And it IS an on-work kindergarten!

"Leon!"

The blonde looked up to Len from the report he'd been studying with a wrinkled brow. "Yeah, what's the matter?" he asked. The brown-haired man crossed his arms.

"The Count's standing outside and says he wants to see you," he informed the blonde. "And he's got his kid with him."

Leon shot up. "What?!"

Quickly he made his way to the corridor where D was waiting patiently, surrounded by some officers admiring the girl. The kami was smiling his fake business smile and Dana had hidden her head in his shoulder so that no one was able to see her eyes, a fact for which Leon was quite glad. He strode over to them, grabbing D harder than necessary and dragging the kami away, who barely managed to say goodbye to the humans.

"What are you doing here with the kid?" the blonde growled angrily and made sure no one could overhear their conversation. D's fake smile faded and he looked distressed.

"I am, Detective, bringing your daughter over," he snapped.

Leon's eyes narrowed. "And why, if I may ask? 'Cause, you know, this is not a kindergarten, but the precinct."

"I have to go to an old customer of ours. He lives quite far away, and I cannot take Dana with me. The drive takes more than one hour and I will need at least two hours there," the kami replied sharply. "I do have a business to run, Detective."

"And why exactly do you bring her to me then?" He didn't get a reply and sighed. Seemed as if D had set his mind on ignoring Leon's protest. Just great.

"Dana, be a good girl and don't disturb your father while he is working!" D told his daughter earnestly and set her down beside Leon's chair, then straightened again and looked at Leon, who in turn was watching him wearily.

"D, are you sure you can't leave her at the shop? You'll only be gone four hours, and Tetsu and Honlon can look after her," he argued, but D shook his head firmly.

"Honlon is very busy at the moment, and my dear T-chan needs a break as well. One would think that you could look after your daughter for four hours," he chided icily.

Leon gave in, knowing he wouldn't convince D otherwise, and silently thanking his foresight that he had done all questionings yesterday and today only had to write the reports. "But be back in time!" he said grumpily and the kami wrinkled his brow.

"May I remind you that I am always punctual, in contrast to you?"

The blonde waved him away. "Yeah, yeah, get off before I change my mind. And pray the chief doesn't see her around, he was already pretty pissed about last time."

D wisely decided not to answer to that, bent down to kiss Dana good-bye and vanished with a last mean glance at the detective.

The cubicle grew silent for some time, except for the little voice of the girl who was playing with her toys and inventing a story as she did so, talking both in English and Chinese. Leon snatched up some sentences and smiled. Okay, she was cute. He didn't mind her being here as long as she didn't disturb him, but still, the plaza was not a good place for a kid to be…

"Hey Leon!" Jill turned round the corner and set her bag down on her desk, eyes falling on Dana immediately. "What…?"

The blonde shrugged. "D has to go to a customer living out of town and doesn't want to leave Dana alone at the shop. He says because the pets require a break from her, but I think because he's afraid something like last time will happen. So she's here for four hours, then he'll pick her up again."

"Oh. I see." Jill knelt down and smiled at the girl. "Hello Dana. Do you remember me?"

She was rewarded with a bright smile. "Jill fucking nanny!"

Leon snorted out loud and quickly tried to pretend to cough. Jill grimaced. "Well, I guess I brought it upon myself," she said dryly. "Dana, don't tell your Bàbà that I taught you that. It's a very, very bad word, and nice girls like you don't use bad words."

The child looked up at her father questioningly. "She's right, sweetie. Bàbà will be very angry with Jill and me if he hears you say that," the blonde agreed.

Dana smiled brightly. "Won't tell. Swear," she said and Jill sighed.

"Oh Leon, she really is a little sunshine, ain't she? You're so lucky with her!"

Her mournful face told her friend that she would love to have a kid like Dana herself. He shifted uncomfortably. "Jill, don't worry. You'll find someone. You're smart, and you're pretty. There's no reason why you shouldn't find someone," he said and quickly added, "Besides, she's not at all little Miss Sunshine when she wants to have her way. Then she's more like thunder and lightning all at once."

The blonde woman chuckled and got up again. "I bet. Last time was pretty bad. So, what're you doing?"

Leon gestured at his desk. "Writing my reports. Still trying to figure out how Gavin McGallen managed to kill Laura while twenty people swear he was in that Casino losing his money to them. You?"

"Trying to figure out how those drug-dealers got 12 pounds of crack through a police control," she answered.

They exchanged a weak glance and sighed deeply. "You know, I always wanted to be a police officer because I wanted to bust the bad guys so that the world would be a little safer for everyone else. But no one told me I'd spend more time doing paperwork than actually busting someone when I signed into Academy," Leon complained.

Jill grimaced. "Well, too late for that now, honey. At least you get to work outside sometimes. I'm stuck in here with analysing observation protocols. Wanna trade?"

"No, thanks, I'm having fun on my own," the blonde quickly fended it off. Then his gaze fell to the floor and his daughter, busy with her toys. "Hey, you could give them to Dana and see what she does with them," he suggested, grinning. Jill snorted, an amused sparkle in her eyes.

"Yeah, the chief'll love me for it, I'm sure. If she happens to do the same with them as she did with your papers last time, I'm lucky if I survive the following blow-up."

"Daddy, want to paint!" Dana tugged at Leon's t-shirt and he turned to her to give her crayons and paper. Jill switched on her computer and they worked in silence until the phone rang. Leon got the call and jumped up, grabbing his jacket and revolver.

"Yeah, I got it. Thanks. I'll be there in a minute!" he yelled into the receiver and hung up again, turning to Jill.

"Listen, Jill, I've gotta go, I'm sorry. Seems someone felt like avenging Laura's death and shot Gavin. He's not dead, but I have to get to him before he recovers from his shock, perhaps he'll spill something now," he explained rapidly and bent down to Dana. "Sweetie, behave, daddy'll be back soon. Stay with Auntie Jill, okay?"

"But, Leon -" said wanted to protest, but he just hugged her quickly and strode out.

"Thanks so much, Jill! I won't be long, promise!"

The blonde woman stared after him nonplussed. "But, Leon, I've got an interrogation myself in twenty minutes…" she told the spot where Leon had been two seconds before.

"Jill want to play?" Dana asked and offered her the plush cat. She turned to the kid and gestured helplessly.

"No, Dana, thanks, I don't want to play. Geez, Leon, that's just so you! What shall I do with you now, Dana? I can't take you to the interrogation with me…"

"Fuck!" Leon swore and hit the brakes. His car came to a screeching stop. He tipped the steering wheel impatiently and sent another glance at the watch in his fittings. Forty minutes until D would be back to pick their daughter up again. And he wouldn't be pleased at all that Leon had left her alone.

Again the blonde swore fluently, taking his chance at doing so scot-free. If his mission would have had any success, he wouldn't mind. He trusted Jill to look after his daughter, but this whole case was beginning to seriously piss him off. Or better, Gavin McGallen was. The guy was a braggart of the worst kind, a macho and – in Leon's opinion – one of the worst assholes that ever walked earth (even topping D in that, though Leon had originally thought there just could be no greater asshole than D. That had, of course, been before the guy gave birth to his child).

He'd so hoped he might catch Gavin unaware, but when he arrived at the hospital, he was still in attendance, and by the time he came out, his lawyer had arrived. Besides, Gavin had been so shell-shocked by the fact that someone had dared to shoot him that he'd not been able to say one useful thing. He hadn't even been able to tell Leon who his attacker had been, though he'd been shot from a very short distance and must've seen the guy.

In fact, the only delightful event about this had been the fact that Leon had for once seen that son-of-a-bitch without a good repartee on his lips. Though he wasn't supposed to and would probably get an admonition from the chief for it, he was spiteful and had let Gavin feel it. That guy deserved nothing better. Pity the attacker hadn't been able to aim better.

Back at the plaza he jumped out of the car and hurried to the entrance, already counting the minutes down until D's arrival. Thirty-three minutes left. Well, that was still plenty of time. He could sit down, get himself a cup of coffee and look as if he'd never been away from his desk the whole afternoon.

He met Jill in the corridor to their department, showing a ragged-looking, smelling guy out and stopped dead in his tracks. She caught sight of him and left the guy at once, hurrying over to him, starting to talk, but he cut her off.

"Where. Is. Dana?" he asked, voice threatening. She looked apologetic.

"Leon, I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you before you left, but you were gone so quick I had no chance. I had interrogations the whole afternoon." Seeing his brows draw together ominously, she quickly added, "But I made sure someone's looking after Dana. I gave her to Jessica from traffics."

Leon's face lost its tense expression. "Oh. Thanks, Jill. Then I'll just go pick her up."

She smiled. "No problem. I'm done now, too. Guy had nothing new to tell. He's constantly so high he wouldn't notice a blue elephant in front of him." She snorted and fell in beside Leon while he strode down the corridor. "What about Gavin?"

"Still an asshole, but at least this time a speechless one. Let his lawyer do the talking and pretended to be the poor assaulted innocent." Leon, too, snorted disparagingly. "God, I'd bust the guy for being an asshole if I could! Someone like him shouldn't be allowed to walk around without a muzzle!"

Jill chuckled. "Reminds me distantly of someone else with a big mouth," she teased and he glared.

"Hey, at least I don't think I'm godsend!"

"That's true," she admitted and pointed to the woman at the coffee machine. "There's Jessica. But what-"

The woman turned and smiled when she saw them. "Leon, Jill, hey! Jill, that girl you gave me – I had to hand her over to Christian from your department. The chief needed me. Is that bad?" she asked, concerned by the sudden dark look on both of their faces. Leon turned to glare at Jill accusingly, who held out her hands.

"Hey, I'm sorry! This is the plaza, not a kindergarten, you know that. Let's just get her from Christian."

"I'll come with you," Jessica said, looking worried. "Jill, I'm sorry, I didn't know it's so important, else I would've told the chief to wait until you're done."

The blonde woman jerked her thumb in Leon's direction who was already walking back the corridor they'd just come down. "Don't tell me, tell him. She's his."

Jessica gaped and hurried to keep step with them. "Leon, you've got a kid? Really?! Why didn't you tell? She must be, well, about more than a year old! Who's her mum?"

"She's got no mum," the blonde said through gritted teeth and pushed open the doors to their department, striding down the line of cubicles to Christian's place. Jessica looked at Jill confused, but she just shrugged and hurried after Leon.

Stepping inside Christian's cubicle, the blonde noticed two things at once. First, that Dana wasn't here, and second, that Christian was busy talking into the receiver, a big crease on his forehead. "No, don't do that. I told you that's not what you should do. Damn, Leah, can't you just for once listen to me?! How am I supposed to help you if you never listen – Honey, wait a second. Leon! What's the matter?"

"Where is Dana?" the blonde gritted and barely refrained from grabbing his colleague at his collar. He looked confused and placed a hand over the receiver.

"Why, what's the matter? Jessica gave her to me, but I got a call from my wife, one of her friends received blackmail. Alex from second floor said he'd take her while I get someone to work on that. What's she got to do with you anyway? Leon?!"

The blonde had already turned around again and was now nearly running down the line. Jill and Jessica looked at their confused colleague. "He's a pretty new father," Jill said apologetic and hurried after her friend, Jessica on her heels.

Christian looked nonplussed. "Father?!" he echoed and hung up. "What do you mean, father? Leon's a father?!"

He stood up and chased after them. "Dana's Leon's kid," Jessica explained, panting a little because Leon was really fast. "He gave her to Jill, but she had interrogations and gave her to me, and I to you, because I had to go to the chief."

"Yeah, and the Count's gonna pick her up any minute and he'll be pretty pissed if he finds out Leon didn't watch her the whole time," Jill chimed in.

They all crowded the elevator. Leon still didn't speak; he hammered on the button to the second floor and glared at the wall in hostile silence. Christian looked confused. "Wait, why is the Count coming to pick Leon's kid up? What's with the mother, doesn't she have time?"

Jill sent a careful glance in the blonde's direction who was still ignoring them. "We-ell, that's kind of difficult…" she said slowly. The ping of the elevator and the door opening to the second floor saved her any explanations. They all tumbled out and hastily made their way to the desk where Alex was working. He looked up in surprise when he noticed the assemblage in front of it.

"Wow, what's up? Is it my birthday and I forgot? What're you all doing here?"

Leon's eyes scanned the surroundings, but Dana wasn't here either. "Where is the girl Christian gave you?" he demanded.

The younger held up his hands. "Whoa, Leon, slow down. I didn't know what to do with her, so I gave her to Barf."

Sudden silence fell. All four stared at Alex who visibly shrank in his seat. "What?" he defended himself weakly. "I'm a guy, guys. I don't know what to do with children, I don't have any. Barf's at least a woman. I didn't even baby-sit once in my life!"

"You gave her to Barf?!" Leon yelled and grabbed him. "You gave my daughter to Barf?!"

Alex quickly freed himself and smoothed his shirt, looking hurt. "Hey, first, I didn't know she's your daughter, since when do you even have one, and second, Barf's not that bad. She's just a little different."

Leon turned, fuming. "Fuck you, Alex, Barf's a wacko! I can't believe you gave a small kid to someone who slices up corpses the whole day!"

"If you'd take the time to get to know her, you'd find out that she's actually a very nice person!" Alex yelled after them and got out behind his desk. "And why is your daughter at the plaza, anyway? It's not a place for kids, and we don't have an on-work kindergarten."

The blonde was already out the door again, the other three in tow, and the young officer was forced to follow them. Again they crowded the elevator, and Jill was kind enough to explain. "Because the Count had a meeting and didn't want to leave her at the shop," she said patiently, ignoring Leon fuming beside her.

Alex looked as nonplussed as the others had. "What's that Chinese gotta do with her? I thought she was Leon's daughter. Has he made him look after her like he did with his brother?"

Jill opened her mouth to answer, but Leon beat her to it.

"Damn you all, the Count's her mother!" he burst out enraged. "And he's gonna kill me for sure if he finds out you left her with Barf! Dammit, Alex, she's not even two years old! You can't just leave her with a wacko pathologist!"

"The Count's her mother?!" three surprised voices echoed.

"I always thought he's a guy!" Jessica exclaimed and Leon blushed, realising he'd made a mistake.

"No, he's not," he said grumpily. "Can you please shut up now?"

"Wait, wait, wait a second. The Count's not a guy, but a woman, and you fucked her and got her pregnant?" Alex summed up and gaped at Leon. "I thought you hated him! Her. Whatever."

The blonde lost his nerves. "No, obviously I don't, else I wouldn't have a kid with him. And he's not a woman. Not completely."

"He's both?!" Jessica squealed with shining eyes. "Oh, that's soooo cool!"

"Yeah, ain't it?" Jill conceded. Three heads jerked around to look at the women in horror.

"Wow, that must be awesome! I bet he'd understand much better than the guys how to treat a woman in bed!" Jessica continued. Said guys started to speak all at once, angrily defending their gender.

"That's such bullshit, there're a lot of guys who treat women very good in bed!" Alex folded his arms and glared.

Christian hurried to take his side. "My wife has never complained, either."

Both women rolled their eyes. "Oh, Christian, she's your wife!" Jill said knowingly. "She won't complain because she loves you."

Her colleague looked hurt and Leon cut in. "Sorry to disappoint you, ladies, but in fact I don't think he'd be that awesome lover," he said grumpily and all heads turned towards him, the women looking disappointed and the men relieved.

"Well, you must know, Leon," Christian said. Alex cut in.

"So, he really is half man, half woman? Fuck, that's strange! I didn't know that was possible!"

Leon cleared his throat. "Is," he mumbled, trying to avoid their eyes. But they wouldn't let him off the hook and followed him out of the elevator when they finally reached the basement.

"He's got a pussy? And what else does he have, does he have, like, a cock like some normal guy?" Alex asked eagerly.

"Alex!" Jill and Jessica screeched in dismay and Leon stopped to glare at him threateningly.

"If he hasn't got a pussy, then how should he give birth to the kid, huh?!" the youngest defended himself. "What's it like, Leon, in bed, I mean? I bet he's not that cold and distant in bed as he is the whole other time!"

The blonde's face took on a very unhealthy red colour and he snarled. "Alex, if you don't shut up in a second, I swear I'm gonna kill you!" he barked and continued to stride to the pathology lab. "It's none of your business how the Count's in bed! And everything else is twice none of your business!"

Jill and Jessica snickered and quickly hid their laughter behind their hands. Christian stared pointedly at the wall while Alex mumbled something indecipherable under his breath.

Leon, ahead of them all, decided that he was going to kill someone for sure today, and odds were good that it would be Alex. God, how could that guy even dare to ask about D's anatomy?!

And he would've been pissed about that question even if he could actually remember what D's anatomy looked like.

Anyway, what did he think leaving Dana to Barf?! That woman was nuts, and that was still an understatement! She hadn't gotten that name for no reason. She'd started working at the plaza's pathology just when the series 'Bones' had started and because she resembled that Brennan woman pretty much, it hadn't been a week before everybody was calling her Bones, too. But she'd objected and told them that she was not at all like Temperance Brennan, and by the way, she had as much to do with rotten flesh as with bones.

If one believed plaza's grapevine, that was how her new nickname had been created. 'Bones And Rotten Flesh'.

But most just attributed it to the fact that whenever she lunched together with someone, that poor bastard could afterwards be seen hurrying to the toilet. Barf loved her job, and she loved talking about it even more.

And Alex had given his daughter to that wacko woman. That guy was so dead.

Practically bursting with rage, Leon pushed open the doors to the pathology lab and strode inside. He saw Dana at once, sitting on the desk in front of Barf who was calmly eating an apple while she showed the girl pictures of different bones. "And that, lovely, that's the sternum. It's here."

She pointed to Dana's chest and the girl obligingly looked down and repeated the word. "Sternum."

Barf smiled. "Clever girl."

"Dana! C'mere, sweetie!" Leon reached for his daughter who turned at the sound of his voice and squealed in delight.

"Daddy!"

"Oh, thank god, you're alright!" the blonde breathed and hugged her tightly. She immediately took advantage of his mood and grabbed his ponytail, causing the hair tie to snap and his hair to fall free.

"Dana good girl!" she told proudly. "Dana learn bones!"

"Yeah, I see that." Her father glared at the pathologist. "If you showed her any pictures of the people you've got in here, I'll -" He stopped talking, remembering that the child would pick it up at once. Instead he hugged her again. "C'mon, we're gonna go back to my office and then you'll go home with D."

The others arrived, panting, the women with tears in their eyes and grins plastered all over their faces. "Dana, hello, honey! See, Leon, she's alright," Jill said and turned to her friend.

"Yeah, no thanks to you," he accused and she crossed her arms.

"Well, if you'd waited just another minute to listen to me, nothing of this would've been necessary. Or if you'd for once managed to stand your ground and told D four hours alone at the shop won't hurt her," she said.

"Geez, she really looks like you and the Count in one!" Alex sputtered and stared at Dana, hands buried in Leon's hair.

"Of course she does, she's ours!" the blonde barked. Barf cut in, eyes blazing interestedly behind her glasses.

"Leon, she really is your and the Count's daughter? Wow. I thought she looked a lot like you, and those Asian features… But I never would've thought she's the Count's kid! Aren't you two always fighting?"

"We were always fighting, before Dana was born," Leon corrected and collected Dana's cat from Barf's desk. The pathologist looked intrigued.

"Wait, how can that be? If he's a human, how can he be – both?" Alex had finally managed to pry his mind loose from D's anatomy and was now starting to get suspicious.

Leon blushed. "Uh…" he said, unsure of what to say. Thankfully, Barf took over for him.

"Alex, that's nothing abnormal," she said calmly and adjusted her glasses. "Hermaphroditism in humans is very rare, but it does happen. And if he's more female than male, there's no reason why he shouldn't be able to have kids. Actually, it's not real hermaphroditism, because those are always infertile. It's pseudohermaphroditism, female pseudohermaphroditism if he's a woman. What he, apparently, has to be if he gave birth to a child. Only his outer appearance is more male than female, but the primary sexual characteristics are female," she lectured.

Five grown-ups and one child stared at her speechless. Barf shrugged. "What's the matter? It's a human problem that everything has to be strictly defined. Plants and animals aren't that accurate. They can be both and that's okay. Only humans think that an in-between is something sick."

"You sound just like D," Leon croaked. "He said that when we had that case with that computer-fish-freak, what's-his-name, Jordi."

"I would very much like to meet that Count of yours, Leon," Barf said and smiled a little shyly. "It sounds as if he's a very interesting person."

The blonde nodded as if in trance. "I'll introduce you one day," he promised.

Jill snapped out of her stunned state and looked at the clock. "Leon!" she shrieked. "He's gonna be here any minute! Hurry up!"

"God, yeah! Thanks, Barf. Bye!" Leon called and broke into a full run, Jill at his heels. The rest stayed behind, still regarding Barf with strange glances.

"I wonder why he prefers to be perceived as a male," she said thoughtfully and returned to her desk with a sigh. "Anyway, I've gotta get back to work, lost enough time with the kid. Anyone cares to help me cut up that drug addict that was found stabbed in the backyard?"

Collective choking sounds were her only answer, and the remaining three persons quickly left.

"So, sweetie, there you go." Leon smoothed Dana's dress and swivelled his chair to his computer. "And remember, Bàbà doesn't need to know where you spent your afternoon, okay? It's our little secret."

Dana held up her hand. "Swear!" she said. The blonde grinned down at her.

"God, Dana, you're the best kid I could've gotten myself," he said. Jill, peeking round the corner, squeaked and hurried to her desk, too.

"He's coming!" she hissed. Leon took one of Dana's books in his hands and started to read to her.

When D rounded the corner, he was greeted by the sight of Leon reading Dana's favourite book to her while Jill was busy writing something on her computer. He breathed a silent sigh of relief. His worry had been gratuitous. Leon had taken good care of their daughter, and Dana seemed pretty happy, sitting there on his lap, though she looked a little tired.

His lion looked up and rewarded him with a smile that seemed a bit awkward. "Hi D, how did it go?"

The kami crossed the room and kissed his daughter on the forehead before he straightened and answered. "Very well, Detective, thank you. Did you have any problems with her?"

Father and child looked at each other. "No, no problems at all. Dana was a good kid the whole time," Leon said and grinned. D could've sworn he winked at her. But probably he was just tired, too.

"Very well, then I shall take her to the shop. It is time for her dinner anyway," he said and took the child up in his arms.

"Do that. I'll be around to read her story at bedtime," Leon conceded and handed Dana her plush cat. D sniffed. Strange, he thought he smelled some cleaning fluid on Dana's clothes… something humans used in laboratories…

Shaking his head, he returned his attention to Leon, who was handing him Dana's toys as well. "See you later, sweetie," he said and let himself be hugged by Dana, smiling a little embarrassed. D's heart skipped a beat at being so close to the human.

"Until bedtime, then, Detective," he managed and turned before the human could notice the blush in his cheeks.

Jill smiled and waved at Dana. "Until next time, honey!" she called and Dana waved back.

D left the precinct, feeling a little proud that he'd been right. Leon had obviously managed to look after their daughter even though he was working. Perhaps he could leave her at the plaza more often in the future. He'd welcome the time without the wild child and she seemed content, even if tired.

Yes, that was a good idea. The plaza was, after all, a safe place as long as Leon was there.

A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews... please excuse me not commenting on them, I'm sick and feeling everything but well... But know that I was very happy about them! Enaty