A/N: So I wasn't very happy with this chapter when I first wrote it, but I worked on it and like it much better now. Thank you everyone for the reviews. I really do appreciate them; they often inspire me. I hope everyone in the US had a happy Thanksgiving!

CHAPTER 9

Jack turned off the ignition and rubbed his eyes wearily. The blowout with Sam had left him with feelings he hadn't expected. He had played his part in order to protect his family and had tried to emotionally detach himself from the scene. But at the moment he saw Sam's and Emily's heartbroken features, he realized that playing his family was a hell of a lot harder than playing a mark.

He hated himself for hurting them, yet he was doing this to keep them from greater pain. With every word that left his mouth, he hoped that somehow Sam would innately know he was lying, see through the charade through their deep connection. Of course this was incredibly irrational since the whole point was to make her believe his affair. Jack honestly just couldn't accept that she really thought he would ever cheat on her.

He would never have abandoned and wounded his family this way under normal circumstances. He wanted to shout to Sam that 'no, he couldn't explain things any better, because he barely knew how to handle it himself. And why the hell didn't she know him better?'

The part that bothered him the most about this whole ordeal, however, was the end of their conversation. Jack O'Neill had lost control. The Colonel was always in charge of his life and his actions, especially when it came to his home life. Jack watched himself very closely, because he was constantly worried he would screw up his second chance.

His frustration with everything was so massive. He loathed the emotional injuries he was forced to inflict on his wife and daughter. He despised leaving them.

And then she had brought up him. The O'Neill's had never completely worked through this issue in their marriage. Sam mostly assumed it was obvious that she no longer held any feelings for Pete, since she had married Jack. So for her to throw this in his face now was unimaginable to Jack.

He was undone by simply the thought of Pete coming anywhere near his family. This was a major insecurity for the Colonel. He'd never thought he was good enough for Sam: he was an old, callous, soldier, while Pete (Jack hated to admit) was young, energetic, and devoted. Why had his beautiful Major ever chosen to marry him?

Jack was sure of one thing, now; Sam would never want to see him again. After he had practically 'manhandled' her, he couldn't blame her. He had only seen blind rage at the situation, at himself, at the 'wonder-cop.' Using his physical strength against his wife was one thing that Jack had always promised himself he would never do, and he had even broken this vow.

Jack sighed at his impossible position and remembered the look in his little girl's pretty blue eyes when she understood that her daddy really was leaving. His mind flashed to the moment his wife's face turned from accusation to anguish and he hated himself for being the cause of it. His shoulders physically dipped from the weight of his mental worries.

Deciding that he could afford no more introspection, Jack grabbed the suitcase in the passenger seat. He slammed his truck's door and, with a dampened spirit, strode to the front door. He gave three solid raps on it and waited.

He heard her light footsteps approach, and she turned the lock. When she took in his weary appearance, sympathy showed in her eyes. She knew the deed had been done.

Janet's voice was soft as she relieved him of his suitcase, "Come in, Jack. I've sent Cassie to spend the weekend with my parents."

Jack just uttered a half-grunt in response as he continued into her kitchen. He opened a beer distractedly and Janet was surprised when he spoke, "You decided against the base then?"

Janet was momentarily confused and then realized that he had been listening about Cassie, "Yes. I figured at this point, Florida was safer than the SGC."

He nodded in understanding. The doctor gently probed, "So you told her…"

Jack took a long swig of his drink before answering, "Yep."

Janet sighed and knew she would have to ask him straight out, "And? How did she take it?"

He finished the rest of his beer in one gulp and reached to get another when Janet stopped him.

"No more, Jack. The tests…"

He froze, hand midway to the fridge. He pulled it back and ran his hand over his tired eyes.

"Have you eaten dinner?" She slowly ushered him to sit at the kitchen table. "How about I make you a little something?"

Jack didn't respond, so she took that as acquiescence and began heating some soup on the stove. She glanced over at the Colonel who sat seemingly emotionless. Janet knew better, though; he was only suppressing his feelings as a method of dealing with the pain.

Once again, Janet treaded on dangerous ground, "You didn't answer my question."

Gruffly, he said, "Food's fine; whatever."

She stirred the brew and tried to keep her tone neutral, "That's not what I meant. I was talking about Sam."

Irritation laced his answer, "I know that, Janet. I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, obviously. But keeping that inside won't help matters."

Harshly, he ripped out, "What the hell do you want me to say? That, yes, I told her. And yes, she was furious and hurt? That she couldn't even bare for me to look at her after knowing what you and I did? Is that what you wanted?"

Janet took a deep breath before answering. She carefully poured the heated soup into two bowls and carried them to the table. "You know that's not what I would ever want. I am just as far into this as you are, Jack."

He rubbed at his scalp as she set his food in front of him, "I'm sorry, Doc. I shouldn't be taking this out on you."

She sipped at her soup, "Just eat, Jack. You'll feel a little better."

He did as she instructed and ate, "I'll tell you one thing, Doc. We will make those bastards pay for this."

She met his eyes in seriousness, "You bet your ass we will. I am just as upset as you are, but we have to stick to the plan. And we have to keep our wits about us."

Jack gave a short laugh, "Wasn't I the one saying that to you in the beginning?"

She cleared their dishes, and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "This whole thing is hard, but we knew it would be. And I cannot regret having the chance to rid the world of the NID."

He straightened his shoulders, and responded with a strong voice, "You are right, Doc. We have a mission to carry out, and if we do our job correctly, we will never have to deal with the NID again."