Hikaru was feeling considerably more coherent.
Either a nurse had come in while he was sleeping and adjusted the amount of drugs being pumped into his body intravenously or they had so drastically overdosed him that he was already developing a resistance. Regardless he was feeling better.
Sort of.
He could actually feel his extremities now and was acutely aware that his head and arm hurt like a bitch, but now instead of being unable to hold on to one train of thought for more than thirty seconds at a time, he was over-analyzing things, unable to stop himself from worrying about what he was going to do about Id.
He couldn't understand it. He supposed Id being back made some sense taking head trauma and stress into account, but what he really didn't get was why he could tell. As much as he hated to admit it, he had never been able to tell Kaoru and an acting Id apart. There was nothing to tell them apart with. Physically they were identical, not even with the minute discrepancies between Kaoru and himself, and to be frank, Id was capable of a flawless impersonation of Kaoru when he wasn't trying to mess with his head.
Maybe he was going for a more drawn out form of torment? Poison him slowly over time and only reveal himself at Hikaru's dying breath. Or maybe he'd just keep pretending to be Kaoru, to torment him with the fact that no one else would ever believe him and that he'd never have the brother he knew back. Or maybe he was coming to kill him right now, and would be knocking at the door any second now with one of those emergency fire hatchets, or some equally gruesome tool, in hand.
He stared at the door expectantly for a few seconds.
Nothing happened.
He sighed and clenched his fist around the cast on his left forearm, trying to ignore the minute itch that he wouldn't be able to scratch for another eight weeks.
He flinched when the door opened without warning and, with an achy protest from his neck, looked over sharply just in time to see Id jamming the door shut with one of the visitor's chairs.
Noting his conspiratorial grin and distinct lack potentially life threatening implements, Hikaru did his best to crush the fleeting swell of fear in his chest.
"Why Hikaru! You're looking wonderful!" Id says cheerfully. "In fact the only way you'd look better is if you were a cold, lifeless corpse!"
"You flatter me Id." Hikaru replies sharply. "Finally decided to fess up?"
"Sure. After all there's no fooling your immeasurable brilliance." He bit back with a derisive laugh.
Hikaru gave him a wary look. He wasn't supposed to agree with him. "So what? Are you here to strangle me? Poison me? Flaunt the fact that you've taken away the most precious thing to me again?"
Id's expression twisted halfway between a self-assured smirk and a snarl.
"How cruel, talking to me so coldly big brother." He growled. "What happened to wanting your brother back resentment and all?"
Hikaru gritted his teeth. Damn Id for being so good at twisting words. "The key word there was all, not just the single-minded hatred."
"Tch. I knew it. You never really accepted me at all."
"No." Hikaru said with uncharacteristically growing clarity. "I do. But just because I accept you as part of my brother doesn't mean I have to like you."
Id's posture softened. "That's rather selfish logic, don't you think?"
"Maybe, but since when have you given a flying fuck what I think of you anyways?"
"I don't." Id replied maybe a little too quickly. "But if I can convince Kaoru that you don't really care about him for what he really is, then maybe he'll finally give up on you."
"That would be a lie and we both know it." Hikaru says darkly. "I love Kaoru more than anything." A bit of red crept onto his cheeks, but there was no hesitation in the statement.
"Denial is a wonderful thing you know? It can make you believe anything. You should be fairly familiar with the concept." Id didn't give Hikaru a chance to talk back. "Besides, you only love that guy and his spineless, sickening adoration."
Id shuddered abruptly, slouching over and hiding his face from view.
"But…" He started again after a pause, in a soft quiet tone that didn't suit Id at all. "But that's okay…. because you deserve it!" He says looking up at Hikaru with bright, unadulterated devotion in his eyes. "Because I love you more than anything too!"
Hikaru stared at him with a wide eyed, perplexed expression. "…wait …What?"
He leaned forward, taking Hikaru's hand gingerly in to his own and cradling it against his cheek affectionately. "Oh you have no idea how much I've missed you Hikaru! It's so painful not being able to be with you. This separation is just—" He paused, letting his hand fall from his grip, a look of profound melancholy overtaking him and eyes glittering with unshed tears. He stood and walked to the window, gazing out with his hands clenched at this chest. "It's probably for the better… These feelings of mine are so disgusting, so immoral, so wrong and yet so so right!" He turned back towards Hikaru, tears falling unashamedly. "I don't deserve you at all, do I Hikaru?"
Hikaru stared dumbly. What in god's name is going on? This wasn't like Id at all. He wasn't sure if even Id could act this well. It was all so mind-numbingly… melodramatic. And adorable in a way he supposed, and kind of comforting, but at the same time entirely too much so. Like that sick feeling you get when you eat too much of your favorite ice cream.
This can't be Id. His mind concluded finally. There's just no way. But at the same time, that is not Kaoru.
"Who are you?" Spilled from his mouth without thinking.
The other boy looked momentarily taken aback, but smiled bashfully at him, suddenly not resembling Id at all. If anything he made Hikaru think of the first time he had kissed him, in a last ditch effort to regain his brother. That hadn't been Kaoru?
"Well I'm not really Kaoru, the ego, and we already have an Id, I guess that would make me the Super-Ego huh?" He giggles playfully, all previous despair forgotten. "But that's quite the mouthful, isn't it? Why don't we just go with S.E.?"
"S-Sure?" Hikaru said blankly, not quite sure how he felt about his brother giggling. "So you aren't actually Kaoru…"
S.E. worried the sleeve of the hospital pajamas, looking distraught. "No." He murmured in a small voice, before looking up at Hikaru forlornly. "Do you still love me?"
God how he wanted to say yes and wipe that hurt look off his brother's face.
"No." Is what ended up coming out, and despite the look of utter dejection S.E. gave him, he refused to take it back. "Granted I can already tell I like you a lot more than Id and I maybe I could love you in a friendly or strictly fraternal way, but you just aren't Kaoru. …I'm sorry."
The hurt settled into a blank expression.
"Then if neither of us are Kaoru, who is he?"
Hikaru wished more than anything that he knew the answer. He thought back to after Id disappeared and before all this drama started, to the years that nurtured brotherly affection into something much, much stronger, and the weeks before the accident that removed all doubts.
"He's like both of you." Hikaru said finally, and the blank look he was getting seemed unimpressed. He stared down his hands, clenching at the sheets uselessly and letting his eyelids fall closed, searching.
"He doesn't have Id's smirk or S.E.'s smile, but some mixture of the two, a sort of wry grin… And when laughs, it's carefree and playful, not like a cackle or a giggle really. Adorable in a way, but kind of conniving too. He can be a little dramatic at times, and over think things a lot, but he knows how to laugh at himself, and not take things too seriously. He knows what he wants, but would give it up in a heartbeat if he knew it would make someone he cares about happy. He's just… different. Different from S.E., Id, and anyone else."
Hikaru paused, unable to bring himself to open his eyes look at what should have been his brother.
"He's my brother, my Kaoru… I don't know how else to explain it. I just need him so badly." He murmured brokenly.
"Then…" His brother started softly, taking his hands in his own and guiding them upward to cradle his face. "…take me back Hikaru. Look at me. See me. I've been waiting here for you all along." That voice. Dear god, that voice. He knew that voice.
His eyes snap open, and the sight of Kaoru's breezy, inimitable gaze took his breath away. Not quite getting his brother's name past his tongue, he crushes their mouths together in a way that's notably uncomfortable and awkward, but charged with enough relief and unadulterated joy that neither had the heart to pull away until the could no longer hold their breath.
Hikaru immediately pulled Kaoru into a hug, nuzzling into his neck desperately, ignoring the IV that had been torn from his arm and the panicky shrieking of various machinery, whose sensors had come undone with the movement.
However, to his merit, he at the very least paid attention when the chair that had been jamming the door clattered inward in a broken heap, splintered when the tag team of Hani-sempai and Mori-sempai rammed the door open.
-oOo-
The rest of Kaoru's stay at the hospital was rather uneventful, seeing as the nurses were wary of leaving him and his brother alone in the same room for too long, partially because of the previous incident and partially because whenever they did, a series of unfortunate (but ultimately inconsequential) accidents usually followed. He was released on Tuesday, having stretched out his stay for as long as possible, and back to school on Thursday, being smothered by acquaintances and overzealous fangirls at every turn. Hikaru, sadly, was confined to the hospital until the next weekend, and even then he got two days of bed rest with twice daily visits from a nurse to be safe. (Though that was more motherly than medical in nature.)
The Host Club celebrated his return on Monday with a hospital cosplay, and the girls eagerly devoured the moving tale of how he had sacrificed his own body to protect his brother, playing it up for all it was worth.
That charming normality overtook them again with frightening ease, and by the time Hikaru was deemed in good health, the only remaining vestiges of his injuries were an arm brace and the still mottled scar and slightly too short hair on the base of his neck. And aside from the occasionally too gushy or too sadistic stray thought, he had yet to feel any stirrings from either Id or S.E., and their parent's were back to their respective businesses, and the Host Club was the same as always, and…
…and…
…and they still hadn't talked about it.
Somehow, between doctor's visits and school and life itself, that lingering awkwardness had been shoved aside in the face of far more pressing things. It could wait.
We'll both still be here tomorrow right?
It was 2:28 AM and Kaoru roughly shoved his half-asleep and utterly bewildered brother out of bed.
"Hikaru, we need to talk."
End
-oOo-
AN: Pffft. Wow, talk about senseless drama. Hope it wasn't too confusing, wordy, boring, incomprehensible, etc. I didn't re-edit this quite as obsessively as I usually do, so there are probably a few more grammatical, structural, whatever errors. Also props to xoxoxlovestinksxoxox for the ending, which was totally inspired by one of her reviews. (Not to mention requesting this sequel to begin with.)
Also, wow I'm like a zombie with the way I keep coming back from the dead on you guys. So props to everyone who made it this far too, particularly to everyone who took the time out of their day to actually review. I hope I didn't disappoint to much. :D
Thanks once again for your readership and support! It's been fun guys. There's a sort of silly little epilogue I added too, just for a bit of clarifications sake. Hope you enjoy it.
PS: Even though no one probably cares, I'll probably start uploading the backlog of other stories I've been writing while working on this, which are primarily for other fandoms. So just in case you're not intrested in anything other than Ouran and/or don't want to get spammed with notifications, or are feeling masochistic enough to read some of my other stuff, I thought I'd mention it.