Much thanks again to Insane Troll Logic for editing and suggestions. Much thanks also to those who have reviewed or alerted this story. I greatly appreciate it.
As always, no copyright infringement is intended.
Better to Reign
God at once sent the angels, Senoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof to fetch Lilith back…. Hebrew Myths- The Book of Genesis
Chapter 4
The next morning found the men drinking coffee and making plans. It was decided that even if Lilith didn't approach the Seal in this Devil's Gate this solstice, they would go ahead and repair the pentagram that warded the cemetery and crypt. It would protect one of the Seals from a future attempt to break it.
It was Sam who came up with the idea of using Goggle maps to visualize the pentagram made of railroad tracks that surrounded the crypt in Wyoming. Even if they couldn't get a good enough view to find out where the break was, it might eliminate miles and miles of track.
It was Bobby's job to obtain the several yards of consecrated iron chains to make the repairs. Not as easy as it sounds. He would also be taking welding tools and anything else that they might need to jury-rig a repair. He figured lashing chains and a D-hook would do it. Since that was all he was going to be able to scavenge, it had better.
Dean was left to record the exorcism.
They left for Wyoming two days later.
They stopped at the next closest town to the cemetery thinking that if there were demons converging on the crypt, they could avoid them.
Sam's research had eliminated almost seventy percent of the pentagram as having a break. That still left many, many miles that had to be walked. Bobby and Dean drew the short straw and set out with maps and sturdy shoes the next morning. Once the breach was found, they would acquire an ATV to haul the equipment out to do the quick-fix.
Sam decided to gather research. That meant meeting with Ruby.
Sam called the demon after he was certain that neither Bobby nor Dean would be showing up back at the motel unexpectedly. Ruby arrived half an hour later. There was no small talk, she got straight to business.
"I found out that Lilith is coming. She will be at the crypt on the solstice. There are already several demons in the closest town to prepare the way."
"Good. We're on the right track then."
"Oh, yes. You're going to fail spectacularly but you'll be in the right place when it happens. You're not ready, Sam. You need to practice and then take on Lilith."
"No powers, Ruby. We have a plan."
"We have a plan or Dean has a plan? Speaking of Dean, does he know I'm here?"
Sam looked away for only a second but it was enough to answer Ruby's question. "Big brother's still not happy that you're still seeing me, is he? You're hiding things from him and lying to him. I can see what that's doing to you.
"You're feeling guilty over things for which you have no guilt. You're doing the best you can and making a difference where you can, fixing things you can fix. Sam, Dean came back from Hell broken. You can't fix him. He's holding you back. How many people could you have saved from possession in these last few months if you had just used what God didn't stop from being given to you? You've proved that you don't need him—not the way he thinks he needs you."
"Stop! You don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't I? I know what Hell does to a person. It breaks you and then you become a demon. Your brother was rescued after he broke but before he was turned but he's still broken and he knows he's broken. I also know what you're capable of and how many demons we exorcised; how much good we were doing.
"I get that you feel like you owe your brother but don't you also owe it to all the people that you could save, to save them?"
Sam crossed his arms and shook his head. "The angels…"
"The angels are losing, Sam. Just think about it, that's all I'm asking. When you realized I'm right, let me know and we'll get back to hunting things and saving people."
She watched his face and saw him weakening but decided not to push at the cracks just yet. "Can you at least save one person? I've captured one of Lilith's demons. You can question her and then destroy her. If you just exorcise her, she'll go back to Hell and Lilith will know that you're here."
"Ruby, you shouldn't have done that."
"What, Sam, given you a potential advantage?"
Sam chewed his lip and thought. "All right, where is she? But just this once, no more."
Ruby nodded trying to hide her smile.
The demon didn't tell them anything. It died and the girl it had been possessing lived. It felt good to know that he had saved someone. Better than the flash of guilt he felt whenever he caught despair mirrored in Dean's eyes when his brother thought no one was looking. Much better than the suspicion his brother turned his way whenever he said he was going out by himself—even if he had earned it.
Sam really wanted to feel useful, even if it was just for a while. Ruby was right about one thing, he thought, he wasn't doing Dean any good but that didn't mean he couldn't do any good.
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The tracks only had one break but it was a bad one; the rail snapped and curled back on itself. Bobby just shook his head when he saw it. He would weld the chain to one side and the corresponding hook on the other. The chain could be hooked or unhooked as needed, to let a demon in or to keep demons out. It wasn't a permanent solution for the protection of the crypt but it would do in a pinch. It was going to be a two man job and he decided to make Dean carry the acetylene torch and needed materials. It would give the boy something to do besides brood.
It was on the way back to where he was suppose to meet Dean, who'd walked in the opposite direction checking track, that he met the demon. Of course, he didn't know it was a demon at first, though he thought it odd that anyone else would be out walking the line. However, when its eyes turned black and it threw him into a tree, he figured it out pretty quickly.
The demon wearing a hiker walked toward Bobby with a smirk. It reached down and lifted him from the ground where he had fallen. Dazed, Bobby scrambled to reach into his jacket pocket for his hip flask of Holy water. The demon grabbed his throat. Bobby began to unscrew the cap. The edges of his vision turned black. The demon's grip tightened. Bobby couldn't draw a breath. He flung the contents of the flask upward, catching the demon in the face. It screamed and its grip loosened. Bobby fell. He landed wrong. His vision that had been turning black, flashed white with sudden pain. He lost several seconds as he tried to struggle to his feet, one hand on the tree to brace himself. He readied himself for a fight, calling the Latin exorcism to his tongue and reaching behind his back for his weapon.
When he could finally see clearly, the first thing he saw was Dean. He was standing and panting, looking down at a body on the ground, holding a knife dripping blood—Ruby's knife.
Dean looked up and caught Bobby's eye. "You okay?"
Bobby lifted his cap and ran his hand over his head before replacing it. The action gave him a moment to take an inventory and to cover his slight shakiness as the adrenaline ebbed. "Mostly. Think I sprained my ankle. Not sure how bad."
Dean nodded. "Have a seat. I'll check it as soon as I get rid of the body." He wiped the knife on the hiker's jacket and then rummaged in the coat and pocket looking for identification. There was nothing. He looked around for someplace to hide the body, deciding to come back and burn it after he got Bobby squared away. He grabbed the lifeless hands, his skin crawling at the contact. A wince of pain escaped before he could cover it and he stood back up abruptly.
"What about you, you all right?" Bobby asked, concerned.
"I'm fine. Bastard caught me hard in the ribs with his elbow when I got him in the back."
"Those things pack a wallop, it broken?"
Dean fingered his ribs tentatively. "Nah, just bruised, I think."
He bent back down, carefully, and dragged the body off a ways, hiding it in bramble and throwing leaves and branches over it. He took another branch and swept it across the tell tale marks dragging the body made. When he finished he went back and bent down to see Bobby's ankles. He didn't need to ask which one was hurt. He could see it swelling over the rim of his boot. The boot already looked so tight that he wondered if they would need to cut it off when they got Bobby back to the room.
"It's going to be a long walk back to your truck." Dean said causally while shifting his shoulder under Bobby's arm to give him support.
Bobby grunted but agreed to the help without a fuss. He'd learned long ago to accept honest help honestly offered. Something he figured the Winchesters were still working on.
Sam was was waiting in the room when Bobby and Dean pulled up. He heard the truck and glanced out the window. Seeing Dean getting out of the driver's side and going around to help Bobby out, Sam rushed outside.
"Bobby?"
"I'm fine. We just had a little run in with a demon, sprained my ankle with a bad landing. Help your brother get me inside so I can get it iced and wrapped."
He caught the key to Bobby's motel room door and hurriedly opened it as Dean assisted Bobby inside. He then ran to the Impala and got the first aid kit from the trunk. By the time he got back, Bobby was seated on the side of the bed with Dean kneeling at his right foot, studying his boot like it was some kind of interesting puzzle.
Sam sat the first aid kit by Dean and then took the ice bucket and headed for the ice machine. He walked back into an argument.
"These are my favorite boots. I don't want you cutting them up!"
"Well if this is one of your favorite ankles, I'm going to have to cut the boot off. Your ankle's swollen so badly the boot's not coming off unless I cut if off."
"Cut the damn laces."
"Shoot," Dean grinned, "you remembered the laces."
Bobby leaned over and smacked Dean upside the head. "Smart ass. Just get on with it."
Dean took out his favorite knife and cut the laces, and then smoothly pulled the boot off. He didn't offer any sympathy when Bobby grunted in pain. He gently probed the ankle to make sure it was just a bad sprain. "Sam, we still have any witch hazel in the kit? If we do, take it to the bathroom and soak the ace bandage in it. It'll help with the swelling."
Sam came back into the bedroom with the bandage damp but not dripping and handed it to his brother.
"Sam, after your brother finishes wrapping up my ankle, check his ribs. He took a pretty good hit. Said they were only bruised but you know what that means, it's either really just bruised or broken and punctured a lung. Seeing how he's breathing okay, not likely to have hit anything vital but you check him anyway."
"Dean?" Sam started toward his brother in concern.
"Sam, really, I'm fine."
"Bruised?"
"I've had enough to know, so yeah, just a bruise."
Sam nodded, accepting his brother at his word, at least until he could check for himself. "So a demon?"
Despite some discreet looking around, no more demons were identified in the small town where they were staying. It was decided to check out the town closest to the cemetery as well. Again there were no obvious indications of possession. Of course if the demons were laying low, they would never identify them. Lilith may or may not know that they were there. They didn't know for certain the demon that attacked Bobby was with her, though it seemed likely. They didn't know if she would change her plans if he didn't contact her.
Sam didn't mention that Lilith was missing two demons.
They decided to proceed with the plan. Bobby would stay with the break; due to his sprained ankle he needed a stationary job. After Sam sent him a signal that Lilith was inside the pentagram at the crypt, he would seal the breach so no other demons, other than those that came with her, could enter. It might also keep Lilith from getting back out. Sam and Dean would be hiding close to the crypt. When Lilith appeared there…well that was where things got a little iffy. Basically they would be playing it by ear and leaving it up to luck. Sam would have liked a better plan. He didn't trust the Winchester's version of luck.
He would rather trust himself.
That night Dean woke from a nightmare with Sam's name on his lips. Sam pretended to be sleeping, pretended not to hear. The following night would be the solstice.
In the morning Dean and Bobby would weld the consecrated chain and D-hook to the tracks.
Sam woke before his brother. Actually, he had never gone back to sleep after being awakened by Dean's nightmare. It may have been Ruby that put the idea in his head but it was the nightmare that decided him on his course of action, the way Sam's name had sounded like a plea. As if Dean were begging Sam to what? Sam tortured himself all night with that question.
Sam had been pondering what Ruby had said to him and realized that he wasn't helping anyone the way things stood. Not only was he not helping his brother but he was hurting him. That was something that he'd never meant to do. Dean was trying to cling to the past. Sam was concerned about both of their futures. If his brother couldn't see that, then the only thing to do would be to try to make everything as easy and painless as possible. After it was all over, there would be time and Dean would forgive him. Although he doubted Ruby, his powers and the wisdom of what he was going to do, that he did not doubt. Dean always forgave him.
Dean was first to the shower that morning. He came out rubbing his wet hair with a towel, his jeans riding low on his hips, the top snap undone.
Sam sat quietly on the bed watching. Now might not be the best time to bring it up and he knew he was going to be blindsiding his brother but no matter what happened tonight, things were going to have to be different. His brother had a right to know that he was leaving.
"Dean, you sleep good last night?"
Dean looked exasperated, either with the question or with him, Sam didn't know which. "Course I did, why?"
"You had another nightmare. Want to tell me about it?"
Dean stilled, his face a neutral mask. "Don't really remember it."
Sam sighed.
"Dean, this isn't working out. The time you were gone, we both changed. I don't think things can ever go back to being the way they were and I'm not sure I want them to. You're always upset with me and I'm always feeling guilty for doing what I think is right, for turning a curse into something that, while it might not be good, isn't evil."
"Sam, what are you talking about? You're that upset because I can't remember some dream?"
"You're miserable, Dean. I don't want to be the cause of that anymore. I also don't want to give up an advantage, the only advantage we might have. I think, after we take care of this Seal, that we'd be better off splitting up for a while; not forever, just a few months."
"Like maybe four months, Sam?" Dean retorted angrily.
"Dean, don't start. This is for the best. My presence won't be constantly reminding you of your time in Hell and I won't have to choose between stopping the demons and hurting you."
"You don't think your leaving won't…" Dean swallowed convulsively, looking down until he was certain that his emotions were contained. "It's that bitch, Ruby, isn't it? What's she been telling you? That you should be out exorcising demons with your mind, stepping up and taking your place at the head of a demon army, that you're the best thing since sliced bread. She's filling your head with lies and crap and you're buying every word of it. Tell me you aren't planning on meeting up with her when you run off."
"I'm not running off! I'm just going to go fight my battles my way."
"And you trust her to watch your back? More than you trust me?" Dean's voice had gone beyond hot with anger to ice cold.
"I don't trust her more than you. I'm not certain I trust her at all--but she'll watch my back. Hell, she's saved my life."
"She's saved your life, Sam. Well, I certainly can't top that, can I?"
"Dean…"
"She gonna keep the angels off your back too?"
"They won't find me." Sam was digging in and getting stubborn.
Dean shook his head and muttered under his breath, "I won't stop him, I can't, don't ask me to." He looked up at his brother. "Sam, don't go. I don't want you to."
He looked his brother in the eye, secretly hoping that Sam would say he was just joking. Sam didn't. Sam said nothing. Dean grabbed a shirt and didn't even bother pulling it over his head. "I'm gonna go over and check on Bobby. We'll go repair the rails for the pentagram. I'll meet you at sundown at the crypt. You will be there won't you?"
"Of course. I'm not leaving until this job is over. If we manage to get Lilith and the colt, maybe I won't need to go at all."
Dean probably didn't hear the last part as he was already out the door and slamming it behind him.
Sam thought he had felt guilty sneaking around behind Dean's back. What he felt now didn't even compare.
Dean picked Bobby up a cheap crutch at the local drug store to help him get around. He loaded up the ATV with welding equipment, chain, food, water and Bobby and took off. He was in a black mood and Bobby wasn't fool enough to ask what was going on. Besides, he knew that the only thing that could affect Dean like that was Sam.
They worked in silence and had the job done by noon. That left way too many hours to do nothing but think. Out of nowhere, Dean suddenly said, "He's leaving again. After this job, Sam intends to take off."
Bobby grimaced. This wasn't totally unexpected, at least by him. No matter how strong the bond, put enough stress on it and something would have to give. "He say why?"
Dean shook his head and kicked viciously at a rock. "Nothing that made any sense."
Dean looked at Bobby, face open and desperate. "What am I supposed to do?"
Bobby gave a soul weary sigh. "The best you can, son, the best you can."
Bobby stayed by the repair to guard the work and to seal the breach at the correct time. They had checked and there was signal so Sam would text him on a cell to let him know when to close the pentagram. Dean would leave the ATV for Bobby to use. Sam would have the Impala hidden close to the cemetery.
The walk from the tracks to the cemetery didn't take nearly as long as he wanted it to. Dean decided that when he saw his brother he would pretend like the whole sorry conversation never happened. He arrived well before sunset. The last time he was here was the last time that he had seen his father. He had killed the yellow-eyed demon with his dad's help. His dad had seemed proud of him before he stepped into the light. Dean had always wondered if his dad knew about his deal. If he was as proud of him for saving Sam as he seemed to be for killing the demon. He decided that John might not have been proud but he would have understood.
He walked slowly to the crypt, that whole night replaying itself in his mind: Jake arriving with the colt and using it as a key to open the gate, Ellen pointing her gun at her own head, Sam shooting Jake, the gate opening, demons being released and his father. It was worth the gate being opened for his father to walk out of Hell. Dad made it out on his own, he thought, I needed a freaking angel to grip me tight and raise me from perdition. Dean never thought that he measured up when he compared himself to his father. His dad was gone now, for good, and Sam....
Dean grabbed the golden talisman that he had made to protect himself from Lilith's power. He held it so tightly that the corner began to cut into his hand. He stared at the crypt for a long time before lifting it over his head.
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Sam had most of the day to himself. It was a long day, giving him time to think and doubt his decision, or at least doubt his timing. Ruby showed up at his motel room around noon.
She said she would be at the cemetery to provide what help she could and to clean up the bloody mess if things went really wrong. She told him he had made the right decision and that someday Dean would understand it. Sam knew he wouldn't.
Sam arrived at the cemetery at dusk. He parked the Impala where it had been parked almost a year and a half ago. He saw Dean staring at the crypt. He didn't bring up their conversation of the morning and neither did his brother. He hadn't expected him to.
The Devil's trap was spray painted in dark brown paint on the dry, hard earth and covered in a thin layer of dirt and leaves. The tape player with the pre-recorded exorcism was secreted behind a tombstone.
The Winchester had hours to wait until they thought Lilith would arrive. They hid behind the same tombstones as the last time they were here.
The hardest thing about hunting wasn't the minutes of adrenaline rushing action where the wrong move could get you killed. It was the hours of boredom before the adrenaline rush.
The cemetery was illuminated by an old dusk to dawn light. It cast deep shadows.
Lilith arrived around midnight with only one other demon. Sam sent the text to Bobby so he could close the pentagram. If any other demons were on their way, they wouldn't get in. And Lilith couldn't get out, probably.
Lilith was wearing a preteen girl with long blond hair and sky blue eyes. She looked sweet and innocent. It was a good disguise. She was holding the hand of a demon wearing a middle aged, matronly looking woman carrying a large purse. Mother and daughter.
They walked toward the crypt. Several feet away, Lilith said something and the other demon reached into the purse and drew out the colt. Both approached the crypt. Lilith stepped into the Devil's trap and stopped abruptly. She stared at the ground then twirled around, her skirts flying. She called, "Come out, come out, wherever you are" and slowly walked back out of the trap. The other demon tried to follow but could not pass through.
"Something like that won't hold something like me, silly. Now where are you?"
Dean caught Sam's eye from where they were hiding and shrugged. They had to depend on Ruby's knife and the exorcism now. Sam shook his head frantically but Dean ignored him and stood up.
"Looking for me bitch? Just remember, I killed the last demon I met in this cemetery. I'm looking to go two and oh."
"Dean? I'm surprised you're here. Is your brother here too? Strange, I can't feel him. That witch must have been being bad again, handing out hex bags when she shouldn't. Oh, well, I'll take care of her later." With a motion, Dean flew backward into a tombstone.
"Dean!" Sam shouted, rising from his hiding place. Another motion from Lilith and Sam flew backward into a tree. He hit his head so hard that the dark night went even blacker and he passed out. A few minutes later he was back. There was none of the disorientation that he usually felt after waking up from a concussion. He knew immediately where he was and what was going on. He saw Lilith squatting down beside his brother, running one hand down his face as if petting him. Her face was in shadow. Dean was staring her in the eye and was wearing a cocky grin but was breathing fast. Sam knew his brother well enough to know that he was putting on a brave face but was slowly losing it. The sweet looking little girl terrified him.
That terrified Sam.
"Dean, Dean, I've missed you so much. You were such fun to play with," Lilith practically crooned. There was blood on his brother's face but Sam couldn't see from where it was coming. Lilith took the gun and rolled the barrel roughly in the blood, causing Dean to grunt.
"You leave him alone!" Sam screamed. He struggled against unseen bonds.
Lilith turned innocent blue eyes on the younger Winchester. "Do you want to play too? All the demons liked to play with Dean. Every demon you exorcised while he was in Hell got in line, every single one. You should ask Ruby how much fun Dean was, how pretty he looked with his insides on the outside. Will you be that much fun Sam?"
"What do you mean I should ask Ruby?" Sam asked with trepidation.
Lilith tilted her head and looked at him quizzically. "How do you think she got me to trust her again? She had to play with us—me and Dean. She played so rough, she enjoyed it so much. I thought she was going to be a good girl this time but she wasn't, was she. She lied to me. I trusted her and she lied to me. I let her out again and she left and betrayed me. I don't think I'm going to let her play with Dean anymore when she comes back."
Sam swallowed back bile. Ruby had tortured Dean in Hell and Sam had been…with her, listening to her. He might have well have been torturing Dean himself.
Lilith turned back to the crypt and walked toward it, bloody barrel pointed toward the hidden opening. She stopped and lowered the gun. "Oh, Dean, you've been a bad, bad boy." Her little girl voice could not contain the fury of the demon. Affixed to the door of the crypt was the talisman. She would not be able to open the gate and break the Seal. She turned angrily to Dean and made a slashing motion with her hand. Blood began to spill down his shirt as if his chest were opened with a large knife. She made the motion again and another line of blood appeared.
Dean held back a scream of pain as best he could. Lilith smiled.
Sam saw the blood and heard the aborted scream. He heard Dean begin to whisper under his breath, his head bowed as if he were too tired to lift it. He screamed, "Dean!" and struggled against Lilith's hold. He opened his mind to try to call the demon Lilith out of her host.
Lilith started toward Dean, curious as to what he was saying. She felt the pull that Sam was exerting and walked toward him instead, smiling. "What are you trying, Sam? Do you think you're strong enough for that to work on me? You are going to be fun, maybe as much fun as your brother." She raised her hand and extended it toward Sam. Her eyes flashed white. Not the white of purity but the white of decay and corruption: maggot white. Nothing happened. She sighed, "Azazel chose his children well. You can't use his legacy on me but I can't use mine on you. Guess I'll just have to disembowel you the old fashion way."
Suddenly Dean screamed, "Senoy, Sansenov and Semangelof! Close your eyes, Sam! Close your eyes!"
A warm wind began to blow, first gently but quickly growing in strength until it was whipping the leaves scattered on the ground into a wild dance. A spot of bright, almost incandescent light began to glow in the east. There was a sound, almost like white noise that grew to ear shattering volume. Sam closed his eyes. He heard Lilith scream, "No, no, you can't!"
Time passed, the breeze died. The invisible bonds that bound him to the tree were gone and Sam fell forward, stumbling to his knees. He opened his eyes. Before him lay a little girl, her arm stretched out, the colt lying beside it. Beyond her lay the matronly woman. Neither was moving. He scrambled toward the child and put his fingers to her neck. There was a pulse. He grabbed the gun and shoved it into the waist of his jeans.
He turned to his brother. He lay slumped against the headstone. There was so much blood. It ran in a red stream from Dean's chest to pool on the ground. It reminded Sam of the cabin where the yellow-eyed demon possessed their father. How the demon had slashed Dean and made him bleed. Slashed him like he had their mother and Jess. He checked his bother's pulse. It was erratic and fast. "Dean, Dean, wake up!"
He gathered his brother in his arms to carry him to the Impala. Dean needed a hospital immediately.
"What are you doing, Sam?" Ruby appeared as if by magic. "Lilith is weakened, if we go after her now, we can beat her."
"Dean's hurt. He needs a hospital." Sam continued to carry his brother toward the road where he had parked the car. Dean felt lighter than he should have but Sam still stumbled, suddenly dizzy.
"The angels will take care of him. Castiel pulled him out of Hell; you don't think he can get him to a hospital?" She said moving in front of him.
Sam stopped momentarily and stared at her before shouldering his way past. "Why didn't you tell me you saw Dean in Hell? That you tortured him?"
"I told you that you didn't want to know what I had to do to get Lilith to trust me again so I could get out. You knew we were there at the same time. You never asked. I think you suspected but didn't want to know the truth because you might not be able to rationalize that with your precious self-righteousness. Well, it's time to step up to the plate and make a choice--Dean or saving this earth by using what you were given and becoming a weapon that can take out Lilith.
"She's close, Sam, and weakened. We could end this, if not today then soon."
Sam kept walking, his brother becoming a heavier burden with each step. He thought about going with Ruby, God help him, he actually thought about it. The nausea he felt had nothing to do with the concussion he had received earlier.
"I'm taking Dean to the hospital, Ruby. I couldn't save him from Hell but this is something I can do for him. This and one other thing…I don't want to see you anymore. I told you I was done with using the power and now, I'm done with you." He walked away; starting to struggle under the weight of his brother but feeling a lot lighter himself.
Ruby looked at him in disbelief. She didn't follow.