I slept until three o'clock the next afternoon. We were up until the dawn and, Eric was true to his word. He ...

[EDITED]

SEE NOTE IN CHAPTER 2

I forced myself out of bed and, for a moment, was surprised that I wasn't sore. Then it occurred to me that Bill's blood was probably keeping me a bit healthier and, helping me heal quicker. With that thought, I felt a pang of guilt over Bill.

I had not spoken to him since the other night and, just now, I had no idea what I'd say to him either. In fact, I realized that I had no idea what I was going to do about either of them.

Last night had been a revelation of sorts. Until now I'd always assumed the happiness and contentment I felt around Eric was from the bond, that my feelings for him were not really my own. I was wrong. With the bond shut down as it was, last night put a few things in perspective. Eric loved me.

Eric. Not amnesia Eric. No, the real honest-to-goodness thousand year old Viking Eric loved me.

And I loved him.

And I loved Bill.

I was so screwed.

I put my toothbrush down and stared at myself in the mirror, the foam from the toothpaste bubbling around my lips. How the hell did I manage to complicate my life even more?

I went downstairs to make some coffee. While it was brewing I called Claudine. I was in desperate need of some advice.

I went outside to check the mail. Inside I found a letter postmarked from Las Vegas. Uh oh. I opened it with some trepidation (calendar word!) and looked inside. Oh my! Finally, the check for my services from Rhodes! There was also a note from de Castro apologizing for the tardiness of the money, thanking me again for my rescue and noting that a bonus had been added. And what a bonus it was! I let out a sigh of relief that it wasn't a summons. Relief that I wouldn't have to worry about taxes or insurance this year. Relief that I would have some, scratch that, quite a bit, sitting in my savings account.

By the time I finished breakfast, Claudine was pulling into the driveway. After she came in, I fixed us both some iced tea and we went to sit in the living room. I filled her in on the fact that I was in love with two vampires and that I was at a complete loss as to what to do about it.

"Sook, when you called today I was just getting ready to come see you anyway. Remember how I said I would check into all those questions about your bond? I did."

The look on her face told me I wasn't going to like what she had to say.

"Tell me Claudine."

She took a deep breath and said, "it seems like what you felt the other night is pretty much how it's going to be now. This is why vampires rarely bond and, apparently, there are some pretty strong admonitions about causing a double bond. In fact, it seems like the first bonded would be within his or her rights to kill the one who dared to double bond their human."

I recalled what Eric said to Bill that night. I don't think I realized just how close I came to losing Bill right then.

"Go on." I told Claudine.

"Apparently, what happened with Eric is one of the reasons it practically forbidden. In a normal blood bond you feel each other's emotions, sometimes more strongly than other times, particularly if there is proximity. However, when there is a double bond it sort of opens a floodgate. It tears off any filters that existed between those who are bonded. I can't . . . I can't begin to imagine what Eric was feeling that night."

I was stunned. "Is it permanent?"

"Not necessarily. If one of them is at a great distance and, the emotional component of the relationship is no longer there, the bond will weaken. The bond itself is permanent, but what you'll feel, the bleed through, that will weaken, probably to the point of a regular bond."

"Regardless of who I'm with the other will feel it? Or, regardless of what I'm feeling they're both gonna feel it completely? And if I want it to stop, I have to send one of them away and not have feelings for them anymore?"

"Yes."

"Ah hell." My head was reeling. This was too much. She might as well have told me I could fly to the moon.

"I think I'm about to learn what everyone around me always feels like." I took a sip of my iced tea and let the thoughts roll about for a minute. Then I thought of something.

"Wait, why when I bonded Bill did I feel all of his emotions so completely, but not when I bonded Eric?"

Claudine was thoughtful for a moment then said, "I don't have an exact answer for that, but I have a few ideas. First, when Eric bonded you, and all the times you exchanged blood before that, were the emotions between you strong?"

I thought about that for a moment then replied, "No. The first time I had Eric's blood was in Dallas when he tricked me into sucking a bullet out of his shoulder, then when the maenad confronted us at Mimosa Lake I accidentally bit his hand from the pain, then in Jackson . . ." I blushed a bit at the memory, but it wasn't emotional that time either, it was physical. "Rhodes was after we had already been intimate together, but Eric had no memories at that point and I was with Quinn then."

"That's what I thought. I think what happened with Bill was twofold. First, the double bond. Although everything I know for sure talks about what the vampires feel, I have no doubt it must affect you similarly, if not exactly the same. Second, by at least this last time you had Bill's blood there was a lot of love coming from him, if not before. It is known that the stronger the emotions, the tighter the bond. When you and Eric bonded it was not as emotional. Combine those factors and you had, well a bond bomb!" She looked happy about her little joke.

"Eric said something about suppressing the bond. Can I do that? Will it stop this . . . this bleed-through?"

"I don't know. Suppressing a regular blood bond minimizes what comes through to the other person a little bit. At least so it isn't so overwhelming. For example, if Eric were in great pain and did not suppress the bond, you might very well feel it. But this? With the effects of the double bond? I'm not sure how much good it would do."

"Wow Claudine. I'm a little overwhelmed here. I don't know what to do!"

"I can still ask grandfather if he can break or, permanently cut off, the bond." She suggested.

"No! I appreciate this little break you've given me, but I . . . I sort of like knowing what they're feeling and how close they are. I just don't know what to do now. I can't be with either of them without hurting the other and, frankly, I wouldn't know how to choose just one of them! You're telling me I have to send one of them away, and stop loving them. How am I supposed to pick who? I want them both in my life!"

"So?"

"What do you mean 'so?' Forget for a minute that I'm not sure how I feel about that, we're talking vampires here. They're so possessive! How could I possibly get them to share?"

"I don't know Sook. This isn't really my area of expertise. Amelia or even Claude would be better at this stuff."

As if I could talk to Claude about this stuff! Even if I wasn't mortified at the thought, Claude was too self-involved to care. Plus, I was a (relatively) good girl. I was brought up right and, people who are brought up right just don't do that sort of thing! Do they?

Claudine and I talked a bit more, but she really had no more ideas on the matter. She left and I wandered about the house aimlessly. I wasn't scheduled to work that night and I had no idea what to do with myself. It would be sunset in an hour or so, and I just knew that I'd be getting a visit from one or two vampires. I had to get out of the house. I needed to sort things out before I saw them, either of them, both of them, whatever.

I wandered back into the kitchen and picked up the partially opened mail. An idea came to mind and I called Sam. Within the hour, I was packed and ready for the ten days off that Sam had given me.

I knew there was no way I was going to be able to avoid Bill and Eric while I was home. They were going to keep checking on me or, finding other excuses to cross my path. I also new that with the vampire blood running in my veins, I was going to be even worse at controlling my libido around them. However, with the bond in its current state, I was free to go away for a while without either of them being able to follow me. It would give me the time I needed to really think, without getting distracted by either of them.

By the time the sun set I was walking up to the ticket counter at Shreveport Regional Airport. Just shy of six hours later, I was flagging down a taxi at LAX.