A/N: Hey, everyone! Long time no update! Hopefully you guys didn't miss me too much hehe. I just wanted to let you know that this story is not dead, I'm still working on it, but I just got writer's block few times. Thanks for all the reviews and support. Although this chapter is kind of transitional-ish, I hope you enjoy it anyway, it's fun.
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XI
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Tezuka learned what it was like to feel jealous. Jealousy was a lot like a incessant prickling of the skin that never stopped. He had paid and even greeted Ryuzaki in fairly good spirits. She was happy to see him too, it seemed because if a client came back twice, it was always a good thing. Particularly if the client was filthy rich and an acquaintance of Atobe Keigo.
"Fuji is finishing up with an appointment." She said, "So you might have to wait a little."
"That's no problem."
Ryuzaki studied him for a moment longer, and then nodded with a hint of a smile, "You can go on back if you want. Fuji's been asking for you."
Tezuka paused, his heart lifted in spite of himself. "He asked...for me?"
"Yes, quite diligently." The older woman took to studying her bright red nails as she spoke, "I'm glad you came back, Tezuka-sama, I never like to deal with Fuji when he is sulking." Then Ryuzaki noticed the many bags that he was carrying and smirked, "...Presents?"
Tezuka thought, and then shrugged, "Peace offerings. They're allowed, aren't they?"
Ryuzaki smiled, "Yes, of course, they're even encouraged, and for Fuji, you'll need plenty.
Tezuka almost found himself smiling back, but the idea of Fuji...diligently asking for him, and that look on Ryuzaki's face...he decided against it and excused himself.
-
The fact that Fuji was finishing up with a client pricked him a little, so Tezuka walked slow measured steps down the deserted hallway. He'd only been here once, but he knew where Fuji's room was, it was at the very end of the hall.
A man was coming out of it. A man with tousled hair and wrinkled clothes and a smile.
Tezuka paused and watched him. He realized that he was a jealous man.
-
The man disappeared down the hallway and Tezuka walked the remaining steps to Fuji's door.
The door opened, and Fuji stood there, with his calm, faint smile and tousled hair. "Hello, Tezuka-sama." He opened the door and Tezuka stepped in, setting his two bags on the floor. He felt awkward.
Fuji closed the door quietly behind him.
"You haven't been sleeping."
Tezuka slipped off his shoes and looked up into that inquisitive blue gaze. He wondered how Fuji knew these things. He shrugged, "Business is bad." He watched as Fuji twirled a strand of hair around his forefinger. "Could you comb your hair?"
The boy crossed over to his vanity table and returned with a comb, "That's not a reason. If you get sick, you'll waste even more money." The comb was pressed into Tezuka's hand, "Comb my hair for me."
It wasn't at all that simple, of course everyone wished it were that simple, but it wasn't. Tezuka felt the need to defend himself, only he didn't know how. All he could manage was, '...It's not that simple." And after studying the comb in his hand, he complied and gently worked the comb through Fuji's hair, slowly.
A sigh from the boy indicated that he was pleased. Tezuka wondered what the boy's hair would feel like to his fingers. The fact that he even wondered something so impossible frightened him.
Fuji spoke, rousing him from his thoughts.
"What did you do before you came to see me?"
Tezuka paused, "I went shopping with my secretary." It did not occur to him to lie.
"Saa...was she pretty?"
"...Sort of, it depends. Out of the office she is."
"Was she pretty today?" Fuji's voice had an edge to it, and Tezuka wondered if he was jealous. Why Fuji was jealous of someone like him...well, it was still a mystery.
"Yes she was, but I was shopping for you."
"Ah?" Fuji turned abruptly and peered at him inquisitively, after a moment, he smiled, "All right, you seem to be telling the truth, I believe you."
Tezuka looked at him, "...If you didn't believe me? What would happen?"
"I don't know." The smile seemed to grow, "I think I might do something drastic like strangle your secretary. But then, sneaking out of here would probably be a problem. I told you I was jealous."
"Did you?"
"Yes." Fuji stepped in and closed the distance between them, his arms went up and wrapped around Tezuka's neck and kissed him. It was not chaste, and after a moment or two, Tezuka woke up enough to kiss back.
They kissed for a long time, and when they finally stopped, Tezuka found himself splayed on the couch and Fuji was sprawled out on top of him. Tezuka took a deep breath and breathed in the boy's shampoo, it smelled expensive. Almost amusing, that such an adjective applied to smell.
After a while, Fuji buried his face in Tezuka's neck and laughed. Tezuka felt himself tense.
"...Fuji?"
"It's nothing, Tezuka-sama, I just...thought of something silly. That's all." And then Fuji sat up and smiled at him, cupped his face. "Can I open the present you bought me? It's rather strange, you know, to have you bring me presents while it's actually your birthday."
Tezuka watched as the boy stood and stretched, "It's fine...I might not be as wealthy as...some people, but I make do. And besides..." A very vague smile flitted across his lips before he realized, "It's nice to spoil someone, once in a while. And it's not like the 'presents' are wrapped. I bought them because I thought you might be angry."
Fuji paused, he wondered if Tezuka would be angry (ironically) if he ventured to say that Tezuka had a very nice smile and he wished he could see it more often. But he only shrugged, "So you thought you could bribe me?"
"...Something like that."
"Ah, then Tezuka-sama isn't as stupid as I thought." Fuji said approvingly with a nod.
Well, that certainly felt like a slap across the face. Tezuka said nothing as he watched the boy lug over the two bags he had set by the door next to his shoes. The boy plopped back down next to him and when he pulled out the first kimono, his eyes gleamed. Tezuka had to admit he was very pleased.
"Can I try it on?"
"Go ahead."
Fuji loosened the sash and let the fabric fall from his body and for a moment, all Tezuka saw was white perfect skin, he felt his face grow warm.
"Tezuka-sama is blushing."
That just made his face grow warmer. Tezuka looked down, determined to look everywhere but Fuji.
Fuji's hands were cold on his flushed skin. The boy was smiling, "I was actually going to save my present until later."
Tezuka once again found himself flat on the couch, except this time, the Fuji on top of him was not clothed, but half naked. That changed things...more than just slightly. He shifted, but Fuji's hands were stronger than they looked. Perhaps that, or he wasn't struggling very hard.
"...Fuji--"
"You're beautiful, Tezuka-sama."
The lips were kissing his face, kissing him all over, his eyelids, his forehead, his cheeks.
His vision was cloudy, perhaps he had been paying too much attention to how Fuji's kisses felt, to realize that the boy had plucked off his glasses and popped the buttons of his collar.
This...
This was giving Tezuka a very bad feeling. Somehow his hand had managed to clamp down on Fuji's wrist, by the looks of it, hard enough to hurt.
"Fuji...no." Even that didn't sound convincing to his own ears, but Tezuka knew he had to. "Please stop."
Fuji stopped, and as Tezuka still held his wrist, he could still feel the boy trembling. "...So...you are angry at me, aren't you, Tezuka-sama?"
He released the other's wrist and shook his head, "Fuji, I never said that."
"But you're thinking that." Fuji's voice was unusually subdued, he lay down once again, his head on Tezuka's shoulder. "Tell me something, why do you come here to see me if you don't want to sleep with me?"
Tezuka was silent. He realized that he had been expecting the question for some time, so he had entertained some thought of it, but...
"I like you, and I enjoy your company." Tezuka spoke carefully, weighing each world in his head, "Can't that be enough?" He paused, and then he raised a hand to bury in Fuji's hair, it was every bit as soft and silky like he had imagined it to be.
"Is it enough?"
"For me."
Fuji stiffened, he felt something equivalent to ice replace the blood in his veins. "What if it's not enough for me?" He willed his voice not to shake, he concentrated on the warmth of Tezuka's hands, and kept his voice still.
Tezuka said, "What do you mean?"
"...I mean..." Fuji took a deep breath, "I mean..." And then he let out a sigh, "Never mind, forget I said anything. Would Tezuka-sama like dinner? It's getting to be kind of late."
-
Fuji, Tezuka decided, was very strange today, he didn't pride himself in knowing a lot about the other's line of work, but still...something told him that being locked up day after day had consequences. Something told him not to press the issue.
Dinner was rice, salad, miso, and fruit, fresh peaches, Tezuka inquired (gently) as to where he got them, but Fuji just smiled and said, "Somewhere."
Somehow, it felt less awkward this time around for Fuji to feed him everything—from spoonfuls of miso to slices of peaches, and after they had eaten and cleaned up, Fuji had led him, for the first time to his bedroom...to bed.
Tezuka didn't know how long they had lain there, probably a long time. And Fuji had weaseled into his arms without him knowing, Tezuka held the boy easily.
"Ne, Tezuka-sama, are you having a nice birthday?"
"Yes, I am."
"Ah, that's good then."
Another long long silence passed, and Fuji shifted before venturing another timid question.
"If I went far away, would you miss me?"
"Yes."
"How much?"
"Very much." The answered frightened Tezuka more than a little, because he realized that it was very true.
-
Tezuka woke the next morning to a strange ceiling looming overhead, and a pair of blue eyes intently watching him.
Panic was the first thing that came to mind, they were on a bed, after all. Fuji must have seen his stricken expression and he laughed, a strangled sort of laugh. "...Good morning, Tezuka-sama. Please don't look at me like that, nothing happened. We both have clothes on."
Tezuka turned his face away from the boy so Fuji wouldn't see the red tint in his cheeks. He was surprised he'd slept well, better than when he was at home...by himself.
"Tezuka-sama." Fuji touched the side of his face. "If I tell you something something that might...make you angry, will you promise not to be angry at me?"
Did he Tezuka really seem the type to fly off the handle whenever he felt like it? He sincerely hoped not, he turned his face towards Fuji again once he was sure that the blush was gone from his cheeks. "I like to think I'm not so temperamental. It's takes a lot to get me angry."
Fuji still looked unconvinced, but he took a deep breath.
"...I love Tezuka-sama. I want you...to make love to me once." After another deep breath Fuji continued, speaking faster now, "I'm in love with you, I can't stop thinking about you, Tezuka-sama. When you wouldn't answer my calls, I didn't know what to do. Please just..." The boy swallowed hard again, "I want to be Tezuka-sama's first. And..."
Tezuka listened to the tumbling confession, and when Fuji stopped, he opened his eyes.
"And?" He prompted.
"And this is the last day I get to be as I am. I won't be able to see you after this, Tezuka-sama. Starting tomorrow, I'm officially under contract, I won't be able to take clients anymore, I won't be able to see you again. Ever."
"You won't be able to..." Tezuka wasn't able to finish his echo, due to the sudden rush of panic into his veins.
"Just because, if you don't like him you should tell him. I think he's fallen in love with you. You're a cruel man, Tezuka, and you know I respect that, but you don't want to just disappoint a boy like that."
"He's fallen in love with you, Lord knows how you did that. But I'm pretty sure you did it."
It was times like this that Tezuka absolutely despised Atobe Keigo.
"Tezuka-sama." Fuji's voice cut into his thoughts again, "I am in love with you. Can't you try to understand..." A note of desperation crept into the boy's voice, "Tezu--"
Tezuka put a finger to the boy's lips to silence him, he wished he could tell the boy that he wasn't in love. He wasn't, and Tezuka certainly hoped he wasn't because Tezuka didn't know how to deal with people that were in love with him.
But the fact that he was never going to see Fuji again, that the boy was contracted by someone else...like he was some sort of prize object up for auction..it wasn't as if Tezuka could just stand by and see this happen, but what could he do?
And then Fuji laughed, "I'm a silly child, aren't I? I actually hoped that Tezuka-sama would like a little useless whore like me. But I guess I was wrong, you deserve so much better than me, Tezuka-sama. That's all I am to you, you probably wouldn't even come back if Atobe-sama hadn't ordered you to."
"Leave Atobe out of this. He has nothing to do with this, Fuji." Tezuka said at last, "I came because I wanted to see you. "Like I said, I can like you and your company without sleeping with you. I may not love you like you love me, but you are very much a part of who I am now. Don't call yourself a whore."
Fuji lay down next to him and curled up like a cat, his whole body shaking. Tezuka's words weren't what he wanted to hear, exactly, but they warmed him.
"I wanted to make you love me, Tezuka-sama, but now there's no more time." He mumbled into the other's neck. "I wanted to wait until I was contracted by Tezuka-sama. But there's no more time...Tezuka-sama, this really hurts."
Tezuka could think of nothing to say, nothing to think. It was impossible to think when someone told you something like that.
Some time passed and then Fuji lifted up his face again, "Would you rescue me from my contract if I asked you to? I want a second chance to make you love me. Give me that chance."
He wished there was some way he could say no. No to this alluring boy who gave his body to many, but his one heart...to him. Tezuka realized he didn't know how. So he merely nodded, "All right."