I will let you down, I will make you hurt

Chapter 5

The next day passed without interest, I woke and dressed without speaking. In fact I didn't speak all day, staying with my family so if I needed anything I could touch them and use my gift. Jasper kept trying to calm me, but I asked him to stop, I deserved it.

I rang Billy's house in La Push repeatedly throughout the day, he told me Jacob wasn't there but I knew he was and it hurt that he wouldn't speak to me. It was probably for the best as what would I say other than sorry, I knew I loved him and missed him, he was my best friend, but was that enough to get him to come back. What if I could never love him more than that.

"Come on Nessie, where going for ice cream" dad said after the last lesson of the day.

You don't eat ice cream I thought, and he laughed.

"But you do, so how about it? Just the two of us"

I glanced at him, his eyes where pained and his smile was tight, I thought back throughout the day, my whole family where depressed because I was. I was hurting them all in my selfishness.

"Ice-cream sounds great" I said forcing a smile.

Mum travelled home with Rosalie in the car, I begged her to come but she said that me and dad needed quality time, I knew she was lying and was going home to ring Jacob and dad knew it too, but we both kept up the pretence.

The Ice cream parlour was 50's retro and looked odd amongst the stylised shop windows either side.

"Is this what they used to look like old man?" I asked dad at his wince when we walked through the door with its booming jukebox music and neon coloured plastic seats.

"No" he replied "Wouldn't you rather…"

"…no dad I want to eat here" I replied "Now try and blend in… oh triple choc, peanut butter with cream and caramel sauce"

I ran to a table leaving my dad to get the ice-cream, I watched him as the waitress stumbled over her words, batting her eyelashes and pouting her lips. But my dad barely noticed her instead turning round to check I was still there, I made a point of waving at him.

"Hi" said a voice, I turned to the young blonde from chemistry the previous day, and she was looking at me intently as if searching for something.

"Hello" I said giving her a small smile.

"I was wondering if you wanted to join us." She asked her face hopeful.

"Sorry, I'm with someone" I replied, her face dropped but she regained her smile quickly.

"You're on a date!" She exclaimed "I bet it's Laith he seemed completely into you yesterday"

"No" I corrected motioning toward dad who was watching with interest as he approached with the ice-cream "I'm with my older brother"

"That is so cool, I wish I had an older brother, I have a big sister which is great but…anyway, I'm gonna leave you to it then, but I'd really like to get to know you Renesmee" She said walking away quickly as dad returned.

"That's odd" I said, as my dad took his seat "She knew my name"

"Its not that odd, Nessie, we're the focus of many conversations at the moment, and you're occupying many peoples thoughts, everyone in the school knows your name"

"I'm the focus?" I asked confused.

He laughed "I am so very glad you don't have Rosalie's vanity I think I would go mad, but you must realise you are the most beautiful person in the world"

"You have to say that you're my dad" I retorted quietly.

"Everyone in this room is thinking it, if I'd have gotten my way you would be in a nunnery now" He said, laughing again.

I took a mouthful of the ice-cream, pulled my face and reached for a sugar sachet. I could stomach human food and my family preferred me to eat it as I got hungry fast and it was difficult to stop midway through the day to hunt. But compared to blood, food was bland its flavours dulled so if I was eating something sweet it had to be very sweet. Dad laughed as I finished pouring on a third sachet of sugar over my ice-cream, taking a bite now it was sweet enough.

"Want a bite?" I asked offering him my spoon

The journey home was more light hearted, dad was regaling me with stories of mum when she was human, he had me giggling it was difficult to imagine my graceful mum the way he described her.

"How did you know you loved her?" I asked him, thinking of Jacob.

"Alice knew, I saw it in her thoughts, I think I knew from the first time I saw her, this undeniable urge to protect her. It was made worse by the fact that I couldn't see into her mind, she was an enigma too me"

"Do you think there is only one person out there for you?" I asked, knowing the timbre of my voice if not my thoughts betrayed my emotions, he turned to me even as the speedometer hit 95 and took one of my hands in his cold one.

"I do" he answered, honesty showing in his eyes "I waited a century for Bella, no-one else even captured my attention until I met her. But you have been here only six years there is time yet, if in twenty years time you realise that you want to be with Jake you can, in the mean time you don't have to decide anything"

"What if Jacob doesn't come back?"

"He will be back, I'm sure of it"

I nodded, wishing I could be as sure as he was. We pulled up into the drive and dad's grip on the steering wheel tightened his teeth gritted.

"I'm going to kill him" He muttered as he screeched the car to a halt.

"What's wrong" I enquired wishing I had my Dads power, as he jumped out of the car and sped off, I chased after him arriving in the clearing seconds later, the loud crash brought me to a halt and I glanced at the scene ahead of me.

Dad was crouched in front of mum who looked slightly annoyed; Esme was shaking her head as Carlisle his arm around her waist was frowning. Jasper was laughing and Alice was looking unsurprised, Rosalie was tending to Emmett who was surrounded by some broken trees.

"Calm down Edward, we where only playing" Emmett laughed as he brushed the broken bark and leaves from his clothes, he winked at mum "Should we go again"

"You will not fight my wife!" Dad growled, but as he was distracted mum pounced him from behind pinning him to the ground with her teeth at his neck.

Dad looked shocked for a moment then laughed, as she moved her lips over to his ear.

"Got ya" she whispered although we all heard.

I surveyed my family again, Emmett as he scooped Rose into his strong arms, mum and dad laughing together in the centre of the field, Alice and Jazz holding hands and communicating silently and Esme and Carlisle surveying their family with small smiles of happiness.

I ran from the field to my room, leaving my family each wrapped within each other, my ache for Jacob intensified. If he had been here he would be telling me jokes and making gagging noises at the obvious public displays of affection my family where showing each other. I reached for the phone and dialled again.

"Hello" It was Seth who answered this time.

"Hi Seth, it's me is Jake there"

There was an awkward silence and I knew Jake was in the room with him.

"Please Seth; please put him on the phone"

There was a second pause longer than the first, I knew Seth was torn, we were friends but Jake was his alpha, after a couple of seconds he replied.

"Sorry Ness, he's not here" He lied and then hung up.

I rang again but no one answered.