Fullmetal Alchemist-----RxR

Ch.10—DISCORD

SPOILERS FROM MANGA and ANIME !!!

RIZA/ROY Side:

Riza:

The human adrenal gland produces Epinephrine, a certain hormone that causes the flight or fight response in humans. This dangerous and useful hormone is mainly what produces the human instinctual reactions.

Normally, I take advantage of this instinctual response and give my enemy a bullet in the head before they react. Yet today, I found myself confused and stunned. Under his stinging gaze, I felt pain. My legs were numb despite my mind's scream for them to move. My chest felt congested, breathing was getting harder and harder.

I needed to run away. My instinct is forcing me to get away from this dangerous situation.

Instead, he continued to look at me. The two women at his table looked at me with alienating looks. The third one looks familiar, but I can't figure out her expression.

So many gazes, I wanted to run badly. To turn from these stares and run back into the rain, so I can pretend that I never found him or heard him. I wanted to explain too, to tell him that I was there simply for his safety.

Again, my mouth failed to comply. Has this bar always looked so dim?

"Lieutenant!" There was surprise in his voice.

He probably didn't want to see me. Have I always been this troublesome for him?

"Colonel." My voice sounded far-way and mechanical. I bit my lips hard; pain suddenly woke me up and the room lit up. "I'm here to take you back to headquarters. You have paperwork due. "

I tasted hints of saltiness on my tongue. I closed my mouth tightly so he wouldn't see the bleeding lip. Then, my face hardened into an emotionless state.

What am I hiding from him?

I couldn't make my gaze collide with his, if I do, he will be able to tell.

Without hesitation, I picked up the umbrella from the ground. The rain water felt warm on my hands.

Has my hands always been so cold?

"Lieutenant! Wait…!" He called after me after I turned around for the door.

I heard shuffling behind me and boots running on the wooden floor. I bit my lips again unconsciously. Pain shot through, but I was calm again.

"Are you…alright?" He was beside me, reaching for the umbrella, his voice full of worry. Is it all hypocrisy? But back then when he said those words, he sounded so sincerer, so

real. He's supposed to be a playboy bachelor; he's not supposed to sound so affectionate towards someone.

But who am I to say that he can't love? He has every right to fall in love with someone. Didn't I establish that a long time ago? Am I not resolute enough, or am I the hypocrite?

He grabbed the umbrella from my hand and opened it for me. Why does he have to be a gentleman? Why can't he just treat me like any other male subordinates?

Maybe he meant me when he said those words?

I shook my head and almost chuckled. Not possible. I'm not his type. Those girls just now are his tables are his type, cute and out-going. Not me, never me.

We arrived back at the headquarters without any trouble. It was silent walking throughout the trip, though I felt his glances over me occasionally.

I ignored them. I can't associate with him like we used to anymore; otherwise, I don't think I can face myself, or him.

I can't allow my feelings to escape again. It's unfair to him, and it's unfair to her, whoever that "her" may be.

-----------------------------------------------------Split line--------------------------------------------------

Roy:

Why was she so shocked? Could she have heard what I said?

She should be happy, shouldn't she?

I said those words for her, my first confession in years.

Did she misunderstand the words?

No way, she knew that I've always been close to her. Who else could I be talking about?

She of all people should understand the words better.

So that leaves one answer: she doesn't want my love.

I wanted to know. I desperately wanted to know, but all she did was avoid my eyes. Is she uncomfortable around me after I said that?

Damn it, I should have just shut up. If I didn't say anything, maybe we can still be the same as before. I can't bear the silence and the awkwardness between us.

Why should the Hawk of Ishbal feel anything towards the infamous massacre Flame Alchemist? She's a strong woman, and to her, I'm merely a coward and a killer hidden behind formidable ability.

It was a mistake.

She's too far, unreachable. Despite how everyone thinks of her as a strict, cold soldier, she's not. I don't know if anyone has seen the other side, but I have seen it.

She's aching inside. The guilt from that damned war is still haunting her…that's why she refuses to let anyone in, even me. She's always trying to be strong, trying to be independent. God knows what she's feeling right now.

Yet when she strains herself too much, it hurts her.

What am I reminiscing right now? She rejected me, there's no doubt about it.

Then, are the feelings I saw before today all my hallucinations?

The blush, the stammer, the expression…

The question is not about me anymore.

I can't expect her to be the Riza-chan who used to follow me around like a little sister.

She's a woman now, she makes her own choice.

Yet, why does it hurt so when she attempts to avoid me?

The walk back to HQ was painfully slow.

I didn't know where I have offended her. Why is she avoiding me all of sudden? The problem is not knowing anything…

That night, I failed to sleep.

The moon shone through the window of my small apartment room. I sat on my bed without changing.

"Damn." I heard myself cursing as I pulled off my uniform and threw it onto the chair.

I ran a hand through my hair: I needed to get some air.

The night air is surprisingly fresh. Unlike the stale and damp air I seemed to smell during the rain, the night air is crisp and clear. The moon is exceptionally clear on this night after the rain.

I walked along the empty street. The street gas lamp flickered now and then. I thrust my hands into my pocket: where am I going?

I wondered aimlessly through the street without knowing where to go. Before I knew it, I was at the headquarters.

I smiled bitterly: so this is where I always end up, huh…

I scratched my head a little. It wouldn't hurt to try to get in right now, but the security should've locked the door.

Somehow, I still marched up to the gate and pressed onto it.

The sound of rusty gate squealed through the night. It was open.

I gaped a little. How could it be?

Immediately, I fumbled into my shirt pocket and lifted the ignition gloves out.

Damn it, it's not the time. But then again, I would like to blow off some steam at some idiot thief.

I walked cautiously into the HQ. The old familiar white building seems exceptionally foreign and mysterious at night. I wonder if there are any secrets I don't know about this place. I have been here for a while now after the East, but I never explored this place.

I quickly scanned the front yard. There seems to be no movement in the year what so ever.

So far, so good then, I glanced at the building. The faint light coming from the fourth floor immediately caught my attention.

It's my office.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been a while…I plan to keep this version longer so I'm going to expand the storyline now…╮(╯▽╰)╭….

(If anyone's interested in a depressing story, check out my new short story: Slow Death…it may be very spoiling though…and I don't think a lot of Royai fans would like it…XD)