A/N- I'm so freaking sorry it took me so long to get this up. I've had so many issues (and not just mental ones) lately. It's all been drama, drama, drama. I bet there will still be drama in the nursing homes. It's impossible to ever get away from. Check out my new one-shot for the Host, Maybe. It's just Jamie reflecting about his life since Wanda/Melanie came. Thanks to my ninja-beta, VioletWilson. Without her, I doubt anyone would bother reading this becuase of all the errors and choppiness. We're back to Bella's POV. Please reveiw!

Chapter Six – Broken

"Broken" by Lifehouse

I sat alone at lunch. Where else would I sit? Looking at the wall, I knew already how people were staring, they would always stare because I would always be the girl who tried to kill herself. I would always be hated and rejected.

Edward had just paid for his food and was headed towards his friends and family. I couldn't help but feel a small pain in my chest, he seemed to be the only good thing I could find in this mess. He smirked as he passed the table where they were seated, surprising me. As Rosalie shot us an icy and surprised glare, Edward sat down across from me. He smiled a crooked grin and a small blush rose on my cheeks. This was just the beginning of a new friendship.

- - -

"So," Alice pressed, "have you and Edward declared your love for each other yet?"

"What?!" I spat my water out.

"Oh, come on," she groaned. "It's painfully obvious that you two are in love. We've been here for a month and a half and everyone, except you two apparently, knows. I'm never wrong about these things, and you two are meant to be together."

"Someone needs to switch to decalf and lay off the late night TV." I giggled.

Alice was practicing the torture of "sleepovers" on me, again. She declared herself my new best friend two weeks after Edward and I became friends, and I wasn't about to tell her that, technically, Edward was my best friend, because I could talk to him about anything. That's what friends are for right?

She insisted that almost every weekend Rosalie and I spend the night together. She always shooed all the guys out of the house and ordered Chinese food, and had an uncanny gift for picking out good movies.

Rosalie didn't seem to hate me as much. She was still cold to me, and only grudgingly went along that anything that involved me because Alice made her, but, she didn't want to kill me and I considered that an accomplishment. She and Edward were still kind of icy. He wasn't ready to forgive her yet, even though I had already forgiven her.

"But, have you?" Alice whispered, still demanding answers about my non-existent relationship with Edward.

I smacked the back of her head, "Edward and I are friends. Now shut up and go to sleep."

"Fine," she huffed. "but, I'm right. You'll find that out for yourself soon enough... even if you keep up this stubborn thing you've got going."

Ah, Edward.

What did I think of him? I considered him my best friend, but did I want something more? I hadn't had much experience in friendships or relationships. The little that I had seemed entirely different compared to this. I didn't really know how I felt, and I certainly didn't know how he felt. The unknown left me nervous. I didn't want to blow the only sliver of happiness I'd felt in years. I wouldn't get a second chance.

"Sleep well?" Edward asked me the next morning at breakfast.

"Very." I lied. I'd spent most of the night tossing and turning and toying with the idea of Edward as more than a friend.

"What's the plan for today?" he asked. His bronze hair was a mess as always, water droplets still clinging to it from his morning run in the rain, his emerald eyes were bright with energy and curiosity, and his perfect features were, well, perfect. Anyone could easily find him attractive.

But was I attracted to him on more than just a physical level?

"Shopping!" Alice sang. She danced out of the kitchen and all the way to her Porsche, leaving a trail of Marc Jacobs perfume we were no doubt intended to follow.

"Do we have to do this every week?" I complained.

"Yup."

- - -

Hours later, we were all weighed down by shopping bags, except Alice who had shrugged all of hers off to Jasper, who didn't seem to mind too much.

"Let's ditch them." Edward whispered to me.

"What?" I asked.

"I can tell you're about to shoot someone, I know I am. Let's go, get away from them." his crooked smile and sparkling eyes demanded and recieved a nod of compliance from me.

"Bella and I are going to the music store on the other side, you guys go ahead without us." Edward lied.

Alice winked at me, "Okay, see you later." She knew she wouldn't until much later.

"Where are we going?" I asked, sliding into the Volvo.

"For me to know, and for you to find out." Edward simpered easily.

"You know how much I hate surprises!" I muttered.

"I'm hoping to change that little quirk of yours," he laughed.

I smiled begrudgingly and looked out the window as Port Angeles flew by. We were driving out of town, and soon the buildings were replaced by trees and rivers. Edward stopped in front of a small forest, no trail in sight.

"I hope you don't mind a little hike." he smiled.

"And what if I do?" I asked playfully.

"Then too bad for you." he said, grinning deviously as he began walking into the cool forest.

"Wait!" I hurried after him.

We hiked for at least twenty minutes and I still didn't know where we were headed. If Edward wasn't there, I might as well have been going in circles forever. There was no path that I could see, yet Edward seemed to know exactly where he was going.

"We're here," he said, coming to a halt and laughing when I bumped into his back.

"And where would here be?" I looked around.

We were in a meadow. It was almost completely circular. Its beauty was breathtaking. I couldn't even imagine how it would look on a sunny day. The clouds overhead seemed to be growing darker and thicker by the second. Any moment now, rain would begin to fall and it would be another hike to the car. Why had Edward taken me here?

"I like to come here to get away from everything," Edward explained. "I figured that you needed a break from the business of Alice. She's hard to take in all at once, especially along with everything else going on right now."

I sank to the ground. Emotions filled me. I knew it must be special to share this with someone else. He seemed as fond of opening up to people as I was. That was why our friendship worked so well.

The rush of the past few weeks hit me with full force. It wasn't only Alice that kept me so busy. School seems to get harder when every time a teacher hands you a paper and hate shoots from their eyes. Doctors tried to push me into rehab for a month or two. I was better, I didn't want to kill myself anymore and I didn't need rehab. Charlie was cautious of his every move around me. He worried about everything. That I wasn't happy, that I was doing poorly in school, which I wasn't, that Edward might be another person out to hurt me.

The first drops of rain touched my face. Edward sat next to me, a comforting arm around my shoulders. He lifted a finger to my cheek, where a tear had escaped my mask. My head drooped to his shoulder. I let a few more of the tears free. There was nothing left to hide with Edward. I was still scared and shattered, but he was putting me back together again.

He put his hand under my chin and gently pushed it up. I was looking into his shocking green eyes. A weak smile spread across my face. Edward was the glue that held what little was left of me together.

"You're not alone. You know that?" he whispered.

"I know," I nodded.

"I'm right here."

My heart picked up speed. His eyes dazzled me. There was nothing but us and the meadow. There wasn't a Forks High School. There weren't a million kids that hated me. There wasn't anything but the two of us.

Edward's breath on my face made thinking considerably harder. I couldn't think about the mixed feelings for him inside of me, of the pushy doctors, of the judgmental teachers or the mean high school kids, because in that moment, there was only the two of us.

There was suddenly no more distance between us.

His lips caressed mine. I wound my arms around his neck. He pulled me closer. I could feel my heart threatening to burst out of my chest.

We broke apart. Our foreheads still connected. A crooked smile that I had grown to love spread on his face, a blush raged on mine. Rain mixed with tears that betrayed many emotions rand down my face.

"I'm right here for you, Bella." he kissed me again, and this time I met him halfway, expecting it.

I was nowhere near whole again, that much I knew. It would take so much more healing for that to happen. But I could feel myself, piece by piece, coming back. Edward was the only cure for the pain that surrounded me. I needed him like I needed air.

I was certain that only friendship was not possible anymore. My feelings for him were more clear than they had been before, but still not completely sure. I had no idea what the different pulls that drew me to him meant. There had been absolutely no chemistry between Mike and me. We had only been together because we had to be together if we wanted to stay on top. Now that I was at the bottom of the blackest hole, I could do what I wanted. I didn't have to consider what others would think about me, it didn't matter.

I was suddenly free, and I had no idea what I was doing.

I wanted to be with Edward as more than a friend. I wanted to tell Alice that, yes, we had gotten together. I wanted so much more than I had. Most of all, I wanted to be loved. With Edward, I could be. I could be myself. I could be protected and safe. But would I be?

I was still so damaged. Edward deserved someone whole and able to give him their entire heart. There wasn't that much left of me. But I would give him every ounce I had left. I would dare to take a chance. To jump and hope with all of me that he would catch me. He was all I had left to hold myself together. Without him, I would completely break down again. I would lose myself entirely.

Without him, I could not exist anymore. He was healing my wounds, but the faint scar would remain with me forever. With him, I could maybe be myself again someday. I could be me again, with no limits and no boundaries.

He was my life now.

I'm falling apart

I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart

That's still beating

In the pain

There is healing

In your name

I find meaning

So I'm holding on, I'm holding on, I'm holding on

Barely holding on to you

A/N- Edward and Bella kissed, do I deserve a review for that? Please?