Episode 43: The Trust Factor
I could hardly contain my temper towards Kurapica as I lay in bed, wide awake with the blanket hanging overhead. It really was the last straw…or maybe the second-last straw. I did not know.
What's wrong with him…?
Can't he at least be nicer….?
When
was the last time he was ever nice to me…?
I
sighed when I thought of how he had showered me with lots of
attention and a little fondness here and there.
My hand reached into the pocket of my dress and pulled out the mobile phone that Kurapica had bought for me on my last day at Whale Island. I turned it around in my hand, fiddling with it.
What about the time where he hugged me in the hotel…?
Or that time where he bought me that candy apple and those pyjamas too…?
And, that other time where he stood up for me at the clothing store…?
Almost instantly, I felt guilty at having yelled at him.
However, a spiteful image of that stupid girl flashed through my mind and immediately, I felt another rush of anger.
Hmph…!
He doesn't need me…
Kurapica-san only has eyes for that stupid 'toffee' girl…!
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and shook my head violently, to clear that image away.
" Hikari, you are jealous, aren't you? "
" It's alright to feel this way, Hikari. It's normal for girls, your age. After all, Kurapica has always pampered you with all his attention. You are just not used to him giving his attention to someone else especially if it involves a girl. "
Am I really that envious of her…?
But, I know I'm not…
However, if and only if that were so…
Then, why do I feel so irritated whenever 'toffee' girl speaks with him…?
Was that the cause of my anger displayed towards Kurapica-san…?
For payback at having him talking and showering his attention towards someone else other than me and Senritsu…?
Am I accusing him of that deliberately by doing so…?
I sighed crestfallen after pondering over that question for a few long moments but coming up to no conclusion. Nothing. Zilch. Nada.
That question required an answer which eluded me completely. For once, I was at a loss and did not know what to do.
I heard murmuring coming from the foot of my bed and I strained my ears to hear what the two of them were saying. Eavesdropping was wrong, true but I did not care.
Besides, a little more mischief would not hurt. At least, looking back on how I had blatantly showed defiance towards the seventeen-year-old. Not that I really cared though, he could have that little hussy of a 'toffee' girl for himself!
I certainly did not need him to take good care of little old me. I am perfectly…in fact, more than capable of taking care of myself like I once did for the last five years neither depending nor burdening anyone.
Nevertheless, I could not help but curse that stupid girl.
How dare she…!
Suddenly, I heard my name being mentioned in their conversation. Very discreetly, I shifted myself to eavesdrop on them, more easily.
" What's gotten into her, Senritsu? " Kurapica was complaining. " I just don't get it! "
" Patience, Kurapica. Hikari's just experiencing what most girls do at her age, a major mood swing, " the woman answered.
There, underneath the hot and suffocating blanket, I fumed. That caused me to nearly choke since I did not dare breathe while I seethed.
Senritsu…!
I'm NOT experiencing a mood swing…!
I'm really pissed off…!
It's not just any mood swing…!
This is real antagonism…!
I heard Senritsu chuckle in amusement as if she could read my thoughts.
" Oh Kurapica, Hikari is growing into a young adult just like you. You have to be more understanding and tolerant with her and not blow your top off like that. "
GROWING…?!
I'm not GROWING…!
Well…uh…
Maybe…
Technically speaking, I AM growing…
But NOT because of that…!
That is so NOT the point…!
" Oh, I-I see, " was all Kurapica said.
I could hear the awkwardness in his voice.
Unable to take it anymore, I flipped the blanket to the side and got up to my feet, wobbling slightly as I did so from the sudden head rush.
" I'm not having a mood swing, Senritsu! And I'm not having growing pains, either! " I snapped crossly. " I'm absolutely fine and dandy! "
I folded my arms in defiance and glared accusingly at Kurapica.
" Kurapica-san, is it wrong for me to go off exploring on my own when you, yourself would always do things solo? "
The boy was at a loss for words. It seemed that he did not know what to say. He was too stunned by my outburst.
" Hikari… " Senritsu began. " Please calm down. "
" But why?! " I exclaimed. " Why is it that you know everything about me when I don't even know anything about you?! Why are you always keeping secrets from me?! WHY?! "
" HIKARI! "
The next thing I knew was Senritsu's hand on my cheek as my head swung to the side by its impact. Crap, did it throb real bad.
Instinctively, my hand went up to cover my stinging cheek as I stared at her, blankly.
" S-Senritsu…? " I whispered, traumatized.
" Hikari, you don't even know what Kurapica is going through right now, " Senritsu told me.
" Why can't you just be more patient with each other?! " Senritsu demanded, this time to the both of us. " Is there a need to fight with each other?! We have been travelling together for the past one month. "
I directed my gaze at the floor, ashamed of myself.
" Hikari, you don't even know what Kurapica is going through right now… "
Just when are you going to tell me everything…
Kurapica-san…
When…?!
How long do I have to wait for you…?
For you to trust me well enough to tell me…?
" Kurapica will take good care of me. I trust him… "
That was what I said to you back then…
Didn't you remember Kurapica-san…?
I trust you with all my heart…
But…
Do you even have a single ounce of trust in me…?
Note from 'moi': OMG!! You guys (Ritsikas and Stelra Etnae), I sincerely love you because you are the only ones who bothers to review my story repeatedly and urge me to push on. Thank you! sobbing