Chapter 18

Leah stared pensively out the passenger window of the Impala, watching the steady rainfall. The outcome of the conversation she and Dean were going to have weighed heavily on her mind. There were things she wanted to ask him, but she planned to hear him out first. She knew there was a strong chance he would actually say very little and that was fine. She knew Dean well enough to know he was never going to pour out his feelings to her. But then, it was what he would say that mattered most. She cared more about the quality of his words, not the quantity.

As she began to run through some possible outcomes of their talk, she noticed a small dog trotting along the side of the road not too far ahead of them. Instantly distracted, Leah watched as it stayed just on the edge, following the white line. Being an animal lover, she hoped it would either stay on it's path or run off into the small field on their right. To be on the safe side, she was about to point it out to Dean, when it suddenly darted out into the street.

"Dean, the dog!" she cried out.

Dean had already seen it and was slowing down when the animal ran in front of them. He still had to hit the brakes hard and cut the wheel sharply to the right to avoid hitting it. With the wet roads the back end of the car fishtailed, putting them into a spin. Dean tried to correct it, but the Impala careened off the road, coming to an abrupt stop several feet out in the field.

"Shit!" Dean swore. He immediately turned to Leah. "Are you okay?" Reaching for her, he yanked her close and did a quick scan of her face and body. "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head. "Is the dog alright? You missed it, didn't you?" she asked, trying to see past him.

"Damn it, Leah, forget the frigging dog! Are you okay?" He was amazed that women always seemed to worry more about animals than themselves.

Spotting the canine making its way down the opposite side of the road, Leah sighed. She looked at Dean. "I'm fine. You?"

"I'm good, thanks for asking." he said gruffly.

Her face flushed as guilt crept in. "I'm sorry, I just, the dog.. I didn't mean..."

The sound of his deep laughter filled the car and she realized he was teasing her. She smacked him lightly on the arm. "Nice. Make me feel bad, why don't you."

"Well you should. I'm more important than a dog, right?"

Smiling sweetly, she shifted closer to him and walked her fingers slowly up his arm. "Of course you are! It's just that the way you saved both us and that little doggie left me flustered. What with your impressive reflexes and strength," She squeezed his bicep. "and awesome driving skills, I wasn't thinking straight. You'll forgive me, won't you, pooh bear?"

Dean gently pushed her away. "Now you're just being a smart ass."

Enjoying the sound of Leah's easy laughter, he grinned and put the car in gear so he could pull back onto the street. With nothing for the tires to grab, however, they spun aimlessly and the car remained locked in the muddy field's grip.

Leah looked out the back window and watched as a steady stream of wet earth flew up into the air. "Dean." He continued to lay on the gas. "Dean! We're stuck. You're just sinking us in deeper."

The engine idled gently as he eased up. "Yeah, I know. I know. Okay, I got this." He stared out at the dark cloudy sky and steadily increasing rain and groaned. "Man, this sucks."

Opening the door, he looked down at the messy field that surrounded them, then tentatively placed one booted foot into the muck. Even with little pressure, it immediately sank a few inches. "Frigging mud!"

"Let me see." Leah crawled over and leaned across his lap so she could look out his door. "Hmmm, yeah that's mud all right. It's some scary stuff, Dean. Maybe I should handle this."

Although he enjoyed sarcasm as much as the next guy, Dean considered hauling her over him and dumping her adorable little ass onto the soggy ground. See how much she liked the mud then. He decided to share that thought with her. "Keep it up. You're gonna find yourself sitting in it."

She looked surprised. "What? It was a harmless suggestion."

"Right. Okay, I'll go see how bad it is. Don't get cute and step on the gas while I'm near the tires."

She gave him a saucy wink. "I wouldn't dream of it!" He rolled his eyes at her so she added, "I'll behave. Just let me know if you need any help, big guy."

"Count on it." With no other choice, Dean climbed out and trudged around the car, surveying the situation. They were buried, no question, but it didn't look like they were in too deep. He should be able to get them out fairly easily.

He went back to the driver's side and motioned for Leah to roll down the window. Once she did, he told her to get ready to give the car a little gas as he pushed from the back. He figured by rocking it forward he should be able to get them out of the small rut they were in.

He put his back to the car, deciding that would allow him the best leverage, then tapped on the trunk as the signal for her to go ahead. After a few minutes with no luck, he quickly turned and faced the car so he could try using his arm strength instead. Giving it all he had, he lunged forward and thought he felt the car give. It was actually his own feet slipping out from beneath him.

Dean felt the cold wet dirt greet his face as he sprawled out on the ground behind the car. He lifted his head and shook it furiously in attempt to clear some of the mud off. Letting a loud, steady stream of curse words fly, he tried to push himself up out of the mire.

Leah glanced in the rearview and panicked when she failed to see Dean behind the car. She immediately cut the engine and jumped out, plodding her way through the messy earth to make sure he was okay.

"Dean! Dean, what happened?" She got to the trunk and saw him on his hands and knees, completely covered in mud and struggling to get to his feet. "Oh God!" She covered her mouth and tried to keep from laughing but it was impossible to stifle it.

Glaring up at her, Dean reached out a hand. "Think you can manage to stop laughing long enough to help me up out of this shit?"

All Leah could do was nod as she went over to him and slipped her hand into his. She felt a rough tug, pulling her off balance and her smile disappeared as she found herself on her own hands and knees beside him.

"Still think this is funny?" he asked, his hand cupping the back of her head and exerting a light pressure.

"You wouldn't dare!" Leah warned, but her tone was a bit panicked.

A flash of perfect white teeth was the last thing she saw before her face went into the mud.

Jerking upright, she sputtered, 'You ass!" Sitting on her knees, she shoved roughly against Dean's chest.

"Women pay a lot of money for mud facials, Little Bit. I gave you one for free." Dean sat down and dragged her onto his lap, laughing as he tried to help her wipe some of the mud from her face.

"Ah, so you think I should thank you, is that it?" she asked, but her mood was light. Laughing and covered in mud, he was too irresistible. She could hardly be angry with him.

"Exactly." he smirked.

"Oh, I'm gonna thank you, don't worry about that, Winchester." she threatened playfully.

Dean continued to help her clean her face and thought about how even something as crazy as this ended up being fun with Leah. He was sitting in the rain in the middle of a muddy field, yet he was enjoying every second of it. But that's how it was with her. She made him feel good. Always had, no matter what, even when they were kids.

Cupping her face, he drew her close and kissed her gently. He felt her arms wrap around his neck as she returned the kiss, little care for the filth that covered them and a warmth spread throughout him. Not the usual fire that ignited when they touched, but a soft heat that was filling him, making him feel comforted, peaceful and safe. And that's when he knew it was time to make things right between them.

When he pulled away, he whispered, "I'm sorry, Leah."

Leaning back within the circle of his arms, she smiled and wiped tenderly at the mud on his cheek. "It's okay. A little dirt never hurt anyone. Think we'll have to skip on the restaurant though."

With a slight shake of his head, he gave a nervous laugh. "Not for the mud. That was fun." He tried again. "I mean, I'm sorry I hurt you when I left."

"Oh." was all she could manage as his sudden apology for the past caught her off guard.

Dean wasn't sure how to take her reaction. Or lack of one. He knew she'd been angry when they'd first seen each other, but after a few days together and all the intimacy they'd shared he hoped she'd be willing to forgive him and start over. He was uncertain of what her silence meant and what the next move should be. Maybe she expected more? Hell he knew he owed her more than some half-assed apology.

Despite his anxiety, all the words were there inside his head. He wanted to share the truth. All of it, starting with why he'd left and why he wanted her back. He wanted to tell her things that he kept buried inside like how he felt about hunting, his life in general and what the future held. But it was the idea of what could happen once he completely opened up that worried him. What if he did let Leah see who he really was? Would she see him as he saw himself? Would she find him lacking in all the areas where he himself knew he fell short? Would she still feel the same way about him?

Dean's jaw clenched as all of his doubts resurfaced. He didn't want to back away from this, from her. Maybe if he could just tell her a few of the things that had driven him to leave, they could find a way to start over. Who the hell knew what could happen from there?

"I, uh, I was messing things up, Leah. David and your job. I just thought," He stopped, wondering if his words were making sense. If he was saying it right.

"You thought what?" she encouraged. Her heart was pounding wildly as she waited to learn why he'd really walked away from what they had.

The truth, he reminded himself. Even if just a small part of it, he had to tell her the truth. "That I'd just keep screwing up and you deserve better than that. Better than me."

His words were heartbreaking. Leah couldn't believe he would feel that way. Tears pooled in her eyes and she tried to blink them away. Did he really think he wasn't good enough for her? For anyone?

She brushed the back of her fingers over his cheek. "Dean, you're a good man. The best man I've ever known."

His face grew taut and she knew how uncomfortable he felt. Admitting what he had, it wasn't an easy thing to do, yet he'd done it. He'd made one hell of a great start at letting her know what was locked up deep inside of him. With time and patience and a lot of love, maybe one day the walls could be broken down completely.

Leah smiled. A little dose of his own technique might be welcome right about now, so she went with keeping things light. "Okay, I suppose I could forgive you for leaving. I mean, you were thinking of me and what you felt was best for my happiness. And that whole thing with David? Forgiven. Besides, if we're being honest here, that wasn't ALL your fault." Her eyes narrowed. "But causing me to lose my job, Dean. I don't know. I may never be able to forgive you for that. You know how much I loved it."

The tightness that had been gripping Dean's chest began to loosen as her words eased his troubled mind. He'd been freaked out about having this type of conversation with her, but Jesus, this woman knew him so well. She didn't expect more than she knew he'd be able to give. After all he'd done, and despite all the pain he'd caused her, she was forgiving him. And on top of that, she was even letting him off easy.

"You may have loved that job, but now you're a hunter. And you're gonna get to hunt with the best - a tall, handsome sexy guy. What more could you ask for?"

Leah beamed. "Right! I get to hunt with Sam!"

"Sam?" With a deep growl, Dean rolled to his side, laying Leah on her back in the mud. He leaned over her, blocking the light rainfall that continued to blanket them. Their eyes locked for the longest moment before he lowered his lips to hers.

As their tongues danced passionately, Dean pressed his body into hers. He wished like hell they weren't lying in the middle of a field because he wanted so much more. He was about to take it anyway when the sudden blast of a horn interrupted them. A man in a large pick up truck was hanging out of his window, waving at them and offering to help.

Dean called out his thanks before pulling Leah to her feet.

"We'll finish this later." he whispered before giving her another quick, hard kiss.

"Finish? We're just getting started." she said with a smile.

TBC