I swear, most doctors are quacks; Truth and nothing but the Truth. There was obviously nothing wrong with me – not even a bleeding pinky. Look, if those doctors were any smarter, they would have realised my Special Status as a main character, also known as the protagonist, or better still, the Mary Sue. I've gone through this before – I am the Chosen One, immortal, I can't, won't, and shan't die because of petty reasons like this. It's just not done. We heroines are a wee bit fussier. Dying by a fatal slash from an evil enemy, that's more like it. People who live glamorous lives need glamorous deaths.
At any rate, I got stuffed through a gauntlet of doctors, an X-Ray machine and then another gauntlet of doctors. Someone even had to remind me I didn't have a concussion. Oh please. No sooner than I had returned to my room did a dude called Tyler come in. How rude, I was pretending to sleep and he sees right through it. For your information, he was the one who almost ran me down. I'm grateful that Fate picked him, he was a loser anyway, not some hot hunk.
"Oh my God Bella! I'm sorry, so so sorry!" Tyler was practically screaming his nose off. I did my best to ignore his sorry pleas. Hey, even in times of severe distress, heroines need to look detach themselves from the affairs of mere mortals. I am a goddess, after all. I can feel the golden glow emanating softly from my countenance, my radiance contrasting sharply with the grayness of with my sorry surroundings. An evil-looking nurse straps me to the bed with Velcro in various weird positions. Oh no, not another cheesy scene. I had to feign another swoon before they left me alone.
Both Doctor Cullen and his sexy son were staring at me when I woke up. Oh my god, he's hot. Um, both of them.
The doctor's cool fingers probed lightly along my… you don't really want to know.
"Tender," Doctor Cullen remarks.
"Not really," I reply coyly. I'd had worse.
Anyway, skipping the crabby power play, I finally got to speak with Edward alone. Again the same old secrecy with what really happened. Does he really think that I am that stupid? I have actually read Twilight, you know. Oh wait, but that's actually a stupid thing to do. Nevermind. As usual, when I glanced at Edward honey, it was, like, oh my God – he's hot! Imagine the tone and the appropriate pauses. Sound effects apply. Edward, gloriously useless, simply glared back.
Again, I think, oh my God – he's hot! Pardon my severely limited vocabulary, it is but a characteristic of most well-thought out characters. I was in danger of being distracted by his handsome face (again!). My demon lover! My fallen angel! But alas, I cannot give in yet. I froze in cold anger and the proceeded to shift myself out of the hallway and tumble into the arms of my stressball. I mean, my dad. Ooops.
I strutted past the rows of my supporters, friends and countrymen. In tune with convention, I did not deign to turn my gaze to either the left or right. With a casual wave of my slender, sexy hand, I signalled to all those slaves in my fanclub that they need not worry, for their Divine Patron was once again filled with bountiful health. Crops wouldn't grow otherwise. What happened after I got into Charlie's cruiser is of little significance to the main storyline, except that I had to answer a phone call from sterotypically shrieking mom, and yes, I got annoyed at Charlie again. I must admit that both were not worth my effort... except for the fact that I had to be at least a little concerned over the mental welfare of my mother, and I needed to get the story going by foreshadowing the breakdown of my relationships. Ten minuted after I put down the phone, I received a phone call from my mom giving me more tips on good acting. Praise be to her, she'd done a good job with the screaming and fussing bit; heck, she was enjoying herself at a party when I called. I'd always thought she was a good actress.
Later that night, I got an update from Fate that I was supposed to get my first dream about Edward Cullen. I decided to ignore it and get a sound sleep instead.