Pairings: Remus/Sirius, James/Lily

Warnings: If you've survived this far without throwing up, I'm sure one more chapter won't do you any harm. If, however, you've shown any signs of nausea, faintness or drowsiness…screw it. Read on anyway- one day you'll learn…

A/N: *smiles sweetly*

We love you. We miss you. So here's a present to show you just how much we DON'T want flames for being lazy, inconsiderate assholes. We know that. Tell us something we don't know (through the medium of dance?) Just kidding – reviews are nice, though. Seriously. Even if you hate us, we brought you a story of puppy love!!!

You love them just as much as we do, soooo enjoy!

Disclaimer: We don't own them *sniff*

From all sides, bedlam reined. Boys roared with indignation, running in disgust for the exits, the sofas, for anything that might cause them to avert their eyes. The younger years stood with their mouths open in unified awe. Some of the girls cried, but most sank to the floor, avidly watching the couple tongue-battle and muttering phrases such as "Brokeback mountain, yeah, I totally agree" and "Velvet goldmine? What the hell is that? A jewellery store in Hogsmeade?"

James made a face and turned his back on the kissing couple to shuffle closer to Lily, who couldn't seem to get rid of the silly grin on her face.

"So...you know what they were plotting now...so technically you owe me some kisses." Lily smiled and opened her mouth to reply before Sirius pulled his mouth away from Remus and said loudly,

"Not yet, Lilykins! There's one more thing been planned..." James rolled his eyes and sighed. Maybe if he pretended not to have heard, they might leave him alone. He leant in for a kiss from Lily, but she planted her palm firmly over his mouth, an eyebrow raised.

"Damn." he muttered. "Fine!" He clambered up onto the table to join his friends.

"You're not queer too, are you Potter?"

"No!" Sirius waggled his eyebrows at his annoyed friend.

"You know you're always welcome to join us, Jamsie!" James looked scandalised, and muttered something so quiet that Lily could only catch the words "wand", "arse" and "eunuch". Oh well, boys will be boys, she supposed, and carried on watching as Sirius dragged Peter up to join the trio.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Sirius threw his arms wide and flashed a dazzling smile. "Now that all the formalities are out of the way..." Remus let out a snort which Sirius skilfully ignored. "It's time for the main event! Prepare yourselves! And please stop sniffing, it's very distracting." He aimed this last comment at a couple of distraught girls in the front row, who just looked at him balefully.

He winked at Charlotte, the girl who had pounced on him earlier in the Great Hall. "Cheer up, baby," he grinned. Remus cracked his knuckles fiercely, but no one noticed. Charlotte opened her mouth, shut it again, and ran out of the portrait entrance screaming something incoherent but was clearly intended to show Remus how much she hated him right then.

"Girls," Remus muttered, grabbing Sirius' shoulder and twirling him into a searing kiss. "Far too emotional"

Peter mimed being sick and James huffed loudly.

"Guys! Save it!" Remus pulled away, smirking and Sirius just beamed.

"Alright!" he said. "Come on guys! With feeling!" All the boys turned as one so that their backs were turned to the confused but eager audience. Sirius reached his arm out to the side (his magically charmed fairy wings flapping along with the movement) and tapped his wand on the muggle boom box.

There was a slight pause then suddenly a girl's voice started blaring from the speakers.

"Oh, my, god. Becky, look at his wings.

They are so gay. *scoff* He looks like,

One of those new rave wizards.

But, you know, who understands those new ravers? *scoff*

We only talk to them, because,

They look like total man whores, 'kay?

I mean, Peter's mind, it's just so sick.

I can't believe James' chest, I mean - mmm. Look!

They're all so…fit!"

The music exploded into the room and all the boys jumped round to face the shocked students, complete with knee bends in time to the music.

All of them were wearing dark shades, although Peter's were, in true Peter fashion, upside down. Lily stifled a noise half way between a giggle and a scream, peeking out through pale fingers at the most embarrassing and adorable boyfriend she'd ever had. James noticed and grinned sheepishly down at her. Then he snapped his attention back up as all four boys began to sing.

"Oh we like leggy blondes and we cannot lie!

You other brothers can't deny,

When a girl walks in with legs up to her eyes,

It comes as no surprise you ask why?"

Suddenly James leapt forward and struck a pose while the other boys carried on the song.

"Cause James is there,

Ruffling his sexy hair," Obligingly, James flicked his hair skilfully, causing several of the girls closest to the 'stage' to sigh. One brave fifth year even reached out a hand to touch what must surely be the softest hair in all of Gryffindor, but was slapped away by a red faced, possessive Lily Evans.

"Windswept Chaser is his look,

Not like Remus with his book." Remus stepped forward, a blush gracing his features again. Sirius coughed, prodding Remus gently forwards. Turning to glare a little at his boyfriend, he went into a low curtsey. Everyone winced as the leather trousers under the sparkly pink tutu rubbed together with an audible squeak, causing Remus to yelp and retreat hastily.

"Reading's what he likes to do," Sirius shoved him forward again and yelled,

"Kindly eyes like morning dew..." then stared fondly at his beet red boyfriend. James and Peter shared an exasperated look and carried bravely on.

"We like leggy blondes and we cannot lie,

You other brothers can't deny,

When a girl walks in with legs up to her eyes,

It comes as no surprise you ask why?"

It was clear from the two more frivolously dressed boys that they, too, were asking 'why?' but had their honour to uphold, so kept dancing. Peter was doing some weird version of the macarena, whilst James went smoothly into the robot to chants of 'go James go!' led by a group of overenthusiastic fangirls. This petered out quite quickly however with the realisation the Lily's murderous glances had now been joined by angry red sparks shooting out of her wand.

Then Sirius sauntered to the front, charm oozing from every pore.

"Cause Sirius is centre stage,

Magnetising all the babes,

One look from his cool grey eyes,

And all the bimbos drop like flies," Sirius smiled his trademark slow grin and winked at the nearest blonde girl, who promptly had to sit down. There were collective sighs from around the room. Remus gritted his teeth and tried very hard not growl at the fangirls now drooling over his boyfriend.

Holding his hand out like a rock star at a Muggle concert, Sirius grabbed hold of a few of the prettier 7th years including Lily and pulled them one by one onto the table, which some bright Ravenclaw expanded to accommodate the added weight.

The other girls left on the floor screamed wildly, disappointed at the loss of their Sirius. However, eventually they caught on, and began pulling the boys out from under tables and behind sofas to dance

"Peter Pettigrew is one of a kind,

He's only got one thing on his mind..." The song trailed off suggestively and the common room laughed and cheered as Peter shrugged and smiled.

Soon the party was in full swing, with everyone getting steadily more and more tipsy.

Lily danced her way rather seductively over to where James was dancing. He was surrounded by eagerly gyrating 6th years, all of whom were already rather giggly from the effects of fire whiskey, but they parted quickly as Lily strode purposefully towards her boyfriend. James gulped at the look on her face.

"Do I get my kisses now?" he asked rather nervously. Lily just smirked at him. She wrapped her hands around his neck, and toned down his movements until they were slow dancing together in time to the music.

It started off innocently enough at first, James arms wrapped around the redhead's waist which was exposed a little by her top. After what felt like an hour of swaying to James, although in reality it wasn't more than five minutes, Lily leant closer and whispered in his ear, hot breath causing a gasp to escape his throat.

"How about we go somewhere else? I'm getting a little...flustered." James just stared at her, her words barely penetrating his brain. Smirking at the obvious effect she had on him, and the fact that everyone was too busy having a good time to watch the two of them, Lily pressed herself even closer to her dark-haired dance partner, and looked deep into his hazel eyes as she ground her pelvis slowly and deliberately into his own. James squeaked.

"Come on James." she whispered huskily. Her boyfriend didn't seem capable of doing anything other than staring at her right now, so she giggled and started dancing him slowly towards the dorm stairs. He let her lead him, shock numbing his brain. Shock, or the draining of blood, he couldn't really be sure. Whatever it was, Lily's actions had a profound effect on his physical and mental state.

He kept his eyes locked on hers, bright with lust and wonder. He still couldn't quite believe that Lily, the girl who he'd been chasing for years, was finally leading him upstairs so they could...

"Help..." It was all he could manage before Lily captured his mouth in a fiery kiss, releasing him just as he began to lean into it with any real conviction. She giggled again, and grabbed him by the collar, tugging him towards the stairs.

He followed obediently, still seeking after the heat of the kiss. They got to the top of the stairs when suddenly he lunged forwards and captured her mouth, crushing her against the dorm door. She moaned, pressing herself firmly against as much of him as humanly possible, pushing her hands beneath his shirt collar, feeling the hot skin of his neck and shoulders with cool fingers.

Reaching behind her, James fumbled for the door handle, finally pushing it down so that they could tumble through to the dorm, not breaking the kiss once.

His hands found her long red hair and tangled his fingers in it, one hand slipping down to just beneath her breast, his thumb stroking the skin through her silk top.

"JAMES!" The boy suddenly jerked away from his girlfriend as he realised the dorm was already occupied.

"Seriously guys, you can't hold off for one night?!" Remus pulled the sheets up, blushing furiously while Sirius pouted at the interruption.

"Um...clearly not, Sirius. Although we could say the same of you." Lily raised her eyebrow pointedly at the two boys.

"Right, cheers mates. The mood has completely been ruined by you two, so thanks a lot!" James stormed furiously out of his down, yanking Lily's arm with him. After slamming the door behind them, he sank to the floor, smacking his head rather painfully against the door, his eyes shut. Lily sighed and sat down next to him.

"Calm down James."

"Stupid poufs...always in the dorm...ruining everything..."

"Look, the mood hasn't been completely ruined..." Lily whispered suggestively, placing a hand on James' leg. His eyes shot open and she smirked again. "Don't you know anywhere else...?"

He bolted up faster than a Niffler on a Galleon, pulling Lily hastily down the stairs, pausing at intervals to push her against the curved stair well wall to leave teasing kisses on her neck and mouth. "Where are we going?" gasped Lily as James dragged past all the other dancers and out through the portrait hole.

"You'll see..." James muttered, threading her fingers with his own as he lead the way down a deserted corridor.

Lily stared at his back, a small smile gracing her lips. Her eyes travelled down his body to fix on his arse and her smile grew wider.

They travelled through more corridors, stopping along the way for kissing sessions, until finally they reached...

"The prefects bathroom!" Lily laughed. "Seriously?"

James grinned, pressed one more searing kiss to her lips and led the way inside.

Lily just had time to jump up through the portrait which guarded the bathroom, stifling her giggles as the portrait hanging on the opposite wall yelled obscene comments after her, when James was on her again He trailed his fingers across the bit of exposed skin above her waist and she sighed happily against his lips.

The End

Love xxx