Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. If you're rereading it, you won't get the same amount of surprise as you did the first time; that's not our fault.
Replies to Questions and Comments:
To Everybody - Wow, the predictions of who the jellybean smuggler is are flooding in! It's exciting to see who you all think it's going to be! Don't be too disappointed if it's not who you think it is. And don't be too disappointed by who is getting voted off, I have to narrow this down to three campers one way or another.
If you want to be disappointed, be disappointed with who got booted off TDA first. I know I'm disturbed by that (still love the show and am anxious... but c'mon)! My new poll in my profile is about that, and it's spoiler free. Go vote if you want to, no one's forcing you (or someone might be, I have no idea what goes on in your homes).
Warning - This episode of TDC contains descriptions of some really nasty violence, stronger than usual swearing (nothing TOO strong though), puking, beatings, bad puns, drug references, a complete rip-off, and a major kiss. You've been warned, it's seriously PG-13 here.
And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!
Chapter 44 (Day 16, Part 2) - You See Saw? I Saw Saw Too, And I Saw Saw Two Too!
(Bridgette)
Sweat ran down the surfer girl's forehead. She forced herself to stop gagging, and ate another bite of the fourth hot dog.
"Ugh...," she moaned. "How do people eat this?!"
The TV screen in her cell buzzed to life, and Puzzle was back there again. She despised every part of him at this point, right down to the 'lol's painted on his cheeks.
"They taste good with ketchup or mustard," he asked, a humorous tone in his chilling-voice. "Want some?"
"No thank you," Bridgette shot back, trying to finish her fourth hot dog.
"You're not being very nice, Bridge."
She glared at the TV screen and picked up the fifth and final hot dog. Whimpering before starting to nibble on it, Puzzle vanished from the screen.
Chris lifted the mask and looked over at Chef Hatchet. "She's weird, don't you think?" Chef raised an eyebrow.
(Confession Cam - Not as weird.)
Chef Hatchet - "Bridgette's 'weird' to Chris? He's got Harold, Cody, Izzy, and Gwen on this island, and he considers that surfer girl to be weird? Man, that pretty boy's so messed up, but I guess that's why they let him make up the challenges."
Bridgette - "It's challenges like this that make me wish I had just been voted off around when Geoff was! Forcing me to eat meat, chaining me up..."
\She sighs.\ "All for ten thousand dollars, a tenth of what was offered last season. It's just not worth it, and I suck so much that I realize that after the challenge is over!"
(Bridgette again, we didn't go anywhere.)
Bridgette hacked, choked, then managed to swallow the last of the hot dogs. She looked up at the TV screen and grumbled, "Now what? Want me to kick a puppy?"
Puzzle came back on the screen. "I could get one for you, if you want."
"Yeah, right. You'd have so many animal rights activists on you, you'd be unable to breathe properly. And my mother would be the first among them to kick you right back."
"You're awfully violent for an environmentalist hippie girl."
Bridgette, for the first time this challenge, wore a cocky smirk. "You should know by now that many people here on this island, there's more than meets the eye."
"Whatever, Bridgette Prime. It's time for the third and final part of your challenge. Are you ready?"
"Bring it on."
"You know that photo that Gwen stole from Ezekiel's drawers?"
Bridgette froze. She subconsciously moved her hand to her pocket, then silently cursed herself for revealing the truth.
"Yes. I know she gave it to you. You even have it on you."
"Wh-what about it?" Bridgette asked, all confidence gone.
"Here's a little something I borrowed from Duncan."
A lighter slid out from one of the slots in the wall, bumping against Bridgette's foot. Her eyebrows shot up in horror, realizing what this meant.
"You know what this means," Puzzle continued. "I can even see your eyebrows shooting up in horror. You know that lighter that just bumped against your foot from one of the slots in the wall?"
Bridgette hated how he just narrated everything she just experienced; it made the tension worse, in more than one way.
"Knowing that Gwen stole it but not doing anything about it makes you an associate to the crime," Puzzle continued, "and because you are associated, you are as equally as guilty, and therefore, must be punished instead of her."
(Confession Cam - Not as guilty.)
Bridgette - "And my friends at home wonder why I don't like the Cut movie series."
"Your punishment is quite simple," Puzzle informed her, deviously rubbing his hands in front of his face. "You got the lighter, you got the stolen photo. I just want to see the expression on Ezekiel's face when you tell him you burned that which was trusted to him."
Bridgette felt sweat drip down her forehead. That's how out of touch she felt, her head spun but she wasn't even part of the spin. Her mind was on Puzzle's words, particularly on what Puzzle said about Ezekiel.
"Not to mention how you'll be ratting out Gwen on this. Oh, this is so evil, it's delightful," Puzzle cackled. "So, Bridgette, fire or die...
"You make the call."
(Cody)
Cody belched, then winced. "Oh, it's coming to me now."
He crossed his legs tight, as his bladder was now very uncomfortable for him. Though he had been calling out for Puzzle for some time, his torturer had not come back ever since he last departed.
The tech-geek was a very levelheaded guy, and he prided himself in that. But he was about to burst, and there wasn't a human being who would convict someone when the guilty party was holding in a giant pee for this long.
"Chris," he shouted, "if you don't come back and tell me the final part of this stupid challenge, I'm peeing in the corner of this cell!!"
A few seconds, then the TV buzzed on. "My name's Puzzle, you geek."
"Whatever, dude. What's the third part?"
"Alright alright! Sheesh, you victims are so touchy!"
The door opened to the cell, and Chef Hatchet came in, riding a child's tricycle. The large cook was wearing one of the Puzzle masks too, but he was easy to recognize with that chef's hat still on his head.
"My assistant here has a few presents for you." Attached to the tricycle was a wagon full of electronic gadgets. Cody saw a coffee machine, DVD player, microwave, radio, coo-coo clock, and a couple watches.
"Whacha want me to do with all this?" Cody asked as Chef Hatchet unhooked the wagon from the tricycle. The large man pedaled the tiny ride out, then slammed the door behind him.
"You'll find an outlet for plugging them in," Puzzle said. "Please reprogram all of the devices to the current time."
Cody blinked, looked at the electronic gizmos, then back at Puzzle. "Um, that's all? Really?"
"Hey, have YOU tried to reprogram the clock on a DVD player? Man, that's a real pain in the rumpus! Okay then, Cody...
"Reprogram the clocks or die. Your choice."
(Confession Cam - Not as choosy.)
Chef Hatchet - \He crosses his arms, rolls his eyes, and scoffs.\ "Lame.
"Although... it is pretty hard to reprogram the time setting on the coffee machine."
(Izzy)
The redhead was now fervently trying to pick the lock of her handcuff. She had busted three hair clips but she was determined as ever.
"Izzy, cut it out," Puzzle demanded of her the moment he was on the screen in her cell. "Young lady, you are going to be tortured, and you're going to like it!"
"NEVER!"
"It's good for you!"
"You'll never take me alive!"
"I've already taken you, but I can work on the alive part! Now, Izzy, you redheaded wild child, you dastardly demon of green eyes and wide grins, it's time we finally put an end to your reign of insanity at long last."
Izzy didn't like the sound of that. Her green eyes darted around the room, looking for hidden crossbows, blowguns, bear traps, or cloaked assassins. What actually happened was a small chute in the wall opened, and a small container of pills rolled towards her.
"What the hell is this crap?" Izzy snarled, her eyes narrowing on the container.
"It's children's' medication," Puzzle explained, his shoulders shaking from suppressed laughter. "Something your parents should have done a long time ago, in my humble opinion.
"Anyway, you have to swallow a couple of these. Drug up or die, Izzy; your call."
Izzy shot her meanest glare at the TV screen before going back to the handcuffs. Chris, on the other side, looked over briefly at Chef Hatchet.
"Think she's gonna do it?" he whispered to him, lifting the mask slightly.
"No way, man."
"Yeah, well, she doesn't have a choice," the handsome host declared. "I mean, it's not like she can pick the lock of those things."
He turned back to the TV screen, and saw an empty cell being shown.
"Dude," he shouted, his hands flying up to his head, "she picked the lock of those things!"
Chef Hatchet fell down laughing.
(Confession Cam - Not as picky.)
Izzy - "Once Izzy was out of there, she knew had to help the others! No longer will we be tormented by a jellybean smuggler and a sadistic has-been! We will rise up against our former leaders, and take back what is rightfully ours!!"
\She stands up, raising her fists in the air.\ "FOR CANADA, AND FOR PLATYPUS!!"
(Harold)
The lanky nerd looked at the tall glass cylinder that had been brought into his cell by Chef Hatchet. Though Harold was very amused at the sight of Chef riding a tiny trike, he had managed to keep all laughter in.
"So what's all this then?" Harold asked.
"Right then, Harold," Puzzle said over the TV once Chef was out. "This water is almost boiling. You can tell by the steam and bubbles, can't you?"
He nodded, noting both. Harold also noted there was a plastic card at the bottom of the cylinder, which he could possibly reach if he reached one of his arms in all the way. Though there was no way he would do that...
"At the bottom of that bubbling cylinder is a plastic card that has your former camper and teammate Courtney's name on it. It can be considered the votes you stuffed in the ballot box last season."
Harold nodded, lowering his head in shame.
"Your challenge is simple. Reach in, and pluck out the vote that was never meant for her. Though I cannot guarantee your arm and hand will be in prime condition afterwards...
"Reach or die, Harold. Your choice."
The lanky nerd sighed, then rolled up his sleeve. After a few seconds of psyching himself up, he plunged his arm down the cylinder.
(Confession Cam - Not as boiling.)
Harold - \holding up his bandaged arm\ "Chris failed to mention that it was nearly impossible to grab that card at the bottom of the cylinder. Also, I would like to state, for the record, that my scream, no matter how high-pitched and shrill, was quite justifiable.
"It felt like my skin was melting off! Cool... but not cool at the same time."
(Beth)
After slurping up all the worms necessary for the challenge, Beth was feeling sick with guilt, and just sick. She felt them wriggling down her throat, each one of them, and it really made it sick to her stomach.
"I wonder if I threw up now, I could save the little guys," Beth thought. "No, no better not. Chris might disqualify me for that."
"Have you thrown up yet?"
Puzzle was back on the screen, drumming his fingers on the counter in front of him. "I swear, you people don't appreciate good torture nowadays."
"I think the problem with you, Puzzle," Beth said, "is with you."
"Pardon?"
"The problem is that you're so used to torture, that when you get a challenge that's supposed to involve real torture, you panicked."
"... You know, I hadn't thought about that."
"Yep. So, what's the third part of my challenge, sucker?"
"That was rude and uncalled for."
"I'm sorry, but ever since my braces came out, saying 'sucker' can actually be accomplished, and I'm loving it. ... Sucker."
"Well Beth, you're going to be more of a scratcher with this challenge."
Chef Hatchet came into Beth's cell, pushing in a large blackboard. He set it right in front of Beth, and the farm girl noticed that there was no chalk for the board.
"You might notice there is no chalk," Puzzle said. "But there is a rather convenient item there for a blackboard. See it now, Beth?"
Beth did. It was a rusty nail. She picked it up, feeling the unsanitary, coarse texture of it on her fingers, and she winced. "Um, I'm afraid to ask what I have to do."
"Write your name on the blackboard with the rusty nail, Beth. Scratch or die, it's your choice."
Beth looked at the rusty nail, then looked at the blackboard, then shrugged. She began scratching the 'B' of her name, and the most unholy of wails screeched as a result.
Chef Hatchet, who was still in the cell, ran out screaming with his hands on his ears. The TV screen that Puzzle was on cracked, then shattered. Woodland animals were stunned, it knocked birds out of the air, the brown bear Fuzzy Wuzzums ran into his cave wailing, and the Sasquatchinakwa fainted dead away.
(Confession Cam - Not as scratchy.)
Beth - "Sure, it was bad. But everyone who's ever had braces knows that anything high-pitched sets your braces on end. And when your teeth are rattling as metal braces glued to them vibrate and tug, while your ears are exploding and your head is pounding..."
\She lowers her voice and covers her mouth with a hand, trying to sound like Puzzle.\ "It is pure hell, suckers." \She starts laughing, snorting and slapping her knee.\
Beth smiled and rocked on her feet as she watched Chris Maclean idly fiddle with the controls to the cameras.
"So, this means I have immunity?"
"Yes, it does," the host said as he rubbed his ears. "Honestly Beth, how is it that you weren't as disturbed as we were?"
"Well, I'm still tasting copper in my mouth, does that help?"
"A little, I guess," said Harold. His arm was being bandaged by Chef Hatchet, and the lanky nerd was wincing.
Cody, who had easily programmed the clocks on the gizmos, won his freedom, and had stopped at the communal washrooms for a really long and relieving pee, stood next to the two.
"He is going to be okay, isn't he doctor Chef?" the tech-geek asked, looking worried.
"Yes yes, just mild first degree burns. Why are you so concerned?"
"It's called humanity, Chef," the tech-geek said, then looked away and muttered under his breath, "but you wouldn't know anything about that, would you now?"
"So if Cody, Harold and I have immunity," Beth asked, "that means that the other four are still in the game?"
"Some of them," the handsome host replied. "Gwen's about to face the third part, Bridgette's struggling with hers, Izzy disqualified herself by freeing herself prematurely, and Zeke's being interrogated by one of the interns; don't know how good he's doing."
Beth nodded as she took this all in. "By the way, loved that touch with the jellybeans, Chris. It was a great play off of what Izzy's been ranting about."
"Yeah, I did that to push her buttons, since she's been harping about that since day one. It's like some stupid running gag that has no point," the host shrugged. "But what are you going to do, eh?"
Izzy, who was standing outside the operations tent and listening in, gasped silently. "Wait," she whispered to herself, "if he's truly not responsible then who..."
The redhead's eyes widened, her pupils shrunk in horror. "Oh no... oh God... if that's the case...!"
She bolted off, her presence unknown to those inside the operations tent. "So what's Gwen's challenge?" Beth asked.
"Excellent question, Beth! You get a cookie," the host said and tossed her a sugar cookie. She ate it quite happily as the host continued to speak as he pulled down his mask over his face, "Gwen's doom is going to be broadcast to her now."
(Gwen)
The goth girl leaned back against the wall of her cell, keeping her arms and legs crossed in an angry pout. She rolled her eyes as Puzzle came back on the screen, and started to talk with the same empty threats like, "death," "decapitation," and "buckets of blood pouring from heads."
"And worse than all that," Puzzle continued to rant as he pushed a button, "is this!"
A metal bar descended from the ceiling, and a poster unraveled from it. It was a large poster of Heather, smiling in that sinister manner she'd perfected.
"Oh goody, the succubus has been flattened," Gwen said dryly. "What do you want me to do?"
"Give the Heather poster a big, fat, wet kiss on the lips. On the poster, that is."
Gwen's eyes widened. She stood up and shouted, "No! No no no no no! I refuse to do that!"
"Kiss or die, Gwen. It's your choi-"
"I think I'd rather die, thank you."
"Dudette, it's just a poster. And don't interrupt my classic horror movie lines-"
"You don't do them right," Gwen roared, throwing her hands up in the air in indignation. "And I'm not kissing that poster, because I know that one day, I'll be browsing YouTube, and I'll be seeing that in every damn fan made movie."
She began to pace back and forth, nearing the poster and then walking away from it. "You never show affection for your enemies in horror movies, especially in the Cut series! The morons that do either lose their sanity, or become the next apprentice, and I'm no Chris Maclean the 2nd!"
"I hope not, you couldn't pull off the rugged handsomeness that he does," Puzzle said. He began fiddling with the switches, and caused the poster to swing back and forth. "Come on, Gwenie, kiss the Heather poste-"
"Don't you," Gwen snapped, turning around with her eyes blazing; she stormed towards the TV, pointing at it menacingly. "Ever... call me-"
The goth girl was struck on the head by the swinging metal bar the poster was connected to. Puzzle winced as Gwen went down hard, whimpering, "Gwenie," before she lost consciousness.
(Confession Cam - Not as unconscious.)
Gwen - \rubbing her forehead where the bandage is\ "Have I mentioned before how much I really hate this show?"
(Bridgette)
The surfer girl flicked open the lighter, then clicked the lever. The orange fire burst in front of her eyes, and it seemed to wave towards the little photo.
"Do or die, Bridge...," she said, a miserable scowl on her face. "Immunity... everyone else probably passed by now... do it... do it..."
The flame was now inches from the little photo of Heather during her ugly girl days. Bridgette hissed air through her teeth, preparing to burn it to ashes...
"NO," she shouted, jerking the lighter away from the photo. "I cannot do this! I cannot back stab Ezekiel and Gwen like this."
She took several deep breaths, then looked at ugly tween Heather on the photo. "I'm not like her.
"So go ahead and disqualify me, Chris. I don't care if I get eliminated from this contest, I do it with a clear conscience."
The TV buzzed on, and Puzzle came on. "Actually, that's just what I wanted you to do."
"Say wha'?"
"You passed the test for not burning the photo, which would have been wrong."
"But... but you told me to burn it or I'd lose!"
"Yes, it was a trick. You weren't supposed to do what I said would win immunity to win immunity. It's the psychological lesson that us serial torturers and murders try to teach people."
(Confession Cam - Not as psychological.)
Bridgette - \frowning\ "I fail to see the logic in that. At all."
(Back to Bridgette)
"So I passed? I have immunity?"
"Yes, yes you do. Here's the key."
A key slid out from a slot in the wall, and Bridgette used it to unlock her cuffs. After leaving the cell, she walked to the side, and psyched herself up.
"You can make me eat meat," she muttered, taking deep breaths, "but you cannot make me digest it!"
She stuck her finger down her throat and induced vomiting.
(Confession Cam - Not as vomiting.)
Bridgette - "I've probably thrown up more than anyone on this show. Geoff is such a sweetheart for wanting to kiss me after I've puked so often."
(Later...)
Gwen moaned, then blinked her eyes. She sat up, trying to ignore her throbbing headache. "Wh-where am I?" she stammered to say.
"You're in the operations tent, Gwen," Bridgette, reeking of vomit, said to her. She helped balance her friend out, her hands on the goth girl's shoulders. She looked very concerned and asked, "Are you alright? Can you see and hear okay?"
"I think so," Gwen said, then looked at her friend blankly. "... But... who are you?
"... And... who am I?"
When the surfer girl's eyes widened in terror, Gwen grinned impishly. "Just kidding."
As Bridgette let out a relieved laugh and hugged her friend, Chris turned to the two girls. "Hey Gwen, glad you're awake. You're about to see our last camper try to complete his challenge."
"Fine fine, but who brought me here, anyway?" Gwen asked. "I don't remember any of that."
"Cody carried you here," Beth said, beaming at the tech-geek. "You should have seen how concerned he was."
Gwen blinked, then looked at Cody. The tech-geek smiled, waved, then flexed. The goth girl let out a laugh, and said, "Well um... thank you."
"Hush now," Chris declared. "I'm watching the intern interrogate Zeke!"
The other campers gathered around the TV screen that showed the inside of Ezekiel's cell. The prairie boy had a bloody wound on the right side of his forehead, and he looked dazed. The intern inside the cell looked like a man in his senior years, wearing dark gray and black, and also wearing the Puzzle mask.
"Why does Zeke have blood on him, dude?" Harold asked.
"Oh, I'm sure it's fake, just to scare him," Chris said, chuckling. "Mighty wicked scare tactic there, Chef."
The large cook blinked, then looked around as if trying to find an answer. "Um, what do you mean, Chris?"
"Dude, you put Ezekiel in his cell and gave the intern instructions, didn't you?"
Chef blinked, more puzzled now. "Nooooo... I thought you did."
"No, I didn't, dude."
"Wait wait wait," Bridgette said, looking between the host and the cook co-host. "If neither of you two instructed this guy after we were drugged, then what's that guy doing with Zeke?"
"I grow tired of this now, Ezekiel," the man in the cell shouted, shaking his fist at the prairie boy. "Tell me where the rest of the jellybean stashes are, NOW!"
He kicked Ezekiel in the stomach, knocking the wind out of the toque-wearing teen. The prairie boy gasped for air, unable to brace himself for when he was slugged across the face by the masked man.
(Ezekiel)
"Do your woo'rst, you hoser," Ezekiel spat between heaves. "And for the record, you hit like a girl, eh."
Puzzle Man cracked his knuckles, and pulled his fist back. He was startled when the speaker in the room blared.
"Hey," Chris Maclean's voice filled the room; he sounded angry. "Dude! I don't know what got into your head when you applied for this job, but that is way out of bounds!"
"Who the hell is that?" the man snarled, looking back at the speaker.
"Dude, you don't know me?" Chris was even more angry now. "I'm Chris Maclean, the host of the show!"
" 'Show'?" Puzzle Man repeated. "What show?"
"Total Drama Comeback! You know, the one you're signed up for! Dude, cut the act, you've really crossed the line here."
"I don't know anything about a show. I am here on my own business, Mr. Maclean."
"What?" the host sounded really confused now. "Dude, who the hell are you?"
"I am... Brainteaser."
Silence from Chris, then the host squeaked out, "Oh crap. The real one?"
"Yes, you fool! I'm not like that guy in those stupid movies based off me!"
"Another serial killer has come to this island?!" Harold could be heard yelling. "Chris, did you put a rent-for-murdering-tenants sale in the classified ads for this place? Idiot!"
"Wait, you mean to say," Beth, shouting in the back, "that those Cut movies are based off a real criminal?"
"Young lady," Brainteaser snapped, sounding firm but calm, "I am no criminal. I am a philosopher, a teacher, one of the few justices left in the world. I teach people how sacred life is by telling them to mutilate their bodies and torture themselves in order to survive."
"I doo'nt see the logic in that, eh," Ezekiel grumbled, "at all."
"The unenlightened will never understand," the masked man said. "But show or no show, Ezekiel, I need to know what I came here for. I know you've been behind the investigation of my jellybean smuggling, and I captured you so I could get the truth.
"A crate of my best brand has been taken, and I want to know-"
"Dude, jellybeans?!" Chris shouted, his voice crackling over the speaker. "You actually smuggle those?!"
"Yes, Mr. Maclean," Brainteaser said, visibly frustrated. "I have to make ends meet, don't you know? Death trap parts don't grow on trees."
"But... jellybeans?"
"Jellybeans with a high concentrate of the most potent, most illegal drugs ever known to man," the masked man said, holding up a finger. "They fetch such a high price on the black market, and no one would suspect them to be traded in Canada, on this little island of all places.
"I arrived here recently, and never thought I'd be bothered. Except this young man here, who's most likely an agent or undercover cop, appeared one day with some friends," Brainteaser continued, pointing at Ezekiel. "And everyone knows toques are suspicious. I tried to eliminate him, rig the kart vehicles that he has here to explode on impact. I even released this crocodile that was rather conveniently placed in a cage, but it was killed by a duck..."
Brainteaser scratched his head. "I'm still not sure how the hell a duck managed to kill a crocodile, but that WAS a really stupid crocodile-"
"But Zeke's not the one about jellybeans," Chris shouted. "That was Iz-"
Someone slapped their hand over the host's mouth. Brainteaser hesitated, then turned to Ezekiel.
"It's not you? Then who is it?" he asked.
"I'm not," Ezekiel spat, "telling you anything, eh."
"Tell me who is responsible for tracking my efforts on this island, Ezekiel, and you'll leave unharmed."
Ezekiel thought about it. Izzy was obviously responsible, and if this man lived up to his word, he'd be free and this torturer / murder / jellybean smuggler would go after Izzy instead.
"No," then added, "Hell no."
Brainteaser took a deep breath. "Very well then. You leave me no choice, though your loyalty to your partner is admirable."
The masked man picked up something behind him, something plugged into the wall, something that had a saw blade on it.
"Remember those two red pieces of tape on your leg?" Brainteaser asked, then continued without waiting for an answer. "The lower one, if your leg is severed there, will be quite painful, but probably not fatal.
"But the higher one is right over an artery, and if severed there, you'll bleed to death in a couple minutes. Tell me now who's responsible, and I'll cut your leg off at the lower tape."
Ezekiel started to shake, sweat dripping from his forehead. Brainteaser pushed the button on the power saw; the high-pitched whirl of the blade made the toque-wearing teen cry out in terror.
"Lower or higher, Ezekiel. Your choice."
"You know," Chris mused over the speaker, "I say that much better than you do, dude."
The prairie boy took several deep breaths, then scowled. "Do your woo'rst, eh."
"Oh, I intend to, you foolishly foolish fool."
"Um Chris?" Ezekiel shouted, as Brainteaser held down the button and started the saw up. "Any chance I could get some HELP!?!"
Chris cleared his throat, then nervously chuckled. "Sorry to tell you this, but that cell's in is quite a distance from the tent.
"What pants size do you wear, so I can order you some one-legged ones?"
(Confession Cam - Not as helpful.)
Ezekiel - \deadpan sarcasm\ "Once a'geen, Chris Maclean proves how generous he can truly be, eh."
(Ezekiel again, not looking good here...)
"Time's up, Ezekiel," Brainteaser said, kneeling down at Ezekiel's side. He stood on Ezekiel's leg and held the boy still with his other hand, a firm, iron-like grasp. "I'm going for the higher. Don't say I didn't warn you, you dorky dork."
Ezekiel held his cool for a few seconds, then let out a horrified scream. He heard someone else shrieking over the speaker, possibly Bridgette.
Someone kicked the door open to the cell, causing a heart-stopping slam. Brainteaser pulled the saw up right before cutting into Ezekiel's leg, and shouted, "Who's there?!"
Izzy was there, heaving mad. She let out a guttural growl at Brainteaser, her lips tugging back to bare her teeth.
"LET GO OF HIM, YOU BITCH!!"
Izzy flung herself at the torturer / murder / jellybean smuggler. She pounded him to the floor, knocking the power saw out of his hand; it died out, and the terrifying whir of Brainteaser's blade was silenced in a few seconds.
And then Izzy beat the ever-loving crap out of him.
"Leave Ezekiel alone, you scum bag," she roared as she punched him in the face with every insult. "You jellybean smuggler! You evil hoser! You stupid dickweed! You rotten douche bag!
"And the actor in the Cut movies," she shrieked, "is much more handsome and believable than you are."
This one-sided fight continued on for about half a minute, with Izzy hollering insults and pummeling the holy bajeebers out of him. It only stopped temporarily when Ezekiel yanked her off of him, but she started to kick him once he pulled her up to her feet. And she wasn't letting up on the kicks either
"Izzy, no, stop it," Ezekiel shouted. "You're gonna kill him, eh!"
"Good!"
"But then you'll be wanted for murder!"
"I'm already wanted!"
"But Izzy!"
He turned her around, getting her to face him. "If you capture him, there can be a reward! Or maybe... a bargain?"
Izzy looked into his eyes, puzzled at first. Brainteaser let out a very pathetic whimper, and she gave him a pigeon kick to the noggin.
(Later...)
The police officer was busy taking the details, filled in by the campers but mostly Ezekiel. "Boys and girls," he said, looking very pleased, " I cannot tell you how happy I am to have Brainteaser in custody, eh."
As the torturer / murder / jellybean smuggler was being led to a police helicopter in handcuffs, he limped and cried like a baby. The police officer talking to the campers clicked his tongue. "He's the woo'rst of Canada's three most vicious criminals, eh. He'll get life, at the least."
"Who are the other two?" Beth asked, curious.
"Oh, the serial killer with the chain saw and a hook comes in second," the officer said, scratching his head in thought, "and some juvie kid named Duncan."
"... Duncan?!" Gwen declared. "But he doesn't have any real serious crimes! How can he be the third most notorious criminal in the country?"
"Well, this is Canada, hon," the officer said. "We doo'nt get that many.
"Anyway, since you have footage of Izzy personally stopping Brainteaser in the act, not to mention subduing him and handcuffing him for the police, the RCMP is moor' than glad to drop the charges we have on her, eh."
"That's great," Cody cheered.
"But where is she, eh?" the officer asked, looking around. "I'd like to thank her personally, I've been after Brainteaser for some time..."
"She didn't want to be around when the police came, officer," Ezekiel confessed, shrugging his shoulders. As he subconsciously rubbed the bandage around his head, he added, "She's still a little nervous around cops, eh."
"Alright then," the policeman said, flipping his notepad closed. "I believe I got everything I need, eh."
He put his hand on Ezekiel's shoulder. "If you need anything, any counseling for your encounter..."
"I'll be fine, eh."
"Yoo'r a tough kid, Zeke. Now go win Total Drama Comeback, my wife's been rooting for you."
The officer walked over to the police helicopter, waving back to the campers as he departed. Chris and the others watched it take off and leave, and the host let out a long sigh.
"That helicopter's not as cool as mine," the host said, smirking.
Harold let out a loud whistle, and shouted, "Izzy, they're gone! You can come out now!"
The redhead peeked out from behind a bush, then smiled. Throwing away the small shrubs she had held over her head for camo, she ran over ot the campers. "Are the charges on me dropped? Really?"
"They said so," Bridgette said, smiling at her.
Chef Hatchet grumbled something under his breath about the police being 'soft on crime,' but no one listened to him. Izzy giggled and clapped.
"I am so happy! I didn't think it was Brainteaser personally, but once I thought how it couldn't have been any of the other campers, Chef, Chris, the interns, Groucho the Duck, Fuzzy Wuzzums the Bear, the Sasquatchinakwa, or myself, I knew it had to be someone who was on the island besides us! And that someone would be after us if opportunity ever presented itself!
"And I'm more happy," Izzy said as she grabbed Ezekiel's shoulder, "that Ezekiel didn't lose his leg to that nasty jellybean smuggler!"
"I still cannot believe you were telling the truth about that," Gwen admitted.
"You seriously kicked his butt," Harold gushed. "That was awesome, extremely awesome even!"
"Can you teach me how to do that?" Beth asked.
Ezekiel said nothing; he stood there taking deep breaths, as he had been doing ever since his rescue. Bridgette noticed this first, and said, "Zeke? Are you okay?"
"Zeke, you still in shock or something?" Izzy asked, shaking him gently. "Don't worry Izzy, say something!"
The prairie boy blinked, as if being snapped out of a trance. He took Izzy by her shoulders and gave her a deep, long kiss. The redhead turned three shades of red.
"You saved my life, eh," he declared, hugging her tight. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Wow," was all Izzy swooned.
"Wow indeed," Beth said. "Zeke, how'd you learn to kiss like that?"
"Can you teach me how to do that?" Harold asked.
Izzy hugged Ezekiel back, and said, "Izzy is so happy now, you're no longer terrified to be around her!"
"I should say not, eh," the prairie boy said, letting out relieved laughter. "Oh man... Izzy... I'm so happy right now alive. I almost had to live with a peg leg or something like that, eh."
"I knew a pirate with a peg leg," Izzy told him. "He got termites one day and fell on his face during a duel. Sad, really."
Gwen shook her head, though she was smiling. "Oh, Izzy. You beat down a murderer, then you're telling crazy stories five minutes later."
Bridgette was next to hug Ezekiel. After wiping the tears from her eyes, she fished the tween Heather photo from her pocket. "Zeke," she said, "I'm really sorry, but I think this belongs to you."
Ezekiel's eyes widened when he took it back. "Oh... Bridgette, how'd you get this, eh?"
"Um," Bridgette stammered, "I took it-"
"No, I took it," Gwen cut in. "Sorry, home school, but it happened during the scavenger hunt challenge."
The prairie boy sighed, then said, "Doo'nt bother Heather a'boot it, please?"
Gwen touched her head bandage. "Hey, her swinging image caused me a concussion, do I really have to do her any favors?"
Beth giggled. "Well, it's so nice that everything ended up happily!"
"Unlike horror movies," Cody declared, smiling.
"Being tortured wasn't too bad," Harold admitted. "Puzzle was a lame villain, anyway."
"Hey now," Chris argued, frowning. "I'm sorry to break the news, campers, but someone is still leaving this island tonight."
"What?" replied Bridgette, shocked. "After all that?!"
(Later...)
The seven campers sat on the stump seats, watching Chris Maclean. The host stood in front of them, instead of behind the oil drum as per usual.
"The producers, Chef Hatchet, and I talked about the results of this challenge," the host explained to them. "And we came to a conclusion that we felt was the most fair."
"You didn't talk to me," Chef Hatchet, on the side, bitterly remarked.
"Beth, Harold, Cody, and Bridgette passed the challenge set up for them," Chris continued. "Ezekiel stood his ground against a real torturer / murderer / jellybean smuggler, and Izzy beat the living snot out of that guy and helped captured him.
"Which leaves Gwen, who couldn't complete her challenge or stand up to another murderer, the only one who is viable to walk the Dock of Shame."
"What?" Bridgette gasped. "That's not fair!"
Gwen, however, shrugged her shoulders.
"Good. I am so sick of this place, I'm actually glad to leave."
"Gwen...," Ezekiel started, looking guilty and sad for the goth girl.
"Guys, don't try to talk me out of this," she said as she stood up, smirking. "Unless, of course, one of you want to leave instead of me."
"I won't let that," Chris said. "Selflessness makes bad ratings!"
Gwen gathered up her stuff in her bags, and took the time to say good-bye to her friends. She hugged Bridgette and Cody, and high-fived most of the others. She fist-bumped with Izzy, exchanging wicked grins that only girls who've conquered murderers can pull off. The goth girl stopped in front of Chris.
"Oh, and by the way, Chris," she said, smiling all nice, "this is for everything you did for me and my friends."
She kneed him as hard as she possibly could in the groin.
As Chris fell to the ground writhing in pain, the six remaining campers and Chef cheered loudly for her. She walked the Dock of Shame, boarded the Boat of Losers, and waved good-bye to them.
"Bye Gwen," Ezekiel called out, waving still. "We'll miss you, eh!"
"Say hi to Trent, Geoff, and all the others for us," Bridgette cried.
"Keep on trucking, fellow murderer beater," Izzy shouted.
When Gwen was out of sight, the six campers walked slowly back to the cabins. They stopped in front of the two buildings, then exchanged glances.
"Ummmm," Beth stammered, looking scared. "Good night?"
"I... guess...," Harold said, hesitantly as he looked around.
An awkward silence loomed over the six campers. The wild howled through the trees, sending shivers down their spines.
Izzy finally broke the ice. "Let's all sleep in the same cabin, since we're going to be freaking scared out of our wits tonight."
"Yes," the others shouted, and they all ran into boys' side of the Screaming Gophers cabin.
(Confession Cam - Not as freaking scared.)
Chris Maclean - \holding his crotch in pain, his voice slightly higher\ "What's with this trend of my getting hurt after every marshmallow ceremony since the Final Ten? It ain't funny!"
Chef Hatchet - \laughing\ "Oh man, it's too funny to see Chris getting hurt every ceremony! He so deserves it, with all his..." \he puts on one of the Puzzle masks\ "pathetic excuses of torture that wouldn't even be censored in the American version!"
Harold - "What is with this island and how it attracts violent murders, huh? Is there a ferry for them?"
Ezekiel - \sighs happily\ "It's good to be alive, eh. And with all my limbs."
Izzy - "Izzy's the best! Woohoo, I'm the woman, I'm the woman! And I'm so happy that Ezekiel likes me again! And just between you and me and the entire viewing world..."
\She leans up to the camera and whispers.\ "He's a really good kisser. Heather, you better work to deserve those lips!"
Gwen sighed, miserable now on the Boat of Losers as it practically drifted towards it's destination.
"Stupid murderers. God, they get really annoying."
Someone inside the cabin of the boat cleared his throat. His voice echoed with that terrible, amplified chill. "Hello, Gwen," the mysterious figure said. "You thought you could escape me?"
The goth girl's froze, her heart skipping a couple beats. She managed to look up at the shadowy figure.
"Well, I managed to get away. And now... I want to play a game."
Gwen was frozen in terror for a few more seconds, then she snarled. "I am so...," she growled as she stormed over to the figure, "not...," she ripped off the person's mask, "in the mood! ...!"
She froze again when she saw who it was.
"Joke, joke," Trent whimpered, holding his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, it was in bad taste!"
Gwen blinked, then grabbed his shirt's collar. "You jerk," she shouted, though a smile was breaking out across her face. "Oh damn it, Trent, you know me too well!"
She yanked her boyfriend close to her, then gave him a kiss. He returned it, wrapping his arms around her. The moon shone down on the romantic moment, as the RCMP helicopter flew past the glowing sphere in the night sky.
Voted off List - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan, Tyler, Courtney, Eva, Noah, Heather, Gwen.
Remaining Campers - Harold, Cody, Beth, Bridgette, Ezekiel, Izzy. (6 left.)
--
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I hope I didn't offend too many Saw fans. I really hope no Gwen fans are going to come after me now, wanting to play a game. Gulp.
HA! I fooled you all! The jellybean smuggler was an original character! I won, I won, I won! \runs around pumping my fists in the air\
If you thought that was too far of a stretch, your only hint was that Ezekiel's interrogator was much harsher than the others, and Chris didn't pay Zeke any attention until the very end.
Yes, I completely ripped off the horror episode from TDI. I have no shame.
Six more campers remaining! Who's next to go, and who's ready for music next challenge? Who is ready to ROCK?! WOOHOO!