Episode 61: Phrase Of Friendship

" What would Hikari have thought when she saw you like this? " he yelled at his friend's back. " Have you ever spared a single thought about those around you?! Don't you think everyone is hurt just like you are?! Don't you think that everyone is also going through the same thing just like you are, right now?! Everyone is suffering just like you are, Kurapica! We are all in pain! You can't just shun us away and lock yourself up in your own world, blaming yourself for everything that has gone wrong! You'll be driven to insanity, Kurapica! Why can't you just understand that we're all here for you?! That we'll always be by your side no matter what happens?! Why can't you understand this simple

fact?! "

Kurapica eyes widened at Gon's words which stuck him, painfully. He clutched his hair as those words unlocked the hidden memories which he had gathered, away, in the farthest reach of his mind.
His comrades.

No, they were my friends…

Through and through…

Till the end…

Where I was the only survivor…

Or so I had thought…

Hikari…

Wasn't she the one who suffered the most…?

I had only revenge to push me on…

To go on living so that one day…

I could have my revenge on them...

I grew up with a numbing sensation about those around me…

But she…

My childhood friend was driven away from the society…

After her family was murdered before her eyes…

Unlike me, she wasn't numb…

Hikari had feelings…

" I saw it. I saw my father. He died in front of my eyes… "

" Well, I was afraid of coming face to face with the Spiders so I kept running and never looked back, just like what my father told me to do… "

She was scared…

But now…

Everything was different for me…

After she came and touched me in a way no one could ever have done…

I felt something for the first time…

Something weird…

It was like I was feeling again…

" I'm not someone who fears death, Hikari… "

Lately, that was something that substantiate as something fallacious…

" Hey, Kurapica… "

He opened his eyes and looked down at his friend.

" Are you alright? " Gon was looking at him with the same concerned but with a tinge of warmth in it, look that Hikari too had. " I'm sorry that I lashed out at you but I felt that I had to tell you how I really felt. "
A lump had formed in his throat as he swallowed.

" I'm sorry, Gon… " the older boy murmured as he hugged his friend.

***

It had been over an hour since Killua's appearance.

" Guess…you'll see more of me, Hikari, " the twelve-year-old teased as he leaned against the wall opposite to where I was currently sitting.

" Killua, gomen-ne, " I apologised. " Because of me, you were brought into this

mess. "

" Hey, hey. It's alright, okay? " the boy answered quickly.

I could see that apologies made him awkward.

" But at least, I have someone to talk to now, " he added when he saw my crestfallen expression.

" Eh? "

I blinked my eyes.

Unexpectedly, Killua's face turned a light shade of pink.

" Ne Killua-kun? You're blushing. "

" Who said so?! " he yelled, turning his back to me. " Baka! "

I laughed.

" So, why did you come here? " I asked him, grinning.

Killua appeared to have recovered from his embarrassed phase for the flush was gone when he turned to me again.

" Gon wanted to surprise you with our arrival, " the young boy answered. " It's been a long while, hasn't it? "

I nodded, patting to the space beside me. Killua came over and sat down.

" Yeah, well…we thought we could have a little get-together with you guys, but then they ambushed us… "

The mischievous flicker that was in his eyes, just a moment ago. vanished to be replaced by dull resentment.

" We had no chance! Gon…Gon and Leorio, they were wounded pretty badly. "

His fist slammed against the hard cold, stone floor.

" We had to surrender… " he continued. " And I-I-I couldn't even do anything to help them! Dammit! "

" Oh… "

" That's why…That's why, I'm going to protect Hikari! It's the least that I could do after – "

I did not allow him to continue his sentence as I pulled him into my arms and embraced him.

The twelve-year-old gasped.

" H-Hikari…? "

" Killua-kun, I know what you're thinking and I want you to stop that, " I spoke up softly. " Please don't ever…not even once, let it cross your mind, that you're worthless. Because you're NOT! "

" Hikari… "

" I understand your feelings, Killua-kun but you can't pass yourself off just like that because there is something that you can do…only you can do it. "

I felt him, clutching the back of my blouse.

" I like Killua-kun just the way you are, " I continued. " So, please don't ever say

that. "

I pulled myself away from him but he still held on to me.

" Hikari? " he mumbled. " Can we stay like this for a while longer? "

I laughed and wrapped my arms around him again, " Sure, we can! "

" Hikari, you know… " he seemed uncertain but he carried on anyway. " I've never hugged or talk to a girl before except for Mito-san but that's because she's

different. "

I patted his head.

" I'll always be here if you ever need a hug or just someone to hear you out. I'll always be beside you. Because you're my friend, Killua-kun. Remember that phrase well… "