Author's Notes:

Kat: Sorry it took so extra long...read it and weep...and btw...if you don't read the last author's note you should go die. Actually don't die, we need reviews...

Katy: We just got sushi, so we're EXTRA HYPER! We're eating it now...oh and seaweed salad *makes high squeal*

Kat: Yum. So Katy, guess what I heard on the radio.

Katy: Oh no...what?

Kat: They said it's OKAY to make out with your best friend of the same sex!

Katy: *scoots away* You're scaring me...NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!!!

Kat: *looks shocked* I did NOT mean it like that!!!

Katy: Thank God.

Kat: Well then...AWKWARD! To the disclaimer.

Disclaimer:

Kat: Everything I do. I do it for you!

Katy: No you don't.

Kat: True. I concur.

Katy: So anyway, yesterday I checked my birth certificate. It didn't say Stephenie Meyer...

Kat: Neither did mine.

Katy: How sad. We don't own any of the recognized ideas, characters, etc. in this story.

Kat: Awww...

Nessie POV

"Come on Renesmee! Please come out of your room. We're sorry you had to see all of that," my mom pleaded with me.

"No. Something weird and inappropriate will happen if I do. I just know it." I continued reading Wuthering Heights.

I heard my mom sigh and say, "But Renesmee you can't stay in your room forever! If you don't come out in 10 seconds I will break down your door!"

My mom was furious by now. I'd been refusing to come out for the past two hours. But no matter what she said or did, I wasn't going to come out. I heard my mom growling and then my Aunt Alice whispering something to her. A grunt showed that my mom agreed with whatever she'd just said.

"NESSIE! DANCE OFF TIME!" I jumped off of my bed and ran out to my living room where my aunt had set up a dance floor. Grandma Esme, Aunt Alice, Aunt Rosalie, and mom were all waiting for me.

"Watch this," Aunt Alice winked at me, "BOYS, WE'RE HAVING A DANCE OFF! GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE!"

"Alice!" mom yelled, "Language!"

Aunt Alice smiled and then yanked open the door. All the guys suddenly came piling in. Dad and Uncle Emmett were fighting to get through the door at the same time. Uncle Emmett was about to win until my dad kicked him in the chest-sending him flying-and marched through the door, muttering something along the lines of, "Trying to kick me out of my house..."

A few minutes later, Uncle Emmett came marching in. He seemed upbeat even though he was just beaten by my dad. He walked proudly over to Aunt Rosalie who just shook her head in disbelief. Then suddenly, everyone looked at Alice. Dad smiled at her. "So Alice," he started mischievously, "what are the teams."

He subtly looked over at mom who smiled right back at him. Though I do have to say, my Aunt Alice's smile was bigger than both of theirs combined. "No partners today you lovebirds. We're playing BATTLE OF THE SEXES!"

The guys whooped and the girls cheered. That is, until Aunt Alice pulled out a hat. My dad was outraged, obviously knowing what was about to happen. "No Alice," he roared, "no way on earth will I go through with this!"

She just smiled sweetly at him. "Well I'll go first...ballet... but Edward, you don't want to disappoint your daughter...or your wife." My dad pouted. Seriously! It was a full-out puppy-dog-pout. Knowing his fate, he reached his hand into the hat and pulled out a piece of paper that said, Hip-Hop. My mom was literally rolling on the floor laughing.

"But Edward! Hip-hop?! I have got to see this on-" Suddenly the hat was in front of her. She gulped and stuck her hand in, trying to ignore Aunt Alice's snickers. When her hand came out, she looked at her paper and almost fell to the floor again. This time though, it would have been from shock. Dad gently took the paper from her hand. He looked at it once then looked at it again. After confirming what it said, he burst out laughing.

Mom regained control of herself and slapped him upside the head. "It's not that funny," she growled menacingly.

"It is for a used-to-be klutz." Dad took the paper back and handed it to Uncle Emmett who just gaped at it.

"Well what's it say?" Aunt Rosalie asked.

"It says, Pointe." Everyone it the room burst into a fit of laughter. I quickly covered my mouth so I wouldn't do the same. "Woo hoo! Bella's gonna walk around on her toes! Time to see the first vampire that'll trip then break her neck."

There was then a vase flying at Uncle Emmett's head. He ducked away from it and dad caught it before it could bust. He gently set it down away from my mother. She scowled at the room. "Emmett if you think it's so funny, why don't you pick next?"

I think he was the first vampire that ever paled. Truthfully, I thought he looked almost invisible at the moment. Then suddenly, he puffed out his chest, dug his hand in the hat, pulled out a piece of paper, and swore. Aunt Rosalie looked at it and snorted. "Well," she said, "at least those ballroom dance lessons won't go to waste now."

Mom snickered. "You took ballroom dance lessons?" She got her answer from Uncle Emmett's scowl.

"Yeah," Aunt Rosalie said. "Esme sent us to get the lessons when Emmett thought that doing the salsa was a dance you did to crush up the peppers." She took the slip of paper from Uncle Emmett and showed the room. Well, I thought, snacktime. For Uncle Emmett's paper did indeed say Salsa.

Next pick was Aunt Rose's. "Finally!" she exclaimed. "I've been wanting to wear my new outfit for ages." She showed us her paper. Written clearly on it was jazz.

"Hey!" Uncle Jasper said. "You're doing me...oh no wait. That sounds terrible."

Again, laughter erupted around the room. I guess your family relies on perverted jokes after hearing knock-knock jokes for one hundred years. Aunt Alice, still laughing, thrust the hat at Uncle Jasper. "Alright Me, pick away." She said this somewhat seductively which made me suspicious.

"POLE DANCING?!" he screeched causing all of us to laugh...again. He looked at Aunt Alice in desperation. "Alice! Don't make me do this! Please," he said getting on his knees in front of her, "I'm begging you."

"Now those," Aunt Alice said, smiling triumphantly over him, "were the wrong words to say. Now you must do it. Not in that sense though." Then she smiled wickedly. "And by the way, we had a pole especially installed for you."

I thought my dad was going to blow up. He looked that mad. "But Alice," he said with calm fury, "this is MY HOUSE!" Uncle Emmett came up behind him and clapped him on the back.

"I wouldn't worry about it. You two can use it later," he said wiggling his eyebrows at my mom. She just rolled her eyes. Aunt Alice smirked and shut her eyes for a moment before saying, "And you'll have fun with it too."

"Ewwwwwww," I said, covering my ears. "I don't want to know about my parents sex life!"

"Yeah," my dad chipped in, "quit scarring my poor child's ears."

"But Edward," Uncle Emmett said, "she's a Cullen. We gotta break her in sometime. Or would you rather Jacob did it for you?" A sound like boulders crashing echoed around the room as my dad slammed into Uncle Emmett. In a flash, Grandma was between them, pulling them apart.

"Enough! You two are being so obnoxious tonight! If you don't stop it," Grandma warned, "I'm gonna kick you out of this competition...meaning the girls AUTOMATICALLY WIN."

That didn't go over very well considering all the girls were suddenly screaming, "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!"

Grandma shushed them all and stiffly said, "Alice, give me the hat."

Aunt Alice worriedly handed over the hat and Grandma shoved her hand in, grabbing a slip and stating, "Tap."

Grandpa covered his mouth to keep from laughing and Grandma glared at him. "Fine then, Carlisle," she sneered, shoving the hat at him, "your turn."

He placed his hand deep in the hat and pulled out a slip, looked at it, and nearly had his mouth hit the floor. Then suddenly, dad was rolling on the floor laughing. Literally. Looking for the cause of the sudden mental breakdown, mom took the slip from Grandpa's hands, read it, and laughed. "Carlisle?!" she laughed, "BREAK DANCING???!!!"

READ THIS OR DIE (but don't really)

Kat: Guess what?

Katy: Chicken butt!

Kat: *gives weird glance* Um...NO.

Katy: Oh well if it's not that...we're having a CONTEST!!! *throws hands in air*

Kat: Yup. Go read our profile, it has all the rules and info crap...and if it doesn't, PM us.

Katy: The contest is called the Me, Myself, and I in Twilight Contest...so go check it out.

Kat: If you love us you will enter...we'll change the date soon for entries dues. You'll have more time since we told you so late. But check it out (we haven't had any entries so it's a good chance you can win...we also need prize ideas!)

Katy: Well I'm going to make my Animal Crossing person...sorry there's no song, that's the next chapter. Oh, and Alice will be singing.

Kat: Review!