Episode 28: A Vortex Of Confused Emotions

It hurt him to walk away from her much less it hurt even more to shrug her warm and delicate hand away. He knew that she was only trying to comfort him. He knew that but somehow, he did not want her touching him. He knew that he had betrayed her and broke his promise to her. The promise to care and watch over her. Instead of doing that, he did just the opposite. He had wounded her.

Isn't it ironic…?

Maybe, I should stay away from her…

Maybe, it is the only way…

In order to protect her and keep her safe from harm…

How could I hurt the one girl that I've vowed to be responsible for…?

She was supposed to be my responsibility…!

Am I only contradicting myself…?

He glanced back at the closed door of the room over his shoulder and then strode off, his head hung low.

How could I do this to her…?

I lost control and nearly killed her…!

A vulnerable and innocent girl…

Who had nothing to do with it all…

She was just unlucky enough to have undergone the unchanged outcome as me at that time…

And I pulled this on her…

Burdening her even further…

After that trauma…

It was all because of this sinister abhorrence that I have buried within my heart…

Abhorrence towards the Spiders…

That was terribly unleashed onto the both of them…

There, in that very room…

Kurapica felt lost as he struggled with his confused emotions, swirling about in his mind. He stepped out into the drizzle and began to walk away from the hotel as his tears began to merge slowly with the rain.

He looked up at the sky, rain droplets trickling down from the overcast black clouds, threatening to let loose yet another torrent of water down onto the Earth.

He smirked.

A coincidence, huh…?

The weather matches the state of my mind perfectly…

I could have stopped myself…

But, why couldn't I…?

Was it because I had indulged myself in it…

And enjoyed it so incalculably to even listen to her cry of plea and pain…?

I lashed out at her ruthlessly…

But…

She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his shoulder.

" Kurapica-san, he died. My father and brother were both murdered, " she sobbed. " My father told me to run and not look back. I-I was so terrified! "

She squeezed her eyes shut and started to tremble.

She looked so defenceless that night…

That night when she told me everything…

And all that time, she looked at me so very guilelessly…

Looking at me…

With those same coloured eyes like mine but with a different emotion there…

Happiness and warmth…

She had found a true friend in me…

After all, we had gone through the same nightmare together…

I just don't want to make her cry anymore…

I just don't want to see her endure the way she did back then…

I only want to see her happy always…

And smile, that smile of sweetness and innocence…

That very smile that could bring me some warmth…

I think I'll stay in the rain for a while longer…

Without looking back, Kurapica left as people began to rush past him to take shelter from the rain which was now pouring heavily.

Please forgive me, Hikari…

" Kurapica-san – "
I was about to go after the seventeen-year-old boy when Senritsu grabbed a hold of my arm.

" No Hikari, " Senritsu shook her head. " It is wise to just let him be. He needs time alone to sort his thoughts. He needs to think things over. "

" But he – " I began, glancing back at the closed door helplessly.

The woman shook her head, again.

" Please Hikari, not another word more from you, " she told me firmly. " He'll be fine on his own. "

Senritsu steered me over to the couch and forced me to sit down.

" You need to rest now, Hikari. I'm sure you must have been through a lot after you used your power like that. "

She took a towel and began to rub me, dry.

" You are soaked to the bone, my dear girl! " Senritsu exclaimed. " Just what happened to you when I left you at the forest? "

" I slipped and fell into the river while I was getting the herbs, " I answered, my voice muffled by the towel.

" My dear, you will definitely catch a cold if we don't get you dried off and into some warm clothes. "

She began to fuss over me like a mother hen would to its chick.

Soon, I was in the teddy-bear printed pyjamas that Mito-san had bought for me when we were still on Whale Island with a shawl wrapped around my shoulders and house slippers on my feet.

" Wait here. I'll get you something warm to drink, " Senritsu said and busied herself in the kitchen.

" Senritsu, he will come back…won't he? " I asked quietly, after a slight pause.

The woman banged around, opening drawers and cupboards, not answering my question although I knew she heard it quite audibly.

" Senritsu? " I called out, louder this time, tearing my eyes away from the door and looking over at the kitchen.

There was more rattling of pots and pans before her face appeared at the doorway.

" S-Senritsu, he will come back right? " I repeated, this time my voice racked with held back sobs.

Almost immediately, Senritsu's arms were around me, the warm drink apparently forgotten since she did not know where the things were kept.

" Hush now, my little one, " she comforted me, patting my back while I weep, clutching at the back of her blouse for support.

" He will come back, won't he? " I whimpered, looking up at the woman, hopefully.

Senritsu wiped my tears away from my moist cheeks with her thumbs and nodded.

" Yes, he will, Hikari. Don't you worry about it, he will come back. "

Despite her firm answer, somehow, I felt dubious.

I pray for your safety…

Daddy has always told me to have faith in the Gods above…

So now I pray…

For you to return here…

I need you here with me…

Kurapica-san…

Please come back…!