Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Seat belts are installed into the fanfiction, and it is required by law that you wear them; you aren't cool if you think they're not necessary.
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To Everybody - No animals were harmed in the making of this fanfic; however, my cat scratched the hell out of me during it, the little meanie. And yes, I've seen the TDI Special; Noah so should have been in Season 2.
Oh, and if you guys and gals could check out my poll, that'd be swell; it's TDA related instead of undead (it was hard for me to do).
And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!
Chapter 32 (Day 10, Part 3) - Fury Speed, Zero Patience
(Tire Squealers)
Izzy hit the brakes on the kart, hard enough to send Noah flying. If there had been a windshield, he would have gone through it.
This didn't make me any less unhappy with the redhead. "Izzy, why do you hate me?" the egghead shouted as he slowly got to his feet. "Are you trying to kill me? Just say yes, actually, I wouldn't believe you otherwise."
"I don't kill civilians," she purred, grinning slyly. "Just terrorists, crooked cops, and jellybean smugglers."
"Jellybeans? What is your deal with jellybeans?!" Noah snapped, getting up in her face. "Just how is Katie friends with you? You're psycho! No, I take that back; psycho people would be freaked out by you."
"Bighead talks big, but he not walk big," Izzy replied, still smiling coyly. "Shouldn't you be trying to get on my good side, since I know so much about Katie?"
Noah almost froze up, then scowled again. "Oh right yeah, you know so much about Katie! You talk so fast and so much, she was probably almost suffocated because you didn't give her time to breathe in-between stories!"
As the crazy girl and the know-it-all continued to argue (well, Noah was arguing and Izzy was bantering), Bridgette walked up to the Hot Stop that Izzy had stopped in front of.
"Shroom Sidings.
Several different mushrooms grow here. Please eat two different kinds. Be careful, as some are toxic, some are downright poisonous, and some just don't taste good at all."
"More than half of the stuff you say isn't scientifically possible," Noah continued to shout at the crazy redhead. "And the other half is even more incredulous than that!"
Izzy quirked an eyebrow. "You doubt my power?"
"I do!"
"That's a shame. You know, I could have told you all the little romantic things Katie told me she would have liked to have happen to her when she was crushing on you, but..."
Noah scoffed and looked away.
"You're a very cynical man, Noah."
"Yeah? Well, you're a cyanide pill waiting to be swallowed," the know-it-all retorted. "I cannot see how I could ever team up with you if I had the choice."
Bridgette stepped in-between the two, holding her hands up as if to break up a fight. "Um, guys?" she mumbled, her mouth full, "I really don't want you two to be bickering throughout the entire challenge. So could you two call a truce or something?"
As the blond surfer left them to go back to the challenge, Izzy and Noah exchanged looks. "I suppose," Noah said, shrugging, "that I could give you a second chance and keep my patience. If you don't drive."
"That sounds fair. And you," she poked him on the tip of his nose, "be nice!"
" 'Nice,'" he repeated, as if it was a nasty, four-letter word.
"You're going to have to be nice for Katie. She likes nice guys!"
(Confession Cam - It's a cookbook! A COOKBOOK!)
Noah - "Alright, Cutie Katie, I can cope making friends with Sadie and all, but Izzy? C'mon, the girl's a whirlwind, a master of disaster!"
\He pauses, then looks nervous.\ "Wait, did I call you Cutie Katie in the Confession Cam? And I'm strangely okay with it?" \Noah sighs and stares up at the ceiling.\ "What am I becoming? I am not what I have been. Is this normal for when you have a girlfriend?"
Bridgette was holding the Hot Spot's flag as she licked her lips. "Let's go, guys," she shouted as she climbed into the passenger's seat. "Noah, you drive."
"Best news I've heard all day, Miss Blue Crush," the know-it-all said. When he stared at the flag she had achieved, the surfer smiled and explained the challenge.
"You ate wild mushrooms?" Izzy shouted, looking horrified. "But what if they were poisonous?"
"They weren't, I knew which ones are and which ones aren't."
"How'd you know that?" Noah asked as he started up the kart.
"I'm an environmentalist, remember?" she replied with a wink. She was suddenly seized by the shoulders from behind by Izzy, who grinned triumphantly at her.
"I'm gonna call you Princess Peach, because you know your super mushrooms," the redhead declared. She began to fiddle with Bridgette's hair band. "Though she didn't have a ponytail, we'll have to get rid of that-"
"No no no no," the blond surfer shouted, thrashing as if her life depended on it. "I look hideous with my hair down!"
"Nonsense! I look fine with mine down!"
"I'm not you!"
"And thank all the Gods above for that," Noah mumbled as he continued to drive the kart, Bridgette and Izzy struggling fervently.
A few minutes later, they saw another Hot Spot, but the Sunday Drivers were in front of it. Duncan was performing the stunt, and he looked relatively calm doing it; this was unnatural for most, since he was one-handed juggling a long combat knife.
Tyler was gripping his headband and shaking in anticipation. Beth had her knuckles in her mouth, scraping them with her bracers. Noah and Bridgette also watched in silent horror as Duncan juggled the large blade in his hand.
"Miss, miss, miss," Izzy shouted, jumping and down in the back seat. "Noonen! NOONEN! Wahooo! Hey Duncan, look at me!"
"Izzy, shut up," Tyler shouted, louder than her.
Duncan rolled his eyes as he concluded the knife juggling, then placed it back on the pedestal. "Easy win," he said before swiping the Hot Spot's flag. He got back in the driver's seat of the kart, and his team raced off, whooping and cheering.
"The big showoff," Izzy grumbled, leaning back in her seat. "I can juggle three knives, at twice that speed, bigger ones too-"
"In the snow, blindfolded, yes yes we get it," Noah snapped at her.
(Red Light Runners)
Heather was trying to grin and bear the poison ivy itching, but with every minute it became more and more unbearable. Her skin was starting to turn red.
"Don't look at me," she ordered Ezekiel, "and don't stop scratching me either!"
The prairie boy nodded, turning his head away as he scratched her reddening skin. "And don't touch my butt," she ordered him. "No one touches my butt, you got that?!"
Harold arched an eyebrow at this, looking over at Courtney with a sly smile. The CIT knew she shouldn't laugh, but she was unable to restrain a few giggles.
Before the queen bee could react, the awkward driving team of Courtney and Harold stopped the kart in front of a Hot Spot. The CIT got out to read the sign:
"Ant Colony Grasp.
There is a prize down in the red anthill that is nearby this sign. Reach in, grab it, then you might want to yank your hand out fast. And you gotta roll up your sleeves, and no gloves!"
Courtney blinked. "You've gotta be kidding me."
"Boy, Chris doesn't play around, does he?" Ezekiel called out.
As Heather strained in pain, she shot a glare at Harold. "You were the one with a red ant farm last season! You go get it!"
"I didn't exactly stick my hand in it," the nerd snapped back, then added, "Idiot."
"Don't you call me 'idiot,' you nerd!"
"Gosh, you're impossible, you know that?" Harold replied. "I cannot see anyone helping you willingly."
"How a'boot I do it, eh?" Ezekiel asked.
"You sure, Ezekiel?" Courtney called out to him. She was staring at the red anthill, and it was a nasty sight. "Little red demons," she thought to herself as she watched them scurry around. "If devils ever came out from hell, this is what it'd look like, I'm sure."
"Make it fast," Heather snapped at the prairie boy. "I need you to scratch me immediately after this stupid challenge!"
The prairie boy nodded and rolled up his sleeve. Staring at the red anthill, he felt his courage evaporate almost altogether.
"Hey, you know," Courtney said to him, noticing his apprehension, "maybe we can force Heather's hand down there. It cannot get any worse than it is now."
"Yeah, but you doo'nt have to sit in the back with her, eh."
(Tire Squealers)
Izzy squealed in joy when she saw the Hot Stop right in front of them. "Ooo, this one looks fun," she shouted as she leapt from the (still-moving) kart. "Lemme see...
"The Bulls-Eye.
Shoot an arrow and hit the bulls-eye. It must pass through the tire."
As soon as Izzy was done reading it, a car tire tied to a rope swung in front of a large arrow target. The redhead noticed a long bow, and cried out in joy as she picked it up. Notching an arrow, she spun around to her teammates. "Guys, look, it's like my Cherokee roots!"
Noah and Bridgette, with a notched bow pointed at them, did what came naturally: screamed and hid behind the kart. "Point that thing," Noah shouted, "somewhere else!"
"Okay," the redhead chirped, turning back to the target.
"Oh man," Bridgette whimpered, "that girl is like an Unstoppable Force. I cannot see how anything could slow her down, or even stop her."
"I want that. Let's discover a cure for Unstoppable Force," Noah replied.
(Confession Cam - Filled with evil! EVIL!)
Izzy - "Why do people act so nervous when I have a lethal weapon in my hands? I'm trained in all lethal weapons, from magnums to corkscrews to the kitchen sink!"
Ezekiel - "I'd actually like to clear something up to anyone who saw my audition tape. You see, I didn't actually hit my mom with that arrow, eh, I hit the tree next to her. Can you imagine hitting someone with an arrow accidentally? I could've killed her! Which was why she was so mad..."
Ezekiel, wincing terribly, began to stick his hand down the anthill. Letting out a high-pitched yelp, he ground his teeth.
"They're biting hard, the suckers," he shouted, pounding the dirt with his other fist.
"Zeke man, you don't have to do this," Harold called out to him. "We could go find another one-"
"No, Izzy will do this one for sure, eh," Ezekiel replied, then cried out in pain. "OW! Little dickweeds!!"
(Confession Cam - And you knew, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?!)
Ezekiel - "Boy, she was mad as hell, madder than I ever saw her. ... Though I never did find out why she was in the bushes, eh. She really shouldn't have got that mad at me, it was dad's idea to try to bag a moose for the audition tape."
Izzy cackled as she pointed the arrow up at the close. "I gotta shoot one into the air for good luck," she declared.
"Is that necessary?" Bridgette called out from behind the kart. "I mean, isn't that just asking for trouble?"
"You just said her reason for doing it, Bridgette," Noah said with a roll of his eyes. "Man, I wish Katie was here."
"You wanna make out with her, hmmm?" the blond surfer teased him, grinning slyly.
"Seems to be a pastime here," the know-it-all replied with a shrug. "Duncan and Courtney, Gwen and Trent, you and Geoff-"
"Now that's not fair," Bridgette replied, giggling and her face flushing a little. "I cannot see Geoff and me making out nonstop."
"FOR MY NATIVE ANCESTORS," Izzy roared, firing an arrow into the air.
(Confession Cam - All I see is death around me! DEATH!)
Ezekiel - \He looks around, drumming his fingers on his arm.\ "I wish I knew back then not to listen so much to my dad, eh. Luckily, my mom was quite forgiving, thank God I didn't hit her with that arrow. Cannot imagine how much that would hurt."
The prairie boy, straining in pain, gasped as his fingers brushed against something solid that wasn't dirt. "Oh wait a mo-OW-ment, eh," he shouted. "I think I-owww!-I got it!"
"Pull it out then," Harold called out.
The toque-wearing teen did as suggested, but his bunched up fist was hard to pull through the dirt. The red ants continued to bite his tender skin, and he muttered a couple foul words under his breath.
"It's... really... difficult," he strained.
A whistling sound from afar could be heard by the others, as well as a rather painful-sounding 'thunk.' Ezekiel tensed, then screamed. He yanked his hand up from inside the anthill, sending earth and red ants everywhere as he grabbed his rear end.
"MY BUTT," he shouted, squinting in pain, "they shot me in the BUTT!!"
Courtney screamed, grabbing Ezekiel's arm. "There's an arrow in your butt, Zeke!"
"I NOTICED!"
Limping and blubbering in pain, the prairie boy was led to the back seat, where he fell on his belly; said belly fell on Heather's lap, which startled the queen bee.
"What are you-" she started, then noticed the source of Ezekiel's pain. "Zeke, there's an arrow in your butt!"
"I'm aware of that!!"
"Say, what was the prize inside of the anthill?" Heather asked him. He strained as he managed to unclench his hand to reveal the gift inside the red anthill farm: a tube of anti-itch cream.
(Confession Cam - It's over nine thousand! WHAT, NINE THOUSAND?!)
Courtney - "Well, this hasn't been a lot of fun. I'm driving a kart that has a guy crippled... by me, from an allergic reaction; a guy who's been shot, in the butt, by an arrow that came out of nowhere; and a girl who's coated head to toe in poison ivy rash.
"I feel like a nurse on emergency row, with no medical training. This really bites."
(Sunday Drivers)
Beth stood in front of the tennis ball machine, looking rather scared.
"Just dodge the balls when they're shot out, Beth," Tyler called out to her. "That's all you have to do to win this."
"I'm gonna die!"
"You're not gonna die," Duncan called out to her. "They're tennis balls! Least they'll do is give you a concussion of green fuzziness!"
Tyler slapped him in the back of the head. "You moron, that isn't going to help her."
"It was a joke, lighten up," Duncan grumbled. "It's not like we're making her do the last one we came across."
"Yeah, wrestling an alligator," Tyler remarked. "I cannot see Beth doing that."
"I cannot see ME wrestling an alligator," the punk replied. "I don't think anything is worth wrestling an alligator for!"
Meanwhile, Beth was practically lying on the ground from how deep she was ducking, as the tennis ball machine shot out fuzzy, green spheres of bouncy fun. Since Beth was so short, all of them shot over her head, and she passed the challenge rather easily.
"I think you're supposed to dodge them, not just duck," Tyler said to her as she walked over to the kart. "Still, you did it, I shouldn't complain."
"Too true, Mr. Athlete," Beth said, a big grin on her face. "Now go get in the driver's seat, and take us to the finish line!"
Whooping, the red-suited athlete leapt into said seat, and rocketed the kart forward, nearly hitting several trees and also nearly making Beth and Duncan's lives flash before their eyes (their own lives, Duncan had no vision of Beth adopting her first pig; nor did Beth see Duncan committing his first felony, which was stealing bacon from a grocery store).
(Tire Squealers)
"BRIDGETTE," Noah shouted, his eyes wide and his knuckles white. "KART! ROAD! KART GOES ON ROAD!"
"I cannot drive," Bridgette shouted back at him, "when you're yelling in my ear!"
"You can't drive at all!"
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Izzy cheered, holding her hands up in the air as Bridgette attempted to drive the kart. The blond surfer was about as graceful driving the kart as she was everywhere that wasn't on water: extremely clumsy. Noah would have thrown up, except that he was too busy screaming.
"Drive," he cried out, interrupted as Bridgette hit another rock, "forward! FORWARD! Parallel, straight, one-route, narrow, linear, MY GOD!"
Another fender-bender against a tree made Noah's life flash before his eyes yet again; at the least, he thought, this would prepare him for when he had kids, and they wanted to watch the same movie every night.
"Do I have to kill you too?" Noah shouted. "What is it with girls here and driving?"
Bridgette ignored this comment, then came to a screeching halt in front of a Hot Spot. "This will be our third," the blond surfer pointed out. "We'd better hurry, it took some time for Izzy to shoot that target."
She began to read the sign aloud:
"Horror Movie.
Wearing the virtual reality goggles and headphones, prepare for a very realistic horror movie. If you endure until the words THE END appear, you win."
"That sounds," Bridgette said, wringing her hands, "rather spooky."
Noah shrugged. "Horror survival games are just another video game I have mastered. Luckily for us, it's my turn."
"Awww, I wanted to watch the horror movie," Izzy complained.
Noah ignored her and sat down in the chair nearby the Hot Spot. Putting the headphones over his ears and goggles over his eyes, he waited for the movie to start up. Bridgette and Izzy watched anxiously as the know-it-all began to comment on the movie.
"Oh. A camp. How original.
"Yes, that's right, wander into the woods. Yes, with your boyfriend. Yes, with as little clothing as possible.
"It's blood, lady. Quick taking your time to see the body and scream.
"How can a chainsaw run that long without a gas refill? Honestly.
"The human body has four pints of blood. That is clearly nine.
"... \censored\!!! Damn those pop-outs! Honestly, pop-outs are not real scares, they're startles.
"Oh yes, good has won. Wait for it...
"Yep, there it is, proof that evil hasn't died completely. That's right people, despair, because evil serial killers deserve to live and you don't."
The blond surfer tapped her foot. "Alright Noah, you had your fun riffing the movie," Bridgette declared, throwing her hands up in the air. "But that took twenty minutes! We have to hurry!"
"Funny," the know-it-all remarked, "that last part was the exact same thing the first victim's girlfriend said to him right after they had-"
"Can I drive?" Izzy asked.
"NO," Bridgette and Noah asked as the egghead scrambled for the driver's seat.
(Vroom Vroomers)
Eva moaned in pain, clutching her stomach. The front of her blue workout clothes and her chin were stained in vomit. She winced as Cody continued to rub her back.
"We're lucky throwing up wasn't grounds for disqualification for that last one," Gwen commented, taking a second to glance back at Eva and Cody. "You gonna be alright?"
"Chef's meat loaf should be used in terrorist interrogations," Eva moaned, still maintaining her angry disposition. "That was the worst challenge I've ever had to take here."
"And you still took it like a real champ," Cody said, patting her back ever-so-gently. "Eva, you have skills that we all admire immensely."
"Yeah, right," the fitness buff grumbled.
"Hey, I couldn't do that," Gwen pointed out. "You should be proud, Eva, the smell of it being in the sun that long made me want to hurl in itself."
"All the more reason why we gotta win," Cody shouted. "I'm not eating that for dinner tonight!"
They drove towards a long clearing that, in the distance, they could see the campgrounds and the finish line. A slight flicker of movement that they could barely see was Joel, using binoculars, waving at them.
"Here they come," he said before handing the binoculars to Owen. The much larger teen peered through and laughed in excitement.
"Go, Gwen! Go, Cody," he shouted, jumping up and down. In his excitement, he snapped the binoculars in half.
Right after Owen said this, the other three karts came around the corner. With Courtney, Tyler, and Noah behind the wheels, they sped to catch up with Gwen.
"Ooo, this'll be close," Joel commented as he watched the far-off karts come closer though one half of the binoculars, the sounds of the revving engines more audible with every second. "Interesting this shall be, no?"
"Um, yeah?"
"I am rather enjoying this through the monocular you handed me."
"The mono-what?"
Courtney of the Red Light Runners rammed the Sunday Driver's kart on the side. "Out of my way," she yelled at them. "I got two injured people on my team!"
"I ain't eating Chef's meat loaf tonight, Ms. CIT," Tyler yelled back.
He suddenly noticed his friend in the back seat. "Zeke man, you have an arrow in your butt!"
"I know that!!"
Noah tried desperately to get ahead of the others, but his kart wasn't going any faster. "This isn't working," he cried to his teammates over the roar of the wind and kart engines. "We have to do something quick, or this'll be a photo finish, and I never have a good photo!"
"Here, let me," Izzy shouted.
The redhead stood up in the back seat, and let out a sharp whistle. "Hey boys," she cried out, "what do you think of this?"
She lifted up her shirt at them. Cody gawked, Beth's mouth dropped, and Harold cupped his face in astonishment. Tyler was so stunned, he temporarily forgot he was driving.
It was a dire mistake. His kart swerved and smashed into the Vroom Vroomers, catapulting the six campers out of the karts in a loud crash. The two karts flew up into the air, landed in a ditch nearby, then exploded into large fireballs.
"Whoa," Joel remarked, looking astonished. "That wasn't supposed to happen. Karts don't blow up like that."
Beside him, Chef Hatchet was snickering as he hid a wrench behind his back.
(Confession Cam - We're going to Disneyland! DISNEYLAND!!)
Izzy - "Wow! I didn't think it would work that well. I mean, it's not like I was seriously flashing them, I had my bra on. I must be really hot."
\She takes out a pair of oversized sunglasses and puts them on. Adopting some haughty body language, she chews on some bubble gum and snaps it.\ "I'm so hot."
The Red Light Runners and the Tire Squealers raced across the finish line, and Chris waved a checkered flag. "Congratulations, you two win," he declared, then applauded. "That was awesome, I am so impressed! And I gotta say..."
He stopped when Heather ran out of the kart screaming, scratching her skin as she wailed. She entered the communal washrooms and slammed the door behind her.
"Whoa, that did look painful," Chris said, then noticed the other casualty of that team. "Whoa, Zeke man, you got an arrow in your butt!"
"No," the prairie boy replied, with the utmost sarcasm. "You doo'nt say? I didn't notice, eh."
"Might need to have Chef Hatchet look at that."
Bridgette was already next to her friend, trying to comfort him with what words you can use to comfort someone who has an arrow in their butt ("My goodness, that does look painful,").
The host walked over to the six defeated campers, who lay on the grass, still dazed from the kart crash. "Okay then," he said aloud to get their attention, "I guess this means that Gwen, Cody, Eva, Tyler, Duncan, and Beth have lost, and will be voting for which of the six of you will be voted off tonight! But not before..."
He grinned sadistically. "... You have some of Chef's yummy meat loaf!"
The first reaction was Eva puking again at the thought of eating it. The first reply was "You stupid jock," from Duncan to Tyler. "You call that kart driving!?"
"Hey, lay off, man," Tyler replied. "Like you could concentrate when a girl is stripping in the kart next to you."
"Gonna...," Gwen moaned as she lay on the grass, staring up at the sky, "kill... you... Tyler..."
"Someone get the license plate of that kart," Cody whimpered, "if karts have them."
"That wath THO much fun," Beth cheered, on her feet and jumping around.
Beth was not saying that when she was served Chef's meat loaf that night. The smell of it made her gag, and when she poked it with a fork, it wiggled like Jell-O.
"Meat loaf should not jiggle," she said with a sad sigh. "Oh dear... thith ith not fun at all."
Duncan nodded, then shot a side glare at Tyler. Both of them were almost as green as Duncan's mohawk just by looking at it. "You're dead, jock."
Tyler glared right at him. "I don't think so, Duncan. You're the one who is dead!"
"Stop talking about dying," Cody wailed, sitting across from them. "I just might by eating this!"
"There is no way I'm eating this," Gwen said, staring hatefully at the food. "They'd have to strap me to a chair, tie me up like a bondage slave, and force it down my throat."
"Kinky," Duncan remarked, wiggling his eyebrow. He immediately regretted saying that, because Gwen threw her meat loaf in his face. He screamed and clawed to get it off, heaving in-between screams; it was one of the worst feelings he could ever experience.
Eva had passed out at the table, muttering something in her unconscious state about 'murder,' 'pay back time,' and 'potted plants' (the others weren't sure what the last one was about).
"Tho...," Beth said, watching Duncan and Tyler continue to glare at each other after the punk had wiped the meat loaf from his face, "... we're not going to dithcuth who we're voting for, right?"
"No," Gwen said to her, "we've tried to keep voting to our own personal level, and despite some peoples' schemes," she shot a glare at Duncan, "we're going to keep it personal between the six of us."
Beth nodded. "Theems we didn't really get the worthst out of this challenge, even with thith meat loaf."
"What do you mean?" Duncan asked.
"Dude," Tyler groaned, slapping his forehead, "Zeke got an arrow in his butt."
"And Heather was coated in poison ivy rash," Cody pointed out.
"Wasn't her face red," Gwen remarked, grinning wickedly at the memory of seeing the rash-covered Heather run to the communal washrooms. "Actually, all of her was red!"
The losing campers, even Eva in her unconscious state, all shared a good laugh.
Heather grumbled to herself, wincing as she applied white cream to her legs. She had showered for a great deal of time, which slightly diminished the pain, then took to putting a couple coats of the itching cream on her skin. Clad only in a towel, she managed to finally calm down her breathing.
"I hate this place," she muttered, "so very much."
The door swung up, and screamed in surprise. Ezekiel leapt up and took a kung fu pose, mantis style. When he realized it was Heather, he relaxed.
"Can you leave?" the queen bee snapped at him. "I want my privacy after... after..."
She stopped when she saw Ezekiel's butt, which look like it had inflated. She started to giggle, then burst out laughing, pointing at it as she clutched her side. "It's not funny, eh," the prairie boy shouted, crossing his arms. "It's padding! I'm not gonna be able to sit down comfortably for a week! And I gotta sleep on my stomach..."
It was his turn to stop when he noticed Heather's towel was slipping down her front. The queen bee managed to grab the front before her breasts were exposed to the prairie boy. She growled at him as if he caused that.
"Will you please leave now?" she snapped.
"But... I gotta go, eh," he said as he jerked a thumb at the urinal.
"Can't it wait? I'm still getting..."
She strained and tried to reach behind her back, but the chaffing of her arms caused too much pain. With a sigh, she tried one more time but failed to reach her upper back.
"I cannot reach there," she admitted when Ezekiel looked confused. "I cannot even get the stupid itching cream on the back. This sucks so much."
Ezekiel looked back and forth, tapped his fingers together, swallowed, and when he realized there were no more nervous, stalling gestures he could make, he spoke up. "Want me to do it, eh?"
"What?" she shouted, incredulous. Before she could lambast him, her upper back began to itch something horrible. "Oh... okay."
She lowered her towel from behind, very careful not to expose any more than necessary. Ezekiel took the itching cream and began to apply it to her back.
(Confession Cam - Right? RIGHT?!)
Ezekiel - \standing up\ "You knoo', now that I think a'boot it, there's a big reason why I used to think girls weren't as tough as guys..."
\He swoons and wiggles his fingers, giggling.\ "They're so soft!" \He giggles more.\
Heather tried to ignore how soothing the feeling of Ezekiel's fingers on her itchy back was. "Bet everyone is enjoying this," she grumbled. "Seeing me so ugly and red... bet you find it humorous too."
"Looks way too painful, eh," he replied. "I mean, my butt's a pincushion right now, why would I laugh at you?"
She scoffed, then moaned as a particular part of her back tingled pleasantly as Ezekiel rubbed in the cream. Snapping out of it, she scowled again. "Well, I want to let you know that I'm not going to keep up the act that I was doing today, so don't get your hopes up."
"Fine by me, eh."
"You know I truly don't like you."
"Ayup yup, I do."
"And since I'm so hideous right now, it must be easier for you to cope with."
"Not true in the least, eh."
"Wait, what?"
The ravenhair looked around at the toque-wearing teen, thoroughly confused. "Are you lying? I mean, look at me."
"Affection for someone is not diminished by accidents like this, eh," he explained to her. "I mean, my mother once burned her arm; it's not like my dad divorced her because she was wearing a sling and had an ugly arm, eh."
Heather shook her head. "That's different. If I was really hideous, you wouldn't give me a second thought. No one would."
"That's not true, though I doo't I could convince you, eh," the prairie boy said with a shrug. "I'm guessing you got absorbed into the material and beauty world that's on those popular TV shows us teens watch, eh."
"What do you know?" Heather snapped at him. "You're just a lonely, home schooled boy! How could you possibly understand anything the popular world I am living in?"
Ezekiel sighed, though he didn't stop applying the itching cream to her back. "Nothing, eh. I doo'nt knoo' what to say, Heather. I still think you should try to be nice once, it might work out better than you think."
Heather tried not to let her emotions show, but she couldn't help but sigh. "Well, even if I wanted to change, it's too late now. Everyone hates me, and I don't like anyone here."
"Everyone deserves a second chance, eh," he said as he finished up applying the cream. "I'll keep waiting until you're ready for me to give you yours. If you want to keep saying you can't stand me, go a'heed, but just don't make fun of my butt."
Heather blinked, then froze up when Ezekiel gave her a peck on the cheek. Walking out of the washroom communal with a call of, "Lemme knoo' when you're done here so I can pee, eh." She felt her cheeks start to burn, and it wasn't because of the poison ivy rash.
(Confession Cam - I yam what I yam. YAM!)
Heather - \startled\ "... What a strange boy."
As Ezekiel left the washrooms, Bridgette saw him. The surfer girl came up to talk to him, staring at his inflated butt.
"That still hurt?" she asked.
"Naw, Chef gave me a lot of pain killers, eh," Ezekiel said. He clutched his head at the temple, and moaned. "Oh, dizzy spell... whoa, I think the effects are kicking in, eh."
Bridgette helped guide him to the Killer Bass cabin. "Good thing I found you in time," she commented. Before the prairie boy could get in, the surfer girl had one more question. "Was Heather still in the communal washrooms?"
"Yeah, eh."
"Zeke, please don't-"
"Bridgette, I knoo' what you're gonna say," he interrupted her, "and trust me, I knoo' what I am doing. Doo'nt worry, I'm not falling for her or anything."
"Really, Zeke?" she asked, looking concerned. She tapped his hand, which was still slick with damning evidence. "That's itching cream, right?"
"Errr, right," he stammered, then smiled at his blond friend. "She had places on her back she couldn't reach, so I helped her; poison ivy rash is awful, and I didn't want her to suffer, eh."
Bridgette opened her mouth, but he cut her off. "Bridge, doo'nt worry, please! I knoo' she's a mean witch, but I'm not gonna be mean to her when she's vulnerable."
As he walked into the boys' side, she called out, "But why be nice to her? She's never nice to you! Or anyone!"
Drowsy, the prairie boy wasn't fully aware of saying what he said next. "Everyone deserves a second chance, eh. I got one..."
When the boys' side door closed, Bridgette was left alone to think about this. She remembered how mad she was during the first season when Ezekiel said how guys were stronger and smarter than girls. She remembered how upset he was when he told her about what had happened to his parents because of his words, how rejected and lonely he looked the first night back.
Then she something else, something as painful.
Bugsy had collapsed in a chair, taking great, heaving breaths. He was not sobbing, but tears rolled down his cheeks. Bridgette could only stare at her friend, almost petrified at the sight of him looking so heartbroken.
"She was cheating on him," Gardenia was telling Norm, trying to keep her voice down. "He found out just today."
"You're kidding," Norm said, astonished. "Man, after all he did for her... she stabbed him in the back?"
"And hard," Gardenia continued. "She was smiling as she told him she was cheating on him, I saw her!"
"Gardenia," Sabrina cried out, shaking her head and whipping her dyed-blue hair around, "show some more respect, he's right there!"
Gardenia looked embarrassed and put her hand over her mouth. "Sorry, I really thought I was quiet enough..."
Dawn was trying to comfort Bugsy, massaging his shoulder. Bridgette continued to stare, her hand over her heart as if to cover it from the tragedy around her.
"It's terrible, Bugs," Dawn said to her heartbroken friend. "She... I really thought she had changed with you..."
At this, Bugsy slumped in his chair, his face in his hands. Apologizing profusely, Dawn hugged him, beginning to cry too.
Bridgette had her hand over her heart again in present time. When she recalled the painful memory completely, she stormed over to the communal washrooms, a furious scowl on her face.
The blond shoved the door open, startling Heather; the queen bee had just got back into her regular clothes. Bridgette huffed up her chest and started, "Now look here, you bi-"
She was cut off when the door bounced off the wall from her forceful push and hit her side. Crying out, she tried to recover from this embarrassing movement and slammed the door behind her.
"What do you want, surfer girl?" Heather asked, flaring up. She realized someone who was going to try telling her off, but she wasn't worried now. Bridgette, the soft-spoken nature's girl, trying to tell her, the queen bee of popularity, off?
"I want to make something absolutely clear," Bridgette said as she walked up to Heather. Her face was right into Heather's, and the queen bee felt intimidated as she leaned back slightly.
"You stay away from Ezekiel. You leave him alone, you got that?"
A moment of silence, then Heather started to laugh. "Is that a threat?" she chuckled. "Are you threatening me, Bridgette?"
"I am telling you," the blond surfer continued, her lazy eyes narrowed, "I am telling you to leave Ezekiel alone. Leave him, and Courtney, and Gwen, and all the people you've been trying to hurt alone.
"I have had it with you, how you try to manipulate people and back stab them without caring about their feelings. If you try that on any of my friends ever again, you'll have to answer to me."
Heather glared at Bridgette, then smirked cruelly. "And what makes you think I'm afraid of you?"
"I'm an athlete, Heather. And I've also worked with wild animals. I'm pretty sure that if I wanted to, I could kick your permed butt.
"So don't make me repeat this ever again: stay away from Zeke. You try to use him or hurt him, you'll have me to answer to."
She turned sharply, unintentionally swatting the queen bee in the face with her ponytail. Heather glared at her before finally deciding to say what was on her mind.
"Has it ever occurred to you," she said, "that I may truly like Ezekiel?"
Bridgette didn't turn around to answer her. "That's a load of crap," she spat out before slamming the door behind her.
Now alone, Heather continued to glare at the door, thinking of all the things she wished she could have said to the environmentalist before she left. Then she recalled the last thing she herself said, and became lost in another train of thought.
"... Do I?" she whispered to herself, rubbing her finger against the cheek that Ezekiel had kissed.
The marshmallow ceremony felt a lot smaller than usual to Beth. The farmer girl was sitting with five other campers on the hard stumps, while only six campers and Owen watched. Bridgette had told them that Ezekiel was sleeping off the pain killers.
"That I understhtand," Beth said, twiddling her thumbs, "but where ith our hostht?"
The twelve campers looked around, but they couldn't see Chris Maclean anywhere. After a while, Duncan began to get impatient.
"This is stupid," the punk exclaimed. "We're here, and he's always giving us guff about this marshmallow ceremony! Why isn't he here?"
"Chris Maclean cannot do the ceremony tonight."
The campers cried out as Chef Hatchet appeared from behind the rocks, startling them all. As they calmed down, the large man cracked his knuckles. "I managed to find a replacement, though."
"You?" Gwen asked.
"No, actually, though I'd like to. But it's his job tonight."
He gestured to the oil drum that Chris usually stood at, but there now was the inventor, Joel. Running a hand through his scruffy brown hair, he smiled at the campers.
"Hello everyone," he said as he held up a tray that had five marshmallows on it, "welcome to tonight's Wawanakwa's Elimination Marshmallow Party! Also known as WEMP."
"Joel's hosting the ceremony?" Noah asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"That's ludicrous," Heather scoffed. "Someone named 'Joel' hosting a show? How absurd."
"Any idea where Chris is, Joel?" Tyler asked the inventor.
After Joel shrugged, Chef Hatchet chuckled darkly, sending shivers up everyone's spine. "Oh, he's a little... tied up at the moment," the cook explained.
(Confession Cam - That's rather obvious, Chef. OBVIOUS!)
Chris Maclean - \He is bound and gagged with a great deal of masking tape. He thrashes around, muttering words that cannot be understood but sound very bad.\
"Will you untie him after the ceremony?" Cody asked the cook.
"Maybe." Joel cleared his throat. "As much as we all are concerned with the possible abduction of Chris Maclean, and hope for... well, we can hope, right?
"It's time to begin the marshmallow ceremony! Are you all ready?"
There was silence. Joel blinked, then looked around. "Um," he stammered, worry in his lazy eyes, "am I doing this wrong?"
"No not at all, dude," Tyler called out to him.
"Just that you haven't told us there are six campers in front of you," Gwen pointed out, "and that there are five marshmallows in front of you too."
"And the camper who doesn't get a marshmallow," Courtney recited.
"Must immediately walk the Dock of Shame," Harold said cheerfully.
"Board the Boat of Losers," Heather said with a roll of her eyes.
"And is not coming back," Eva concluded it.
"FOREVER," all of the campers, Chef Hatchet, Owen, and Joel declared. They shared a good laugh.
"You know, it is kind of fun to say it out loud," Bridgette commented. "No wonder Chris loves doing it."
"Well, I ain't one for delaying tactics," Joel said. "I'm a rather blunt person. Comes from tinkering with stuff that, if you do it wrong, it blows up in your face. So, I'm just gonna do this."
He grabbed four marshmallows off the plate, and tossed them to Gwen, Cody, Eva, and Beth. The four were surprised at first, then looked at the remaining two.
"Duncan, Tyler," Joel said, starting at the two guys, "you two were the only ones who received votes this time. There's been a lot of tension of late, what with Duncan working with Courtney to eliminate certain campers.
"Then there's Tyler, who single-handedly wrecked," Joel threw his hands up in fury, "two of my beloved, handmade karts! I am a little T.O.'ed about that, Tyler."
"Erm, sorry," the jock whimpered, scratching the back of his head. "If it means anything, those things were a ton of fun to drive."
"Thank you, I did my best work," Joel said. "But that doesn't matter to your teammates who had to eat Chef's meat loaf. Or just look at it! Oh, sorry Chef!"
Chef grumbled, crossing his arms and muttering how unappreciative the campers were.
"And now it's time to announce which of you has lost Total Drama Comeback."
He seized the last marshmallow with a large wrench and held it up in the air. Duncan stared at it intensively, then at Joel. Tyler's eyes were wide as saucers, his lower lip trembled, and his shoulders were hunched up to his ears.
Over in the crowd, things just as tense. Courtney was grinding her teeth in worry as Bridgette put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Harold watched, his expression difficult to read. Beth and Cody exchanged looks, both looking worried. Gwen watched a determined glare, her arms crossed tightly under her breasts.
"Is it Duncan or Tyler?" Joel said, twirling the marshmallow-holding wrench in his hand. "The final marshmallow of the night... goes to...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
"Tyler."
The red-coated athlete exhaled, then laughed in relief before the marshmallow was flung to him. With a quick hand, he caught the marshmallow and popped it into his mouth. "That was too close for comfort," he said.
"Duncan," Joel said as he set the wrench down on the oil drum, "I'm afraid that is that."
The punk merely shrugged, though his body language told a different story, one of sadness. "It's fine, dude. I actually saw it coming, so no regrets."
With his duffel bag in hand, Duncan headed for the Dock of Shame. He stopped, then turned around.
"Hey guys," he said, looking specifically at Cody and Gwen, "I'm sorry things turned out this way. Wish we could have had more fun and less drama."
"Show's called Total Drama Island for a reason, dude," Tyler said with a shrug. He exchanged a fist bump with the criminal before adding, "Say hi to Lindsay for me, will ya?"
"Will do." Gwen nodded towards him as a good-bye, Beth waved, and Cody high-fived him. Harold gave him a Possum Scout salute, then they shook hands.
"Courtney?" Duncan said, before being glomped by a freckle-faced brunette. The CIT looked up at the criminal with misty eyes.
"This... this is all my fault," she sobbed. "If I hadn't dragged you into my revenge scheme, they wouldn't be voting you off now."
"Hey Princess, I chose to help you. And I wouldn't have it any other way than with you. So keep trying here, I think you still have a chance.
"What say you, Courtney? Wanna give your prince a kiss before he leaves?"
"You're an ogre, not a prince," she said, wiping the forming of tears from her eyes.
"An ogre prince?" Harold suggested.
Duncan laughed at this, then his lips were suddenly caught by Courtney's. They kissed, and most of the campers couldn't help but smile. It was only when the kiss lasted over half a minute that they all began to look around awkwardly.
"Alright, that's enough," Joel snapped. He pushed a tire iron between the two and cranked it until their mouths separated with a wet pop. The inventor then slung the tool over his back, and looked over at Duncan. "Shall we go then?"
"Awww, you're leaving too, Joel?" Beth called out.
"I gotta, my cameo was strictly for today."
"But we just got to know you," Cody called out. "I want to talk to someone who understands robots and mechanics like I do!"
"I want to have another sane person on this island," Gwen said.
"I want to have someone who can cook for a change," Eva added. Chef Hatchet growled at her, and she growled right back.
"Guys, gals, I'd love to stay too," Joel said, holding a hand over his heart. "But I am not to be alongside you just yet. My journey has not yet started, for it begins next season.
"For now, it is best I avoid absorbing your limelight. Because you are the originals, you are the characters that everyone knows and loves. You are the reason people watch this reality show, they tune in to see you all specifically. Though new faces like mine may spice it up, it is you who always keeps the spice of life to the show.
"The original can never be replaced, the first one is always the best one in everyone's eye. For with the first comes the most memorable experience, and all those to follow have the judgment upon them, whether it is subconscious or not. I did enjoy my time here, but the crowd wishes to see the originals just now.
"And so they will have them, so I must bid you adieu."
Cody wiped a tear from his eye. Beth blew her nose in-between sobs. Izzy swooned and fell over backwards. Owen bolted over to Joel and almost crushed him in a bear hug, blubbering like a big baby.
"Dude, that was weird but okay," Duncan said as he patted Joel on the shoulder; they walked towards the Boat of Losers and boarded it. "You're okay, but an inventor doesn't seem all the interesting."
"I also make stuff that blows up."
"Ooo, I change my mind. I think I want you on my team next season."
Waving good-bye to Courtney and the others, Duncan and the Boat of Losers eventually faded from sight. The CIT sighed.
"I'm really gonna miss him, even though I shouldn't," Courtney said to Bridgette. "Tell me, Bridge, is it wrong that I like someone who's completely different than me?"
The surfer started to answer, then she saw Heather walk by them. They exchanged a glare, then the queen bee walked off in a huff. The blond gal scowled and crossed her arms.
"Um, something I should know about?" her brunette friend asked.
"You're not completely different than Duncan," Bridgette mused. "You may not be aware of it, but there is a lot that connects you two.
"You think so?"
"Trust me, Courtney, there are... 'couples' with far less in common than you and Duncan."
Tyler - Duncan.
Duncan - Tyler.
Beth - Duncan.
Cody - Duncan.
Eva - Tyler.
Gwen - Duncan.
--
Duncan - 4.
Tyler - 2.
--
Voted off List - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan.
Noah rummaged through his clothing drawers, looking furious. "Where the hell are all my pants?!" he shouted.
Cody, the only other one in the room, wondered if that was rhetorical or not. "Um, I dunno, dude."
"I cannot find any of my pants," the know-it-all snapped, "and there is no way I am running around this island without pants on! I'd die first!"
As Duncan arrived at the Playa de Losers, his friends greeted him and Joel. DJ and Geoff slapped the punk on the back, offering sympathetic words for his loss.
"Oh Katie?" the criminal said to the thin BFFF. "I got something of your boyfriend's before I left."
"Huh? Whacha mean?" she asked.
Duncan held up a few pairs of brown pants. "I managed to swipe these before I left!"
Katie boggled at them, quite weirded out. As the green-haired punk and his friends burst out laughing, a vengeful Leshawna began chasing him around the resort. "You insensitive creep, GET BACK HERE!"
"I cannot help it," Duncan cackled as Leshawna continued to give chase, "I wanted to steal something, and I wanted to do something nice too! What can I say?"
--
--
--
Sorry to all the Duncan fans out there. Don't worry, I have lots of plans for you to see those voted off in the future. You'll see Canada's worst criminal more in the future, the furthest away will be when there are ten contestants left.
And in case you didn't notice, a lot of the remarks about "I cannot see myself doing that" are referring to the TDI special that links season one to two. It's a joke about how that special made this story alternate-universe.
And I am way over 200,000 words now! WOOHOO!