When I woke up, sunlight was streaming in through the window and I had no idea where I was. Claudine walked into the room just then, and I breathed a sigh of relief. The relief lasted for all of two seconds before panic set in.

I turned terrified eyes toward Claudine, "I can't feel them! Why can't I feel them? What happened?"

Claudine came to my side and pulled me into hug, "Sookie they're fine, I promise. I've just magicked the bond, sort of sealed it up, so you could rest."

"Is it permanent?" I could feel the tears threatening to spill over.

"No. It will wear off in a few weeks. It is difficult magic and I just don't have the juice to make it permanent. Maybe grandfather could. Would you like me to ask him?"

"No!" I realized I was shouting and softened my voice. "No Claudine, but thanks for the offer."

"Sook, what happened last night?"

"Give me a minute okay?" I asked, and got up and went to the bathroom.

Claudine's apartment was much like her. Pretty and feminine, with frilly touches everywhere. Her bathroom was a confection of pink in varying shades of rose and raspberry, with touches of vanilla, yet somehow it avoided looking like something out of Barbie's Dream House. I did my "business" and washed my face. I even found an unopened toothbrush in a drawer, so I gratefully brushed away what I was sure was horrible morning breath.

When I came back out, Claudine had a cup of coffee waiting for me. She was sitting cross-legged on the end of the bed, dressed in a pair of blue yoga pants, with a matching top that had a picture of a fat, smiling Buddha on it. Her long, dark hair was up in a pony tail, and her face looked fresh and beautiful. Just seeing her sitting there made me feel better. Fairies.

I thanked her as I took the coffee from her, settled myself back down on the bed, and related the events of the previous night. When I told her about the attack, she burst into tears. She began to apologize over and over for not being there.

"I'm the worst guardian angel ever," she sniffled.

"No you're not! You've saved my life so many times! If it wasn't for you I would have died falling asleep at the wheel! Or, I would have been torn apart in that Were fight in Shreveport. Plus, who else would help me with all my shopping?" I hugged my cousin and fairy godperson. "Besides, Bill was there and he saved me." I said the last with a slight hitch in my voice.

I then told her the rest of what happened. Well, not all the details, but I did tell her about the intensity of what I was feeling.

"The worst part Claudine, is how hurt Eric was. I could feel it. I saw it in his eyes. . ." the tears started flowing as I spoke. "He told me the other day that he remembered everything from our time together when he was cursed, but I don't think I really believed that he felt the same way. I've never seen that kind of pain in anyone's eyes before. He was so hurt and angry and confused. Oh Claudine, he said he wished he'd never remembered it! And that's when I called you." I sobbed.

Claudine just hugged me and stroked my hair while I cried.

"What I don't understand," I continued after a few minutes, determinedly wiping away the tears, "is what was happening with the bond? First, why was I feeling all these things so intensely from Bill? I never felt that when Eric and I bonded in Rhodes. I mean, Eric was ...

[EDITED]

"I don't know Sook. I think it may have something to do with being double bonded, but I need to find out more before I can say for sure. Now I'm really glad I sealed up your bond for a while. Until we figure this out, it's probably a good idea that you can't feel them. I think you just need to avoid them for a bit and have some girl time, with me!"

And with that she took me by the hand and was dragging me from the bed. She drove me back to my house so I could get changed. As it was daylight, I had no fear of walking in and finding Bill or Eric, or both of them, sitting in the living room where I'd left them. I was surprised to see that everything was back where it should be. I was also surprised to find two empty, but rinsed out, bottle of True Blood in the garbage. For the life of me I couldn't figure out which of them would have cleaned up. I couldn't picture either of them engaging in manual labor. The sight of Eric with a broom the night of Mickey's attack was testimony enough.

I went out to my car and surveyed the area. No one would ever suspect what happened there the night before. There wasn't even a trace of blood and no evidence of the violence. In fact, I even found my bag from Walmart still sitting in the back seat of my car. I never got the chance to take it out.

I went to my room and changed into a comfortable pair of jeans and a light sweater. I stole a look in my old room to see if anyone was using the hidey hole, but it was untouched. I grabbed my purse and checked my phone. No messages. I left Amelia a note saying that I was with Claudine, and off we went.

It was nice to get out and clear my head for a while. Nice to try to forget about Bill and Eric for a time and just be a regular girl. Of course, in my world, regular is a relative term. Claudine had insisted on a "make over" so it was off to the salon to get my hair done, and a manicure and pedicure. I have to admit, that ever since Alcide's sister pampered me with this in Jackson, I had developed quite a taste for having nice fingers and toes.

The downside, of course, was that as I was slipping into a blissful state of relaxation, my shields slipped a bit.

Hmph. That Stackhouse girl. Her grandmother would turn in her grave to see what she's become. Running around with vampires and who know what else.

I wonder if I could ask her if sex with a vampire is all that I hear it is.

I don't know what he ever saw in her. She's just a waitress! She probably has some low rent tricks she can perform or something.

That last caused my head to snap up and I saw Selah Pumphrey staring at me in the reflection of a mirror as she was having her hair set. I was a bit confused at first since I thought Bill told me she had moved away, but then I remembered that her mother still lived in the area.

I felt my blissful mood start to slip away, and I started to throw my shields back up. However, I decided not to let her destroy the good mood I was determined to maintain. So I threw on my fake smile, grinned at her like a loon, and went back to concentrating on the wonderful foot massage I was getting.

By the time Claudine and I left, my hair was a shining mass of curls, my fingernails and toes were a screaming shade of red that was a great match for my costume, and I felt a little bit of bounce return to my step. As long as I kept my mind off of Bill and Eric, I was fine. However, I found myself constantly trying to check the bond to see how they were, only to be brought up short by a locked door, and I got nowhere. Claudine wasn't sure if I should go to work, but I told her that it would be better for me to keep busy and just be around some regular people for a while.

She dropped me off at home around five, and sped off to the club. Apparently they too were having some sort of Halloween festivities, but I'm not sure I wanted the details of just how a strip club was going to be using costumes.

There was a message from Amelia telling me she and Tray would try to stop by Merlotte's later that night. I made myself a sandwich because I figured I might not get a chance to take a real break and eat anything tonight if the buzz I'd been hearing about the party tonight was any indication.

I was particularly grateful that I was going to work that night. I would be busy and it would help me keep my mind off of Bill and Eric. I really did not know what I was going to do about them. I knew now, without a doubt, that Bill loved me and, I knew that I still loved him as well and, that I did not want to give him up again. I suppose a part of me always loved him. We never really do get over our first love do we?

Then there was the bond. Why was I feeling everything so much more intensely than I did with Eric? Perhaps Claudine was right and it had something to do with the double bond. Or, was it because I'm telepathic? Or, because of what Bill was feeling when the bond was created? I had a hundred questions about it, but every time I thought of an answer, two more questions popped into my head.

Which left Eric. I hadn't even figured out how I felt about Eric when all this happened. Nor, had we discussed the fact that his memories returned. The memories he wishes he never got back. It wasn't until I lay there dying that I realized I loved him, that I would give my life for his. I just wasn't sure which Eric I loved or, if they were the same person. This thought swirled around my head as I finished my sandwich.

And now he wanted nothing to do with me. Which started to make me angry. Why was I willing to give my life for someone who wanted nothing to do with me? Who wouldn't even give me the opportunity to explain? I was a Stackhouse woman for goodness sakes! I was not going to let anyone walk all over me! I lifted my chin a bit, reclaiming my pride in myself.

After cleaning up the kitchen, I went and got ready. The costume was a red and white gingham checked affair, with a faux lace up corset in front, that ended just below the bust. The top of the dress was white with a low cut scoop neck front and puffy sleeves. The skirt had a white petticoat under it which gave it a sexy flounce, and it ended about mid (okay maybe upper) thigh. I finished the outfit with thigh high white stockings, a pair of white mary janes, a red crinoline cape with a hood and, a basket-like purse. I kept my make-up rather simple, except for a deep red lipstick.

I checked myself in the mirror before I left and had a moment of panic. Maybe this is a bit much? I shook my head to clear the doubts, squared my shoulders and decided I was going to show everyone, including myself, that Sookie Stackhouse is not afraid. Not of the FotS. Not of vampires. And certainly not of her own sexuality. Oh my god, where did that just come from?

Before I could change my mind, I grabbed my keys, got in my car and headed to Merlotte's. If I had any doubts about how I looked in the costume, they ended moment I walked into Sam's office to put my purse in the drawer of his desk. He was sitting in his chair, going over some papers, a glass of Coke in his had. He looked up as I walked in and the glass fell from his hand and shattered on the floor.

I felt my lips tug slightly at the corners of my mouth as I fought a smile. "Something wrong?" I asked playfully. Sam's eyes traveled over my body (stopping a bit too long at the girls I might add) but he didn't say a word.

"Sam?" Okay, now he was making me nervous.

"Jesus Sookie. You look . . . you look . . ." OhgodIwantherwantherwanthersobeautifulneedherneedneed. "You look amazing. I have a feeling I'm going to be throwing a few people out of here tonight."

I blushed bright red, both from his compliment and his thoughts. I don't know why Sam came through so much clearer than any of the other two-natured I spent time with. He's a broadcaster, like Amelia I suppose.

"Why thank you Sam!" And I headed out to my tables.

SEE NOTE IN CHAPTER 2