Episode 34: Light's Forgotten Child
We stayed that way for nearly an hour, in that awkward and clumsy embrace. He was sitting on the edge of the armrest while I on the floor. Both of us were silent, as we savoured the warm unknown feeling together, or at least that was what I thought.
" Hikari… " Kurapica began uncertainly, his hands still around me.
I opened my eyes and looked directly at the wall behind him. The moment was broken indefinitely. I sighed inwardly although was reluctant to answer but I did, anyway.
" What is it, Kurapica-san? " I asked him.
I felt his hands clutching the back of my shirt.
" Why do you still care for me even though I nearly killed you? "
Again, I sighed but this one was louder than the last. I pulled back, breaking the embrace. I held him at arm's length, gripping his shoulders. I stared directly into his eyes. The warm ones met the cold ones. His eyes held nothing but remorse ad sadness. There was even a trace of loneliness inside.
Unconsciously, my own ones started to tear as the tears welled up again in my eyes.
Although hesitant, I placed my hands on his cheeks.
" We're friends, aren't we? " I told him. " We'll get through this together. I still trust you, Kurapica-san. "
" Will you forgive me, Hikari? " he asked me.
At this, I could not hold as my tears spilled over and ran down my cheeks.
I pulled him to me and held him close.
" I can't forgive you, Kurapica-san… "
I felt him, stiffen in his posture.
" Because there is nothing to forgive, " I continued softly. " It's not your fault, you were under the influence of the Devil's Illusion. "
" But, it was my fault that you nearly died due to my misplaced anger. "
His voice sounded so harsh and totally unforgiving. It caused me to hug him even tighter.
" Kurapica-san, you have to forgive and forget, " I replied. " You mustn't hate yourself for this. "
After a few moments of silence, I finally broke the embrace and pulled away.
" Please, Kurapica-san, you have to learn to forgive yourself. Don't torture yourself because of this incident. Promise me that you will? "
He did not answer me, but instead, chose to look away. I placed my hands on his cheeks and forced him to look at me.
" If you can't do it, then at least you can do it for me? " I spoke softly. " Can you, Kurapica-san? "
Slowly but surely, he nodded his head.
" I'll do it, for your sake. Only for you…not for myself. "
I could not help but smile at his words.
" At least, that's a start! "
I grinned.
It was too infectious, I think because he smiled back at me although it was a small one.
I yawned sleepily and rubbed at my eyes. He turned sharply to look over at me.
" Hikari, you must be wiped out. I'm sorry for being such a burden to you. "
My eyes narrowed at this.
" No one is a burden to me. Not even you, Kurapica-san. "
" But still – " he began but I interrupted.
" You took me in and stayed by my side despite everything that has happened and for that, I'm eternally grateful to you, Kurapica-san… "
He did not answer me, yet again.
" Kurapica-san, are you going to sleep here, outside? " I asked him, changing the subject.
He nodded, wordlessly.
" Then, Hikari shall accompany you here! " I answered determinedly.
Without waiting for his reply of protest, I plunked myself down on the mat beside him.
It only took a few seconds for her to fall asleep. The girl must have been really exhausted, he thought.
Unconsciously, a fond smile crept to his smile as he gazed at her sleeping form.
How
could this sweet and innocent soul be tainted with the remnants of my
hidden anger…?
He
placed a hand on his cheek, the spot where it was warm from her soft
and delicate touch.
" Don't torture yourself because of this incident… "
" If you can't do it, then at least you can do it for me…? "
She was the perfect ideal for him. A pure and sweet person who has done no harm to anyone.
However…
He eased her head onto his lap, gently and smoothed out the soft yellow golden hair of hers that had concealed part of her face.
I can't seem to forgive myself for what I have done…
Hikari…
Ever so softly, he placed his hand on her cheeks.
You really are the Light of my life…
Light's Forgotten Child…
Once forgotten, now found…
If anything were to happen to her…
" Well, I was afraid of coming face to face with the Spiders so I kept running and never looked back, just like what my father told me to do… "
" Have you ever met one, Hikari…? "
" No, I haven't and I intend to keep it that way… "
I'll protect her at all cost…
After all…
She is someone different…
Someone that I can relate to…
With one last long look at her, he eased her head back onto the mat and laid himself down beside her, his face just inches from hers. Then, he too closed his eyes and was soon sleeping soundlessly.