Thanks, everyone, for the reviews, I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying my story. And a big thanks to Hajnalmadar for pointing out I had anonymous reviews blocked, I totally didn't realize, so if you've tried to leave a review before and couldn't, I'm really sorry! Please feel free to try again! And enjoy this update, both chapters were so much fun to write!
Chapter 15: Confronting the Dursleys
Hermione watched Harry, Ginny and Ron play Exploding Snap for most of the trip back to King's Cross, forming plans in her mind. From time to time she interrupted the game to ask Harry questions, making a mental list of things to do. Prioritizing and changing the order, calculating odds.
By the time they got off the train at the station that evening, she had everything lined up in a row—or very nearly.
"I probably should have warned my mum I'm going home with you," Ron said to Harry. "You too, Hermione."
"No, I'm going home for a couple days." Hermione adjusted the cat carrier and tugged the trunk onto its wheels.
"I thought you were coming with us. You agreed." Ron looked surprised and confused.
Harry just gave her a speculative look. "What's forming in that brilliant mind of yours?"
"I have to spend a couple days with my parents. They've been worried sick about me, and I've a few other things to arrange. I can meet you there Saturday though. I've some books to buy, research to do, plans to arrange. If you need anything, Ron can Apparate to my place, or you can send Hedwig." Hermione nudged Ron forward as he was still gaping at her. "Everyone is waiting for us, and after the delicious encounter we're about to have with the Dursleys, I need to have a chat with your dad, Ron."
"Did you just say delicious?" Harry asked. He narrowed his green eyes at her.
"Oh, yes, I'm going to enjoy it immensely." After everything they had done to Harry over the years, there was little she wanted more than a chance to put them in their place. Now she had reached her majority, she was in a position to do so, if they forced her to it.
When they came out of the passageway to the Muggle side of the station, Hermione's parents were waiting nearby. She rushed into their arms, giving hugs and kisses, offering assurances and asking how they were. Arthur stood nearby where he had been talking to her parents, and Hermione looked about for the twins. Thankfully, they weren't there, or she might have been forced to hex them on sight. It would be much more interesting, not to mention private, if she could catch them at home or work. She doubted she would dare to be as inventive in public as she might with fewer observers.
As the Weasleys began tugging at Ron's trunk, he cleared his throat and looked at Harry, then over to his parents. "Um, I thought you should know, I plan to spend some time at the Dursleys' with Harry. The next few weeks at least."
Vernon Dursley was standing nearby and turned beet red at the possibility. "You most certainly are not. You are not invited to my house. It is bad enough having him live with us without you inviting yourself over." He stalked over to the group so he could talk in a lower voice, hoping not to attract attention.
"I'll be joining Ron and Harry in a few days myself. Well, two, actually. I'll be by sometime Saturday morning with my things."
"But, Hermione, we've just got you home again." Jane Granger seemed unhappy with the idea.
"You? I don't know where you think you're going to stay, Missy. We've not the room for the other one. Where do you think you'll sleep? Dudley has the only other bedroom." Vernon looked apoplectic now.
Holding back a grin, Hermione pretended to be considering his question; she had been hoping he'd bring that up. "Well, there is always the cupboard under the stairs. Dudley could sleep there. After all, I'll only be there a few weeks, and Harry slept there for years."
Harry's lips twitched while Vernon's mouth moved but made no sound. Then Harry stepped in, obviously relishing the moment. "I'm afraid Dudley would never fit. I've not slept there for years, you know, and Dudley is at least four times my size. It's doubtful he could fit through the door."
Hermione tapped her lips with the tip of her finger and made a humming noise. "That is a consideration. Well, we'll work something out. So I'll be over before lunch Saturday—"
"YOU WILL NOT!" Vernon finally exploded.
Staying perfectly calm, and affecting a puzzled expression, Hermione answered, "Of course I will. I just said I would, didn't I? So how about we shoot for eleven, and I'll let you know if anything changes."
"YOU ARE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE! WHAT WOULD I TELL THE NEIGHBORS?"
"Good question. You could always tell people the truth, that we're school chums of Harry's."
"No, I'm afraid that won't work," Harry said with a wave of his hand. "Everyone in the neighborhood thinks I go to a school for incurably criminal boys. You aren't a boy, Hermione."
"Yeah, and I don't think I want the whole neighborhood to think I'm a criminal either," Ron said.
"Right. So I guess we'll have to be relatives. We can be distant cousins who haven't seen Harry since he was a baby. Of course, we all would have been babies at that point. But anyway, now that we're growing up, the Dursleys have kindly allowed us to spend a few weeks visiting our cousin." Hermione had planned to take this course of action from the beginning, but couldn't help poking at Vernon a bit first.
"You're no relation of mine. I will never agree to that." Vernon's tone had dropped as he noticed all the speculative looks shooting his way. "And besides, neither of you two are coming with Harry. It's bad enough I had to raise him without having more of your lot in my home. What would I tell people about your families?"
"Ron's father works for the government, and my parents are dentists. What could be more normal than that? Besides, we wouldn't want to be known to be related to you any more than you'd relish the thought of being related to us. We're related to Harry on his father's side. And the bit about being distant relatives, Mrs. Weasley, aren't the Potters tied into your family somewhere?"
"Yes, of course, dear. James would have been my fourth cousin three times removed on my mother's side, and our second cousin once removed through marriage on Arthur's father's side."
"See, we are related!" Ron brightened at this thought and pounded Harry on the back.
"Perfect. Can't claim any wizard blood myself, but that should be good enough for anyone else. So, back to the issues at hand. Can we fit both boys' trunks in your car Mr. Dursley?"
"No need," Ron said before Vernon could answer. "We packed our things so the stuff we need right away is all in Harry's trunk and our extra books and stuff is in mine. My parents can take it home for me, and if I need some of it, I'll just pop over and pick it up."
"You won't be popping anywhere in my neighborhood," Vernon said with venom oozing from his voice. His eyes were starting to look a bit wild, however, as though he was trying to figure out how to bully his way out of this without getting hexed.
All this time Petunia had been standing by, watching the exchange like someone at a tennis game, her mouth hanging open in surprise at the young witch's gall and presumption. "That's right, he can't just pop back and forth between his house and ours. You can't do magic outside of school."
"Oh, but you see," Hermione said with a feral grin, fingering her wands so just the tip protruded from her sleeve where the Dursleys could see it. "Ron and I are of age, which means we can do all the magic we want. And on his birthday Harry—who is, I might add, a very powerful wizard—he'll be able to do magic too. And we know some rather imaginative curses."
"Hermione's a natural. She can do spells on her first try that fully qualified wizards take a lot of practice to perfect," Ron said. "And I've always said she's a bit scary."
Hermione brightened as if thrilled with the compliment. "That's true. You always have said that, haven't you?"
"Hermione Granger!" Her mother interrupted. "I did not raise my daughter to speak to her elders like this. Never mind virtual strangers."
"Sorry, Mum, but you didn't raise me to ignore injustice either, and the way these people have neglected and abused Harry is just beyond belief."
"I never laid a hand on him," Vernon said, though his eyes nearly bugged out at the suggestion.
Hermione leveled a long look at him. "Not all abuse is physical. Locking a teenager in his bedroom with little food for weeks and only letting him out for bathroom breaks does fit in most people's ideas of abuse. I wonder what your neighbors would think if they knew Harry wasn't a criminal and didn't attend a school for incurably criminal boys. There are lots of things we could tell the neighbors."
"Magical secrecy, Hermione," Arthur Weasley reminded her.
Molly Weasley's face was a mix of amusement and panic as she vacillated between enjoying the Dursleys' discomfort and worrying things might get out of hand.
"Yes, of course. Well, there are ways of shocking the neighbors without bringing magic into the mix. Of course, if the Dursleys only put up with our visit for a few weeks, we promise to keep to ourselves, stay out of their hair and not speak overmuch to their neighbors."
"That's blackmail," Vernon said.
"That's a promise." Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. She nearly smiled when she realized she was doing an apt impression of her husband.
"Very well." Vernon clenched his teeth. "See that you bring no attention to yourselves."
"Agreed." Since it's really not in our best interest to bring attention to ourselves anyway.
The Dursleys muttered as they stalked back to their car, Ron and Harry following right behind them. Hermione smirked, then turned to the Weasleys, who were arranging Ginny's trunk along with Ron's. "Mr. Weasley, can I speak with you for a minute? I have a quick question or two."
"Yes, of course. You go along, Molly." Arthur looked impressed and a bit bewildered.
"Mum and Dad, I'll be right out to the car. Promise I won't be more than a couple minutes."
Jane Granger lifted an eyebrow at her daughter and gave her a look that indicated there would be lots of explaining going on in the next few hours. "Don't be long."
Holding back a sigh, Hermione turned back to Arthur, and they began walking out of the train station. When she was sure no one was paying attention to them, Hermione began. "I have just a couple quick questions and requests, if you can help us out. First, is Mrs. Figg's Floo connected to the network?"
"Yes, has been forever."
"Great. Harry's too young to Apparate, so I figured we may have to do some Flooing to get around here and there. Second, can you let the Ministry know that Ron and I will be living at the Dursleys for the foreseeable future and that any magic coming from that location is ours, not Harry's?"
"Of course, though they have already placed an Auror near his house for the time being to protect him. What else, Hermione?"
Aurors. Wonderful. That should make things interesting. "Well, I've been thinking. I know the Dursleys only have the three bedrooms, but I figured if you could see about borrowing one of those tents that we used for the Quidditch World Cup, I could stay in the back yard. That would alleviate some of the space issues and give the three of us somewhere private to talk, once I've applied appropriate wards to the tent, of course."
Arthur smiled "Got it all figured out, have you?"
"Not quite, but I'm getting there. One more question; are the twins still living above their shop?"
"Yes, though Molly had them coming home at night the past few days. This whole thing has spooked her, you know. I don't imagine it will last much longer."
Hermione's smile grew feral. "What time do they get up in the morning? I have a bit of unfinished business I need to conduct with them."
Arthur looked as though he wasn't sure he wanted to answer her, but did so anyway. "They get up around eight."
"Great. Expect me about 7:30. Oh, and tell Molly I'd be happy to help her with the wedding in any way she may need."
"Right. I'll see about that tent when we get home."
"I'd appreciate it."
They walked out into the hot and humid evening air. Hermione said goodbye to Mr. Weasley before turning toward the aisle where her mother stood waving her over.
"What was that all about?" her mother asked when they fell into step together.
"Just some housekeeping items." She looked over at her mother and noticed the dark smudges under the woman's eyes. That made Hermione feel worse than her recent bout against Vernon Dursley ever would. She hated that she caused her parents so much stress. "I'm sorry I've made you worry so much. I know the past couple days must have been horrible for you. I just couldn't leave before the funeral. I couldn't."
"I know that, honey. I can't imagine what you've been through, having your professor attack your Headmaster like that. That Snape must be a deeply horrible person."
"Funny how that keeps coming up." And now I really can't introduce my parents to him. How would I ever explain, even if I decide he's not quite as guilty as he appears? What have I gotten myself into?
Chapter 16: Getting Even
That night Hermione sat in her childhood bed with the Tinkerbell table lamp glowing beside her. If she'd had any idea what fairies were really like when she was a kid, she would never have bought the thing. But as it was a reminder of her youthful enchantment with magic, Hermione hadn't bothered to replace it. Especially as she rarely came home for more than a couple weeks at a time.
Her mother had peppered her with questions about her involvement in the events the night Severus had killed the Headmaster. She asked about Hermione's summer plans and what would happen the following school year. Hermione was honest about the school possibly not opening again, but hadn't mentioned her intention to skip the year to go Horcrux hunting. If she didn't take her N.E.W.T.s, she would find her job prospects very narrow. But there was no reason she couldn't prepare for the tests on her own. She added a mental note to head to Diagon Alley for seventh-year textbooks as soon as she reasonably could—the next day if possible.
Her fingers tapped on the cover of the diary. Did she want to open it? She had studiously ignored it for the past few days, but she did need to make contact with Severus soon to make arrangements to meet with him the next night. She had no idea how she would explain her absence to her parents as they already knew she wasn't meeting the boys at the Dursleys' until the following morning.
With a sigh she flipped the book open to the place where she had last written in it. There were a few entries, all dated, strangely enough. He must have gotten irritated that she didn't respond and made sure she knew which one was written which day. The last time she had written him, it had been the early hours of Tuesday. It was now Thursday evening.
Tuesday night
Hermione, can you get away for the night Friday? I'd like us to have plenty of time to think and talk together, and I'm afraid an hour or two won't suffice.
Wednesday morning
Hermione, did you receive my message? I don't think a 24-hour period has passed since the potion when we haven't been in contact. I need to know about Friday.
Wednesday night
Where are you?
Thursday evening
Have you changed you mind about tomorrow? We really do need to speak, and I wouldn't want you to suffer any hardships from the bond, due to our separation.
Hermione interpreted that to mean he was getting physically anxious. The truth was she did find herself jittery today. Nearly three days without her Severus Snape fix was wearing on her, and she knew he felt the same way.
I'm here, Severus. Yes, we still need to meet tomorrow. I don't know if I can get away for that long. Or maybe I'll have to wait until after my parents go to bed. They already know I'm not expected at the Dursleys' until Saturday morning.
The Dursley's? Why are you going to the place where Saint Potter grew up?
Hermione smiled to herself when his words instantly started to appear. His snark nearly leapt of the pages.
Ron and I decided to spend a few weeks with Harry. It'll give us time to work on . . .things. Projects and all that.
I probably don't want to know. The less I know the better, if it has anything to do with what the Headmaster and Potter were doing away from the castle that night. I'm not sure I like the idea of you being at the Dursleys'. How safe will you really be there?
Considering that the home is protected from Vol—the Dark Lord and his minions, I imagine it's probably about the safest place on earth for us right now. Even you can't reach me there.
Granted. Are you sure you don't want to meet tonight? I could come to you. I long to touch you, to slide my hands across your skin. Put my mark on that sensitive patch of skin just below your collar bone.
Despite the fact that she was still angry, his words still affected her. Stop, please stop before you send my blood pressure through the roof. Hermione imagined he was chuckling on his end now. He was such a berk sometimes. Still, if she had demurred and pretended not to be affected by the images now dancing in her head, he would know better. And he was getting every bit as excited as she was.
This was supposed to be a meeting of the minds, Severus, not a chance to get off.
Get both of us off, don't forget. And we will talk, especially if you have the night to spend in my arms. It's the only way to take care of both our problems at once. Speaking of blood pressure, what were you doing in Weasley's arms today?
Hermione sighed. She had known this was coming up.
He's my friend, remember? I needed someone to lean on, and my husband was across the crowd hiding so the Aurors wouldn't cart him off to Azkaban.
He doesn't think of you as only a friend, my wife.
Doubtful, but it matters little what he thinks of me, as I am forever tied to the bat of the dungeons. What's more, I don't want anyone but you. Surely you could tell that I wasn't interested in him, that I felt nothing but friendship for him. I needed someone to hold onto. How can you deny me my friends when you've made it impossible for me to collect that comfort from you?
I am no sympathetic man anyway.
Right, I forget. You're deeply horrible.
Why did that come across sarcastic?
Because you're wearing off on me. Look, I'll see what I can do about getting away and let you know before dinnertime tomorrow. I have some plans tomorrow that need to be taken care of. Starting with an early visit with Fred and George Weasley. It is way past time they had their comeuppance.
That's a memory I might have to see. I'll have a Muggle motel room reserved. Come as early as you can and stay all night if you can arrange it.
I'll let you know. Goodnight.
*****
The next day she showed up at the Burrow, wand in hand. It was still early morning, early enough Hermione was hoping to catch Mr. Weasley before he left for work to check on that tent and discuss a couple other things she'd thought of over night.
Molly opened the door with a warm smile. "Hermione dear, it's so good to see you. I hope you are well?"
"Very well. Is Ginny up? How about Mr. Weasley? I'd like to speak with them, if there's time."
Molly looked surprised, but nodded. "Of course, I'll get Arthur. Ginny will still be in bed asleep, you can go up and give her a shake if you like."
"I think I will." Hermione Apparated up to Ginny's room and nudged her. "Gin, wake up."
"What's going on?" Ginny rubbed her eyes and yawned. "Been to see Harry yet?"
Hermione smiled at Ginny's question, it hadn't been twenty-four hours since she spoke with him last. "No. Thought I might pop by this afternoon just for the fun of harassing the Dursleys again. But I have other business to see to first."
"Business. You sound just like the twins. Everything's business to them. They spent the whole evening telling me about their newest products."
"Speaking of the twins." Hermione allowed a sadistic smile to come over her face. "Your dad said they were staying here sometimes?"
"Yeah, they keep talking about returning to their flat over the store, but then Mum cries about how she's losing all her babies and they let the subject drop a little longer. They came home last night." She looked into Hermione's face for the first time and lifted a brow. "If that look's for them, I'm glad I'm me. You look scary."
"They're going to be sorry they were ever born." She smirked, then left the room and crossed the hall to where the twins slept.
It was still early enough she had high hopes of catching them still abed. The question was which of her many, many fantasies of revenge to use first. She slipped the wand from her sleeve and opened their bedroom door silently.
Morning was not the twins' best time of day. She knew this not only from seeing them in the common room first thing in the morning for all those years, but also from the times she had stayed at the Burrow. If they were due at the shop at eight-thirty, they wouldn't be up until eight. And it was only a little past seven-thirty now.
Two lumps in the beds told her they were still sleeping, though she couldn't see even a hint of their skin or hair. The question was which brother to pick on first, since she couldn't do them both at the same time. Then again, since she couldn't tell which was which without seeing them, she doubted it mattered much.
With a flick of her wrist, one of the twins, Fred she realized when he let out a yelp, rose from the bed by his ankle. She had him spin a few circles in the air, then stuck him to the ceiling in nothing but his underwear. Thankfully, their room had a high ceiling. George was just peeking out of the covers when she gave him similar treatment. Boxers this time. Not a detail she really cared to know, but she worked on ignoring it as she considered her next move. "So many options, so little time."
"What's going on?" Fred asked, wide awake now and staring daggers at her. "What's the deal 'Mione?"
George let a few expletives fly. "We were sleeping. We've been putting in loads of hours at the shop. Give us a break."
"Yes, and I was moving happily along in my life until your interference. You had to make things difficult though, didn't you?" She really was feeling much nicer about the whole prank thing now, or she was until Severus killed Dumbledore. It had renewed her irritation with the twins. If it hadn't been for them, she wouldn't have the extra worry about whether or not Severus was telling her the truth or was playing her. She wouldn't worry constantly if he would end the day still breathing. All of the hiding, sneaking around and confusion were their fault. Still, she couldn't feel bad about placing the blame squarely on their shoulders without giving them credit for her tingling excitement when Severus pulled her close and kissed her.
Of course, she enjoyed being in love most of the time. She couldn't find much fault there, or wouldn't under different circumstances. Seeing as how they had figured their prank would be nothing but harmless fun, she thought they deserved a little lesson.
"Our interference?" Fred spluttered. "But we hadn't heard anything for so long, we thought you were finally happy with your soul mate. You didn't even hex us at the funeral. And the way you were cuddled up to Ron made us think you had worked out your problem."
"Ron isn't my soul mate. And please, like I would cause a scene at Dumbledore's funeral. What kind of person do you think I am?" She twisted her wand twice, and they each fell in turn onto their beds again. Then she conjured two large buckets of ice cold water from thin air and dumped it on them. She still stood in the door way, out of harm's way.
"A sadistic one," George told her through his chattering teeth.
"Oh, come now. I thought you would both appreciate getting baths this morning, I just saved you some time." She smiled as a new thought occurred to her. Remembering what she had done to Marietta Edgecomb in her fifth year, she gave each of them a new look. Their freckles changed colors, flashing from one to the next, each spot rotating through the spectrum like a circus ride. Marietta's had all been purple and formed the word SNEAK across her face. They had also lasted for months despite anything Madam Pomfrey could do.
"And you could each use a new look. That should do it. Don't worry, unlike what you did to me, your spots will return to normal color again. Eventually." She walked out the door, slamming it behind her with magic and returned to the kitchen, a new spring in her step. Considering the fates she had thought up for the two of them, the colored spots were positively generous. Of course, they may not agree when the rotating colors continued on their skin for the next six months at least. And that was if they didn't try to remove them magically—which they were certain to do. That last bit was inspired by their fireworks, which multiplied with every attempt to destroy them. Only in this case she figured they had enough spots already, so lengthening the duration was the best bet.
"Mr. Weasley, I'm so glad I caught you." Hermione spotted him as soon as she entered the kitchen.
"Sit, Hermione, join us for breakfast. There's always enough to go around," Molly invited and Hermione agreed.
Ginny sat blinking over her cup of tea. "What's going on?"
Charlie had come down as well. The second-oldest Weasley brother returned to Britain after Dumbledore's demise, wanting to be on hand to help the Order now that it was well known that Voldemort was back. He grinned at Hermione and offered her a seat next to him.
Hermione poked around the edges of the topic of the Horcruxes, asking for more information, hypothesizing and getting feedback without letting the older two men know what the actual subject was. They both looked completely baffled by her questions. She made a note to ask Bill about curses that might be on the objects when he was feeling better and then turned the subject to defensive spells for her to work on with the boys. Hermione was just putting away the paper when the twins came scowling down the stairs.
Molly, whose back was toward the boys, spoke over her shoulder. "I didn't expect you for another twenty minutes. Have some tea or coffee and I'll get something whipped up."
"What happened to your faces?" Ginny asked with a grin, staring at the rotating colors.
Hermione took a sip of her coffee, keeping her expression as bland as possible.
"Hermione did it. We can't get it off, either. We spent five minutes trying to get the bloody spots to return to normal."
After allowing a sly smile to cross her face, Hermione tipped her head. "I figure you just upped the life of your 'ailment' by a good, hmmm, twenty percent. Very likely more. You'd be better off letting it alone."
"How long are we talking here?" Fred asked, his eyes narrowing.
"Do you remember Marietta Edgecomb? She may still wear her makeup thicker than normal." She figured it was an exaggeration, or might be anyway, but didn't worry about correcting the perception.
Both men looked horrified.
"What have you two done?" Molly demanded. Obviously she decided Hermione wouldn't have attacked them without cause.
Both Fred and George looked at their mother, looked at Hermione, then back at each other. Fred spoke up. "Nothing. Nothing you need to worry about. Obviously our Hermione can give as good as she gets."
"I wouldn't concern myself about it if I were you, Mum," George added.
"Don't worry, Mrs. Weasley. They'll think twice before trying anything like it again. I promise you. This," she waved a hand toward the boys, "is nothing compared to the havoc I could have wrought. In fact, they're lucky I didn't see them months ago." She shot a glare in their directions. "I had much more inventive ideas I decided against using. Your mother didn't deserve that kind of heartache."
"Don't worry, we won't make that mistake again." Fred spoke, but George nodded his enthusiastic agreement.
Molly looked at Hermione with a touch of admiration before turning her back on the lot of them to finish preparing breakfast.
"That was brilliant, Hermione. Nobody gets the better of those two." Charlie's eyes sparkled at her over his coffee cup, and Hermione grinned back before returning her attention to her own cup.
She wondered how long it would be before Ron and Charlie got the story out of the twins. Not long enough, that was for sure.