A/N: Here we are, once again, to observe the limitless insanity brought on by Wrestling Naruto. Remember, Laying the Smackethdown is a community project. That means you (YES YOU!) can help out if you want. A complete collection of all the scenes done are at The Fanfiction Forum, run by Hawk. If you want to help out, head over there and check it out. Link's in my profile.
Todays snippit is brought to you by the letter V. V is many things, such as the first letter in the author of this snippit's penname. Take three guesses on who that is. There are other reasons it is sponsered by the letter V, but... well, read and find out.
Naruto sat in the tree hollow, racking his brains. Sakura was doing nothing but fawning over Sasuke, and she seemed to be counting on him to protect them both if something else happened. Not that he would have done otherwise anyway, but it kinda grated on him to be taken for granted. Well, he'd worry about that later. Right now, he needed to think of a new persona from his tapes to help him out.
The Legend Killer had worked surprisingly well, but Naruto wasn't under any delusions that it wouldn't have been otherwise if Orochimaru had paid the slightest bit of attention to him. Besides, it took a lot to get him worked up enough to assume that persona, no matter how strong it was. So he would need something different for a new attacker.
The Great One and The Rattlesnake would need to be saved for emergencies, and the Deadman? After what happened in wave, with him almost killing Haku, he didn't want to chance the deadman for a while. Maybe Sakura could give him an idea. "Hey, Sakura!" he said quietly to get her attention. She paid no attention to him, her concentration on Sasuke too deep to be broken with just that. "Hey, Sakura!" he said, a bit louder. Still, nothing.
After a few more fruitless tries, his volume steadily increasing each one, Naruto finally got up and waved his hand in front of her face. "Hello?" he asked. "Is anyone in there? Hello!" Sakura started, and looked up.
"Sorry, Naruto." She said. "I'm just really tired right now. What do you…" she trailed off as she looked up at Naruto, who had just gotten the strangest look on his face. He waved her off, giving the universal 'never mind' gesture, and walked off a bit. Sakura shrugged. Naruto, after all, would be Naruto, and after his demonstration of his persona, she didn't really want to change that. But he really was confusing at the moment, wandering around their clearing and muttering 'Hello'.
An hour later, they were attacked. Not by Orochimaru again, thank Kami, but by another trio of genin. Naruto's eyes narrowed as he examined them. There was a boy who was wrapped in bandages, another one who was just plain strange looking, and… 'Yes!" he cried mentally. 'A girl! A hot girl! This'll work!' The three genin approached slowly, testing the area for traps as they went along. But they stopped as Naruto strode confidently out of the hollow wearing a towel.
At the sight, Zaku couldn't help but laugh. "Look!" he snorted to his comrades. "We caught them while he was taking a bath! He's got no equipment, and he doesn't have that many jutsu, so Dosu! Let's get em!" The bandage wrapped gennin and the strange one charged, howling for blood. But Naruto stopped them with a few words.
In a low voice, he said "Hello, Ladies!" In a moment of confusion, the two skidded to a halt, looking at Naruto like he was insane. Naruto shook his head. "Not you two. Her." He nodded at Kin, who turned bright red despite herself. "Now that I have your attention, let me show you what a real man can do!" Slowly, his hands slid downward toward his towel.
The two aggressive sound genin began to chuckle, and it soon turned to full blown laughter. "Zaku, this little bitch thinks that nudity will scare us." The bandaged nin began an exaggerated act of what he thought Naruto was going for. "Oh no! Please don't get naked! Looking at your pathetic body will make my eyes bleed!"
Ignoring them, Naruto continued with his towel. He whipped it off, revealing that he was in fact wearing his boxers, and threw the towel towards the two cackling sound nin. Zaku caught it absentmindedly, and continued his laughter. But a hissing sound from the towel clued him in to the fact that they had a problem. Sure enough, Naruto had turned his towel into a warm, fluffy, active explosive note. The ensuing detonation set the two flying, their heads connecting solidly with trees.
After checking to make sure that they wouldn't be a threat anymore, Naruto looked over at Kin, who was still paralyzed with shock and awe where she stood. "And that's what a real man can do!" he said with a smile. That broke Kin out of her daze, and she looked over at Naruto appreciatively.
"I think we're going to be good friends." The sound kunoichi practically purred.
Still looking on from the hollow, Sakura tried in vain to get her mouth to close. 'But you can't make anything but paper into explosive notes!' she thought. She had no rebuttal, though, when Inner Sakura said 'It looks like no one ever bothered to tell Naruto that.'