I have completely forgotten what horrible situation CAME up in the middle of the las chapter, so I now procede to totally and shamelessly invent an excuse for the short chapter:

My dog has a weak bladder, Kraven was trying to eat my shoe, and my lipgloss fell on the computer and I had to make Lucian lick it off, which took months and months, even though lycans have incredibly sticky tongues.

Oh, and didn't you hear? We were on strike!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own underworld, any character, House M,D, or any Victoria's Secretes pajamas. I do own, however a pack of homeopathic sleeping pills which do not help me sleep but do, however, help me write incredible randomness…

And ON WE GOOOOOO!!!

The year, 2009.

The place, somewhere in the middle of the Sahara dessert.

The time, 4:44 pm.

The plotline, the penguins have inherited the earth and only those who have the intelligence to outsmart them have survived, and that means that all of our favourite vamps are dead….Muajaja!!! Nah, just kidding, they're only hiding from the penguins in the dessert, under a dune somewhere.

Everyone was quiet, listening for penguin steps or breathing on the outside of their safety-house, which, oddly enough, was under a dune. The were warming their hands on a fire lit with Kraven's and Lucians hair which was oily enough to be lit easily and a bit of coal that Selene always ket with her since she started watching "Survivorman".

Viktor: See! I told you a safe house in the Sahara would come in handy some day!

Markus: Oh, shut up, you senile old bat, it's the eight time you've said that tonight, and it's only 8!

Erika: Now, now, Mawkus, weave wittle Vicky alone!

Markus: Okay Ewika… I'll try.

Silence…

Kraven: WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT AN OXFORD COMMA!!

I'VE SEEN THOSE ENGLISH DRAMAS TOO-OOOOOOO

THEY'RE CRUEL!!!

Selene: Oh shut the fuck up Kraven!! I'ts the third time today you've spountaneously broken out into song!

Kraven: (Twitching) I can't stand the QUIET!! They are coming, I know…

Michael: Hey! I like that song!
So if there's any other way
To spell the word
It's fine with me, with me

Kraven: Finally someone understand my musical tastes!

Kraven & Michael: Why would you speak to me that way
Especially when I always said that I
Haven't got the words for you
All your diction dripping with disdain
Through the pain
I always tell the truth

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I climbed to Dharamsala too
I did
I met the highest lama
His accent sounded fine
To me, to me

Sonja: No, no, no, stop right there, you must be inventing that last part! What's a lama have do with it all, it's just silliness, really.

Lucian: Yeah, and what the hay is an Oxford comma anyway?

Michael: And wait till you hear the next part, it's a doozy, you sing it Kraven, my voice could never be compared to yours!

Kraven: Aw sucks, Mike! You'r making me blush!

Selene: well why don't you make out with HIM if his voice is so damn pretty… (angry groumbling)

Kraven: EHE-HEM! Mi mi mi mi miiiiii.

Check your handbook,

it's no trick
Take the chapstick,

put it on your lips
Crack a smile,

adjust my tie
Know your boyfriend,

unlike other guys

Sonja: You're right! Its just plain silly…

Lucian: Wait shush! I think I hear something…

Kraven: Oh no! Oh shit, it's them isn't it? It's the killer penguins, aren't they? they're here for me, I know it!!

Lucian: Wait, no it doesn't sound like penguins… it sounds more like a cane, yes! And a limp too, on the right leg, most probably caused by loss of leg muscle due to a mal-diagnosed infarction. It sounds like the leg's wearing tennis shoes, yes, Nicke Shoxs most probably, and, if I am not mistaken, I also smell a huge ego, a maniacal sense of self-destruction, and (sniffing the air) unbelievable hotness.

Michael: Wow, you got all that from the sound of footsteps and smell? You are so cool.

Lucian: That and I the theme from "House, M.D." is playing, so it really can't be anyother guy.

Kraven: LOVE LOVE IS A VERB

LOVE IS A DOING WORD

FEATHERS ON MY BREATH

GENTLE IMPULSION

SHAKES AND MAKES ME LIGHTER

Selene: Oh shit, don't make him sing!

Sonja: Now, see he has to be making that one up.

Michael: No, he isn't really…

Michael & Kraven: WATER IS MY EYE

MOST FAITHFUL MY LOVE

FEATHERS ON MY Brea-…

A loud thump is heard on the door.

House: Would you stop that infernal racket, cuz if you don't I swear I'll hit your vampire-accepted-euphemism-for-testicles with my cane in order to keep you from procreating equally infernal voiced kiddie-vampires.

Kraven: I happen to have a very pretty voice, thank you.

House: yeah, and I'm sure your mum told you you were special too, didn't she? Open this goddamned door, for God's sakes, or whatever you guys belive in, I don't judge.

What will happen next??!!

… I really do not know.