I listened intensely to try to hear what I was waiting for.

My ears were straining so hard that I jumped when Jasper suddenly bellowed through the house.

"It isn't my fault, Edward! I warned her to be cautious. It was an accident, neither of us were trying to push me."

Whatever Edward said back made them both growl, then there was a loud clap, like a rock smashing into another rock.

I felt my mouth fall open, "Are they fighting?"

Alice laughed, "It's okay, Bella, don't be so alarmed. They both have bad tempers, Esme is going to break them up right now."

I shook my head in disbelief, "How can you be so calm?"

She delicately folded her hands together; "Jasper could easily hurt Edward if Edward were a normal vampire. But remember that he is able to see what Jasper's thinking and he can avoid it. An even match. They're fine, really, it's nothing to worry about."

I asked warily, "Edward can't hurt Jasper, can he?"

I didn't like that idea one bit.

A sudden laugh made my head snap towards the door, it was Emmett, who had one arm wrapped around Edward's neck as the smaller man tried to break his way free.

Emmett teased, "He can't do any harm unless he gets his hands on you."

Edward growled irritably, "I'm fine now Emmett, really, you can let go of me!"

The larger guy grinned devilishly, "The one time I was able to catch you and you think I will just let go?"

Alice warned seriously, "Edward bites, Em."

Emmett growled playfully, "Ooh, is that a challenge?"

A sharp female voice echoed down the hall and made my blood run cold. "Emmett, let go of him before you two turn violent."

Rosalie.

Emmett instantly obeyed his mate and unwrapped himself from Edward.

Edward glowered at his brother before stalking into the room, plopping down beside me.

His smile was friendly, though I could see the instant wariness in his eyes. He still wasn't used to being around my blood.

I asked, "Jasper?"

He reported, "Esme took him out for a quick hunt. He wants to talk to you when he gets back, though."

Rosalie glared into the room, "I told him she was a bad idea."

She stalked away and Emmett trailed quickly after her.

I was uncharacteristically hurt by her frostiness. I have been growing used to it, but the bite behind her words this time was deeper then just opposition. It was malicious.

Did she hate me that much?

I curled my knees against my chest and set my chin on them sadly. "I'm trouble for all of you, aren't I?"

Alice hugged me in an iron grip instantly. "Oh, Bella, don't say that!"

I wailed, despaired, as tears began to form in my eyes, "But it's true, isn't it? My being around makes it hard for you all. Edward, even Jasper. I'm hurting Jasper, aren't I?"

I had never realized that it might be difficult for him to be around me. Well, I knew it was challenging, of course. He had explained why to me. But if it was hurting him, straining him more than necessary, than we have a serious problem.

Edward timidly pet my hair. He wouldn't lie to me like Alice would.

"Bella, I can't say it's not inconvenient having you around, but you are no trouble at all. You are the sole thing that makes Jasper happy in life."

I scoffed. Edward ignored it and carried on, "He's been waiting almost two hundred years for you. He's made outstanding improvement ever since he's met you. You're everything but trouble, you are helping him more ways then you realize."

More ways? How was I was helping him at all?

I whispered, "What do you mean?"

Alice gently wiped my watery eyes dry and she smiled affectionately at me.

She answered, "You've given him a compelling reason to stop being angry over the vegetarian diet. You've supplied him with a better friend then he'd let any of us ever be. He loves you Bella. He's never felt much besides hate and pain before, this is a huge deal for him."

I took a second to consider that, nodded slightly.

I loved him too, a lot more than what's probably healthy for me.

I guessed quietly, "He's very upset at himself, isn't he?"

Alice sighed, "Yes, but Esme is talking to him. She's very close to him, he shouldn't feel too terrible when he gets home."

Edward added, "But only you can make him forgive himself."

I gently pulled away from Alice and smiled, "I'll go wait for him upstairs."

They smiled back at me and I climbed back to the third floor, sitting Indian-style on the bed as I patiently awaited his return.

I watched Jasper and Esme pounce through the open window. They both seemed surprised when they saw me.

Jasper asked sadly, "You didn't go home?"

I asked seriously, "Why would I?"

Esme slipped away to give us privacy, and Jasper sat beside me on the bed.

I shrank away from the intensity in his eyes as he leaned in close to me.

He whispered, "I'm so sorry, Bella. I almost hurt you, I almost killed you."

His cold thumb gently traced the fading pink scrape on my neck.

He lowered his head and muttered, heart broken, "I'll understand if you want to go, Bella. I'll leave you alone from now on."

My heart began to race, and I felt my eyes widen.

He wanted me to leave him?

I wailed, "No! How can you even say that, Jasper? Don't you want me?"

That made his head snap back up and he looked at me. "Of course I want you! More than anything."

I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my cheek against his neck. "Then you can have me."

He sighed, and I could feel sparks of something seeping off of him.

It was kind of like anger and hate.

Loathing. Self-loathing.

He muttered darkly, "Bella, you're insane, did you know that?"

I glared at him, he continued, "I don't think you realize how close that was. Much too close. If I had bitten down, Bella… oh, lord..."

He shook his head, closing his eyes as his face contorted with horror.

He whispered, "I'm no good for you. I'm a monster. I'll literally be the death of you."

I frowned, "Don't say things like that. You should have more trust in yourself."

He snorted and I climbed into his lap, about six inches higher then him now, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

I informed him, "I trust you, Jasper."

He glared at me, "Yes, and you trusted me earlier too, and look where that got you!"

I stubbornly lied, "I knew you weren't going to hurt me."

He let his forehead fall against my chest and he secured his arms around my lower back.

He caught me, "No you didn't. I can feel what you feel, remember? I could taste the terror that was flooding off of you. It only fueled that instinct, it made me want your blood that much more."

It was startling to hear him say it so bluntly.

He laughed ruefully, "See, now you finally get it. I'm dangerous."

I set my jaw and lifted his head, making him look at me.

He needed to understand that it was all okay. He needed to know I wasn't afraid of him anymore.

So I took an insane risk to prove it to him.

I lowered myself a little and buried my nose into his hair.

I pressed my throat right against his mouth, resting my chin on his cheek.

His arms tightened painfully around my back, crushing me into him, but I didn't care.

I whispered, "Jasper, you aren't going to hurt me."

He was absolutely still for the longest time, and then he allowed himself to take in one deep breath. A low growl bubbled out of his throat but I beat my fear away with a stick.

He's stronger than he thinks, I have seen it myself.

After a second he whimpered, "Bella, please…"

Immediately, smart enough not to push him too far, I rolled off of his lap to give him some space.

I settled onto the bedside him and observed.

His eyes were dark, and wide with anxiety. His hands clutched his bed sheets hard, and his body was as ridged as stone.

Very, very, slowly he began to relax, taking in another breath before slowly exhaling.

He sounded both severe and tremulous when he spoke, "Don't ever do that again! It's too dangerous. You put too much faith in me."

I insisted, "Every second that I spend with you my life is literally in your hands, and you keep me safe. I think you deserve my undivided faith."

He actually laughed a little bit, fully at ease now. "I suppose that makes sense."

I scooted closer to him; "I can't say I know what I'm doing, Jasper, but I'm trying to make this easier for us. Both of us. You have to trust me though, trust that I won't shove you over the edge anymore."

I'm definitely going to be alert from now on, like he wanted. He can't be strong for himself, so I must be strong enough for both of us.

But I can't so that unless he lets me!

After considering it for a second he smiled and pulled me into his arms. "Fine. I suppose that as long as I have your undivided faith, you should have mine."

I snuggled close to him and felt myself radiating with love for this man, a man much better than I ever deserved.

Jasper laughed playfully and kissed me before announcing, "Yeah, me too."

After he said it, a powerful wave of emotion was sent onto me, making every one of my nerves tingle with the warmest, fuzziest, best feeling in the world.