Chapter Eleven
Leah stared up at Dean and she knew. God help her, she was ready to fall right back into the man. When she was with him and he flashed that big sexy smile, stared at her with those gorgeous green eyes, he made her forgot about everything in the world but him. Of course, it would probably be so much easier if it was only his extraordinary beauty that captivated her, or the feel of his powerful body on top of her and inside of her, but it wasn't. It was more than that. So much more. It was his inner strength. His dedication and bravery. And even his insecurities and weaknesses. She loved it all. She loved him.
He felt so right.
Yet deep down she knew that what had just taken place between them wasn't right. It wasn't the same as it had been in the past when she'd believed he loved her. Now, for him at least, this was just about the sex. He was sharing his body with her and nothing more.
Christ, maybe it was all he'd ever shared. Dean's heart was well guarded, so well in fact that he might never surrender it. She'd learned the hard way that nobody outside of his family was allowed to get too close. Was he capable of letting someone in? Of having a deep, everlasting love? Yes, she believed so with all of her heart. The problem was he'd never been given the opportunity to develop and nourish such tender emotions. Therefore if he did come to feel them for someone, he had no idea how to express them.
She had to say goodbye and she had to do it now before she lost sight of reality. She'd been there, done that and had ended up heartbroken. It was time to get away before she fell under his spell once again.
"That was incredible, Dean." she whispered. And it truly had been. Always would be. "But now I..."
It sounded to him as though she was planning to put an end to their night, but as far as he was concerned it was just beginning.
"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" he said, cutting off her words." Let's do it again."
He tried to kiss her, but Leah turned her head to the side and placed her hands on his shoulders. Her sudden aloofness was not what he'd expected. He'd seen the way she'd looked at him. It was the same look he'd seen all those other times they'd been in bed together. He was sure she was still in love with him.
"What's wrong, Leah?"
"Nothing. I just, I have to take a shower and it's late. You should go, Dean." She caught his expression and didn't know why he would be surprised by her request that he leave. Shouldn't he be eager to get away now that he'd gotten what he wanted?
"I thought, you know, that I could stay. It's not like we have to be anywhere tomorrow. You don't have one of those boring ass 9-5 jobs anymore." The uncertainty vanished, replaced with his usual devil-may-care flare as the corner of his mouth tipped up tantalizingly. "Why don't we stay up all night, sleep in, have a late breakfast?"
She glanced away to keep from getting drawn in and pushed gently on his arms. "I can't. I want to get up early tomorrow and take off. I've had enough of this place." Now her eyes snapped back to his. "You know how that goes, don't you, Dean? Being bored with a place?"
Ouch. It was time for him to say something. Problem was, what the hell was he supposed to say? He took a deep breath and hoped he wouldn't make a bigger mess out of things than he had the last time. "Look, Leah, I wasn't bored."
She waited for him to explain, but after a moment of silence she realized he wasn't going to elaborate for her. How unusual for Dean! He truly was a man of few words. At least, important ones. The question now was, did she want to delve into this or not?
Oh, what the hell!
"Okay, Dean, if you say you weren't bored then you weren't bored. Come to think of it, I don't believe you ever used the word bored. I think it was something more like, 'I'm not the type to settle for just one girl.' and 'I can't stay in one place for too long.' That sound about right to you?"
Hearing his words tossed back at him so casually made him grimace. That was exactly what he'd said to her. It had seemed so right back then, to leave and let her get back to a normal life. How the hell could he have thought he was doing what was best for her by hurting her that way?
"Yeah, I may have said something like that." He caught his lower lip between his teeth as he thought about his next words. "I just, I thought that I was doing the right thing."
She laughed bitterly. "Yeah, I'm sure you did. You definitely did the right thing - for you. You needed to be on your own so you left. I get it."
"No!" he shook his head, hating the way this was going already. "No, I was doing it for you." he tried to clarify.
"For me? You ran off to be with other women for me? God, Dean, how sweet of you." Her words, dripping with sarcasm, were proof of how deeply she'd been hurt.
Dean felt his insides knot up. This was not going well. Not at all. And he had no idea how to make her understand. "It wasn't about other women, Leah. Not then and not now. I..." he swallowed hard. Would she even believe him? "I want to...I like being here, with you."
No! No, he was not really doing this to her, was he? "Dean, please. I can't. I can't do this again. I won't. You like being with me, but for how long? Until you get restless again? I told myself last time you weren't the type to stick around and I thought I could handle that, but I can't. I don't want to wait around wondering when you're going to decide you've had enough of me again."
"I won't..." he began.
"You will." Leah shoved hard against his arms as she tried to get out from beneath him. "Look, you need to go, okay? Please just go."
Damn it! Dean knew he couldn't keep pushing. He'd have to take what he could, when he could and know when to hold up. Rolling to the side, he let her go. He watched her walk to the bathroom, mesmerized by the sight of her naked body. She was so damned beautiful. Hell, it was more than that, though. It was who she was as a person. Caring, generous, strong and independent. That's what attracted him to her. That's why he couldn't shake her from his thoughts, from his life, no matter how much he wanted to. He'd just have to keep working on her. Sooner or later, the timing would be right and he'd figure out just what the hell he needed to say to get her to come around.
Leah stopped in the doorway to the bathroom and looked at him. He was lying on his side, watching her. "Goodbye Dean. Take care of yourself."
He sat up and draped his legs over the edge of the bed. "Bye Leah."
Leah closed the door and leaned against it. She was going to miss the man, no question, but as hard as it was she'd done what she'd needed to do - saved what was left of her heart. Dean would be gone by the time she'd finished. She adjusted the water and stepped into the shower. As the hot water ran over her body, she closed her eyes and allowed the tears to fall one more time for Dean Winchester. Hopefully, it would be the last time.
Twenty minutes later, Leah actually felt somewhat refreshed. She wrapped the large bath towel around her body and opened the door, anxious to get packed and on the road. If she never saw the White Mountains again, she'd be one very happy woman.
"It's about time. Your coffee's probably cold."
Leah jumped at the sound of Dean's deep voice. He was sitting at the small table, legs stretched out in front of him, hands folded and resting on his stomach.
"What are you doing here? I thought you left." She went over to the table and stared down at him, wondering what he was up to.
"I did. I went to my room, but Sam's not there. He's probably still at the bar getting his ass beat by Blake. Then I thought maybe you could use some coffee so I went and got some." He picked up one of the cups and held it out to her. "Four sugars and some of that flavored creamer stuff you like." he grinned.
Okay, she couldn't deny the fact that his remembering a little thing like how she took her coffee was flattering, but that didn't mean she would forgive him for still being in her room. "Dean..."
He wiggled the cup. "Come on. Take a couple of sips. Get some caffeine in you. You're gonna need it for the drive. You are planning on leaving tonight, aren't you?"
He knew her well. Too well. Leah took the proffered cup. "Thank you. But you still need to go. I have to get dressed and pack so goodbye. Again."
Dean grabbed the remote off the table and turned on the television. "You go right ahead. I'm just gonna watch a little tv. You won't even know I'm here. Promise." He crossed his heart and held up two fingers in what Leah assumed was his attempt at a boy scout oath. Like he was EVER a boy scout!
She tried not to smile. Okay, if he wanted to hang around he could, but she was leaving and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. "Fine, Dean. We'll do it your way."
Though he tried to remain aloof, his body was fully aware of her every movement as she casually shucked her towel and took her sweet time dressing. He knew she was doing it deliberately, thinking it would be one last reminder of just how much he'd be missing. He smiled at the thought as he watched her move around the room, packing her things and sending the occasional glance his way. Little did she know that he wasn't going to be missing out because he wasn't going anywhere. Actually, it was more like she wasn't going anywhere - without him - but she didn't know that yet. She would soon enough, though.
Once Leah had thrown her things into her duffle bag and double checked the room to be sure she hadn't missed anything, she picked up her room key and went to the door. "Okay, all ready. Sorry, Dean, but you really have to leave now. I'm sure the front desk wouldn't appreciate my leaving a man behind."
Dean grinned and turned off the tv, then opened the door for her. "I can help you with that." He started to reach for her duffle bag, but she picked it up first.
"I'm good. I'm gonna head to the office and check out. Then I plan to stop by the bar and say goodbye to Blake and Sam. I guess I'll see you over there." When Dean failed to move, Leah knew that her attempts to get rid of him were deliberately being ignored.
Brushing past him, she stepped outside and reached into her coat pocket for her keys. She started to walk to her right, but didn't see her truck. She was positive that was the side she'd parked on when they'd returned from the mountains. A quick search to her left showed it wasn't there either.
"Jesus!" she mumbled.
Dean stepped up behind her, concern in his voice. "What's wrong?"
"My truck. It's gone. Someone stole my truck!" she gushed out. She dropped the duffle bag and hurried along the sidewalk, but it wasn't in front of any of the rooms.
Glancing around at the parking spaces, he asked, "You sure you parked it over here? Maybe it's on the other side."
"No, I parked on this side. It was here when I walked back over from the bar a few hours ago. Dean, all my weapons are in it!" She was beginning to panic as the thought of filing a police report sank in. She obviously couldn't tell them about the weapons, but if they found her truck and by some fluke they were still in it, how did she explain that?
"No, your weapon's trunk is in my room. Let's drop your bag off in there and then we'll try and figure out what to do." Dean picked up her duffle bag and started walking toward his room.
Leah hurried to catch up. "What do you mean, it's in your room? Why would it be in..." She latched onto his coat sleeve, forcing him to stop. "What did you do with my truck?"
"Nothing. When the hell would I have had time to do something with your truck, Leah? I've been with you. I don't know where it is, I just know where your weapons are."
He was up to something, she knew it. It was so...so Dean. "I want my truck back and I want it now, Dean. I'm not kidding. You've gone too far this time!"
He pulled his arm free of her grasp and started walking again. "I'm telling you, I don't have your truck. Your weapons are in our room cause Sam wanted to help you out by cleaning your guns for you. You know, since you were wiped out from this trip. He was trying to be nice. You know Sammy. He does shit like that. Go over to the bar and ask him."
"Oh I will! If he's in on this with you, I can get him to break. He's much easier to crack than you."
Dean watched Leah rush ahead, a smug look on his face. She was right, Sam was easier to crack. Unless you promised him a week long, uninterrupted visit with his girlfriend. And having Leah stranded with no choice but to ride with him and Sam was well worth dealing with Amy for one entire week.
TBC