Donna glanced at Jack and murmured something about checking on Jenny. The Doctor unlocked the door, and patted her shoulder gently as she departed.
"I should go too," Jack said, "got to see what they decide about John and Keira. I forgot to remind them that murder wasn't one of the options!"
"Jack." The Doctor was standing very still, watching him.
"Fine." Jack held up his hands. "If Donna's happy the way she is, that's great. And I am too. Really. Have to be, don't I? I mean, I've got a lot to time to learn to live with it."
He stopped suddenly, feeling that same feeling that had haunted him for the last few days...tendrils of shadows across his eyes...a coldness spreading through his body.
"Jack?"
"I'm fine."
"Stop saying that," the Doctor said quietly.
"I will be." He stepped back, feeling the coolness of the wall behind him and tried not to look as though he was leaning against it.
"You haven't...?" the Doctor began, glancing at his coat pocket.
"No! I gave them to you! All of them! Maybe it just needs a while." Or maybe it was too late. What had he done?
"Do you think it was really the Feyad influencing me?" He tried to keep the hope out of his voice. "Because I'm not sure, Doctor. It seems too easy just to blame someone else."
"Jack, sit down before you collapse."
The Doctor knelt in front of him.
"Feyads act on your desires so for you to do what you did, the desire had to be there. You know that. But they twist it. Look at me."
"What?"
"Three humans trapped in the middle of the Time War." The Doctor closed his mouth firmly after saying those words, as if to stop himself from saying anymore.
"The Fayeds didn't do that though..." Jack stopped and started again. "I mean, they did. But not because of you."
"They twist your feelings and emotions until you end up with a sort of tunnel vision. Something you've learned to live with suddenly becomes intolerable. Something you've taught yourself to happily live without becomes something you need above anything else. How three humans survived so long in their midst..." He shook his head and looked at Jack
"How are you feeling?"
"Yeah...surviving." Jack forced himself to sit up and face the Doctor properly.
With any luck.
.......................................................
Next to her, John looked as lost and despondent as she felt. Jenny had not left their side and now as they were joined now by the rest of the Torchwood team, Keira was grateful to the young girl for her support. Something in Jenny seemed as disorientated and uncertain as they were but she had no idea how ask her about it. From what she could understand, Jenny, the Doctor and Donna travelled time and space together and certainly the scans had proved none of them to be entirely human. Keira sighed. Just thinking about it made her feel tired. Was there actually any point to Torchwood when it seemed to take alien beings to come and sort out human errors?
Jenny was talking animatedly to Gwen.
"I wish you could have seen my ship! It was pretty basic to start off with but I messed around with it! By the time I went to Earth for the first time, it could not only detect life forms wherever I went, it could tell me how near human they might be!"
Messed around with it! Keira stared at Jenny wondering how the girl could seem so young and so old at the same time.
"You were looking for humans?" Gwen asked.
"I was looking for my father," Jenny replied, "but I figured that he seemed to spend a lot of his time with humans so it was a good place to start."
"It's strange," John said, "to think of travelling in space and having the choice to go wherever you want. We had no choice at all."
"I didn't really either, in the end," Jenny said, "I thought I could. I thought, if I could control one ship, I could anything in the whole of time and space. Just set out, find my father and along the way, do everything he did. Everywhere I went though, all I learned was how much I didn't know. In the end, staying in one place, even as a hostage, seemed the best way to stay alive until I could find him." She broke off, staring into space for a moment.
"You did very well, from what I heard," Martha said gently.
Jenny seemed to shake herself back to the present and she looked directly at Keira and John.
"At least now, we can start learning," she said slowly.
.....................................
"Dying? I wasn't...I'm not..."
"Let's make sure of that, shall we? Because if anything untoward did happen to you, there's a team of people out there I certainly wouldn't want to face!"
"Untoward!" Jack snorted. "There's been plenty of untoward in my life so far! And a lot more to come!"
As the Doctor scanned him with the screwdriver, he felt a slight warmth creep through the chill.
"So? Will I live to see your 1000th birthday?"
"A fixed point in time and space," the Doctor murmured.
"Yeah. What else was it you called me? Oh yeah, wrong, that was it."
"No one's perfect."
Jack gave a short laugh then looked seriously at the Doctor.
"I asked you once if you knew what I'd look like in a million years. What I meant to ask was...what will the universe look like in a million years?"
"Jack, one day you'll have done so much travelling, you'll know exactly what it's going to look like. Hundreds and hundreds of years travelling and there's just a few constants. One of them is this...there will always be a team. Call them what you like. Maybe they're scattered across the universe. Maybe you only see them once in lifetime...or only in your dreams."
"That's comforting."
The Doctor went on as if he hadn't spoken.
"But there's always someone looking out for you, and someone to look out for and if you're very lucky, they might even be the same person."
..........................................................
Martha was approaching the TARDIS as Jack came out.
"Can I go in?" she asked. "I really want to talk to the Doctor. I keep thinking I should, you know, explain myself or something, for forgetting him."
"And I keep telling you, there's no need," Jack told her, "go on in."
He paused in front of a camera with a clear view of the vault. Mickey and Gwen had taken charge of administering redcon and releasing the prisoners. Even the Weevils had been transported back to their respective gutters. Well, you had to be honourable about these things. None of them had been doing anything that warranted capture so they might as well enjoy some freedom before they did. The mates of the Zinan that Jenny had killed...that would take a bit of sorting out but somehow the prospect didn't faze him as he had to admit it would have days ago.
"So," Ianto had stepped up beside him, "can I say you're looking better?"
"I'm feeling better."
As soon as he said it, he realised it was true. It was like a dark cage had been lifted from around him. The bleakness of the last few weeks was sharper and clearer when he thought about it, whereas at the time, he'd felt so empty it was like there really wasn't any other feeling.
"You're not going to tell me it was just a dose of 'flu then?"
Jack indicated to him to walk and as they made their way back towards the vaults, he said,
"No. But I am going to tell you, and only you, ok?"
Ianto nodded.
"On the Viran ship...you remember my report? I drank a vial of Huon particles. Disgusting stuff. It nearly killed me."
Ianto nodded again, with a small smile.
"No." Jack stopped him. "I mean it, Ianto. It nearly killed me. Really. It's hard to describe what happens when something happens that should kill me. I feel the pain and the damage but at the same time, I feel my body begin to heal itself, sometimes even before I lose consciousness. When I drank those particles, I could literally feel my organs shutting down."
"You never said."
"No. I didn't."
"So that's been affecting you?"
"Not quite." Jack took a breath, struggling to phrase what he wanted to say. "I've been dosing myself with them ever since."
"What?"
"Yeah. Seems that Feyad unlocked a self-destruct button in me somewhere!" He gave a small laugh and stopped when he saw Ianto's expression.
"The irony is that I wasn't doing it because I wanted to die. I was doing it to stay alive."
"I don't understand."
"You do! Think about it, Ianto. Why do you do this job when you know, you of all people, what can happen to you? No aspect of this job is safe! You could go out there tomorrow after something you know nothing about, never knowing if it's got some really foolproof way to kill you before you even get close!"
"Perks are pretty good."
Jack grinned at him. "And...what other job could compare to this, right? The adrenaline! The never knowing what's going to happen. That second when you don't know if you'll come out alive? What do you feel?"
Ianto got it, he could see that.
"Alive," he breathed.
"Yes! Being so close to being mortal again...feeling it...I couldn't get it out of my head. I kept thinking, maybe one more dose...not enough to kill me outright...just enough to destroy whatever it is that makes me immortal. Huon particles are really strong, Ianto, and so is whatever it is that makes me unable to die. I thought that if I diluted one, it might dilute the other, if you get me. I don't know what I was thinking. The Doctor's always said that Huon particles, in the right environment, could be one of strongest forces in the universe and there I was, thinking if I just tweaked them this way and that, I could make them do whatever I wanted...Ianto!"
Ianto had turned away from him but abruptly, he turned back.
"Where are they now? The particles?"
"Gone. The Doctor has them and he'll incorporate them back into the TARDIS. It's the only place they can be completely harmless. Out here, Donna and Jenny are deadly allergic to them."
"And you appear to be addicted to them."
"I was addicted to what I thought they could do for me. I didn't realise it then but every time I looked at that Feyad, she showed me something I can never have and made me think that I could. Deepest desires, remember? She was taunting all of us in one way or another."
"Yeah." Ianto looked at the ground. "Maybe that was why I didn't forget you."
"Lucky for us you didn't. I knew you'd do everything you could to make sure everyone stayed safe."
"Are you still...I mean..."
"I'm still the same," Jack said, "immortal as ever! The Doctor checked me over."
"Bet you enjoyed that." Ianto turned away again.
Jack put a hand on his arm.
"Ianto...if you stay in the room for another while, I'll say something right sooner or later."
For a moment, Ianto didn't move. Then he lifted his head and offered the shadow of a smile.
"We could be waiting quite a while then."
...........................................................................
John stood up and looked at the Doctor.
"We know how it works," he said heavily, "if you want to lock us up, that's fine. We won't fight you. But...all we do ask is that you don't separate us, please."
Martha turned to look at the Doctor who inclined his head slightly.
"Jack said we could decide," She told John and Keira, "and we have. You have two choices. We can set you up here and now with new identities, new lives, whatever. You never worked for Torchwood. You live an ordinary life and we keep an eye on you while you do it."
Keira inhaled sharply.
"And the second?"
"You run Torchwood 4. Moira's gone. You're all that's left. But if that's what you want, you also have to understand that we can't let you walk out of here and do your own thing. You'll stay here, as long as it takes, until we decide you're ready to go and until we find a team for you. A team of people who'll keep you focused on what you're doing and why you're doing it."
There was a long silence. Donna watched as Keira and John looked at each other. Eventually, Keira wiped her eyes.
"Maybe we'll never really be ready or able for anything, Martha. We're not normal...not by a long shot."
"All we're asking is that you reach a stage where you can live with that," the Doctor said.
"Will Moira ever be able to come back?" Keira asked.
"I don't know," the Doctor told her gently, "but Keira, if she does, it has to be her choice, not yours. You can never go looking for her. If you think working for Torchwood again will be all about finding her, then forget it. You need to think about this carefully and you also need to remember that if Moira ever does come back, you have to be ready and you'll have to be very, very strong."
"I know," Keira said, her voice trembling slightly. She turned to John.
"We'll always be Torchwood 4, won't we?"
He took her hand and held it tightly then turned to Martha and the Doctor.
"Thank you," he said quietly, "I give you my word; we'll help you all we can while we're here. If there's anything we can to help you get back to normal, we'll do it."
"Careful what you say!" Jack was walking towards them, Ianto at his side. "There's still plenty of Weevils waiting for a lift home! Not to mention paperwork. Has anyone done anything even vaguely resembling paperwork in the last few days?"
"That's out of the ordinary?" Gwen asked.
Ignoring her, Jack turned on two screens next to him.
"We have to get back to work, no excuses! Plenty of us here to get through it all now! Torchwood 4 working alongside us. Never thought I'd see the day! Now, what have we got here?" He leaned over the screen, Ianto staring over his shoulder.
"Very strange weather patterns in the south," he murmured, "look at it! Is that a tornado?"
"No, can't be. It's like a freak storm...no, it's fading now. Over there, look. That's definitely not normal. Martha, how is this funny?"
"It's not," Martha said hastily, and Donna turned her face away to hide her own smile.
"It's just...good to have you back."
Jack gave her a wink.
"Damn right it is! There'll be no more television cameras, I'll tell you that for a start!" He beckoned over to the screen.
"So what now?" Donna asked Jenny and the Doctor, "Do you want to drop me home for a while and continue your touring?"
"Oh I don't know," the Doctor said slowly, "you can visit home certainly! But first I think you might have some touring for Jenny to do! You know, the bigger picture? Shops, popular culture, streets and houses and..."
"Strange weather patterns?"
"Wasn't even thinking about that!"
Donna turned to Jenny. "There's somewhere I'd like the Doctor to take us to show you, Jenny. I'd like you to see what my granddad just saw. Earth from the stars. That's a bigger picture that some humans spend a lifetime trying to imagine. I know you can see it anytime you like but..."
"No, I'd love to," Jenny said. She looked up at the Doctor. "Is that ok?"
The question seemed to darken something in the Doctor's face, Donna noticed. Jenny was still asking, all the time and in every way she could, if her presence with them was acceptable.
"'Course it is," Donna whispered, "And he knows he can study the weather from there. What's the betting he spends the whole time reporting back to Jack?"
The Doctor took one of Jenny's hands.
"Snap your fingers at the TARDIS door," he said casually to her.
"What?"
"Go on. Just give it a try."
Jenny held out her hand and snapped her fingers smartly. Behind his back, Donna watched as the Doctor did the same.
Slowly, the door creaked open.
"It worked! It opened for me!" Jenny whispered, staring at her hand.
"Exactly," the Doctor replied gently.
As she ran ahead, Donna whispered to the Doctor, "what if she tries that on her own? You can't be behind her every time she tries to open that door?"
"Don't have to. It'll open for her soon enough."
"What?"
"Bit of tweaking."
"You never tweaked it for me!"
"Couldn't take the chance. You might try piloting it again."
"There was an earthquake on Jupiter. It messed up my landing. No way was that my fault! You were supposed to be finding us a spot for a good landing!"
"Next time I'll find somewhere good for a really soft landing, I promise. A giant pillow or a padded cell. Better still, a padded planet!"
"Or your head maybe? You know I can land better than you can if I put my mind to it!"
"Better than me? Is that a dare?"
Slowly, and not altogether steadily, the TARDIS vanished from sight.