Wow! Two chapters in one day! I am FLYIN'! Anywho, sort of an emotional chapter, hence the name. Hope you like it. I do. Let me know what you think and cast your vote on the poll on my profile. :D oh and... REVIEW!

17

Emotions

Lisa stood in her office biting her lip as she packed everything into a box. He'd find out, she knew he'd find out. She couldn't hide it from him long. The only thing that comforted her was that he was occupied with Serena's condition and not the cause but it was only a matter of time before he started asking those questions. The memory of it frightened her. Why, why had it happened to Serena? Why of all the other interns had she managed to pick the one who wasn't ready? Lisa closed her eyes, reliving the moment the intern was helping move Serena from the gurney to the OR table. He had been nervous and didn't have a firm enough grip on the woman, he'd dropped her. She'd fell and cracked her head on the OR floor spilling blood onto the crisp white tile. In that moment Serena had stopped screaming, stopped her almost violent convulsions and had lay on the floor still. Lisa knew that it would be the end of her career, she had let Serena Tsukino, the only person Darien Shields loved; fall to the floor.

The panic that had ensued after that was all a blur. She had to perform the C-section and simultaneously somehow take care of Serena's head. If it weren't for an extra doctor happening to be free she knew Serena would have died. Lisa had done her best to handle the situation but Serena had fallen into a coma. They tried everything to wake her up, but to no avail. Serena had only lay there, silent and unmoving, the steady and slow beep of the heart monitor the only noise in the room.

Then there was her lie. Serena hadn't gone into shock, she hadn't had a seizure, even if she had, the poor woman would not be in a coma right now and it was Darien's blind rage, combined with trust that kept him from seeing the lie in her eyes. At the time it was all she could do to tell the lie, even more to try and transfer some of the blame to him. She hadn't known what to do but she knew what she HAD to do now. She had to run. No matter where she went she knew Darien would slander her name… well, it wasn't slander when it was true. The only place she could continue to practice medicine now was Mexico. Even there she may not even be able to, it was hard to tell what connections Darien really had.

She knew she should tell him the truth, but that would also put the intern into danger and she didn't want that. He was a good guy and the moment he'd dropped Serena his face had dropped. She had told him not to worry or say anything to anyone about it. The incident was not to leave the room, and Darien especially could never know. Oh how she wanted to tell him.

The sound of her door opening made her freeze and turn around to see Darien's sister Raye. "I was told to tell you that you have five minute until he comes here and… well, you get the picture." Lisa nodded and threw the rest of her belongings into the box. "I'm sure you were great in there. Nothing much you could have done with her going into shock and all."

"Yeah." Lisa nodded numbly and picked up the box. "Look… if… if things turn out badly just… tell him I'm so sorry." Raye looked down wringing her hands. If things turned out badly she knew what would happen. Lisa would be telling him she was sorry in person, right before she begged for her life.

"Okay, I'll try… but… I think… you should get as far away from here as possible. He won't take kindly to any of this and frankly I'm surprised he's behaved this well." Lisa knitted her brow and looked at the beautiful raven-haired woman. "He'll kill you if she dies."

"What? No he won't." Lisa's eyes widened considering the possibility. There was no reason he couldn't. He had all the power in the world to be able to slaughter her and get away with it. Raye nodded sadly, contradicting Lisa's statement. "Why me? I'm not the one who dropped…" Lisa shut her mouth as Raye looked at her in surprise. "Never mind. Don't tell him anything okay?" The brunette quickly walked past Raye and into the hall so she could leave as fast as she could carry herself.

Raye slowly exited the office and made her way back to Serena's room where Darien was sitting, one hand holding hers and the other working on the paperwork Lisa had brought over. When Darien noticed her he sighed. "What should it be Raye? Darren or Damien?" Raye lowered her head. She felt guilty, it wasn't her place to say but she would answer if he wanted her to. "Raye?"

"I… I think… umm… Darren. If you name him Damien then people will call him Dame and then he'll get picked on." She looked into his eyes to see confusion setting in. The paperwork had taken his mind off of all the questions he had about Serena's condition, essentially numbing him however, the thought of anyone picking on his son puzzled him. She could understand why. What child in their right mind would pick on anyone related to Darien Shields? "I don't know, what did Serena think?"

"Don't talk about her in past tense Raye, she's right here and she's not dead." Darien shot and looked back down on his son's birth certificate. "She wanted to name him Darien, after me… I was too selfish to say yes to that. You know? It's my name, my legacy, and I didn't want to share it with anyone, not even my own son but… then… it's not really fair of me to ask for Serena to share her name too right?" He smiled. "If that's what she wants… then Darien it is." Raye watched as Darien wrote his own name on the certificate following it with "Jr.". She couldn't help but smile, it really was a touching moment, and it was a shame that Serena wasn't awake to witness it. "Is she gone?"

"Oh… yeah, she'd gone. Ran out of here quick as a bunny." She smiled and sat in a cream colored chair in the corner. "So… who are you going to have separate the twins?" Raye asked more out of curiosity than anything else. If he could she knew he'd do it himself but as it was he had to find someone else.

"The only other person I trust at this hospital." He said bitterly and stood. "Stay here with her. I have to go and talk to him to see if he'll do the procedure." Raye nodded giving Darien the go ahead to leave. He quickly walked to the hospital director's office and knocked.

"Yes? Come in!" The voice chanted happily. The man's face dropped as he saw Darien step into the room. "Hey, Darien… what can I do ya for?" The man winked and leaned back in his brown leather chair his long white hair pulled back in a pony tail. "Heard about the twins, congrats."

"Right… Well Malachite, I wanted to know if you would consider separating them?" A large smile spread across the man's face as he clapped lightly. Darien had to admit, he hated asking for help, though he trusted Malachite he knew that no one could do as good of a job as he himself would.

"Of course! I'm glad you asked me… why don't you ask Lisa though?" Malachite knitted his brow as he watched Darien sneer. "Angry with her huh? Eh don't be too tough on her." Malachite stood and placed a hand on Darien's shoulder. "I'll take care of the little ones, you go back to your woman." Darien smiled thankfully and walked back to the hospital room where Raye was looking at Serena with worry in her eyes. He sighed heavily and sat in his chair once more grabbing hold of her hand.

That was where he stayed for the next twenty-four hours. Raye was in charge of bringing him food and checking on the twins who had been successfully separated. Each time she stopped by the nursery she would look at the two sleeping soundly and smile. How beautiful and precious they were, yet Darien hadn't come to see them yet. His world was Serena, without her by his side he would refuse to see them, and Raye knew it.

On her way back she was stopped by an attractive man, he was obviously an intern. His brown eyes scanned hers with a certain hesitation before he spoke. "You're his sister right?" She nodded. "Look, you need to convince him to leave the room, go look at the kids, eat something I don't care but I have to check on something and he can't be there to see okay?" His voice revealed how edgy he was.

"He's not leaving that room for anything. Sorry." She shrugged and began to walk down the hall wondering what the man had to do that Darien couldn't watch. "Whatever you need to do you're just going to have to do with him there." She then walked into the room and sat in her chair surveying her brother and his fiancé. "Hmmm." She hummed aloud-making Darien look at her questioningly. "Don't mind me, I'm just wondering what someone would need to do with Serena without you here."

"What?" Darien snapped, his entire body becoming alert. She watched as he grabbed her chart and looked at it carefully. "Nothing, that's what… unless…" He narrowed his eyes and looked at Serena carefully. "Something's off here. I didn't believe it then and I don't now. There's no reason for her to be in a coma. A seizure wouldn't do that to her, no way." He stepped closer to the bed and began to examine her closely. His hands moved over her limbs and torso, checking carefully for any signs of injury. None. Then he sighed and looked into Serena's face petting her head lightly. He then tucked his hand behind her head and froze feeling something odd. "What the hell is that?" He growled angrily and lifted Serena from her pillow. As his eyes fell on the stitches in the back of her head his face went red.

"What? Dare, what?" Raye stood and looked at his now very angry face. "What?" She asked once more as Darien lowered her back down and balled his fists trying to contain his temper. "Dare?" Raye backed up.

"They dropped her! They fucking dropped her on her head!" He stormed into the hallway and scanned his eyes over the nurses until he saw one trying very hard not to make eye contact with him. Without hesitation he marched over to her and grabbed the poor woman by the shoulders, lifting her so her face was level with his. "Who dropped her?" Her eyes widened with fear as she open and closed her mouth. He watched her lips part and come back together, obviously forming words but he didn't hear them. Instead he saw her point to a young male intern.

Instantly he dropped the woman and turned to the man who was backing away quickly. Darien was furious, simply furious. "Darien… now… wait…" The man pleaded and held up his hands. A symbol of submittal, but Darien was too angry to notice or care. His Serena was in a coma because some idiotic intern had dropped her on her head, a pregnant woman! Not just any pregnant woman either, no this was HIS woman. Whoever this man thought he was to be able to cover it up was grossly underestimating the infamous Darien Shields. As he neared the man a sound caught his ear, it was the sound of an alarm and panicking nurses. His instincts kicking in Darien turned to the nurses, watching them scramble into Serena's room. Then the noise dawned on him. That was the flat line alarm.

The next few moments felt like an eternity to him. He knew he was running, he knew he was booking it to Serena's room but it wasn't fast enough, it was almost as if the ground was moving underneath him, acting as a treadmill but he never got any closer. In fact it wasn't until he found himself watching the nurses and one doctor trying desperately to resuscitate Serena that the gravity of the situation hit him. She was dying, he could actually lose her.

His whole life he'd placed little value on other people's lives, they were only people; but Serena was different. She was his, she was everything. What was worse, was that they had brought two children into the world. If she died now she would never be able to see them. She wouldn't see their first steps, hear their first words, the first time Rini brought an unsuspecting boy home… she would miss it all if she didn't live and that was too much for him to bear. Her body lurched as the doctor operated the electrical paddles.

His heart all but stopped as the doctor looked at the monitor, Darien knew that look. It was the look of a defeated man, the look of a doctor who'd just lost a patient. He'd seen it many times before, never really understanding it, until now. As the man bowed his head in despair the monitor beeped, then beeped again. A pulse! Darien fell to his knees, never before feeling as grateful as he felt now. She was alive, her heart was beating, she got to spend more time alive with him, with their children. "Way to hustle people!" The doctor congratulated the team of nurses. "Hey, Doctor Shields, I won't let her die. You once saved my wife and I wouldn't dream of allowing your future wife go. Darien nodded his appreciation numbly thinking about all the people he'd watched die. Every last person who's life had faded right in front of him. Had they known people who felt so… attached? "Hey… bud?"

"Thank you Alex… I can never thank you enough. She's everything to me." Alex frowned and sat on the floor next to his boss as everyone filtered past them. "I… I don't think I could live without her. She left me once, for a month… that was hard but I knew I could get her back. I can't get her back if she dies…" Darien looked at Serena lying helplessly in the bed. "Karma I suppose."

"Hey, even if you do lose her… dude, you have two beautiful, healthy little ones. You will always have her with you because those two are half her, and two halves make a whole right?" Alex reasoned and leaned against the wall. "Serena won't leave you this time Darien, just as long as you don't let her go." Darien nodded and looked at the man appreciatively. "Look, I've gotta go and watch my other patients. I'll be back."

"I'm going to either fire or kill that intern." Darien glared at the frightened intern running down the hall to avoid him. "He dropped her in the OR… DROPPED her!" Alex sighed recognizing the fact that Darien needed someone to divert his fear to.

"No, you just stay here with Serena." Alex stood and walked away leaving Darien with his thoughts. "I'll come and check on you later." Darien nodded and looked into the room now noticing Raye who was previously hiding in the corner trying to stay out of the medical personnel's ways.

"I think it's best to stay here Dare, no need to get all worked up and go after him. I mean, the guy made a mistake I'm sure it's not totally uncommon…" Darien held up his hand cutting her off midsentence. He didn't care if it was a mistake, his mistake could cost Serena her life and no mistake is worth his angel's life.

A week passed and Serena had showed little if any improvement. Darien had remained by her side constantly and was now shaggy looking. He hadn't shaved or washed his hair the whole time and it concerned his sister. Even Seiya had dropped by and told him he looked like crap, the insult had little effect of course. "Dare, go home, you need to clean yourself up and take care of yourself. You can't be of any use to Serena if you're not in top shape yourself."

"Look, I'm not leaving her alone. Understand me? I love her and the one time I stepped out of here she almost died on me!" Darien said defeated then hung his head. "You know what the irony is here?" He chuckled lightly. "I know everything about medicine, I know so much, yet none of my knowledge, none of my influence or power, not even my money can restore her to me. One… idiot, one mistake and now she's teetering on the brink of death. It's not right. I'm the one that deserves to be laying there, Serena's never done anything bad." Raye hung her head in defeat. It was clear that Darien had made up his mind and had plenty of time to think about it.

"At least go and see your children Darien. Do you even realize that you haven't seen them?" He only looked up at her numbly. He wanted to go and see them, he wanted to hold them, but he didn't want to be first. He wanted Serena to see them. "Please Dare. What are you going to say to Serena when she wakes up and asks you how the children are?"

"Fine, I'll go and see them but you're staying here." Darien slowly rose and walked out of the room to the nursery. The large window opened up to a good sized room with many different bassinets, there was only one however that held two infants. The nurse stepped up to the window and nodded upon seeing him. His blue eyes followed the woman to the bassinet with the two and wheeled it over to the window. Darien, ignoring regular procedure walked to the door and used his access code to enter making the woman jump.

"Doctor Shields! I must protest! You have germs all over you and…" She silenced herself remembering who she was speaking with. Darien was not the man to argue with, especially with his fiancé in a coma.

"Why are they together? These bassinets weren't made to hold two children." Darien said in his usual cold tone. The two babies in front of him were beautiful and precious, their faces peaceful as they slept facing one another.

"They cry when separated… it disturbs the others…" She hesitated and looked at them lovingly. "They the prettiest little things I've seen in a long time." Her smile soon faded as Darien frowned. "Have I said something?"

"No, they are perfect… it's just… their mother…" His voice almost broke as he placed one hand on Rini's head making her stir and consequently wake her brother. The two didn't cry, rather they opened their eyes and looked at one another before closing their eyes again.

"Would you like to hold them?" The nurse offered and stepped forward hoping he would say yes. It was a rare occasion to see Darien Shields in an emotional state and this was certainly one of those moments. She didn't want to miss any of it either.

"Yes, I would." He nodded and gently managed to pick them both up. The pair were so small compared to him that they seemed like dolls. Darien was the first to open his eyes making Darien gasp. It was as if he were looking at himself. Darien Jr. had his blue eyes, and he could tell that the little one had black hair. Rini on the other hand remained still until Darien made a soft noise almost as if to tell her it was okay to look. She opened her eyes and blinked a few times, again, his eyes. Rini however had blonde hair, and she was the first to smile between the two. "Hi." He cooed softly and smiled as Rini's smile broadened. She was only an infant but he could tell she would be just like her mother.

"Look at that. They know their daddy." The nurse smiled warmly and admired the group.

"Of course they do. We have similar scents. They can smell the genetic link." The woman stared at him with disbelief. How dull the world must seem to a man like Darien Shields. He didn't see the world like a normal person. A normal man would look at his children and marvel at the fact that he could have helped create such a perfect baby. A normal man would have pondered the child's ability to recognize him despite the fact they had never met. Darien however, didn't marvel at it. He didn't ponder anything. His knowledge of the world numbed him from all things, both good and bad.

"Is there nothing that you enjoy in this world Doctor Shields?" Her sad question surprised him. What was she talking about? As if she could read his mind she responded. "You are just now meeting your children, resting your eyes on them for the first time yet… you… you see nothing spectacular. Do you really only see cells and strategically arranged DNA sequences? Can you really not appreciate the wonder, in holding your own children?" Her eyes were almost teary as she finished her question leaving him standing in front of her wide eyed. As they stood amongst the newborns his face softened into a smile.

"I never said that I wasn't in awe over them. To answer your question… yes, I enjoy many things in this life. It's just that, the person I love most in this world is in a coma and these two are not just mine. They are hers as well and I'm… I'm trying my best not to just break down right now. The only reason I'm able to stand here right now is if I focus on the not so amazing aspects of everything." The woman nodded not wanting to witness him breaking. Doctor Darien Shields was known for being cold, inhuman almost. The fact that he had just admitted to her his humanity was shocking. "You know… I don't even know… who I'm supposed to be anymore." He laughed and set the twins back in their bassinets. They immediately began to cry unhappy with him leaving them. "I'll be back. I promise." He smiled and patted them both lightly calming their crying. "I have to get back to Serena."

"Doctor Shields!" The woman cried as he went to leave. He paused and looked at her his eyes glistening a bit. "Th… thank you for sharing with me. I won't tell a soul." He smiled and nodded, walking out of the nursery and into the hall. The tears in his eyes glittering under the florescent lights and as a lone tear slipped down his cheek he wished none of this had happened. He could handle loving Serena, he could cope with having children, but he couldn't bare the pain his heart felt when something went wrong. In that moment he wanted things to go back to the way they used to be, the way he was when he was alone. The one thing he did know though, was that pain was one of the symptoms of being in love. Pain was evidence, that he had something to lose.