Harry and his husband had decided not to announce the pregnancy just yet. At least not publically. Lucius knew Harry was scared. And not just because of being pregnant. As much as Harry did not want to be pregnant he cared about the baby. He did not want to have the baby hurt. And he was scared of his former friends. He had seen how they reacted to the marriage. Lucius shared Harry's concern for the baby. They both remembered his wrist. And the threats had never stopped. Harry might not want a baby but he would never want to risk the baby he carried. The baby was a part of him. He could not escape that. He wasn't sure he wanted to. He hated who the Daddy was. And he definitely hated how young he was. But this was an innocent baby. He or she had no power over when they were conceived. And they deserved a Papa who loved them. Harry always wanted kids. He had not chosen this but he would attempt to be the best Papa he could. His baby deserved that. After what Sirius had done he was even more insistent of that. He would be the best Papa he could manage. His baby would never know the pain he had, he swore.
The first week of February brought a new step. Remus as well as Oliver had come. Charlie had work. He promised like Fred for the ultrasound to be there. Harry's sonogram was scheduled for the first weekend. They swore they would be there. Harry would hear the baby' heart beat for the first time. He had mixed feelings. Draco had been invited by both Harry and his dad. Draco wanted to be a part of it. Harry wanted the baby to have their big brother in their life properly as well.
Harry lay on the bed waiting as Remus had not arrived yet but Oliver and Draco were there and his husband. He could see Lucius was happy. He did feel somewhat bad his husband had not been there for the test. He knew Lucius wanted to do things right this time. And at least he was here for this.
Harry squeezed his husband's hand. "I am glad you are here for this. I am sorry about the test; this baby is as much yours as mine."
Lucius bent down and kissed him. "I told you I understood about the test. I am just glad I am here for this. I swore I'd be here for it all, even symptoms."
Though Harry had not had morning sickness since Christmas he had to be a bit careful about what he ate. He knew there was a chance it could come back. It often did during the first trimester. Harry would be happy if it did not. His first month was hard enough. But at least now Lucius knew. Harry would not need to try and hide it. He had yet to see his husband in action. He still wondered how well he would handle pregnancy symptoms. Lucius did not seem like the kind to deal with it too well.
Remus appeared in the door with Mira. "I am sorry we're late cub. Once you little one comes you will know how much a baby can slow you down."
Harry laughed and accepted his sister. "I will ask how it went later. I want to start this."
Remus kissed him on the head. He had gone to speak to Sirius earlier that day. Sirius had sent word he had wanted to talk. Remus hoped he wanted to apologize. He did in a way. He apologized for burning the letter. But he still refused to admit he was wrong about Harry. And had gone so far as to forbid Remus from seeing Harry. Remus had not told Sirius they were about to become grandparents. He did not think the man would care. He hoped one day he would. Remus wanted to go home. Mira missed her Papa. Remus missed him too. If Sirius had left off the part of forbidding Remus from seeing their son he would have gone home. Sirius making peace with Harry had not been a term. But he would not be kept from his son. And Mira would not be kept from hr brother. The kids were his number one priority always. And soon to be his grandbaby. He would help Harry with looming fatherhood. And he would be there for Harry and the baby after. He would never let them down again.
Poppy started the test and the room filled with the sound of a heart beat. Harry was in tears. "That is my baby?"
Lucius laughed and kissed him but there were tears in his eyes a bit too. "That is our little one. Poppy how is the baby doing?"
Smiling she assured both men the baby was strong. It was another month before he could tell for sure the gender. She could have told them her guess now. But both me shook their heads. They would rather wait till they knew one way or another for sure. Harry could not deny it. He was kind of looking forward to the ultrasound. The heart beat helped. But he felt no bond with the little one. He was told carriers felt a bond. And he was worried. He was worried he might never love the little baby. He hoped when he saw the baby on the ultrasound it might help. Remus had told him that and when Harry started feeling the baby move, he would feel more a bond.
As the test was ending Oliver hugged him. "You know Charlie wished he could have been here for this. But he will be for the ultrasound and for the birth I promise."
Harry returned the hug. "Thanks Oliver. You know my baby will need his Uncles Oliver and Charlie. Maybe give it a cousin to go to school with."
Oliver smiled and reminded Harry that he and Charlie were trying. They had been since they married. Unlike Harry they wanted a baby. They were older and ready for kids. Charlie would carry for he had a desk job. It would be too dangerous with Oliver playing. He did not want to miscarry because he did not know he was pregnant. It was of course the same reason Harry was forbidden from quidditch this year. If the baby had bee born earlier in the summer he may have been allowed to try out for quidditch next year and play for hi new team but he would be in no shape. And the baby besides would keep him busy. He could handle sticking with coaching anyways. He actually enjoyed it.
Lucius handed him a stuffed bear when they got home. "I thought we'd wait on the nursery for a bit but I thought this might be fitting today."
Harry kissed his husband on the cheek. "Thank you for this Lucius. And I guess in a month we can find out if this should go from green to pink or blue."
Harry was a bit worried. He was kind of happy they had not found out the gender. He was a bit scared if it was a girl. Hi husband kept talking about heirs. He was certain his husband wanted sons. The baby would have a hard enough time with a Papa not ready to be one without adding a daddy who resented it for being a girl. He would have loved a daughter. But he prayed it was a son. The baby should have at least one daddy who loved it with all their heart. Harry was scared he could not. The longer he was pregnant and felt no bond with the baby the more worried he would be that he could not be a proper Papa to their child.
Lucius watched his husband go for a bath and thought. 'I would not mind turning it blue but it would be amazing if it was pink this time.'
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The morning of Slytherin's second game of the season, a week after the sonogram started earlier then needed. Harry may have thought he had it bad back at the start of his pregnancy. But it was nothing compared to his baby's hello to him that morning. He barely pulled himself free of his husband's arms and stumbled to the bathroom in time before it started. He was grateful for the cool porcelain of the toilet for he could not even get up and rested his head against it as he dry heaved.
He was surprised when he felt a cool cloth and his husband's worried voice. "I guess the sickness was not over. Come on, I'll get you back to bed my love."
Harry leaned against his husband's arms "Sorry for waking you up."
Helping Harry back into bed against some stacked up pillows He reminded Harry he had promised to help him through it all. And he had meant it. He called for some dry toast and herbal tea for Harry. He reminded Harry that they had to be up soon for the game anyways. Harry was grateful for the toast and thanked his husband for it and for being there. Harry wondered if he would be there through it all but he was glad he had been there that morning for him.
As he headed for the field to meet up with his team he was feeling slightly better with the cool air before he heard a voice. "There is the sick fag, pregnant yet?"
Harry turned to see Ron but before he could say something Ginny added. "Never know the Gods might be smart and not let another evil abomination be conceived."
Trying to keep his hands from his belly Harry did not respond and turned and headed off. He might not be bonded with the baby yet but he did not like anyone calling his little one an abomination. Draco saw his look when he got down and Harry quietly explained. Draco was pale. It was another reminder why they had not told most. Draco made Harry promise to be careful and tell Lucius. Harry did though he waited till after the game. His mood at least picked up a bit when his team had won.
Lucius looked ready to kill when he heard. "You will not go any where alone. And if those red heads even say anything again I swear they will regret it."