Author's Note: Another tough chapter for me. Decided to post it anyway, but at least I feel I have some direction now on which way to take things. Again, thanks to everyone who continues to follow along and offer feedback on the chapters! It's greatly appreciated!! :)

Chapter Forty

"Mr. Palmer, you can not go back there!"

Marlene DeMarco had been a nurse for nearly twelve years so she wasn't rattled by the young man's aggressive behavior. In fact, over the years she'd seen much, much worse. This was a classic case of fear for a loved ones life, but it could still be controlled with patience and reassuring words. Straightening her spine, she refrained from touching him so as not to send out any combative signals, placed her body solidly between his and the double doors he was trying to get through and used a calm but stern voice.

Dean's fists clenched as he fought to control the overpowering need to take a swing at something. Or more like someone; namely the miserable person who was blocking his way. Though he knew his anger would be better unleashed against the battered cousin of David Manning, it was this middle-aged nurse who was tempting fate at the moment. It would be so easy to lay her out cold; just one strategically placed punch would do it and he'd be on his way to find Leah.

"You don't understand." he said, and was about to explain when she cut him off.

"I do understand. Your girlfriend's been shot and you're worried about her, but you must understand that I can't allow you into the operating room. Take a moment and think about this. You know that you would only be in the doctor's way, distracting him from helping her and I know you don't want that. She's in good hands. Dr. Grandin is an excellent surgeon." She eyed him with concern, noting a bruised area on the left side of his forehead. "Looks to me as if you're in need of some care yourself. Why don't we have someone check that out while you're waiting?"

"I'm fine." he growled, taking a quick step to his left, then another forward in an attempt to get past the nurse. "I just want to go back there. I swear I won't get in the way."

She countered Dean's movements as she held up a hand, signaling to someone behind him. "I'm sure you won't because you're going to have someone take a look at your head. Tell me what happened."

"You already know..." he started to say, then stopped as he caught sight of a husky male attendant easing up beside him with a wheelchair. A quick perusal assured Dean he could take him if necessary so his gaze snapped back to the nurse. "She was shot."

The R.N. nodded. "Yes, that much I know. Now, tell me what happened to you." Feeling comfortable enough now with the male nurse there, she reached out and gingerly touched Dean's left temple. "Your concern for you girlfriend is rightly placed, but she's getting help. Your focus needs to be on yourself at this point because you're clearly injured, too."

With his eyes glued to the small window centered in the door behind the woman, Dean shrugged and told her. "I hit my head." Noticing someone in green scrubs exiting a room in back he lurched forward, hoping the person might have news about Leah. "Someone just came out of the room!"

The large attendant wrapped a beefy hand around Dean's arm and hauled him back, depositing him firmly into the wheelchair. Dean sat with a huff, instinct causing his hand to ball into a fist and shoot out, but the other man caught his wrist before contact could be made.

"We don't want to go there, mister. Not with the shape you're in." the attendant warned with a shake of his bald head.

Tugging his arm out of the man's grasp, Dean scowled up at him. Mr. Clean was damn lucky that his head was pounding too hard to fight or baldy wouldn't stand a chance! What the hell was the guy's problem anyway? And that nurse's? Why wouldn't they just let him go back there so he could be with Leah? He needed to see her, to know she was okay. Christ, they didn't understand! By the time he'd pulled up in front of the E.R. she'd looked so pale and her breathing had been so shallow he'd thought it had stopped. He couldn't lose her. He couldn't. He just couldn't.

Green eyes lifted as he tried to appeal to the female blockade one more time. "I just, she can't...After they took her in back someone came out and told me something about checking the damage from the bullet and cleaning the wound. I need to know more. I need to know that she's okay. Come on, help me out here."

The young man's voice cracked and it tugged at Marlene's heart. She could see the fear and desperation in his eyes, could hear it in his words and she truly wanted to help him but there were rules to follow and for good cause. Of course, that didn't mean she couldn't find another way to try to ease his plight as well as get him in back to be examined.

"I'll tell you what, if you let Vinny take you in back so someone can look at your head, I'll see what I can find out about your girlfriend. Deal?" It was the best she could do, and she hoped he'd realize it was actually a lot considering the overwhelming amount of people in there tonight. She'd be lucky to find a spare moment to check on the girl.

The last thing Dean wanted was to leave that doorway, preferring to stand vigil in case a lapse in guard duty allowed him to slip in and search for Leah, but he supposed her offer would have to do. The rational side of him pushed to accept it because he knew they were only doing their job; he knew he couldn't walk in on her surgery. It was just that there was so much at stake, he didn't want to be god damned rational. He just wanted to see Leah until he was certain she was really okay.

The woman squatted down before him and placed her warm hand over his. "Mr. Palmer, do we have a deal?"

Damn! "Yeah, we have a deal. You know her name, right? Leah Chandler." At her nod, he asked, "And you'll come and find me? Tell me what you find out as soon as you can?"

She smiled and squeezed his hand. "I promise. I'll check on Leah as soon as I can and then I'll find you."

So much for freakin promises! Dean fumed, silently cursing the bitch of a nurse who hadn't come to find him. He hurried back to the busy waiting room after enduring the "simple and quick" MRI that the doctor had ordered. That test had actually killed nearly half an hour. Now he had to find someone who could tell him how Leah was doing.

Scanning the area, he easily spotted the bald headed attendant who'd shoved him into the wheelchair earlier, but the nurse he'd dealt with was nowhere in sight. His jaw set with rigid determination, he moved toward the check-in desk where he planned to get word on Leah's condition, even if it meant raising lots and lots of hell. He was halfway there when he thought he heard someone call his name. Glancing back, he saw Amy rushing towards him; her parents, Sam as well as Blake Kendall all trailing closely behind.

"Oh thank God!" Amy threw her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. "Dean, are you okay?"

His eyes flashed wide at the unexpected contact, but he tempered the urge to immediately disengage himself from the embrace. After only a few seconds, she stepped back and he could see the slight puffiness around her eyes, a telltale sign she'd been crying. Like Leah, it was something Amy rarely did.

"I'm good," he told her, and then fired off the barrage of questions. "You know Leah's in surgery, right? They took her back there then sent me off for some dumb ass test and I haven't heard anything. Have you? What the hell is going on? How is she?"

"We've been here about twenty minutes and they haven't offered up much." Ed said, his voice tight with emotion. As the small group gathered close, he told Dean what they knew, which was very little. "They said that the bullet had broken her shoulder blade and some ribs and they needed to clean out the wound."

Leah's stepmother, Kate, inched forward, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. "What happened, Dean? They won't give us any details. Who, who shot Leah? And why? Why did he shoot her? Who would want to hurt her?"

Staring uncertainly into the anguished woman's damp eyes, Dean rubbed at the back of his neck, then quickly tucked his trembling hand into the front pocket of his jeans. What was it she was really asking? Where was he when Leah was shot? Why hadn't he stopped it from happening, or maybe, why hadn't he taken the bullet for her? Hell, she should ask those questions - they were the very ones he'd been asking himself over and over.

His nerves were wound tight and there was a slow burn coiling inside his stomach; the last thing he wanted to do at the moment was bare his guilt to the equally distraught woman standing before him, but she wanted answers. She deserved answers. However, even though Kate Chandler knew about Amy's empathetic abilities, she lived in denial - choosing to believe her daughter had had psychological issues instead - so she hadn't been told about what Ed and Leah were involved with. Which meant he couldn't tell her the truth and there hadn't been any time for him to come up with a plausible explaination. Not for Kate. Not for the cops. All he'd been able to think about was whether or not Leah would live through this.

Opening his mouth, Dean searched for the words that Kate needed to hear, but he was at a complete loss. Hell, he knew what it was that she really wanted to hear. What she desperately needed to know but wouldn't ask straight out - why had he failed to protect the young woman that she loved? The woman that he loved. And there was no explanation for that.

"We can hear the details later." It was Sam, his hazel eyes burning intensely as he moved to his brother's side. Sam knew what Dean was feeling. Guilt. Anger. Disappointment. And all of it was pointed inward, at himself. No matter the reason, Leah had ended up shot and Dean was taking the blame. With that eating away at him, he might not have even come up with a feasible story. "Right now we just need to..."

"Actually, it might be a good idea to go over the details right now."

All heads turned in unison toward the deep male voice that had interrupted them. The portly police detective, who had unobtrusively joined their group, let his dark gaze drift slowly over each one of them before coming to rest on Dean's tightly drawn features. With a curt nod, he said, "I'd like to have a word with you, if I could. I understand Miss Chandler is still in surgery so I think now would be a good time to get this out of the way."

Other than a slight clenching of his jaw, Dean showed no signs of concern as he agreed. "Sure, but I want to stay close. In case." He turned to Sam, "You let me know if you hear something."

"You know it." Sam assured him. His lips were drawn into a thin line as he eyed his older brother. Dean's calm exterior was a brilliant disguise, hiding the anxiety that Sam knew was churning beneath the surface. It was difficult dealing with the cops on any level, let alone in a situation that involved the two of them as deeply as this one did, but if anyone could get around the law, it was Dean.

TBC