Changes That Could Kill You
1.06: "The Scales are Cut"
Emma's Point of View
It's been one month; one horrible month. My parents are still fighting, possibly getting worse, and I'm still cutting.
It's a horrid habit, but I can't stop. It seems as every time I get yelled at or angry, mad, sad, whatever, I just feel like I need to let the pain out somehow.
None of my friends know, at least it seemed they didn't one Friday afternoon after school.
We were sitting down on a booth at the Juicenet Café. I was taking a break and Rikki, and I were talking about recent events in our lives.
"Nothing's been going on with me now that I'm officially living with Zane." Rikki explained, as she was discussing her happy perfect life with Zane.
Her perfect happy world with her boyfriend. The thought of it made me want to barf.
"How about you, what's going on with you?" Rikki asked me.
"Um, nothing really. Boring me." I said, while trying to make Rikki seem that my life was perfect, even though it wasn't.
"Your parents still fighting? It's ok Em, everything I'll be fine." Rikki tried to reassure me.
It didn't work.
"My parents aren't fighting, everything's fine. Nothing's wrong."
I had to get out of there. If I didn't, I'd scream.
I ran away from the booth and away from Rikki and into the cool room.
I just sat down on the cold hard floor and cried. I didn't even know why I was crying, I just was.
I quickly grabbed the scissors that I knew were in my backpack, rolled up my sleeve on my right arm and I examined all the cuts on my arm. There were so many I couldn't even count. One more wouldn't make a difference.
I brought the scissors closer and closer to my arm.
I could hear Rikki call my name from behind the cool room. I didn't even care though. I just zoned her out.
The scissors were now right on top of my arm and I pressed down. Blood was slowing coming out from under my skin, and I didn't even care. I know I shouldn't be doing this but it's the only way to deal with the pain.
Opening Credits
(watch the video, link on my profile)
"Hey, Em, are you ok?" Rikki asked me the minute she saw me come out of the cool room.
"What? I'm fine, nothing's wrong, honest." Every word that was coming out of my mouth was a lie, they just wouldn't stop.
"Have you been crying?" Rikki asked, obviously noticing my red blotchy eyes.
"No." Another lie, what has gotten into me lately?
"Is it about your parents? You can tell me you know."
Rikki was being such a great friend. She's told me everything that's been going on in her life (including issues with her father), why couldn't I do the same?
"Ok, well then I'm assuming you'll be heading back out there to work."
I just shook my head 'No' and said, "I think I'm going to take the rest of the day off." I walked from the cool room entrance to behind the bench tops and explained to my boyfriend Ash, and fellow employee that I wouldn't be working today.
"Are you sure? Is everything alright?" Ash said as he placed his hands into mine.
I pushed him away and said, "I'm FINE! Why does EVERYONE keep saying THAT!?"
As I headed out, I was stopped by Ash. "Why do you want to take the day off?" he demanded.
"I just -"
"Tell me!"
I walked away from him, but he pulled on my sleeve to pull me back. "Don't touch that" I said, pushing his hand away. 'Just…what the hell?" Ash said as he saw the cuts on my arm. "What the hell did you do?" I didn't even catch the look on his face. I just pushed him off of me and I bolted from the Café and eventually scurried to my home.
The minute I walked in the door I could tell no one was there. I let out a sigh of relief.
"Yes, no arguing!"
"Yeah, not yet."
I walked into the livingroom to see Elliot laying on the couch, reading a magazine.
"Elliot, what are you doing here? Where's Mum and Dad?" I asked him.
"Oh, I don't know. They'll probably be back soon though."
"Great back to fighting." I said under my breathe.
"What?" Elliot asked.
"Nothing."
Just when I was about to leave and head upstairs to my room, Elliot said, "You know this is all your fault."
I turned to face him. "Is what all my fault?"
"This, Mum and Dad fighting."
I was confused. "How is this all my fault?"
"They're always arguing about you."
"That's not true."
Seriously, how could they be fighting about me? I'm not a burden to them that much, right? I thought to myself.
"Whatever, have it your way then." Elliot then went on to reading his magazine.
What has gotten into Elliot these days. It's like someone snatched the adorable, sweet and nice Elliot and placed him with this mean and uncaring Elliot.
I then heard the door open.
I turned to see who it was. And sure enough it was our Mum and Dad.
"Hey! Where were you two?" I asked them the minute they walked in the door.
"Oh, just running some errands." my Dad said.
"Actually, there is something that we need to discuss with the two of you and I think the time is perfect." my Mum explained to us.
My Dad whispered into my Mum's ear saying, "Are you sure?"
"I'm positive. Let's have a seat."
We were all seated down on the couch and I was anxious to see what all this was about. Maybe they won't be fighting anymore. Then all my problems are over!
As soon as we were all seated, we started the family meeting.
"Well, as you guys may know your father and I haven't been on good terms recently." my mother tried to explain.
"Well, I know this may shock you both but we just have too many differences to continue living together." my Father stated.
"So, what are you trying to say?" I asked, hoping this wouldn't be bad news.
"We've decided to file for a divorce."
As soon as I heard the words come out of his mouth my jaw just dropped. My parents; the parents I thought would never split up are in fact doing just that!
"Now, I know you guys must be shocked beyond reason, but just give it time. I'm sure you'll both see that it's the right decision." my Mother explained.
I couldn't even say anything. I couldn't even look at them. It's like my life was just crumbling down. Our family has always had problems, but we were able to fix them and deal with them. This was not one of those problems, this was worse, much worse.
The only thing I could do was to run out the door and get as far away as possible.
The farthest place I got to was the Juicenet Café.
"Hey, Emma! What's wrong? And don't tell me nothing." Ash said when he saw me come in with tears streaming down my face.
I didn't say anything, I couldn't say anything. I ran towards the back room and into the cool room and just let all my frustrations out. I grabbed everything I could find, fruit, milk, anything and just flung it all over the place.
"Emma, what are you doing? What's wrong?" Ash yelled the minute he saw the destruction I was making.
Then (after flinging around as much stuff I could), I reached into my backpack and pulled out the pair of scissors I had used earlier.
Ash obviously figured what I was about to do. He grabbed the scissors from my hand and said, "Emma, you can't do this to yourself! Cutting is not the answer! I saw what you've been doing to yourself, it's not healthy!"
"Just give them to me!" I screamed, trying to get the scissors out of his hands.
"No, I won't. You need to stop doing this to yourself! Why would you even think of doing this to yourself?" Ash asked me.
"Because..."
"Because what?"
"Because I just had to let the pain out. I'm just so sick of my life, I had to do something!"
"Well, you shouldn't have done this! It's dangerous. If there's anything that you need to talk about you know that I'm always here."
With what he said, something inside me snapped and I wasn't even sure why I was telling him this. "My parents are getting a divorce."
"What? Em, I'm so sorry." Ash said. He held me close in a embrace.
"I'm sorry to for what I've been doing. I promise I won't do it again."
And with that I meant it.
I am extremely sorryyyy for the wait! Life's been crazy&hectic..& i haven't had time. I'm thinking of only doing Changes every 2 weeks. & after the 10th maybe doing a hiatus & then coming back in January. I personally think this chapter SUCKS & is just..ugh, i HATE IT! so VOTE&REVIEW! PLEASE!