A/N So my friend is harassing me, which is doing great things for my productivity, as you can see! Here is my next chapter, which I hope you all enjoy. Reviews are always appreciated. And jenl314, I definitely took your advice into consideration, although I had to change it a tiny bit! Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed so far, and here's chapter six.

Chapter 6

James Potter was brooding. The day before the holidays had been quite depressing for him, though the Marauders had done their best to keep his spirits up. Eventually, though, he had retreated to the Head's Dormitory in order to avoid Remus' pitying looks and Sirius' renditions of Jingle Bell Rock. He really didn't think he'd ever be able to enjoy the song again. Unfortunately, the Head's Dorms offered no respite as Lily Evans was packing for the holidays. Her door had been closed when he walked in, though he could hear the muffled sound of Christmas Carols playing in her room. He stood outside her door for a moment, trying to think of something to say. With a soft groan, he rested his forehead against the heavy wood. Lily Evans was driving him crazy. He was being mean to her, and he knew it. It was just that every time he got close to her, he couldn't focus. It was unnerving and quite unsettling: the smooth, suave James Potter with nothing to say. He snorted. Smooth and suave indeed. Nowadays, all he heard was whispers as he walked down the halls. Girls had stopped throwing themselves at his feet. In fact, most people ignored him these days. Even his own friends didn't know what to do with him. He felt sick. He gave a start as he heard Lily's voice begin singing along to the carols.

"I'll be home for Christmas…You can count on me. I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams." The words were like a sucker punch to the gut. The memories of his family overwhelmed him. He could feel his face twisting in agony. Just then the door opened. He almost fell, as he had been using the door for support.

"James?" Lily's voice was confused and more than a little curious. "What are you doing?"

He looked up at her quickly and heard her breath catch.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he said angrily. "Leave me alone."

Her face closed, and he instantly regretted the remark. Stupid stupid stupid. Then she frowned, her eyes looked at him challengingly.

"Well I'm sorry, but if you recall, you were leaning on my door." She shook her head. "I know your parents died James, but I can't understand why you insist on taking it out on everyone else. I can't begin to imagine how horrible it must be for you, but people are trying to help you. You have to let them. Remus, Sirius, and Peter are beside themselves. They all worry, but you blow them off because your pride won't let you accept help. I try to help and how do you reward me? By being rude to me and nasty to Gideon! He hasn't done anything to you."

"Lily," James broke in. "He's not right for you! He's not…"

"He's not what?" Lily was truly furious now. " He's not you? He's not right for me but you are?" She had stepped closer and was now poking him in the chest. He couldn't breathe. Her green eyes were sparkling with fury, pinning him to the spot.

"You're right for me," she repeated again with a small humorless laugh. "You mope about day after day and act all depressed and bitter. Now you're probably going to go mope some more and blame it all on me. You go right ahead; see if I care. Someone needs to show you how ridiculous you're being. I'm sure your parents would have loved to see you like this. Stop acting like a victim and do something."

James was angry now too. Blood pounded in his ears, making a rushing noise.

"Don't ever speak to me about my parents. You can't possibly know what they would have wanted."

He sounded angry, Lily noted, but his eyes were so lost that she felt herself softening.

"I know they wouldn't have wanted you to mope and brood and give up all your friendships. It's Christmas James. Go find Sirius and Remus and Peter and enjoy yourself. Try it." She laughed ruefully. "You have so much anger over this, but it's time to move on."

James was struck in the heart. He couldn't breathe and his head whirled.

"It's hard."

Lily looked at him and felt her heart break a little. He seemed so young. Though his face was that of a seventeen-year-old, the expression in his hazel eyes was like a little boy looking for direction and the reassurance that everything would be ok. She had always had a compulsion to help people; it was what had drawn her to Snape. But his bitter rejection had made her more cautious. But seeing James stand there, posture so defeated, Lily couldn't help herself. She pulled James into a hug.

At first he was frozen; she could feel his muscles, tense under her hands. She rested her forehead against his chest. The wool of his sweater was rough but warm. After a moment, he slowly began to relax. His arms came up tentatively to hold her in a loose embrace. He sighed and gently rested his head on top of hers. His warmth engulfed her and she could feel it radiating off her scalp. It seemed familiar, she just couldn't place it. After a moment's thought, she pulled back slightly. Instantly, his arms loosened even more. Taking a slight step back, she looked up at him. His hazel eyes looked at her warily. Peering at him confusedly, she spoke.

. "You were the one who helped me by the lake! But why didn't you…" she trailed off. James looked away and flushed red. She could feel the muscles in his back tense beneath her hands. Lily suddenly understood, and her face heated up. But secretly, she was touched that he cared enough to help her, but not make her seem helpless. Taking one hand from his back, she reached up and touched his cheek. He slowly looked back at her.

"Thank you."

He nodded, still radiating heat. They stood there. Suddenly, she reached up and kissed his cheek. Moments later, she pulled out of his embrace and was gone. Paralyzed, James remained staring at the spot she had stood only seconds before. A few moments later, he came out of his stupor. He touched his cheek. It was still burning.

*&*

On the train ride home, Lily locked herself in the Head's Compartment. She didn't want to see anyone. Her friends had been pounding on the door for the past ten minutes, but she wouldn't let them in. Gideon was expecting her to come sit with him, but she just couldn't; she had too much to think about. She turned her head and rested it against the cool glass. Outside, the day was gray, a sure sign of an approaching storm. The wind whipped the trees and snow flew, harshly tossed from the branches. All in all, the weather seemed to mirror Lily's internal turmoil.

Now that she knew that James Potter had been her savior in the Forbidden Forest, she didn't know how to feel. She flushed again remembering the awkward meeting and small kiss, then cursed herself for caring so much. She had a boyfriend. But then, why couldn't she forget James? Lily let out a choked noise and laid her head in her hands. James Potter had been so different this year and she couldn't stop noticing. Originally, it had been all the brooding. It had confused her, although Lily now knew the reason. She wasn't sure she would ever understand why he had picked her to tell, although she was fairly sure she had simply been in the wrong, or right, place at the time.

But it was more than that. He paid attention in class this year, and his work was brilliant. He was brilliant, Lily was forced to admit. She had never worked so hard as she did this year, and if she was honest with herself, it was because he was driving her to new levels. He forced her to be better. Then, there was the whole savior thing. He had found her, at what was possibly her weakest moment, and he had simply helped her. The old James would have made a production out of helping a "damsel in distress." The new James didn't even want his name to be mentioned in connection with the deed. Sure he was snippy, but every time she saw him, she couldn't seem to bring herself to care. She lost her head around him, and it terrified her. Attempting to calm herself, she let images of Gideon flow through her mind. It repressed the fear, but brought out new anxieties and something that felt distinctly like guilt.

"I like Gideon," she whispered to herself. "I don't like James. I don't."

And she resolved that from now on she wouldn't. She would control herself and no one would ever have to know. Standing up suddenly, she left to find Gideon, slamming the door rather harder than was strictly necessary.

*&*

Back in the castle, James was still brooding, though he had now moved his pity party to his bedroom. Lying on his side, James stared out the window and watched the snow fall. It twisted and spun, floating gracefully through the inky night sky. Illuminated against the softly lit windows of the castle, it was almost mesmerizing. James lay there and watched, completely engrossed. Which was why a sudden knock on the door caused him to start violently and smack his head on the headboard.

"Ow!"

There was a laugh from outside the door.

"Open the bloody door Prongs. We're alone in the castle and we have things to do!"

"Bloody hell, Padfoot." James flung the door open and looked at his friend in disgust. "And thanks but no thanks. I don't swing that way."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow and burst out laughing.

"Well, Moony will be pleased. He sent me to find you, believing that we would have to do some sort of rescue mission on James Potter's spirits. Fortunately, here you are making jokes, and you haven't even had spirits." Sirius took a step closer and sniffed theatrically. "At least, I hope you haven't had spirits without me. You wouldn't…would you? Abandon your own best friend to go off alone and-"

James rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

Sirius grinned and cuffed him on the shoulder. James punched him back. Wincing dramatically, Sirius headed out the door.

"Come on, we have a long night ahead of us."

They headed out the portrait hole and turned towards Gryffindor tower. The hallway was dim and drafty. In fact, with the absence of the regular traffic, Hogwarts felt entirely deserted. As they walked down the corridor James stared straight ahead, still brooding slightly. Lighten up. Lily had essentially told him to lighten up. It was striking, he thought, that the one girl he had always accused of being a stuck-up, swotty prefect was now telling him to have some fun. He shuddered slightly. When had his opinion of his mental state gotten so far off the mark?

"So Jamsie," Sirius' voice broke the silence. "Are you going to grace us with your presence in the tower, or are you going to be a wanker and stay all by yourself in that big, lonely tower? It must be lonely without Lily now…she's gone home for the holidays, right?

James nodded.

"So, what sorts of things do you get up to in that tower? Such a nice, cozy space, perfect

for two people…" James punched him. Shooting Sirius a death glare, he replied, "Nothing, so you can just put your perverted mind off the subject forever. Lily and I have not been doing anything and we never will. I don't like her, remember?"

Sirius shot him a look.

"Honestly? Look me in the eye and honestly say that you do not like her."

"She has a boyfriend anyway. Remember Gideon? Seventh year Ravenclaw?"

Sirius let it go, although he did file away the fact that James had avoided the question. Moony would probably go all professor-ish and analyse it. Sirius just wanted to remember that fact to give James hell about it later. Because, in truth, he had not noticed that Lily and Gideon were dating. But James had. He laughed to himself. Poor wanker.

Back in the tower, Remus and Peter were each lying on their own beds when Sirius burst in, followed by James.

"Look who I found, moping about in his cold, lonely tower. May I introduce you to…James Potter!"

Remus laughed and held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Remus."

James glared. Peter looked confused.

"Wait, don't we know him. Why are we…what's going on?"

Sirius shook his head. And James allowed a smile to flit over his face.

"Some things never change, eh Petey?" he said, making an effort to be social. This was harder than he had originally thought. In fact, he wanted nothing more than to be back in his tower alone. But thoughts of the tower meant thoughts of Lily. And thoughts of Lily meant remembering what she had said to him. And remembering that, he resolved to make an effort. If not for himself that at least for…well…for his parents, he decided. Lily didn't need him and he certainly didn't need her. He was James Potter. He smirked as a shadow of his former arrogance crept back into his mind. He heard Remus and Sirius discussing a new prank. Instantly, his mind was teeming with ideas. James Potter was back.

"I've an idea," he broke in. Sirius and Remus stared at him.

"What?"

"Well," began Remus, "it's just that…"

"What he's trying to say," Sirius broke in impatiently, "Is that you've been a wanker for the past, oh I don't know, five months? It's a little surprising to hear you speak. But please, do continue." He widened his eyes at James, innocently.

"Anyways, I was thinking, that we should spread some Christmas cheer. Some people certainly could use it."

"How so?" asked Remus slowly.

"The other day, I heard Filch being rather shirty with some first years. Poor chap's a regular Scrooge. I think he needs some help to…find his Christmas spirit."

"Who's Scrooge?" asked Peter just as Sirius said, "But not the really alcoholic ones. Can you imagine Filch drunk?" He shuddered. "Horrible, horrible." James glared at him.

"Enough with the spirits. And I'm not explaining Scrooge. Go look it up. What I was trying to say is that I think Filch would make a rather dashing Santa Clause, don't you think? And that stupid cat of his looks rather like a reindeer…"

Remus had an evil grin on his face, one that most teachers would be surprised to see gracing his features. He was the quiet one after all.

"Perfect. Let's do it."

Unfortunately, after five attempts, four shouting matches, which deteriorated into three fistfights, two new dents in the walls, and one fall down the stairs, the boys realized that they no longer all fit under the cloak.

"Damn," said Sirius, now sprawled in an armchair. Remus lay on the couch.

"We'll just have to split up. I think that James and Sirius should do this one."

"No, no," said Sirius, "We all need to go. Tradition, you know."

Remus rolled his eyes. "What tradition?"

"The new tradition that starts right now. Satisfied?"

"Oh yes," Remus said dryly. "Eminently."

"How about I go as a dog, Peter goes as a rat, and you and James go under the cloak? We do need your expertise, after all."

"That's actually not a bad plan. Odd. Have you been drinking spirits?"

Sirius glared. "Ha. Ha. Ha, Moony. Very funny."

"I thought so."

"Let's go guys," said Peter, apprehensively. He hated fights.

"Rightio," said Sirius, easily distracted. "Roger, wilco and out." He transformed and padded out the portrait hole.

"It's the spirits," Remus whispered, knowing full well that Sirius' dog-ears could hear him. He was rewarded with a huff and the portrait slamming shut. He grinned.

"Shall we," he said, holding out the cloak. James grinned rather maniacally.

"We shall."

*&*

That night, James and company made sure to go down for dinner. As they entered the Great Hall, Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, but his eyes twinkled. The four Marauders headed for spots in the middle of the table, facing the door. As they sat down, James noticed the Christmas decorations. There were enormous Christmas trees decorated in every style imaginable. The candles now floated in enchanted baubles that looked like snowflakes. The ceiling raged and stormed, mimicking the blizzard outside.

On the table were huge turkeys and hams. Vegetables were piled high, alongside large bowls of potatoes and gravy. Everyone was conversing and the Hall rang with laughter. James sat quietly in his seat and soaked it all up. He had noticed people watching him when he had come in, but they were all distracted now. He could hear Professor McGonagall listening to Professor Kettleburn give a long speech about his days observing flobberworms when he was just out of Hogwarts. In fact, when the jingling bells announcing the dinnertime entertainment became noticeable, he could have sworn she looked distinctly relieved. Sirius, meanwhile, was bouncing in his seat. James kicked him under the table. Professor McGonagall glared at them and they smiled back innocently. By now, the jingles were loud enough that everyone was craning their necks to find where the disturbance was coming from. Just then, Finch waddled into the Great Hall in all his finery.

His greasy, matted hair had been turned snow white, making his bald spot more prominent. A large, curly beard sprouted from his face and ended somewhere around his waist. He was clad in a bright red, velvet suit with white, furry cuffs at his wrists and ankles. His boots were black and highly polished. Around his neck sat a shining collar of bells, which rang jauntily as he waddled under his newly added hundred pounds. The recently acquired muffin top bulged out from over his waistband. He was clearly furious, although his mouth had been charmed into a permanent smile. He was attempting to speak and gesturing wildly at his mouth. Everyone at the table was in hysterics now, with the exception of the teachers. However, even they could not entirely conceal their mirth. For every time Filch attempted to bellow some sort of epithet, he would instead sing out a booming holiday greeting. His favorites seemed to be: "Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas"; "Fudge and candy canes"; "Sugary snowflakes and snowmen, this is looking like a Merry Christmas"; and "Don't be naughty, be nice like me." He was nearly apoplectic with rage, although the ruddy cheeks only enhanced his jolly look.

The hysterics seemed to be calming down when his cat walked in. She was dyed the color brown and…decorated with Christmas tidings. A red sweater warmed her front half, while a pair of nice, furry reindeer horns sat perched upon her head. Her nose was glowing a cherry red, and her feet resembled hooves more than paws. Her harness was decorated with jingle bells, and behind her she pulled a sled loaded with presents. She pulled the sleigh along the tables, giving packages to students. James and Sirius received the most. And to top it all off, Filch was forced to say "Merry Christmas" while the students unwrapped every item that had ever been confiscated from them.

"Quite admirable of you Argus," said Dumbledore as he removed the speaking spell. "I am, of course, delighted that you have, er, decided to join the festivities…" He trailed off as Filch glared at him. Dumbledore held up a cylindrical object. "Cracker?" Looking slightly mollified, Filch stormed forward, fat jiggling, to retrieve the cracker. He pulled it and it exploded with a puff of purple smoke and a large band. When the smoke cleared, Filch was left holding a jaunty, red Santa hat. His face turned purple. Letting out a choked snarl of rage, she stormed from the room. His cat followed, jingling with every step. As soon as the door slammed behind him, the Hall rang with shouts of laughter. Dumbledore looked with pride at the laughing James and Sirius who were doubled over, eyes streaming. Then he turned to Professor McGonagall.

"Would you pass the potatoes, Minerva? Professor Flitwick has informed me that they are quite delicious. The house elves must have done a little something extra…possibly some garlic?"

Professor McGonagall looked incredulously at the Headmaster. "You're going to let them get away with it?"

"Well," Dumbledore looked around, eyes twinkling. "It was rather amusing, don't you agree?" Her stony look told him exactly what she thought. In that case…he changed tactics.

"Alas, poor Argus was in such a state, I'm afraid he never named any of the perpetrators. Therefore, I am afraid that I have no leads to go on and as such, no one to punish. It does appear to be a mystery…" With that, he picked up the potatoes and proceeded to spoon them onto his plate, looking very serene indeed.

*&*

Back in the tower, Sirius fell on the floor, still laughing.

"That was…the best prank…ever."

James nodded, smirking as he lay on his bed.

"The look on Filch's face…" he trailed off dreamily. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Well, what else shall we do to commemorate the first evening of the Christmas holiday?"

"I have some idea," said Sirius. Rolling over, he reached up and tapped what appeared to be a bureau with his wand. It opened to reveal hoards of chocolate along with…assorted drinks. Sirius handed around the bottles.

"Cheers."

The boys drank to their heart's content. However, it was Remus who stopped them before anyone could get really drunk.

"It's Christmas tomorrow," he said. Sirius pouted. "Wouldn't you rather not have a hangover on Christmas? Presents and candy, you know." Sirius instantly brightened up.

"Damn right! Presents! Let's go to sleep now, maybe Christmas will come faster."

He vanished his bottle and dove into bed, pulling the covers up over his head. Remus and Peter followed suit.

"You coming?" asked Remus.

"In a minute," replied James. "Where's my wand?"

Remus held it up for James to take. Wordlessly, he watched as James cast silencing charms on his curtains. His eyes narrowed slightly, but James steadfastly avoided looking at him. Remus opened his mouth, but then closed it again. James climbed silently into his bed and pulled the hangings shut, leaving Remus staring worriedly.

*&*

At her house, Lily Evans sat in her bedroom. Her parents had picked her up at the station and driven her home. Petunia had been noticeably absent. When Lily had enquired about her whereabouts, she was informed that Petunia was wedding planning with friends.

"Wedding planning?" Lily had asked. "Who's getting married?"

Her parents exchanged looks.

"Well," began her mother, "Petunia is."

"What?"

"She was supposed to tell you months ago; you're a bridesmaid."

"Vernon?"

There was a pause.

"Yes."

Lily forced a smile.

"Great."

She leaned forward to peer out the window. Outside, she thought she saw someone walking down the street. The snow whipped past the streetlights, causing the shadows to flicker and dance. As the shapes shifted before her eyes, Lily shook her head. Just the snow. She heard the door slam as Petunia arrived home. She sighed. Her parents had been furious when they found out that Petunia had never told Lily about the wedding.

In a sudden movement, Lily stood up out of her chair and went to her closet. In a crate in the corner was her record collection. Pulling out a few disks, she held them close to her face so she could read them. Stupid snow bells, she thought. Sighing, she picked up her favorite collection of Christmas carols. Placing the arm in the groove, she lay back on her rug. She listened to the melodies floating softly through the air and tried to ignore the sounds that were her parents and Petunia fighting. Again.

*&*

On Christmas morning, Lily woke at the crack of dawn. Getting up, she quickly pulled on a thick, fluffy dressing gown. Her feet, already in socks, she shoved into slippers. Then, she crept downstairs. By the first light of dawn, Lily couldn't even make out the dark shape of the tree. Nervously, she felt her way across the room. Stupid snow bells, she thought, not for the first time. She curled up in an armchair by the tree and settled in to wait. Four hours later that was how her family found her: sitting in the armchair.

"Merry Christmas," said her mother, coming over to give her a hug. Her dad was right behind. Petunia came down the stairs about five minutes later, after much fussing in the bathroom. She was already dressed, her hair pulled back. Lily rolled her eyes internally. Honestly.

"Oh good, Petunia, you're here," their mom said. "Why don't you go first?" She handed petunia a small, thin package that turned out to be a necklace. Then it was Lily's turn. She received a thin, gold bracelet, with intricate designs etched into it.

"It's beautiful," Lily said, touched. "Thank you!"

An hour later, Lily had unwrapped not only the bracelet but also a new Charms book from Alice, candy from Mary, and a scrapbook from Dorcas and Emmeline. Dorcas, as the more artistic of the two had taken the photos, while Emmeline had provided the captions. Lily laughed as the flipped through the book. There were many pictures she had forgotten about from Hogsmeade, sleepovers, train rides, and many other random places including one in the Great Hall. Gideon had given Lily a beautiful green scarf. She put it on, smiling with satisfaction when an owl tapped on the window. Lily's dad opened the window, and it flew in. Petunia screamed and jumped up, sending her presents flying. The owl was frightened by the noise and began flying in circles, stirring up wrapping paper. This all caused Petunia to scream more.

"Shut up!" Lily finally yelled. Petunia froze. The wrapping paper floated to the ground, and the bird calmed down. Flying over to Lily, it perched on her leg, glaring reproachfully at Petunia. Lily slowly untied a small box from the owl's leg, after which it promptly took off. On its way out, it cuffed Petunia round the head causing her to shriek indignantly. With a cry of "freak" she gathered up her presents and stormed off to her room.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Lily," her mother chided. Lily just looked at her. Her mother smirked back. Childishly, Lily stuck her tongue.

"I don't care what you think."

Her mother laughed. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Eggs?"

"All right. Scrambled eggs it is, then. Daniel, come help me."

After her parents had left, Lily turned her attention to the mysterious package. Untying the rough string, the brown paper began to fall away. Inside was a blue box. Lily searched for a card, but found none. Frowning slightly, she lifted the lid. Nestled in the box was the prettiest necklace she had ever seen. It was a black cord with a pendant attached. The pendant was a small globule of clear glass with a small, colored butterfly preserved inside. The butterfly's wings were beautiful and delicate, and a small tag on the back assured her that the butterfly had not been killed, merely found. Pulling the cord over her head, she tucked the pendant inside her shirt. She wasn't sure why she was hiding it, it just seemed right. Taking a moment to puzzle over the gift, she eventually gave up and headed to her room to put her gifts away.

That night, Lily and her family sat by the fireplace, where a fire was crackling merrily. She had managed to rope not only her parents, but Petunia too into playing cards. As the fire snapped and popped besides her filling the room with heat and light, Lily looked up from her cards and smiled. Comfortable with the Muggle game, Petunia seemed to have ceased hostilities for the night. Her parents were laughing and smiling as they family played cards together. Only after the fire died down to mere embers did they head to bed. It was late, and the sun had well and truly gone down; it was pitch black. Lily grimaced as she stood up from her spot on the rug. She couldn't see very well at all. She waited a moment, hoping her vision would clear, but to no avail. She hugged her parents goodnight and began to follow them towards the stairs. Lily placed her hand on the banister and started up after Petunia; her parents continued into the kitchen. A nightlight flicked on as they walked past.

At the top of the stairs, Lily paused to listen to the wind howling. And…something else. She strained, listening. Nothing. Walking slightly faster, she hurried to her room. She flicked the light on as she changed into her pajamas. Just as she climbed into bed, there was a sharp crack. The house shook slightly. From downstairs, Lily heard pops. Very distinctive pops. Pops like…Apparation. Lily froze, mind numb. As she sat on the edge of her bed, she heard raised voices. She just couldn't make out the words…and then she didn't need to. Downstairs, someone was screaming. Lily grabbed her wand and crept out of her bedroom. She met Petunia standing at the top of the stairs. In the dim light, Lily could barely see masked, hooded men standing in the foyer. Her mom, she thought, was on the floor, panting heavily. Her father appeared to be stationary, probably held or petrified. Lily saw Petunia open her mouth to scream.

"Shut up!" she breathed. Petunia paused and looked at her, then opened her mouth wider.

"They'll kill you," said Lily, her face white and completely numb. Seeing the horror on Lily's face, Petunia closed her mouth. They could hear the men taunting their mother.

"Stupid bitch. Stupid Muggle. Not so high and mighty now." There was a thud that sounded like boots meeting flesh.

"Having fun?"

"Get in a closet and lock the door. Hide! Now!" Lily murmured. Petunia pointed a shaking finger at their mom who was screaming again as they tortured her.

Lily shot Petunia a frantic look. She held up her wand, faintly. Looking terrified, Petunia started backing down the hallway. But just then, the screams quieted. A floorboard creaked. The men looked up the stairs.

Lily ducked just in time as a curse shot past her head. It hit the wall behind her, leaving a black, charred hole. Pointing her wand, Lily yelled,

"Petrificus Totalus!" There was an answering yell, and then all hell broke loose.

Curses of all colors were flying everywhere. Over the shouts, Lily could hear her mom screaming again. She ducked around the corner into the hallway. But the wall didn't hold for long. Soon, there were holes everywhere, and men were coming up the stairs. Realizing that she had the advantage of the Death Eaters being pinned in the stairwell, Lily began ducking out into the stairwell and shooting curses. The number dwindled slowly as the two men who weren't fighting her seemed intent on torturing her parents. Her dad was screaming now. Lily ran down the stairs as fast as she dared in the dim light, eyes still seeing spots from the bright spell lights. At the base of the stairs, she began dueling the two Death Eaters. One broke loose and began reviving the others. Her parents were screaming again. Behind her, she heard the Killing curse and someone fell. Her mom's screams stopped.

"No!" she screamed. She whirled and narrowly avoided being hit by a curse herself. Outside, she could hear more people running up her driveway. Her dad was still screaming. Blinded by the lights and smoke and deafened by the screams, Lily neared the breaking point. A spell hit her from behind and she felt her arm break. She snapped.

"Salvaeri!" she shouted. Instantly, a force rose up inside her. The pain and magic entered her bloodstream and began to make their way quickly towards her arm. It was like trying to squeeze an elephant into a mouse hole. She screamed in agony just as the white light burst from her wand. It swelled and grew, blocking her entire vision, until everything was white. Black dots began to swim at the edges of her vision. Panicked, she shot spells thinking the Death Eaters might be coming. But nothing happened. Her magic was drained. Exhausted, Lily collapsed.

When Lily awoke, she was lying on her back on a hard surface. The first things she saw were the stars. They twinkled and glistened in the freezing night. Her breath frosted in front of her face and she sat up, noticing that she was wrapped in a blanket. She turned, to look at the light behind her. It was her house, and it was burning. Standing up, she winced. She was bruised all over, and her arm still throbbed from where it had been broken. Numbly she walked toward the house where a ring of people was standing. She stopped at a distance from them, in the middle of her driveway. Standing alone wrapped in the blanket, she stared at her house. Someone came up behind her and touched her on the shoulder. She turned to see Professor Dumbledore.

"Lily," he said gently, "I am so sorry for your loss." He held up a tin can. "This is a portkey which will take you back to Hogwarts. Go straight to Madam Pomfrey, she will give you assistance. Do you understand?"

Lily nodded dumbly.

"The password is Fawkes." Lily took the tin can.

"Fawkes." There was the familiar pull behind her navel, and the remnants of her house were whisked away in a whirl of color and sound.

She landed heavily and almost fell. A hand grabbed her arm to steady her. She looked around. She was in the Gryffindor common room. And so was James Potter.

"What are you doing here?" he asked curiously. Lily couldn't speak. He looked at her more closely. She could tell that he noted her disheveled appearance, her torn pajamas, the loose rescue blanket wrapped around her shoulders. He lifted his hand and ran a thumb along her hairline. It came away red.

"You're bleeding." She just stared at the fire. It was almost hypnotic. She was so tired. All she wanted…

"What happened?" His voice was sharper now, insistent. More like the old James, she noted distractedly. She wondered vaguely why she couldn't seem to feel anything. Except tired, that is.

"Did Voldemort…?" He trailed off and the question hung between them for the moment it took to register with Lily. She slowly shook her head.

"Death Eaters," she whispered. Her heart hurt. She took a quick, unsteady breath. "My parents," her voice cracked. James took a step forward and pulled her into a hug. He stood there holding her as she gradually lost control. At some point, she remembered being picked up and moved, but she couldn't tell where. Her eyes were too blurry with blindness and tears. Eventually, nestled into his shoulder, she fell asleep.

*&*

James Potter lay on the couch in the Head's Room holding Lily Evans. She was asleep, finally, though it had taken quite some time. He had been down in the Common Room following yet another nightmare when she had come in. At first, he had been confused when she arrived in the room. But he had quickly realized that she was not herself. Death Eaters…his muscles tensed. In her sleep, Lily twitched slightly. James relaxed again, but his heart was burning. He hated the Death Eaters. And he hated them even more for what they had done to Lily Evans, one of the most innocent people he knew. He heard the clock chime three. He sighed. Sleep deprivation was getting him nowhere, and he needed to be at his best to help Lily tomorrow. Succumbing to his exhaustion, he fell asleep.

The scene started as it always did.

James was standing in a doorway watching. On the couch with their backs to him sat two people. One had messy black hair, the other red. His parents. They were murmuring softly to each other. His mother had her head bowed and appeared to be holding something in her lap. His father sat next to her, head tilted slightly. James couldn't see his face. His mother turned her head, red hair slipping to obscure her face. Reaching up, she kissed his father on the cheek, and then rested her head on his shoulder. He placed his arm around her shoulders and stroked her hair.

In the doorway, James cringed and tried to close his eyes; he knew what was coming. But open or closed, he still saw the same scene.

Blam, there came the sound of a door blowing off its hinges. His parents shot to their feet, facing straight ahead. His father pulled his wand out. Quickly, he turned to face the woman, and in the process, faced James. As he kissed the woman, James felt his face pale. That wasn't his father. The man ran out the doorway in front of the couch, towards the noise. There came a shout.

"Lily, it's him! Take Harry and run!" Then the sounds of fierce dueling. The woman turned and ran, face filled with terror. Up the stairs. James didn't know where to go. There came the fateful words

"Avada Kedavra!" and the sound of a body falling. James turned and ran up the stairs. Had he just died? He didn't know what to think. He heard the sounds of soft crying and frantic shushing coming from a room on his left. He entered to find a nursery. The woman stood framed in the moonlight pouring in from the window. The floor creaked. The woman turned to face the door. Though she was older, it was unmistakably Lily. Her green eyes were filled with terror and a deep loathing. She kissed the forehead of the baby in her arms. Just then a hooded figure appeared in the doorway. James shrank back into his corner.

"Give me the boy."

"Not Harry," Lily half sobbed. "Please not Harry, I'll do anything."

"Then step aside. Step aside girl."

"No! Not Harry. Please, not Harry!"

He pointed his wand. She looked up at him, eyes strangely peaceful.

"I'll do anything," she said calmly.

"Avada Kedavra!" She slumped to the ground, still holding the baby. The hooded figure walked closer. He raised his wand and pointed it at the bundle. Before he cast the curse, he looked into the corner. The horrible, red, cat-like eyes were cold and emotionless. He looked straight at James. The corners of his mouth turned up in a feral smile.

"Avada Kedavra!"

James woke up with a start, drenched in sweat. It took him a moment to place his surroundings. He was lying on the couch in the Head's Room. What was he doing there? He thought back. He remembered dinner, and drinking, and…oh. Shit. Lily. He looked around in a panic. Where was she? He walked over to her door and knocked softly. No answer. He opened the door. He didn't see anything, so he opened it further. Just a neat room. No Lily.

*&*

Huddled in her closet, Lily heard James curse quietly. The guilt nearly overwhelmed her, held at bay only by the embarrassment. She couldn't believe she had done that. She had cried all over him. He probably thought she was such a baby. He had never cried to her. And then she had woken up next to him and…she froze. He was calling her name and he sounded worried.

Damn. Damndamndamndamndamn.

She heard him sigh heavily and the door shut. In the closet, Lily pulled her knees to her chest. She rested her forehead on her knees as the tears ran down her face.

A few hours later, Lily had pretty much stopped crying, except for the occasional tear. She leaned her head against the wall of the closet and let her mind wander. The first thing she thought of was James. He had been so kind to her and she had repaid him by acting the coward and running away. She would never be able to look him in the face again. Gideon would probably come to comfort her and…her stomach heaved at the thought. She had been leading him on. She needed to tell him. Another tear slipped down her face. And Petunia would probably…Peuntia! She shot to her feet. Stopping only in the bathroom to wash her face, she ran all the way to Dumbledore's office. Just as the stone door slid closed, she thought she glimpsed James turning into the corridor. She rested her head against the cool wall and the staircase spiraled upwards.

*&*

Later that night, Lily sat on the couch in the Head's Room staring at the fire. She felt numb and drained. Petunia had been taken to Saint Mungo's to be treated for shock. When Lily walked into her room, Petunia had started screaming. She blamed Lily for not saving their parents.

"Petunia," Lily had pleaded. "There was nothing I could do! I tried, you know I tried."

"Not hard enough," Petunia had replied cruelly. "If you weren't a freak, none of this would have happened! You're no sister of mine. Get out."

Crying, Lily had run out of the room, only to run into Gideon. He had come as fast as he could, he explained. He opened his arms. She hugged him quickly, and then pulled back. He looked confused. She broke up with him. In less than an hour, she had lost her sister and her boyfriend. She walked around outside Saint Mungo's for a little while, but with no where else to go, she soon returned to Hogwarts.

Her friends had been waiting in Gryffindor tower. They dragged her up to the Girl's Dorms to talk. After assuring Lily that they would always be there for her, they had formed a huddle, tears running down all their faces. In the middle, Lily cried too, though she had been unable to feel anything. Claming exhaustion, she had retreated to the Head's Dorms. Fortunately, James hadn't been there. After staring at the fire for hours on end, she dragged herself to bed. After many hours staring out the window, she finally fell asleep.

*&*

Over the next week, her friends went out of their way to cheer her up. They took her on walks, had sleepovers and study parties. They stayed with her almost every moment of the day. But they couldn't always be there at night. As the students arrived back from break, Lily returned to the Head's Dorms, along with James. He stayed out of her way, for the most part. The most she ever saw of him was when he went in and out in the evenings. She mostly stayed in the dorms, doing homework and sleeping. As she didn't sleep well at night, she found herself doing more and more of it during the day.

One day, in the second week of January, James walked into the Head's Dorms to find Lily asleep on the couch. He looked at her and sighed. The bags under her eyes were so dark they were practically purple. A large stack of homework sat on the table where she had been trying to finish it. She had a quill tucked in her hair, which had mostly fallen out of its bun. She face was too pale and she was too skinny. James felt like he was looking at a shadow of Lily Evans. It disconcerted him.

Unable to help himself, he walked quietly over to the couch. He cast a sleeping charm on Lily. Instantly, her frown smoothed out. He conjured a blanket, which he tucked gently around her shoulders. He pulled the quill out of her hair and began to write. As he finished the last parchment, he cast a spell. He watched as the writing slowly changed to mimic Lily's. There. No one would ever know.

The next morning, he awoke to a pounding on his door. He groaned. He had been up several times during the night with nightmares, and had only just fallen asleep. He rolled out of bed, wearing only his pajama pants. He slouched over to the door and opened it.

"What?"

Lily was staring at him, mouth slightly open. He realized he was only wearing pajama pants.

"Come in," he said, flushing. He grabbed a shirt and pulled it on as he sat down on his bed. Lily walked over to stand in front of him.

"What did you do?" she hissed.

"What did I what?" James ran a hand over his face tiredly.

"What did you do? Why was all my homework done although I know I never finished it and why did I sleep through the night last night?"

James' eyes narrowed.

"You don't sleep through the night?"

"That's not important," Lily waved him off. "I want to know, what did you do?" She looked furious. Exhausted, James felt his hold on his temper waver.

"If you must know, I used a sleeping charm on you and then finished your essays. I used a handwriting charm to mimic yours. Satisfied?"

"Now thanks to you," she spat, "I can't possibly turn that in. I'm Head Girl Potter, I can't condone cheating."

"I'm Head Boy and I wrote those essays."

Lily looked furious. She opened her mouth.

"Lily," he cut her off. "They're good essays. I didn't mess them up for you. But you said it yourself, you don't sleep. You don't let people help you either. If I recall, it was you who told me to stop brooding. Now I'm going to do the same for you. You can waste months of your life brooding like I did, or you can snap out of it now. I suggest the latter, by the way."

"I don't care what you think. Just leave me alone!"

Lily stormed out the door. With an aggravated groan, James flopped back on his bed.

That evening, James sat in the Head's Common Room doing work when Lily came in. She walked over to his chair where she stood nervously. She watched him as he wrote furiously on the parchment. His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes narrowed in concentration behind his glasses. His jaw was set and he looked like he needed a shave, as there was slight stubble on his cheeks. Lily felt a swoop in her stomach as he looked up at her that had nothing to do with nerves. She crushed it down and spoke.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for being so nasty to you. I don't know why I was so angry and I, really appreciate what you did for me," she said in a rush. James just looked at her. Finally he sighed.

"I'm sorry for being nasty to you earlier this year."

"So we're even?" Lily asked.

"Friends."

Lily smiled and James grinned back.

"I never thought I'd see the day when I was friends with Lily Evans."

"Except it's going to last this time, yeah?"

"Yeah."

James looked at her eyes, sparkling with happiness and groaned inwardly. Friends. Right.