FASH: Sorry this was really late, but school is the priority of my life and I got a bunch of homework from several of my classes, so I didn't have enough time to type this all up for last week. I'll try and get the final chapter up next week, but I can't really guarantee anything.

""-speech

''-thoughts

Sena was, by now, pretty much used to any sort of affection Shin decided to throw his way. Holding hands, hugging, innocent kisses and now kisses like the one he'd received before Lady Shin had interrupted. So it goes to say that he didn't think that he could really be shocked any more.

He stood corrected.

Shin was holding him in a warm embrace, showering him with hot kisses and pressing up against him in a way that made Sena's breath catch in his throat.

Shin seemed to realize that he was tense because he slowed down, his kisses becoming lighter and sweeter, trying to coax Sena to relax.

It worked astoundingly fast.

Shyly Sena began leaning into the kisses, softly returning them without nearly as much vigour as Shin, but the fact that he was returning them at all seemed to spur Shin on. It wasn't until after Shin pulled away to catch his breath for a moment that Sena realized the other boy's hands had slipped under his shirt, methodically running up and down his sides while Sena's own hands gripped tightly at his shoulders.

"Sena." Shin murmured, his voice hot and sweet. "Sena." He whispered again, all coherency lost as he trailed his lips down Sena's neck.

Sena moved one of his hands from Shin's shoulders to the back of the older boy's head, gripping at his hair lightly and pulling Shin's lips back up to press against his lips.

His mind was blessedly empty for several long minutes, all of his senses were engulfed by the boy in front of him and it was short-circuiting his brain.

Reality came crashing back when Shin pulled away once again, a more intense look than normal in his eyes.

"Sena, I love you."

Shock flooded though him and he froze, mind whirring as he processed the words.

'... Love?'

Maybe he shouldn't have been so surprised, Shin had been telling him that he liked him for a long while now, but could his feelings really have grown into love?

'Would he be doing this with you if he weren't in love with you?' A voice in his mind which strangely enough sounded like Hiruma asked him. 'And would you be doing this if you didn't love him?'

The answer scared him.

'No.'

"Sena, are you alright?" Shin pulled away and worriedly cupped Sena's face in his hands.

"I... I..." Sena tried to calm himself down, but now that his mind had started up again it couldn't seem to stop throwing thoughts out at him.

Did Shin really know what love was? He'd only been back for almost a year, how would he know? What if he only thought he loved Sena? Was if this was all a huge mistake?

Shin pursed his lips together and cocked his head to the side. "Takami says that, according to the way I act around you, I must really like you."

'Really like. Really liking someone isn't loving someone.'

"But there's more to it then that." Shin leaned forward and rested his forehead against Sena's. "I hate it when you're not around. When you are around, I'm really happy. I love you."

"Seijuro..." Sena removed his hands from Shin to clasp them in front of himself. "I... Your mother-"

"This isn't about my mother, it's about us." Shin furrowed his eyebrows, looking somewhat distraught. "How do you feel about me?"

"I really like you Seijuro, but..."

"But what?"

Sena lowered his eyes and attempted to stay calm as he tried to think of an answer that wouldn't alert Shin to their oncoming separation.

'Damn it, I wish I knew how to deal with this sort of thing.'

"I just... I need some time to figure everything out, is that alright?" He asked timidly and Shin nodded as he affectionately ran a hand through Sena's hair.

"Of course... But don't make me wait too long." He said with a small smile that made Sena want to confess everything right then and there, the only thing holding him back was the knowledge that in three months time they'd hardly have time to see each other any more.

He didn't know which one was more cruel: to keep his feelings to himself, or to allow Shin to become even more attached to him before they became segregated. But at this moment, the lesser of the two evils seemed to be the first choice.

He just hoped he wasn't making a huge mistake with this.

He slipped out of Shin's room before his somewhat imminent mental breakdown could occur and rushed towards his own room, hoping that he could figure everything out as long as there was nothing around to distract him.

Once he had locked himself in the relative safety of his room he began to pace, sporadically running a hand through his hair as he tried to clear his mind.

"Okay, so we kissed, nothing strange about that." He murmured. "And Seijuro says he lo-loves me. And I think I might lo-lo-love him too, maybe, sort of, even though I don't have a basis of comparison. But in several months I'll be going back to working at the stables, and Seijuro's going to be busy with his studies and whatever else his mother throws his way. We won't have any time for a relationship." Sena could feel his cheeks heating up at the thought and he quickly tried to shake his suddenly warm and fuzzy feelings away without much success.

"In any case, it would be better if we just stayed friends, then the separation won't be as bad, right?" He wrung his hands together worriedly. "But if Seijuro gets me alone again, then I might blurt everything out." He pursed his lips together and narrowed his eyes in thought.

"I guess I'll just have to keep myself from being alone with him then. It'll be for the greater good, and I'm sure that if his mother knows I'm trying to make the separation less painful she'll at least think about helping me." He nodded to himself, fairly certain that his plan would work, and if it didn't...

Well, he'd think about that when then times came, for now he would have to ask if Lord and Lady Shin would be willing to help him for the sake of their son's feelings.

-x-x-x-

Avoiding Shin, to the best of his ability at least since there was no way he could completely avoid him, was probably the stupidest idea he'd ever had in his entire life. Not only because it made him feel like some sort of spineless coward but it also made him feel awfully lonely.

He'd be with Shin during his lessons and sometimes for a couple minutes afterwards before Lord or Lady Shin came along to sweep their son away and he had to find something to occupy his time before he died of boredom. It wasn't easy, especially considering that by now he was used to spending hours of free time with Shin, so usually he'd just end up hanging around Suzuna wherever she was, occasionally helping her with her chores and moping.

"Sulking isn't going to help your situation." She'd tell him after he sighed one time too many. "This is only happening because you're letting it happen, so why don't you just ask to spend more time with the young master? Lord Shin would allow it."

"But wouldn't that make me seem... Whisy-washy? Like I can't just make up my mind?" Sena tended to mumble in response and Suzuna would roll her eyes.

"But if you're this depressed about only seeing him for the majority of your waking hours anyways, imagine how he feels."

Sena could imagine, and it made him feel devastatingly guilty, as if he'd just killed someone.

Operation Try-And-Avoid-Seijuro was abandoned after not even two full weeks in action, much to Lady Shin's disapproval.

Shin just seemed to be happy to be around him all the time once again, wearing a content smile on his face whenever his lessons ended and he was free to do as he wanted without someone dragging him away.

He was so content, in fact, that Sena was having a hard time trying to figure out how to tell him that pretty soon they'd be separated. He didn't want the older boy to worry that their days together were numbered.

'It won't be that bad. I'll still be around, we'll just both be busy.' He tried to assure himself every time he put off telling the older boy about the situation.

Perhaps it would not be so bad if Shin, ever the observer, hadn't started to realize that Sena was keeping something from him and began asking questions that Sena wasn't sure how he was supposed to answer.

"Sena, is something wrong?" He'd ask, his eyes oddly wide as he stared down at the brunette. "You're not hiding something from me, are you? Is mother interfering again?"

"Oh no, I've just had a lot on my mind lately, is all." Sena would answer back and he could tell from Shin's expression that the older boy didn't believe him at all.

Shin never pushed him to answer, something Sena was eternally grateful for. But he could tell that the curiosity was becoming more and more uncontrollable as time went on.

A week before Shin's first year anniversary Sena had taken to helping Suzuna out with her chores again, because despite all of Lady Shin's grand plans for her son's celebration she refused to hire anyone else to help and Suzuna was getting overworked.

He had been taking some things outside to throw in the compost when he crossed paths with his father and paused awkwardly.

"Hey, how have you been?" He asked slowly and his father shrugged his shoulders.

"Pretty busy, you know, the usual. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well. By the end of this week I'll be back home and doing my old job again."

"I see."

His father turned to leave, but paused. "Ah, Sena, another one of those letters arrived for you this morning from Hiruma."

"Really? I'll come by and pick it up when I have some free time."

It was probably just one of Hiruma's normal updates, he'd read it when his life settled back down.

-x-x-x-

It was several days before the first year anniversary of Shin's return when Lord Rodchenko arrived at the Shin manor, seemingly in better spirits than he had been the first time Sena had met him during Christmas, but even so he still managed to give Sena the creeps. He was too busy helping Suzuna out with her chores and preparations to keep a cautious eye on him most of the time, but whenever he did manage to catch a glimpse of the man he tended to be hanging around Shin.

That irked him for some reason, but he didn't comment on it for fear of Suzuna prodding him into action. Besides, it wasn't like Rodchenko was doing anything wrong by keeping his young relative company, even if it just didn't seem right to him.

Too bad Suzuna seemed to notice his feelings anyways, reading them as though he were an open book.

"Lord Rodchenko sure is around the young master a lot, isn't he?" She began conversationally the day before the celebration. "Do you suppose they got along well when the family all went to visit him for a week?"

Sena shrugged his shoulders and Suzuna took that as a sign to go on.

"I guess it's to be expected that they get along, since they're related and all, but doesn't it seem like he's monopolizing the young master's time?"

"What Lord Rodchenko does in his free time doesn't concern me." Sena answered evenly before turning back to the pile of potatoes he had to peel.

"Doesn't concern me." Suzuna mimicked with a roll of her eyes. "What he does might not be your business, but the business of the other half of the current dynamic duo is."

"Oh? And why do you think that?" Sena asked as calmly as he could manage and Suzuna just gave him a pointed look and a dramatic sigh in response.

Suzuna not believing him wasn't that big of a deal though, because really, even he didn't believe himself. But that didn't mean he was going to let himself hurt Shin on such a high emotional level.

'Besides, after tomorrow we'll hardly have any time together, we wouldn't be able to keep up a relationship.'

He seemed to be thinking along those lines a lot lately, and then another thought would come, unbidden.

'Yes, but isn't it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?'

Sena bit his lip and tried to keep himself focused on the tasks at hand without much luck.

'Seijuro isn't emotionally mature enough to go through heartbreak, he may be older than I am, but he still hasn't been around people enough yet to be completely developed.'

Or so he kept telling himself.

-x-x-x-

The following morning Sena woke up extremely early to help Suzuna with her breakfast preparations, although he hadn't been able to attain much sleep the night beforehand due to over-thinking everything.

Being as tired as he was it wasn't all too surprising that he ended up tripping over his own two feet, bumping into Suzuna and causing them both to fall over, tipping over a couple chairs on their way, only to land in a precarious position on the floor.

They stayed still for several moments, both of them just happy that they hadn't bashed their heads off of a counter top on the way down.

"...Ow..." Suzuna groaned, breaking the silence abruptly. "It feels like I landed on a rolling pin."

"I think it's actually my arm."

"It's round and uncomfortable. Same difference. Now get off, you're heavy."

"You're not exactly light as a feather either you know, I'll be amazed if my arm doesn't get bruised." Sena replied, his lips quirking upwards in an amused smile that Suzuna easily returned.

Then they heard a stifled gasp and they both turned, paling at the sight they beheld.

Shin was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, and he did not look happy.

"Sena..." He began, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to find the words that would properly describe how he felt.

Sena and Suzuna quickly rolled away from each other and stood up.

"Seijuro, this isn't-"

"You love Suzuna." Shin stated darkly.

"What?! No, that was just an-"

"You never liked me."

"Would you listen to me for a second? I just tripped! It doesn't mean anything!"

"Then why haven't you answered me yet?!" Shin took several large steps forward and gripped Sena's shoulders harshly. "Why don't you tell me how you feel about me?!" His hands had begun to shake and Sena could feel the tremors through his clothes. "It's been months. Why haven't you answered me?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you." Sena replied earnestly.

"Then... You really don't love me..."

"Seijuro, I don't want to hurt you because tomorrow I'm going back to my old job and who knows how often we'll be able to see each other! I just... I can't..." He was starting to tear up now and he took a deep breath to try and calm himself down. "It'll be too much if I finally confess, only to have to leave right after. I can't handle that."

He slipped out of Shin's loosening grip and high tailed it out of there, knowing it wouldn't take too long for Shin to realize his feelings after that awkward heart to heart.

As he ran out of the kitchen he passed by Lord Rodchenko, but he was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to care that the man had probably heard everything.

He needed some time to cool down, straighten out his thoughts. He'd basically made his feelings known now, despite his best efforts, so he needed to think things through in a less stressful environment.

He needed to go home.

He zipped out of the manor and down the main road, wondering if Shin would be following him, half hoping that he was.

He reached his house quickly and walked inside, heading for his bedroom out of habit.

It was silent, his father was still at work and his mother was probably out shopping, so there were no sounds to distract him as he sat down on his bed, intent on brooding until he could contemplate no longer. Instead he ended up falling asleep.

He woke up several hours later feeling rather out of sorts and he ran a hand through his hair tiredly, somehow feeling more exhausted now than he had before.

"I should go back to the manor. Seijuro deserves a better explanation than the one I gave him, although Suzuna's probably told him everything by now." He stood up and stretched his arms over his head before trying to pat away the wrinkles that had developed on his clothing.

His eyes slowly started moving around his room, landing on an envelope on his bedside table.

'Oh right, Hiruma sent me a letter.' He picked it up and ripped the envelope open, lazily scanning the contents before pausing and re-reading it more thoroughly, eyes going wide.

"Fuck."