When Fangirls Attack
Disclaimer: We do not own Inuyasha, or any of the animes or mangas that will appear in this fic. We also do not own Monty Python, but we do own a copy of the movie! And "Gothic Beauty" is actually a magazine, but no we do not have a subscription. You can get them at Hot Topic. However, we do own all the girls in this chapter. They are our original creations.
ps. 'bishie' is short for 'bishounen,' which means good-looking effeminate guy. Anime is full of 'em.
The Gathering Storm
The blonde girl sighed, stretched out on the window seat. Morosely she stared out at the falling rain, one hand dangling limply over the edge of the faded rose cushion. The other was cupped under her chin, fingers carefully extended to avoid smearing her freshly applied acid green nail polish. "Romeo, Romeo," she mumbled to herself, "Wherefore art thou Romeo?"
Her poetic mood was broken by the sound of her friend's clinical, business-like tone. "You do realize that Juliet's lament 'wherefore' in fact means 'why' in the language of Middle English, which Shakespeare used to write his play. Juliet is sad that he is 'Romeo,' a Montague and her family's enemy, and is asking why this is so. It does not mean 'where are you,' which seems to be the meaning you are implying by staring into the distance as you ask. Also, it makes no sense for you personally to wonder why Romeo is Romeo, and therefore I am forced to conclude that you are succumbing to a typical error of improper quotation by someone who has not actually understood the-"
"Oh my fucking god, Janice, we get the fucking point so shut the fuck up before my ears start bleeding, okay?!" growled Ramona, aka Raven, aka Ray, Darkcrest. She huffily, but delicately to preserve her newly black nails, flipped a page in her Gothic Beauty magazine.
"Watch your language, Ray," Lilith Nyte admonished offhandedly, putting the finishing touches on her own scarlet nails.
"All I'm saying is," Kay West, the blonde, resumed somewhat grumpily, her long cat's tail curling in annoyance, "there are no decent guys around here. Never have been, never will be. All the good guys seem to exist only in stories."
"I don't know about that," Raven said.
"Really?"
"Guys in stories are fucking retards too."
"Language."
"Well, of course imaginary men are better. They are created to be so," Janice Grahame put in reasonably. She brushed a stray wisp of plum-colored hair out of her eyes and continued, "It's not fair to expect real men to hold up to the standards of stories."
"I guess," Kay pouted, "But it's also not fair to expect us to live with the real guys when there are all these perfect guys out there. Just waiting..." she stared out of the window again.
"They're not 'just waiting.' They have lives of their own in their stories," Lilith pointed out.
"Bah. We'd be much better for them than those whiny, sissy, pathetic main character girls they're stuck with," Kay scoffed.
"Amen, sister. 'Course, the kind of guys I like don't have any girls attached."
"That's because you like creepy bad guys, Ray."
"Damn straight," the goth grinned.
"Man, if only we could get those guys and bring 'em here..." mused Kay.
"That doesn't seem like it would be fair to them or their friends and loved ones."
"Ah, stop being such a saint, Lilith. Those guys should get a break from their crappy lives," Raven scoffed.
"Anyway, it's all just pipe dreams..." Kay visually followed the paths of the raindrops that had ended their journey abruptly on the window of Lilith's room.
Silence resumed for a few moments, until the resident prodigy spoke up. "Well," Janice said slowly, "maybe not..."
-.-.-.-.-.-
"Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!" A collector of the dead called out numerous times while people piled dead people on the cart. While the King of Camelot went galloping across the screen with his lackey banging coconuts together, a telephone rang in the backround. They stopped in mid movement when Yuri Calmcacil paused Monty Python and the Holy Grail to pick up the annoying device used to make prank calls.
"Hello?" Yuri asked quietly.
"WHO IS IT?!" Her twin sister Sora asked, or yelled, or....whatever.
"It's Kay!" She called back. "She's talking about a trip!" Sora then walked into the room to listen.
"What?! Different dimensions? That is really ridiculous.....We can't enter books!......Ok fine, we can't enter mangas." Sora raised an amused eyebrow at the conversation her sister was having.
"Why do you want to do it anyway?.......To capture bishes?!!!!! That is it I'm hangi-.....What?......We're going to get DEIDARA??!!!!! KYAAAA!" Yuri hung up and turned to her outgoing twin.
"Pack our things! We're going to Lilith's house," Yuri demanded with a fire in her eyes that was much unlike her quiet self.
"Why should we go? Deidara's not that hot." Sora yawned.
"We can go after Sesshoumaru too." Yuri casually mentioned, stopping her mid-yawn.
They were out of the house in ten minutes.
-.-.-.-.-.-
One week later.
"So how is this thing gonna work?"
"Well, the basic idea relies on probability and Morgenstein's Thought Principle," Janice began, clearly gearing up for a long lecture. "This principle states that if one thinks of something, it exists in some way. Experiments have shown that certain spells can turn these thoughts into reality so long as the thinker, or thinkers if the thought is particularly complex, concentrates. Now, it was shown long ago that thoughts can be stored on paper and other mediums, and can be completely recreated from these mediums as precisely as if a person were actually thinking. This machine," and here she gestured to the large platform resting between five posts in the field where the girls had been working for the past week, "is based on a simpler version of Jakuhl's Creation Module, a device that can create real objects from stored thoughts. In this case, we are creating something incredibly complex; a world. We also need to enter into this world and return with contents of that world. Now this is where probability, conservation of energy and the laws of wormhole formation come into it. By leaving this world for another, we are creating an imbalance of energy in both worlds. When we return that imbalance is naturally corrected, but a new imbalance is brought about by those we wish to bring along. Doing this will induce an energy vacuum in that world, as it seeks to restore lost essential energy, and will cause a disturbance here as well, as the world seeks to deal with the extra energy. Now I've hooked up the machine to reroute the extra energy upon our arrival back into a spell that will deconstruct the world when we exit it, thereby saving some time and energy and solving that problem. Since the world will be deconstructing anyway, the power vacuum there will not matter. The machine, as you know, will handle the power manipulations while the magic circle takes care of the direction. Of course, all this is incredibly risky and it is crucial that we spend no more than 24 hours in each world, and that we all return at the same time. The location of the portal in the world will also be subject to uncertainty, but I can try to set the parameters-"
"Uh, wow, okay, no," Sora interrupted finally, seeing that this tirade wouldn't end anytime soon enough. "I meant, do we all stand on the platform there or what?"
"Good grief, Janice, can you answer anything like a normal person?" Kay sighed good-naturedly. She was too psyched to really mind. Now out of her romantic funk, Kay was back to her usual energetic self. Her ears twitched eagerly. She was rarin' to go and bag some bishies!
"I want to know how we're going to capture them," Yuri put in quietly. "In this world we have our powers and abilities, but will they work in other worlds?"
"A very good question-" Janice began once again, but she soon found herself cut off, this time by Raven. "Don't start! We want to get going sometime before nightfall!" she snapped. "Janice already explained (and Lilith put it into English for us) that our powers will be 'converted' somehow into whatever passes for powers in the world we go to. So, the first story we're going to is Inuyasha. Now in our world, you needs incantations or magic circles to use magic. In Inuyasha, you either have demonic power or spiritual power, and to use it you just have to concentrate. So when we go there, we won't need our spells, for those of us who have them," Raven explained much more concisely than Janice ever would have.
"Cool," Sora said, "but what if the world we go to doesn't have powers? In some stories people can only use their minds and bodies, not their spirits."
"In that case, we will also be devoid of spiritual powers," Lilith finally added her voice to the conversation, "but we will retain our physical strength, which is considerable for most of us, so that should be enough."
Her friends noticed her subdued tone, and Kay was the first to speak up. "What's wrong, Lilith? Still brooding over whether this is 'right' or not?"
The empath hesitated, pretending to adjust the small bag attached to her belt.
"If it makes you feel better," the prodigy spoke up from where she was settling something into a certain spot in the seven-point magic circle inscribed inside the larger five-point one, "these worlds do not actually exist in the way ours does right now. They are being created by us, and will disappear after we leave them. So really, we are not kidnapping anyone or leaving any heartbroken friends behind. These boys are being made by us, for our purposes."
"Ooo, I like the sound of that," Raven grinned wickedly. Kay and Sora laughed and Lilith looked embarrassed.
"Wait," Yuri had a sudden thought, "if we can create things out of nothing anyway, why don't we just make the guys, right here?"
Janice completed her adjustments and turned, standing up in front of the device that would take them on their adventures. The purple-haired genius treated them all to her own, restrained brand of an evil smile, and announced, "Because it's more fun this way."
To which they all, even Lilith, nodded their assent.
"All right," Janice began. "Weapons and mindsets prepared? Then let's begin!" Janice took a handheld device out of her fanny pack and tapped a few buttons. Interlaced loops of metal on top of the five posts started to spin, whirling fast enough to blur into solid spheres. The markings comprising the pentagram began to glow, followed by the septagram, until the air was full of crackling waves of energy. The space on top of the platform began to shimmer, then darken, and finally to resolve into a sphere about 8 feet across. The sphere crackled darkly at the edges, and its night-black depths were constantly streaked with odd-colored electricity.
Janice replaced the device and gestured to the portal. "Shall we?"
"All right!" Kay pumped her fist in the air. She and Sora raced for the portal, their friends close behind.
Next stop: Inuyasha!
Nite: HIYA! :3
Blood Mistress: Behold the first chapter! Bow to its awesomeness!
Both: If you have ideas for how to torture the bishies, please drop us a review! If you don't, review anyway! Flames will be force-fed to the bishies. ):D
Btw, if you've read this chapter before (all one of you) you may notice that we changed the first story from Yu Yu Hakusho to Inuyasha. That's because Nite hasn't actually read Yu Yu Hakusho, so we had plot trouble. But Yu Yu Hakusho shall come later!
Review! Or not. We don't mind :)