Chapter 10: Such Great Heights
A/N: Yea sorry I was working on chapter 11 and I completely forgot that I didn't upload chapter 10. Hope you guys like what I have been writing so far, I have all these idea in my mind that I'm just trying to sort through them. This chapter is just basically what happens after Craig & Ashley see each other. There is no song in this chapter is just basically all dialogue so it was hard to pick a title but as I read what I had written, Such Great Heights felt like the perfect title, like these lyrics of the song are exactly what Ashley is trying to say to Craig, I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to review my stuff.
I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
In our eyes are mirror images and when
We kiss they're perfectly aligned and
I have to speculate that God himself
Did make us into corresponding shapes like
Puzzle pieces from the clay
True, it may seem like a stretch, but
Its thoughts like this that catches my troubled
Head when you're away when
I am missing you to death
When you are out there on the road for
Several weeks of shows and when you scan
The radio, I hope this song will guide you home
They won't see us waving from such great heights,
'Come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'Come down now,' but we'll stay...
I tried my best to leave this all on your Machine
But the persistent beat it sounded
Thin upon listening that frankly will not fly.
You will hear the shrillest highs and lowest lows with
The windows down when this is guiding you home
"What do you want Ashley" says Craig, as he looks down not wanting to show the expression on face
"Well it's nice to see you too, Craig," says Ashley as she walks closer to see the look on his face.
Craig had mixed feelings about seeing her, one side wanted to see, to hold her in his arms, to make love to her, and that for the first time he didn't feel empty, he felt like he was whole, his heart had two side, one was his son and the other was Ashley, it was that little secret that all his friends and family knew but didn't want to acknowledge. But then again he didn't want to see her, he didn't want that rush emotions to consume him like it did when they broke up, he didn't want to think about the day that he lost the love of his life, any time thoughts of Ashley came up, he would always touch the scar over his heart as a reminder of the pain and then would continue on with his day. He then looked up and met her eyes, he always looked at them and had the same thought run through his mind, those eyes were so beautiful that it would make millions go to war. Then he looked down because he knew that she was reading him, Craig always hated the fact that she could always tell how he was feeling, it was an ability that no one else ever had. It was a rush of emotions that almost caused him to fall to his feet, so he moved back to the table and leaned up against it.
"Well excuse me if I don't want to rehash old times. Remember the last time we talked; I had just found you in bed with another man. So please excuse me I have to go back out there I have some autographs to sign," says Craig as he makes his way to the door
Ashley sees that Craig is heading towards the door; all she wants to do is talk to him, to be in his presence for just a couple of minutes. So she walks and puts her back to the door, essentially blocking his way. Craig see this and makes a second attempt towards the door, but he can see that she isn't going to move, that short of hurting her, he is not getting through so he concedes knowing that he could never hurt her physically. So he returned to original position, as his back was turned a smile crept on her face, she knew she would have her chance to talk to him.
"Please Craig, I just want to talk to you for a couple of minute, please?" says Ashley in her sweetest tone
"Yea, lets catch up on old times," says Craig in his most sarcastic tone.
"Damn it Craig, why are trying to make it so hard" Ashley as she starts to head for the door, knowing this was probably a huge mistake.
Craig felt bad, he was hurt but there was no one he would intentionally hurt Ashley. He runs up to the door and lightly grabs her by the arm. He didn't want to admit it but touching her felt good, he hadn't felt her silky smooth skin in over a decade, he remember that he didn't even to have sex with her to have a feeling of euphoria, he just had to hold her in his arms, to know that she was his and he was hers. Then he looked her in the eyes and knew she was feeling the same way, then he snap himself back into reality.
"I'm sorry, I was being a jerk. If you have to say something I'll listen," says Craig as he let go of her arm.
Ashley was just getting over the high of having Craig touching her, she looked into his eyes and she knew where all that pain was coming from. Over the years the memory of that day ran through her mind so many times that it become easier and easier not to think about it, but she automatically knew that he thought it all the time by his expression. She knew that she had to change the subject so they could have a fruitful conversation.
"You were amazing Craig, I heard the entire show. Your voice has definitely matured over the years. And the lyrical contents of your songs were awesome, the way you speak to the crowd, wow!" says Ashley with a huge grin on her face.
Craig knew that she was trying to change the subject and it was good because he didn't really think about it, "yea, thanks. I had a lot of practice over the years, so it gotten easier and easier to play in front of a crowd, but you know me, I still get nervous before every show" says Craig as he returns her smile
"Well you couldn't be able to tell Craig, so what is like to be a huge superstar, with millions of fans around the world" says Ashley
"It still weird after all these years, I mean I'm still the same kid from Toronto, I've seen what this business has done to people, and it's definitely a dark road one could travel. But I've been lucky to have stayed grounded for so long, I have a lot of people who love me" says Craig as he looks at the picture of him and his son on a keychain.
Ashley looks up at him and says "Well that's great Craig, I'm so happy that you haven't changed, that you are the same guy I knew in high school, the same guy that I love" she tries to catch herself but she knew who couldn't take it back, so she just looked down.
Craig closes his eyes not wanting to think about it, but at least that answered one question, whether or not she still loved him. He grinds his teeth and says, "Yea, well thanks. Ashley what is this, what are you trying to do?"
"Craig, I heard what you said on stage about your song. I need to know how you feel. Look I know it's been so long, and I know how much pain I caused you. I just need to know that I'm not alone, that after all these years you still feel the same way. I'm empty without you Craig, I feel like I'm the walking dead, like my heart stopped beating. I know me being here is messing up the life that you had made for yourself, but I need to know so that I could at least have some closure," says Ashley as she lets out a big sigh, like as years of questions, years of doubt has been let out of her
"Damn it Ashley, don't you see this is what you do. All you do is run away, a part of me still feels guilty about what happened in high school, like all the mistakes I've made forced you to be this way, that you don't want to get in too deep, cause if you do then I might hurt you again. That's what you did you ran away to England and didn't come back, that's what you did when you hooked up with Jimmy, and that's what you did when you said no and then cheated on me. It's the same fucking cycle that we always went through. The years haven't faded away for me, I was telling the truth up there, every song I've written about since we broke up was about you, is that what you wanted to hear. Fuck see what you did, you brought up old memories that I didn't want to think about," says Craig with a faint of anger in his voice
"It wasn't your fault Craig, you didn't make me this way, and I allowed this happened. Your right all I did was run, all I did was leave you, all I did was hurt you. Just tell me I'm wrong, that you still don't love me, that your heart and body doesn't ache the way mine does" says Ashley as she looks into his eyes
He tries to pull away, to consume everything that he just heard, but she didn't let him, she grabs him and forces to look into her eyes.
"Why are you doing this Ash, why now? Now when It gets easier to wake up in the morning, now when I don't have to think about what happened every second of every day. My heart is has always been yours, but when I saw in you bed with that other guy I honestly felt like killing myself, just taking a gun and pulling that trigger. Everyday since you been gone I felt dead inside, like my soul is gone. Ashley I felt like half my heart is missing." Says Craig trying to hold back the tears
Ashley sees the pain in his eyes, so she wraps herself around him and places her head against his chest. She felt the definition in his body, it's not like a bodybuilder's body but it's definitely rock hard. She couldn't lie to herself, she was a little excited but she knew that it was not the time to think about that. She felt something within herself that had laid dormant for so long that at first she couldn't describe what it was, it was the beating of her heart, the same one she thought was dead. She felt like everything was okay, like the last 12 years had been a dream, no a nightmare that she had to suffer through, a punishment for all her sins. She didn't believe in the existence of God, but at that moment she thanked God, or whatever higher power was out there for waking her up. She knew that even though she was trying to be there for Craig, she was also doing it for herself, as selfish as it sounded. As she left her own little world, she started to notice that Craig was a little more relaxed than he originally was, like he was starting to let go of the pain that he has held on to for so long. She lifted her head and met his eyes they smiled at each other. Craig saw that Ashley had some hair covering her beautiful face so he moved the hair behind her ear; as he was doing this Ashley felt a shock to her senses. It had been quite for a minute, she decided to ask the question that had been on her lips for quite a while now.
"Do you still love me Craig, I need to know that this isn't all in my head" says Ashley as she looks into his eyes waiting for a response
Craig uses his index finger and brushes it against her soft cheek, and then runs his right hand through his hair. "Look Ash, if you think being her in my arms washing away everything that has happened, it doesn't work that way. Look no matter how good this feels and trust me when I tell you that I never want to let you go, but nothing has changed, the pain still remains"
"I know Craig, but this could the start of something. Craig I love you, you are my heart and my soul. All I want to know, is do you still love me, yes or no?" says Ashley in a stern manner
Craig doesn't want to answer the question, he knows what the answer is, and it has never changed. But he knows what the saying those words would mean and he doesn't know if she has changed to the point where those words would stick and he wouldn't regret saying it. He pulls away trying to clear his head for a second, trying to gather his thoughts, trying to plot his next move but she doesn't let him, she pulls him in deeper and now their noses are touching and he succumbs to his urges and places his lips to hers. At first it's soft like he trying to rediscover every inch of her, then slowly it becomes faster and more passionate, like he is starving for water. They both try to consume every inch of each other; by the time they pull themselves a part, they start grasping for air. Craig just looks into her eyes trying to find a reason not to tell her that he still loves her, that he has always loved her, but Ashley beats him to the punch.
"I knew you still loved me, I felt every inch of it don't you see that without each other we are incomplete" says Ashley as put her arms around his neck
Craig looks down trying to hide how he was feeling, but Ashley lifts up his chin, he looks her in the eyes and says, "Ashley Kerwin, you are the love of my life. I've known that I have loved you since the day I set my eyes on you, it has never changed, even if at first I couldn't expressed how I felt. Those feelings have never left me, but just know that at first it might be hard to jump in the deep end"
"I know but in the end you will return to me, and that little heart of yours will be mine again," says Ashley as she points to Craig's heart.
"Ever the egotistical one Ash, wow you have way to much confidence in yourself," says Craig as he gives her a sly smile.
"No, I just know you. You could say that I know you better than anyone than anyone else on this planet, the same way you know me better than anyone else" says Ashley as she gives him a mischievous smile.
"Whatever Kerwin, you know do that it's been quite a few years since I set my eyes on you" says Craig as he lightly slaps her on her ass
Ashley moans a little, Craig has always known exactly how to touch her in a way that would her the most pleasure, "Please Manning, it doesn't matter how long we've been away from each other because I know that I'm the only person who could look into your eyes and know what you're thinking"
"Well it's been so long, that I wouldn't know how to response to that," responds Craig
"Well let me prove it to you" says Ashley as she tries to move in for another kiss, Craig turns away so her lips meet his cheek, she doesn't know what to think, she is a little hurt by it and she says "what was that about?"
"Look Ash, it's not that I don't want to, it's just that there is a lot of bad memories that I have. I want to, but I'm just not sure, this is happening way too fast, I just need some time to take it all in, you know that it's been so hard to be without you, that I haven't been with had a long lasting relationship in over a decade" says Craig who gives a smile to reassure her
"I understand I just have to prove to you that I have changed, that not that same girl I was back then. I'm ready for this, but if you need to time, I get it," says Ashley
Craig feels that she is being honest; he just smiles and lightly kisses her on the cheek, and begins to speak "I don't know how I'm going to explain all this to my son. At his age he probably wouldn't understand our history and everything that went along with it, I mean he is only 10"
"So he is your son!" responds Ashley
"Do you know him, wait have you been following him?" says Craig shocked by her statement.
"I only met him today, he was walking around near the bathroom, and I thought he was lost, then I saw him jump into your arms and that's when I walked away" says Ashley trying to reassure Craig
"So you're his little friend Ashley, I should've figured. I guess all Mannings gravitate to you, don't they" responses Craig
"What can I say, I guess it's inbreeded in your DNA Craig" says Ashley as she wraps her arms around Craig's neck
"Yea I guess. But I wonder is there a cure for it" says Craig as he gives her a sly smile
"Well there is only one way to cure you," says Ashley as she places her lips on his. Every curve of her lip fits in perfect alignment with his. To Craig and Ashley it's not a just a kiss, it's the reconnection of their souls. They stay in this position for a while, until they are interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Mr. Manning, it's been also 20 minutes the fans are starting to become inpatient" says one of the P.A as she enters the room, "Oh I'm so sorry I didn't know that you have had company"
Craig takes his gaze off of Ashley and says "It's alright, as you could probably tell I just lost track of time. I'll be right out", as she hears this, the P.A goes back outside. "I'm sorry baby, I gotta go do this. But I want to see you tonight, here's my address. After this I gotta a meeting with my manager, then I gonna go have lunch with Sean, Ellie & little Joey. So if you want we can have dinner at my house around if you want?" says Craig as he scribbles his address on a nearby paper.
"Of course Craig, I'll be there," says Ashley as she places her forehead against his.
Craig grabs his jacket and they walk outside holding hands, they feel like their kids again. They part ways and then they kiss and say goodbye. Craig walks towards the stage, Ashley runs up behind him, he turns around just as she jumps into his arms they passionately kiss and she says "I love you so much Craig, and I will never hurt you again". She gets off of him and readjusts her clothes and walks away skipping like she is a schoolgirl. Craig just laughs it off and walks away in the other direction, he sees that the line has built up quite a bit, he feels bad because as happy as he is right now he was neglecting the fans, even though his bandmates had been signing autographs Craig was the one everyone was trying to. As he walks through the crowd, he sees the disappointment of the fans, as he gets to his chair, he notices how angry his bandmates are, so he jumps on his chair and says loudly "I'm so sorry guys, I got held back there for a long time. You know what I'm gonna stay here till every person who wants to get an autograph signed or a picture taken with me gets it, and if one of the P.A could do me the favor of taking every single name down, you'll get tickets to our next show". Everyone starts to clap, and you could hear the groans of the assistants cause there is about 150 guests in attendance. Craig looks over to Sean & Ellie are sitting and mouths "I'm sorry", they laugh.
As he sits back down, Johnny leans over and says, "Dude, are you ok?"
Craig takes a paper one of the fans handed him and responses back 'I'm feeling great, man"
"You do know we have a meeting with Leo, right?" says Johnny
"Whatever man, we can just reschedule it for tomorrow, they're more important things than talking to Leo, like our fans for one" responds back Craig
Johnny just chuckles and says, "When you're right you're right, let's just get through this, huh?"
Ashley walks up to Liberty and has a huge grin on her face. She felt like she was complete. Liberty sees the joy in your eyes and just smiles; it looks like her birthday gift came true.
"You look happy, I'm guessing it went well," says Liberty
"He still loves me Liberty, I could feel it when he held me in his arms" says Ashley as she hooks arms in Liberty's arms
Ashley yanks Liberty with her, and she begins to skip. Liberty stands her ground and says, "What else happened?"
"We kissed Liberty, and first the first time in so many years I felt the beating of my own heart," says Ashley with a giant grin on her face.
Liberty starts to smile; she knew that her planned worked. But a question pops into her head then she says it out loud "then what's next, are you guys together?"
"He is still trying to sort things out, and you could tell that it might take awhile for him to truly trust me again. But Lib I'm gonna do everything to get it, this time I will never let him go, I will prove to him that I'm worth, that I deserve to be in his and his son's life" says Ashley with a hint of conviction in her voice
"So that is his son, what's his name?" asks Liberty
"Yea, his name is Joey, you can tell where he got his name from" says Ashley
"Well it's a fitting tribute. But Ash remember he is just a kid, it's going to be hard for him to let you easily enter his life, remember you are not his mother, and you will never replace her. Speaking of which, were is his mother?" asks Liberty
"Your right I am not his mother, but I want to be there for him, I would never force myself into their lives. I know that if it came down to a choice of whom Craig would pick his son, or me I know which way he would go, that what kind of father I know he is. I'll be there for his son in any capacity that I can. Liberty all I want to do is to be with the love of my life, I know it's selfish but all I want to do is to go home at night and have the man I love, Craig to hold me in his arms and to wake up every morning with him besides me till the day I die. And if it takes an eternity to prove it to him, then that's what I'll do. And to answer your question, I don't really know, I know that they're not together but I don't know where she is, and I don't feel like it's my place to ask" responses Ashley
"I understand, I'm just so happy for you guys, I hope it works out this time." Says Liberty as she hugs Ashley
"Well it starts tonight, he invited me over for dinner. I just everything to be perfect" says Ashley as she looks into her eyes
"Well you better dress for the occasion, right? Come on I'll drop you off at home so that you can get ready for court, it sucks that you have to work on your birthday" says Liberty
"You've done so much for me today, there is no way I could ever repay you" response Ashley
"Hey, I only pushed you in the right direction. You were the one who went through the door," says Liberty as they walk through the door. She can feel that the happiness that Ashley has been missing for so long has finally returned. They reach the car and get in and Liberty turns on the ignition.
Ashley turns to her and says, "You know what it's not that I'm afraid of what his son might say, I'm afraid of what Ellie is going to say. Craig depends on her advice so much that it could go either way, and especially the way things ended last time"
"Well Ash, if you want this happen, if you want to be with Craig you have to risk everything" response Liberty
"I know, I know. I've just got gitters you know. I'm sure by the time I see him tonight all my doubts will be washed away" says Ashley
Back at the club Craig and the band are still signing autographs and taking pictures, all in all it takes a couple of hours to get through everyone. Every now and again he thinks back to what just happened and a huge smile on his face. Joey inpatient about not seeing his father runs over to him and sits on his lap, every in line awes at the father-son moment that they just witnessed. After they get done everyone gets up and moves over to where Ellie and Sean are sitting. Even though Joey had school that day he thought it would be better to have him there so he spend some time with his son. They walk out of the club and go to the nearby dinner. Johnny, Steven, and Janice walk ahead of everyone and enter the dinner and basically takeover the place. Joey who is walking hand in hand with Ellie follows them, and Sean and Craig are trailing them.
Craig stops Sean and says "Look bro, do you mind watching Joey tonight I got some plans, but I really don't want to tell Ellie, I don't know how she'll react, so do you mind?"
Sean gives him a puzzled look and says, "Sure dude, I don't mind but are you going to tell me what's up"
"Of course I will, but not right now I'll tell you everything tomorrow" says Craig as they enter the dinner
Everyone orders and they eat. Of Course Ellie eats the most, which of course the guys make fun of her. Everyone notices how happy Craig is, they don't know what changed his attitude but they don't want it to change. They spend the next couple of hours just chilling. After they pay up, Craig leaves a 150 tip, the waitress looks at him and just grins. The rest of the day goes smoothly, Craig tells Joey that he is going to have a sleepover at Sean & Ellie's house and that Sean would drop them off at home the next day, Joey just shrugged and thought it would fun to hang out with Scotty, he dropped Joey off around 4. His next stop was the market to buy the supplies he needed to make dinner. As soon as he got back he went straight the kitchen and started preparing dinner, the main course was Duck. As the duck was in the oven he took a shower and got ready. Just as he set the table he heard a knock on the door. Before he opened the door, he looked in the mirror to see if he looked good.
He opened the door and looked at his guest and said "Holy shit"