Episode 39: Unexpressed Anger
It was slightly after midnight that the girl fell fast asleep. She was sleeping so soundlessly that she did not stir when Kurapica gently placed his blanket over her small and shivering body, all this Senritsu noticed.
" Well it's getting late, Kurapica, " she said, quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping
girl. " I suggest we should turn in as well since we need to get up early tomorrow morning. "
Kurapica turned his attention to his old friend who was sitting on a medium-sized rock, near the fire.
" Senritsu, about just now… " he began, his voice was wrecked with culpability. " I want to apologise for hiding it from you. "
The older woman gave him a small smile and shook her head.
" It's alright, that sweet child there managed to calm me down with her laughter, " she responded, teasingly, although it was true.
" Yeah… " he trailed off absently, glancing behind his shoulder, down at Hikari.
" The girl is just full of surprises, isn't she, Kurapica? " she asked him.
The boy immediately turned back to face her.
" Uhm, about Hikari… " the seventeen-year-old hesitated as he went over to sit down next to Senritsu.
" Hikari? " she echoed, looking at him inquisitively. " What about her? "
" Well… "
Senritsu noticed that he was having difficulties in bringing his point across to her. It was as if he was debating with himself on something or other which must be about Hikari. Senritsu could only guess. She could not read minds but by his heartbeats.
Yes…
Soft yet cautious…
With a hint of disbelief in it…
It looked like her assumptions might be at point blank. Correct, in a sense.
" Yes, you wanted to complete that sentence where you left of, didn't you? " Senritsu offered him, helpfully.
Wordlessly, Kurapica nodded.
" Uh-huh, so what was it that you wanted to say but you did not want to say in front of Hikari? " she asked.
" Well, actually the reason behind was that I had initially thought that she was dead, five years ago. In that sense, I decided to just let it go and get on with my life. That's why I did not think that it was necessary for you or anyone for that matter to know about her, " Kurapica explained finally. " But now… "
The woman smiled kindly at him and nodded.
" But now, it's different. She's still alive and she's in front of you, sleeping, is that it? You are still in shock, aren't you, Kurapica? "
The boy looked at her, vulnerability evident in his blue eyes, the exact colour as the girl's.
She hugged him.
" Don't worry, Kurapica. I know you are strong after having gone through that nightmare. You will learn to adapt and prove yourself again just like what you did in the past before Hikari even came into the picture. "
He did not reply as he pulled away from her, breaking the embrace.
" What's wrong, Kurapica? " the woman asked him, sensing the slight disturbance in the rate of his heartbeats.
" Don't you get it, Senritsu? " Kurapica hissed at her as he stood up and went over to Hikari.
He towered over her dangerously as she continued to sleep on, serenely, lulled by her sweet and naive dreams.
" Don't you get it, Senritsu? " Kurapica repeated. " Don't you understand what is constantly on my mind? "
The woman did not answer as she got up from her sitting spot and stood there.
" She's the weak-link…my weak-link. If the Spiders ever finds out about her or the fact that she is related to me… "
He spun round.
" She is my weak spot, Senritsu! She is the reason why I've become vulnerable than I was in the past with my friends. She can't even protect herself much less even know who the Spiders are, Senritsu! She's scared of them! " Kurapica told her, venting out all his frustration on her.
The woman knew that Kurapica was on the edge of a nervous breakdown from all the stress that had been burdening him for the past few days since Hikari's arrival into his life. Thus, all the more she wanted him to voice out his hidden feelings to her which he could never do, in front Hikari herself.
" And what's more…we're heading to that place, where we had our first and last encounter with them there! And, she's saying that she was so excited to get there just to witness the auction for herself. We don't even know the whereabouts of the Spiders and they might just pop out anywhere to wreak even more havoc than the last time since I placed Kuroro under my control. But, why are we going there in the first place, that's because of Raito-san, " he spat out the name of his superior in loathing.
The woman winced at the name of his superior which happened to be her superior as well.
She too did have a dislike towards the man. Ever since his daughter, Neon, whose ability the 'Lovely Ghost Writer' had been stolen, he had changed drastically. Now, there were only two bodyguards left after the rest of them had been murdered. They were that two.
Without warning, Kurapica sank down to his knees and buried his face in his hands.
" I don't know what to do, Senritsu… " he whispered at last, in a drained voice.
The woman looked down at him for a moment, to make sure that he was done before she hugged him.
" Don't worry too much, Kurapica. I'm here for you, now am I? " she comforted him. " Hikari is also here for you. After witnessing so many deaths in your life, don't you, at least feel glad that there is someone related to you, who is still alive when all this while, you thought that she was dead? Don't you feel comforted by her presence in your life? Hikari is someone vulnerable, yes, I agree but she is also someone whom you can count on and in a similar way, she is also counting on you to give her the simple pleasures of life that she has missed out and that we take for granted. Didn't you see how happy she was when we went into the forest together, with her, holding hands? Isn't that reward just enough? What I want to suggest to you is for you to tell her the whole truth about your past and why you became a Hunter, Kurapica… "
At this, the boy looked up.
" But… "
" No, all I'm saying is that let things take its own course. You don't have to worry about the minor details about Hikari's safety if only you'll just tell everything to her. I'll be willing to bet that she would be more than happy to listen to your warnings. The reason why she's stubborn at times, is because she feels that you don't trust her enough to tell her anything about you when after all this while, she has told you everything and you know everything about her. Learn to open your heart more, Kurapica. Although I can see some progress with the girl, you have to learn to trust and believe in her as well. If you do that, I just know that wonders will happen… "