Chapter 17 is here! This whole chapter is for Fai, so Kurogane fans will have to wait for the next chappie!

It's been days since he fully recovered from the illness, probably a whole week or more being in this hell-hole. All three of them waited, waited for signs of some sudden arrival or intrusion, but so far, nothing. A few men entered the cell everyday to mock or hurt them and give them food and water, but besides that, everything else seems to be normal.

"You think they're gonna come for you, huh? Well, you better stop waiting; after what we heard from that house, it's pretty certain that none of them are coming for you!" One of the usual jeers, but strangely, Fai found that very hurting than the others (which he usually ignores), like a sword embedded deep in his heart, and remained there. His stomach grew heavy and all of a sudden Fai felt very heavy.

The door slammed shut and the blonde just stared blankly at it. Not that there was a point in doing it since they could barely see anything in the darkness, but the door seemed much more interesting than their current conditions. He didn't know how long he sat there, staring at the door like a lifeless zombie, but what snapped him out of his trance was a sharp voice that sliced through the silence.

"… What did he mean by 'what we heard in the house'?" Ashura's voice rang clearly in the air, though old and weary and tired, still as careful and natural as he remembered. Fai turned around facing Ashura blankly. "… What do you mean?"

"He said 'what we heard in the house'. Something happened there, didn't it? I heard that Subaru escaped the moment I was captured, and he probably had found his way to you by Yuuko's help. But when you were captured, I overheard conversations that you were alone and starving and tired and dirty on the streets. No one was there with you. Like I asked: What happened?" In the dark, Fai could see that Ashura was trying to reassure him that it would be okay to talk about it, giving him the courage to talk about sensitive or hurtful things, offering an anchor. It never failed; Ashura was too good a father to overcome. Slowly, Fai drew a breath, ready to tell him everything, but when he opened his mouth, no sound came out.

He couldn't say it. He just couldn't. Not because it hurt, not because he was ashamed of what had happened, but he was so used to bottling up his emotions ever since he was a child that he just couldn't say it.

Oh yes, he had wanted to tell others of his story, his feelings and emotions of loneliness and despair and anguish and fear, and that ache in his heart that would never go away. He longed to share his feelings with others about how scared he was and how empty life seemed to him.

He was too used to shutting himself away than telling the truth.

Suddenly, the room went cold and Fai began to shake, his heart suddenly getting heavier and heavier.

Ashura quickly noticed it and walked towards the blonde, opening his arms to pull him into a hug. Out of instinct, Fai drew himself away from the warm arms like Kurogane's. "No," he sobbed, curling in on himself. The back of his eyes burned and Fai was struggling to keep the oncoming tears from leaking. The man took this as a sign of not being ready and just sat there, watching Fai struggle with his emotions. Fai didn't want to tell. He wasn't ready. And he was scared. Instead, he reached out a hand and patted his head gently. This kind gesture just made Fai all the nervous and suddenly, he just couldn't hold it back any longer and broke down, sobbing, drawing his legs rocking back and forth. He could distinctively hear a squeak of surprise from the other side of the room and dismissed it as the new kid who hadn't spoke for days.

How stupid. An adult crying like a kid. When will he learn to grow up? And Fai thought he was weak enough.

Ashura turned to stroke his hair as this gesture, trying to sooth the distressed blonde. He knew that whatever that was bottled up inside him was breaking Fai, something he will not allow to happen.

His mouth moved on its own and Fai found himself screaming things he always wanted too. On how badly he missed Ashura and how lonely he felt that he saw no point in living anymore, the trouble he always had with his body due to the after-effects of his abuse, how he was so angry at everything, and lastly, to Kurogane. That name caught the older man's eye.

"Kurogane?" he repeated. Fai nodded, and went on – in a much quieter and calmer tone, but with a lot of pauses and hitches and shaky breaths – about how he met Kurogane, how they travelled here to save Ashura, to their encounter with Kyle and what he told him, how he went mad and shot Kyle and ran away. Everything went quiet for a long moment. The kid decided to pop his head to look at what was happening, and judging from his looks, timidly. Before Ashura could get another word edgewise, guilt filled his heart as he remembered and he blurted out before he could control his mouth.

"… I'm so sorry."

"What?" Ashura stared at him with a confused look, caught by surprise.

"I-" His voice broke again and Fai shut swollen, red eyes like Kurogane's and steadied his breath for a moment.

"I came here to look for you. They came here because of me, to protect me and keep me safe, and I'm pretty sure you want me safe too. But… but I never cared for my safety the whole. And now I'm here, captured, worrying everyone and causing them more trouble. I came here to save you, but because of my carelessness, now I have to save too. It's just stupid," he spat bitterly. "I'm so sorry… you always told me to take care of myself, but…" he just couldn't speak anymore. The guilt in him was so overwhelming. Instead, he shut his eyes and focused on pushing the pain away.

Ashura stared gently at the blonde. "I'm not mad at you. So stop blaming yourself," he whispered. "It's true that you shouldn't have lost control and act so recklessly, but everyone makes mistakes sometimes. So that we could learn from the past to change the future."

"He probably doesn't really like me anyway," he muttered bitterly.

The other man just stared at him dumbly.

"I…" Fai bowed his head, hoping his former guardian couldn't see him blushing in the dark. "I… kinda, erm, like… eh… Kurogane." He finished the name quickly, praying to the Gods that Ashura hadn't heard it.

No such luck.

The old, worn face broke into a warm, true smile, brightening his whole face. One could mistaken he was actually 20 years younger than he was now. He let out a girly squeal of delight. "Ooooo! Finally! My little baby's in looooove!" The man stood up and made a twirl tiptoed. He landed next to Fai, his face inches away from his.

"So how is Kurogane? Is he nice to you? When's the wedding? Remember to invite me! I remembered…" Fai rolled his eyes and braced himself for the typical old man ranting. "When he first came here, he looked like a mean and stupid git. But after a while, you start to see him more than he is." He sighed deeply. "That boy has a lot in his mind by the time. It looked like he was set out to do something, not for money, or fame, or ambition, but for something… else. Something that's precious to him. Something… maybe I'm just dreaming by the time, it looked at though he was trying to help or protect someone," he said thoughtfully. Fai spun his head around and stared at him, surprised at how Ashura was able to see all these in Kurogane. In turn, the other man turned to the blonde beside him.

"Yes." This time, he looked sad. "From what you told me earlier, it's true that he had captured you and landed you here in the first place." He paused, swallowing. "And because of it, caused you so much pain, but I'm sure, he probably has a very good reason for it. See here." He pointed at the kid in the corner, fast asleep.

"His name's Syaoran. There was a girl with him when he first entered called Sakuba or something. He was here because both of them were abandoned by the parents when they were just a few years old, and were forced to live on the streets and met each other there. That boy has a high degree of respect for others and has high morality. When he was out in the streets, both of them survived by stealing and pick pocketing, but Syaoran never liked it. He wanted to feel like he deserved the money, not robbed from the innocents. Fei Wong saw this vulnerability in him and took advantage of the situation, inviting him into the Mafia to gain some money he 'deserved'. So then…" he coughed. "He worked really hard, not really knowing what he was doing, really. He earned a whole lot of money like Kurogane did, but eventually the things he had to do were getting much more horrible and easier to comprehend, and finally one day, he refused to continue, and ran."

"It didn't take them long to find him and the girl though, and before he left, I gave him the address of a hotel that was run by one of Yuuko's friend, which I think he gave the girl before he was captured. That's how he ended up here." Ashura glanced at the sleeping boy, a soft smile on his face. "He never wanted to do anything bad. He just wanted to have a normal life, to protect the person precious to him, to see her happy. That kind of determination…" He turned to Fai. "… was the exact kind of expression worn by Kurogane I saw many years ago."

By the time he finished, Fai's eyes were as large as two blue crystal balls. Did Kurogane… Did he really…

"But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong," he shrugged. "I won't blame you if you hate him, and plan to for the rest of your life – he had ruined your life and turned it to hell after all, and he could actually be a jerk, but… I really don't think he's the kind of person who would do bad things for the wrong reasons."

Fai shifted his gaze from Ashura's face to the ground. … Really? Did he really mean all those words he said to him? Was he truly truthful in his actions and body movements? He wasn't sure. After what had happened, he didn't really know who to trust. But Kurogane didn't look like the kind of person who would cheat on someone: he looked more like a doggy, loyal, brave and loving. He didn't look like he would do something bad or betray someone without a good reason. And… he definitely didn't look like someone who would lie (except for his pride) or feign and surpress his emotions. That's one thing Fai was quite certain. How else would he be yelling so often and chasing him around like a grandma with rabies?

Still, Fai couldn't be sure. After all that has happened, he found that the only person he could trust with his heart was Ashura. Besides, all this thinking was making his head pound.

"Is there anything else I can think of besides Kurogane and your philosophical babbling?" he whined jokingly, hoping to ease the tense atmosphere. The older man chuckled at this, closing his eyes.

"Well, maybe you can help by thinking a way to get out. I'm not planning to stay here for the rest of my old days." Another deep sigh. "I would want to spend the rest of my retirement peacefully. All these running are really bad for my bones, and my back." He stretched to emphasize his point. True to his words, various cracks could be heard. "Maybe stay by a cottage next to the beach, play chess, oh man, I would need a real, long vacation…" He smiled warmly, dreaming about days when nothing would be complicated again…

Fai chuckled and lean his head back, staring at the ceiling. Where are his companions? Are they looking for him? Well, with Subaru there, they probably are. Have they found the clues yet? Are they in Florence already, or in Rome? Or had they abandoned him completely? Fai didn't know, but he did know one thing. He couldn't just depend on them on everything. He couldn't just wait for them to come and rescue him. He had to do something, anything, to save himself and Ashura and Syaoran. And with that, Fai closed his eyes in temporary peace, his mind clearer and calmer than in the past few weeks, current resolution firm and strong. He was never one to wait anyway.

… But did Kurogane really mean it when he said he loved him?

Done! Next chapter: KuroFai-ness, but mostly near the ending of the chapter! Sorry for the long waiting. I don't think they were ready to do that just yet. Not much Syaoran mentioning though, I'll have to fix that… so the next chapter will be rather long…

NOTE: There might not be any updates next week as I shall be going to England. But my dad's bringing a laptop so I might also be able to update if I have the time. Also, the week after that, updates might come a little later, possibly not on Friday but on Saturday or Sunday.