfectly fine. Would you like to know the sex?"

The silence that followed was broken finally by the redhead giggling. She turned to the dark-haired wizard, her eyes a bright, beautiful green, and said, her smile nearly distorting her words, "So we conceived at the end of July?"

The healer's eyebrows scrunched. "Yes, that sounds about right."

Lily felt her heart lift. She met Severus's eyes, hoping to see the same happiness she was feeling.

His eyes were cloudy and he was biting his lip. She did not understand. "Sev?"

He looked at her - startled.

"Do you want to know if it's a boy or a girl?"

He gazed at her, but she wasn't sure if he had heard her. He just stared at her.

She turned to the healer. "Not right now. Next time. Thank you."

When they were alone again, Lily put her arms around Severus. He finally seemed to snap from his trance.

"Are you okay?"

He nodded slowly. "Sorry...I..."

She shook her head. "I understand. It's a lot of information."

He nodded again, his arms tightening around her. "I love you."

"I love you, too..." She hugged him tightly. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She saw his eyes clear and felt him relax a bit. "Yes, I need to speak with Dumbledore tonight."

She was immediately suspicious. "What? Why? Shouldn't we go home and celebrate?" She couldn't help but push her hips against his as she said it - her meaning clear hopefully. Her hormones were out of control.

He seemed preoccupied and did not respond to her advance. "We will, but after that..."

"No."

"No?" he seemed genuinely confused.

"Go see him now. You are distracted. I want all of your attention."

He met her eyes. "Okay. But I'm taking you home first."

She smiled at him. "My home or yours?"

"Aren't they the same thing?"

"Not yet."

He narrowed his eyes, but smiled slightly. "What's mine is yours. Or it will be."

She felt a flutter in her chest. "Okay, okay, enough teasing me. Take me home, Sev."

A/N: I amended chp 8--and forgot some of the typos...please forgive. Thanks for reading my other stories as well as this one - you all are awesome! This chapter feels very full of dialogue, which is sort of odd since right now the last thing I want is to talk to any one (that might be due to the root canal I just had). Of course reviews (including constructive criticism) are welcome. Oh and yes, this is sorta filler...next chapter will have more in it.