Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. We'd love to take credit for writing this, but we have to give Chuck Norris credit for that; we don't know why.
To Everybody - I know there a lot of people upset over the results of the Beth, Justin, and Cody love triangle. Some are happy. I'll try to make it up to you all.
Warning! - This chapter contains a bit more sexual humor than normal. If you don't like that, you have been warned.
And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!
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(Narrated by Chris Maclean, who is talking under an umbrella during a rain storm.)
Welcome to Total Drama Comeback!
Nice weather we're having, huh? Well, let me get to the recap of the last episode!
We visited the losers at Playa de Losers, as they were lounging about in Loser-Hood! What a bunch of... well, you get the idea. Point is, they all had something to say about the current five campers who had not received the boot just yet.
Then the five campers were brought over for a special challenge. The losers were forced to build block statues of the winning five. As they constructed, there was love in the air: Ezekiel mended bridges with Heather, Beth and Justin found themselves falling for each other, and Bridgette couldn't stay off Geoff. Wow, I've seen hormonal teens, and then there are those two.
In the end, Izzy won the contest, and Beth was dubbed Least Popular of the Winners by the campers voting. Though it was a happy ending for her, as she wound up with the gorgeous, handsome, and actually deeper than a pretty face Justin.
Tough luck, Cody bra.
But enough of the losers! We have four potential winners: Bridgette, Izzy, Cody, and Ezekiel! We are at the semifinals, and one more camper has to go!
\The host holds out a hand from under the umbrella.\ See this weather? Remember last season, when we sent the campers up the creek? This time, we have something much more challenging!
What ever could it be? How many laws will I have to bend to get away with such a thing? And what will happen when the four campers are alone with each other? Hopefully, we will be able to screen all of it... on TOTAL... DRAMA... \loud thunder clap\... yipe!... COMEBACK!
(cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)
Chapter 49 (Day 19, Part 1) - Ocean's Four and a Raccoon
(Last Night.)
Bridgette stood on the patio of the Killer Bass cabin, Ezekiel right next to her.
"Ah rain," she said, smiling. "Nature's way of cleaning."
"Awfully big coincidence, eh?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, there was a freak rain storm when there were only four campers last season, eh. Same thing here."
Bridgette raised one of her slender eyebrows. "Hmmmm, true," she mused. "But I doubt that Chris Maclean can manipulate the weather that well."
"I guess so."
"It'd take an extraordinary genius to bend our Mother Nature to their will," the surfer girl said, chuckling. "And no one should mess with her."
"Ayup yup."
As they continued to watch the rain, the two campers at the Screaming Gophers were also on their patio, though neither were watching the rain.
"Is Cody still sad he lost Beth?" Izzy asked Cody. The brunet geek was sitting in a chair, busy playing on an electronic, hand-held game.
"No, not really," he said distantly.
"Not at all?"
"Why would I think about her now? She's happy with Justin, much more. After all, he's so handsome and talented and deeper than a scrawny tech-geek like me..."
Izzy came up behind him and rubbed his shoulders. "Poor poor Cody. Izzy feels for you, she really does. And she hates Justin too."
"I don't hate Justin."
"Then you're a better man than Izzy," she said, then giggled. "Just to let you know something, I think you're the third coolest guy of all guys on Wawanakwa."
"Third?"
"Owen's first, Zeke's second, you're third."
Cody smiled. "Third ain't that bad. Thanks Izzy."
"No problem!"
As the four teenagers watched (Bridgette and Ezekiel the rain, Cody and Izzy the hand-held game), Chris came over wearing a raincoat, goulashes, and an umbrella.
"Okay campers, get some sleep now," he instructed them. "Tomorrow starts the semifinals!"
(Confession Cam - Place your bets!)
Cody - "I'm still shocked that I got this far, you know? Though I struck out, well twice, I have come a long way. Still..." \he sighs\ "it just doesn't feel that great right now. Maybe I'd feel better if I hadn't... naw, I don't want to dwell on the negative."
Bridgette - "Oh wow, I cannot believe it! I'm at the final four! Just two more challenges! Wow, what a lucky girl I am! Mom, if you're watching this, I love you, and if I win this contest, we can use some of the money to re-seed the garden! And fix the garage door, that thing never works."
Izzy - "I really think that I have a good shot at winning the whole thing, since I have the killer instinct, the mortal combat skills, I'm a real street fighter, and I'm a super, smashing sister! Woohoo! The only issue is that I love the other three a lot; Izzy's never felt this closer to a group of beings than the thing she made friends with a wolf pack."
Ezekiel - "Who could have seem me do so well, eh? Me, the little twerp who was voted off first last season, nearing the finals? Sometimes, though, I wish I would get voted off, because Bridgette, Izzy, and Cody deserve to win this so much moo'r. I already got a girlfriend 'oot of this."
\He waves at the camera.\ "Heather, if you're watching this, I hope the others are giving you a break, eh! Take care... um, babe!"
The four campers wished each other good-bye, then crawled into bed. They all fell asleep, soothed by the steady rhythm of the rain.
Chris Maclean headed over to the cafeteria, where Chef was cleaning up after dinner. "Evening, Chris."
"Evening, Chef. Evening, Joel."
"Howdee-doo," the young inventor said. He was seated at a table, looking over some papers. "Chris, are you sure this upcoming challenge is going to be safe?"
"Of course, dude. We did something like this before, it should be all right."
"But-"
"Now now now, think about the ratings when this pulls off," the host said, chuckling. "You're a good kid, Joel, I cannot wait to torment you next season."
"Gee, thanks."
As the host downed a cup of hot chocolate, he headed out. Joel looked over at Chef Hatchet. "Aren't you concerned in the least, Chef?"
"No."
"Even though Chris is using the Climate Organizer R-4000?"
"Okay, that I'm a little worried about."
Joel scratched his head, looking worried. "You know, I really don't think Chris Maclean should use machines that can influence nature. With great power comes great responsibility, and that doesn't involve ratings."
"Lighten up, wrench boy. Enjoy the fact that you're assisting us, and not under the spotlight."
Chef then poured himself and Joel some coffee; however, Joel noticed something unusual about the liquid.
"Holy being from another planet," the young inventor shouted, "is the coffee trying to escape from the mug?"
Chef noticed this too, and hurriedly ran to the back of his kitchen. Coming back with a very large tenderizer, he smashed both mugs, pounding the counter where the liquid spilled on. With ragged panting, he said, "Not no mo' it ain't!"
Joel stared with a mixture of horror and disbelief.
(Confession Cam - Now that's some strong coffee!)
Joel - "Remind me to order out in season three.
"Anyway, I know you all are probably wondering what the Climate Organizer R-4000. It's similar to the Climate Organizer R-3000, which Chris used last season to cause a powerful rain storm that sent the two cabins adrift down the river.
"This time it's a little different. The winds are blowing the other way, and they're going to get a lot more powerful. It's almost dangerous, but the thing is, since Wawanakwa is the only place to really be hit by the storm, Chris says there is no danger of any damage to the environment, since this is a really crappy island overall.
"And if you're wondering why we inventors like to put thousand numbers at the end of our inventions, it's because we think it's cool. We're allowed to do that, we made it, and it sounds futuristic."
The winds really did pick up, as Joel said; he barely made it back to the cafeteria after his little confession in the Confessional Cam. The brunet inventor looked out the window and saw trees whipping around.
"You know what the worst part of all this is, Chef?"
"What's that, wrench boy?"
"If this turns out to be a pattern for when there are only four campers left in the game every season, Chris is eventually going to flatten this island with a hurricane."
"How's that bad?"
"Because once he doesn't have to host the show, he'll be like the next James Bond villain and play God with nature."
"Possibly."
"What, you hoping to be sidekick?"
"No, I'll be the henchman that stabs his boss in the back at the last minute," said the large cook, dusting the pieces of the coffee mugs into a dustbin. "Master Chief, that'd be my name."
Joel raised an eyebrow. "Well, it's good to have goals."
(The Next Day, which is right after yesterday.)
The morning sun rose over the horizon, a glorious sight. It was a thing of beauty to behold, but it wasn't so beautiful to Cody, who got a ray beam directly in his eyes.
"Mrrrghll farrrgn," he grumbled, trying to cover his head and ignore the rocking feeling he had. Cody felt like he slept weird, because that weird rocking had been in his dreams too, and it hadn't left him yet.
"Forget this," he muttered. Pulling himself out of bed, he started to dress himself, still unable to shake the rocking feeling.
"I must have slept really weird," he thought to himself as he headed for the door.
When he opened and walked out on the patio, he stopped. Usually greeting him was the sight of the grassy campgrounds, the birds chirping, or possibly Chris's air horn. None of these were here right now.
It was water.
Water, water, and nothing but water in all directions. Not a scrap of land, not a hint of bird life, and certainly no Chris with an air horn.
Cody took this all in as best a calm, well-paced, smooth, and accepting teenager like he was could: he let out a horrified scream.
In only a few seconds, Ezekiel was out his door, still in his boxers and throwing on a shirt. "Cody! What's wrong, eh? What's-"
He ran right into the water. Bridgette came out just as he resurfaced, sputtering and gasping.
"This wasn't here last night," Cody shouted as Ezekiel dog-paddled back to the Killer Bass cabin. Bridgette gasped, her hands over her mouth in horror.
"What happened?" she gasped. "Where are we? Are we... Zeke!"
The prairie boy was laying on the patio, curled up and shivering. "F-f-f-freezing...," he stammered. Bridgette came to his side.
"Well, of course it's freezing," said Izzy, matter-of-factly. Cody jumped, for he didn't even recall Izzy coming out of the girls' side of the Gopher cabin. "We're in the ocean."
"The ocean?" Cody yelled, his hands on his head. "But... but... that's impossible!"
"D-doesn't... look... imp-impossible...," Ezekiel managed to say.
"Zeke, stay focused," Bridgette instructed him, then turned to Izzy and Cody. "You two! Please see if Chris left a little note for us or something to explain this insanity. I'll take care of Ezekiel."
"I know exactly what happened," Izzy said, leaning on the balcony as Cody darted into the boys' side of the Gopher cabin. "Chris cranked up some artificial weather machine, and now he wants us to compete out here in the middle of the ocean!"
She tapped her lips in thought. "Though how we do that is beyond me... what do you guys think?"
Izzy looked around and noticed that no one was there. Looking crestfallen, she then noticed the Confessional Cam float nearby the cabins.
(Confession Cam - Lost In Sea!)
Izzy - "This is pretty wild! I always wanted to be lost at sea! I was once, but I don't really count that time, because I hated the people I was stuck with. No fun at all, they didn't want to do I Spy or Charades while on that raft!"
Ezekiel - "How is that the ocean water is so cold, eh? The sun's shining on it half of every day, shouldn't it be a little warmer or something?!"
Cody - "What I want to know is, how is that the cabins can float? Were they built for that purpose? And how is it this Confession Cam floats? It has a hole in the bottom!"
Bridgette - \glaring at the camera\ "Real funny, Chris! What would have happened if the cabins sank?"
Chris was scarfing down honey-roasted peanuts at his trailer, with Chef Hatchet and Joel nearby. "Don't worry about those cabins sinking," he told the two. "They were built for floating."
"Seems kind of silly to have added that feature during construction," Joel said, shrugging, "but I'm not gonna complain."
"Now, let's check in on them," the host said as he headed over to a large collection of TVs and controls. He began to fiddle with them, but nothing appeared on the screens. "Um, Joel? Use your technology wisdom to fix these, please."
"I can't do that."
"What? Why not? Afraid of voiding warranty?"
"No, I'm not worried about that, since they're your TVs. I can't get in contact with the cabin cameras because someone removed all of them some time ago."
"What?" Chris looked downcast.
"Don't look at me, I only removed the cameras in the kitchen," Chef Hatchet said. "Kitchen time is Chef's alone time, maggot!"
"Jeez, fine," the handsome host grumbled. "But how will we know were they are?"
Joel walked over, and pressed a few buttons. A radar map appeared on the central TV screen, with Wawanakwa Island in the bottom-left corner. Two blips, one green and one red, were far out at sea, very slowly drifting towards the island.
"At the current rate, they should be here in two days," the young inventor said. "Thanks to the Climate Organizer R-4000, the winds are blowing them this way."
"Yeah, who needs the moon when we can control the tides?" Chef Hatchet said. "Stupid moon never did anything for me, don't see why girls find it so romantic."
Chris sighed. "Well, I left instructions on the four doors of the teammates. They tell them why they are there, what the challenge is, what the teams are, and how voting will go down when they arrive."
"You left the instructions on the doors?" Joel asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah."
"On the inside of the doors, right?"
"Only for the Killer Bass, I'm afraid to go inside a cabin where Izzy is sleeping. You think I'm a fool?"
"Maybe in the sense that you put a note on the outside of a door during a hurricane," Joel commented.
Chris took this in, and shrugged. "Meh. Actually, that makes it more fun."
After Ezekiel was changed into warm clothes and breathing normally again, Bridgette noticed the note on the door. She tore it off and began reading it.
"Cody, Izzy," she called out. "Can you come over here?"
The two Screaming Gophers leapt from patio to patio, since the cabins were close enough. Izzy was a little bit of a showoff, doing a flip with her jump. Once the four campers were together, Bridgette began to read the note.
"Dear Campers,
Welcome to the Semifinal Challenge! Today, you will be competing in teams of two, in a test of endurance and character! You will notice that you are adrift at sea right now-"
"Oh no," Cody interrupted, sarcasm thick in his voice. "I don't think we noticed."
"I hope you don't get cabin fever, ha ha ha. Now, you will find further instructions on the note inside the girls' side of the Killer Bass cabin."
Bridgette looked up from the note, then headed over to the instructed place. She came back with the second note.
"Now, as I stated in the previous note, you are going to be judged on your character, your actions, and your endurance. You will be judged by me (your handsome host), Chef Hatchet, and Joel. This is the challenge I like to call The Lost Cabins.
"The teams for this challenge and the method we will choose how next loser will be voted off will be on notes on the Screaming Gophers cabin doors."
"I don't remember seeing any notes," Cody said, then looked over at his cabin. He shrugged and headed over.
"No stealing my underwear while you're in my side," Izzy called out.
"I wonder what he means by endurance," Bridgette mused.
"Probably not losing it completely, eh," Ezekiel said. He sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "Guess I already lost some points."
Izzy swallowed nervously, looking to the side. "Um... guys? There might be a bit of a problem with Chris judging us."
"You mean besides the fact that he has no regard to the safety of our lives," Bridgette said, "that he's completely self-absorbed, and I don't think he even has standards set out?"
"No, but those are true," Izzy said. "The real problem is that there are no cameras in the cabins anymore."
"What?" Ezekiel and Bridgette asked in unison.
"I... um... kind of removed them all."
"What?! Why?!"
"Izzy wanted her alone time!!" the redhead shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.
"But why'd you remove the cameras from the boys' side of the Gopher cabin?" Ezekiel asked.
"In case Izzy wanted alone time with Owen."
Bridgette looked at Izzy unsteadily. "But... why the Killer Bass cameras?"
"In case it didn't work between Owen and I, so that I could have alone time with Zeke."
Ezekiel turned bright red in the face and tapped his fingers together nervously. Bridgette stifled a laugh and asked, "Okay, but what about the cameras in my side?"
"In case things didn't work out between Geoff and you, and you two wanted your alone time together!"
Now Bridgette was bright red in the face. She looked nervously at Ezekiel, but the prairie boy had pulled his toque down over his eyes in embarrassment. "Um, Izzy?" the surfer girl said, "you sure have a weird sense of romance."
"Izzy is a crack pairing fan," the redhead said, beaming proudly. "Izzy loves the idea of things going completely different than they were supposed to be, and people hooking up with other people! Like the chaos theory, it is!"
As Bridgette and Ezekiel tried to recover from this embarrassment, Izzy bounced on the heels of her feet. "I wonder if that means I lose?" she mused. "But it was worth it, to get my alone time. Izzy would have been a little bit embarrassed if she had talked in her sleep last night. She had a naughty dream."
"Hey guys!"
Cody was leaning over the balcony of the Screaming Gophers cabin. "Guys, I can't find those notes!"
"What?" Bridgette cried out, snapping out of her disconcerted state. "Cody, are you sure? Did you check around the doors?"
"I checked everywhere!"
"You didn't check my underwear drawer, did you?" Izzy asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow.
"Um, no," Cody remarked. He looked at the doors to the cabin, then noticed something. "Hey... there's a little bit of tape on the doors."
"On the 'ootside?" Ezekiel asked.
"Yeah."
There was silence between the four for a few seconds. "You mean to tell me," Ezekiel said, shaking his head, "that Chris put some notes on the 'ootside part of the doors of the cabin during a hurricane?"
"... Looks like it."
"What a dumb dickweed, eh," he cursed. He looked over at the two girls and said, "Soo'ry a'boot my language, eh."
"I was thinking much worse words," Bridgette admitted.
"I was thinking much worse actions," Izzy said cheerfully.
(Confession Cam - I was thinking what you were thinking.)
Cody - "So we're stuck at sea with no clue what to do, or how long we'll be left out here. With two hot babes!" \He grins, then his face falls.\ "Who are both taken."
"So what are we going to do for our viewers, since we don't have any cameras with the campers?" Chef Hatchet asked.
Chris tapped his chin. "Well, I'm sure the viewers would love to know more about me and you, Chef!"
Joel raised an eyebrow. "You sure? This isn't the biography channel, Chri-"
"My career began in junior high," Chris said to the camera, leaning back in his chair. "Or I like to think it did. I started to do the morning announcements, and..."
As the host continued to rant about himself, Chef Hatchet started to look sick. The cook rolled his eyes as Chris said "handsome face" for the fifth time in three minutes.
"Joel," he muttered to the young inventor, "I will pay you money to club him over the head."
"Why me? You're much stronger. He'd be out longer."
"I think that violate some rule in my contract."
"Well, I don't want him to kick me off the third season."
"And then in college, I lasted about three minutes before I dropped out to guest-host a show," Chris continued, a proud smile on his face. "The producers said that ratings tripled because of my awesome hosting, and thus they wanted me to start hosting other shows..."
As the host ranted, Joel and Chef Hatchet exchanged glances. "Oh for the love of cave dwellers," the young inventor grumbled, "maybe we should club each other."
Cody, Bridgette, Izzy, and Ezekiel had gathered up in the guys' side of the Killer Bass cabin, sitting in a small group. They exchanged looks, wondering what to say in such a bizarre, dangerous situation.
"So," Izzy said, rocking back and forth on her knees, "when are you two guys going to start fighting?"
Cody and Ezekiel stared at her with baffled looks. "What do you mean?" the brunet tech-geek asked.
"Everyone knows in situations like this, the guys start to violently fight over who leads," Izzy pointed out. "It's part of your stupid testosterone, where you have to punch each other to prove who's more fit to lead."
"And they have to lead," Bridgette added, smiling and nodding. "Guys always have to be in charge. They might not have any clue-"
"They usually don't," Izzy added.
"Exactly. But because they're guys, they have to fight to prove their manly men."
Ezekiel and Cody exchanged looks, really confused now.
"It's just like with little boys," the redheaded gal continued. "You stick a bunch of boys in one room with a thousand toys, they will all want to play with one, and they will start punching each other over it."
"But Zeke and I aren't little boys," Cody protested.
"Awwww," Izzy cooed, ruffling Cody's brown hair, "that's so cute, that they think they're grown up."
"Rather adorable," Bridgette added, giggling.
(Confession Cam - Zingers!)
Ezekiel - \looking around, confused\ "Should I be insulted, eh?"
Cody - "The girls were just having some fun with us there, I'm pretty sure. At least I hope so. ... Look, I'm not Rambo or Captain Kirk, but... but... I am smart! And cute!"
Ezekiel and Cody continued to stare at each other as the girls laughed. The prairie boy balled up his fist, and very lightly punched Cody's shoulder.
"There, I'm the manliest man now, eh," he said.
"Ooo, if my robots weren't here," the tech-geek replied in mock rage, waggling his fists.
Izzy and Bridgette giggled some more, then the surfer girl became serious. "But speaking of leadership, what are we going to do?"
"Well, we don't even know the teams," Cody pointed out. "It could be boys verses girls."
"What if it is Killer Bass verses Screaming Gophers, eh?" Ezekiel asked.
"Knowing Chris, it'll probably be neither of those just to break tradition," Izzy mused. "He probably made the teams Ezekiel and I verses Bridgette and Cody."
"I'm actually more concerned with surviving than winning," Bridgette admitted. "I love the ocean, but I don't want to die in it."
"But a funeral at sea is best," Izzy declared. "I want that, because then my remains will be feasted on by sharks or by krill. I'd love to have a giant whale swallow my body, and then I'll be at one with the whale-"
"That's nice, Izzy," Cody interrupted her; he was starting to look a little green. "Look guys, why don't we just work together to survive this?"
The other three looked at him strangely, and he shrugged. "Look, we all like each other, and we all want to survive this. Why don't we just stick together?"
"Oh, Izzy approves of this," the redhead said, nodding eagerly. "We can have an orgy!"
Cody and Bridgette blanched, while Ezekiel looked confused. "An 'orgy'?" he asked, scratching his head.
"Yeah, we have the same amount of guys and girls, it's perfect," Izzy declared, rubbing her hands together vigorously. "I can have Cody first, Bridgette can have Zeke-"
"Izzy, please tell me you're not serious," the surfer girl cut in, her face starting to turn pink.
"I am! Then after the first round, you can have Cody, and I can have Zeke!"
Izzy leapt into Ezekiel's lap, grinning slyly up at him. "Or would you like to be with me first?"
"Um, maybe," Ezekiel said, looking nervous. "But what do you do at an 'orgy,' eh?"
"Anything you want, Zeke babe," she cooed. "Then next, you and Cody can provide some yaoi fan service! Woohoo!"
Cody made a choking sound. "Um, Izzy? I'm not into that-"
"Do it for the ladies, Cody! Girls love that stuff!"
"Well," Cody said, drumming his fingers together, "would you and Bridgette do yuri fan service?"
"Time permitting, sure."
"This is ridiculous," Bridgette suddenly declared, looking mad. "Izzy, we're not having an orgy!"
"But if we're lost at sea and this is how we'll spend the rest of our sad days before we are taken by Neptune or Poseidon-"
"We're not going to die," Bridgette shouted, standing up angrily. "Stop talking about it, none of us are going to die!"
The surfer girl rubbed her temples, and stormed off for the door. "I need some fresh air!"
She slammed the door behind her, leaving the other three in shock. Ezekiel soon picked Izzy off of him and set her down on the ground gently, then walked outside too.
Izzy looked at Cody, batting her eyes. "Well, we are supposed to go first."
Cody chuckled nervously, then merely said, "You are one wild girl, Izzy."
"Thank you."
Outside, Bridgette was leaning over the balcony, staring down into the ocean. She looked lost in thought, and didn't seem to notice when Ezekiel approached her.
"Bridgette?" he said, but she didn't reply. "Bridgette, are you okay?"
A few seconds of silence past between the two friends before she began to speak. "I'm scared, Ezekiel. I really am."
He put a hand on her shoulder. "We're going to be okay, Bridge-"
"How do you know that?" she snapped at him. "We're lost at sea, we're floating in cabins, we were left here by a man who cares more about how his hair looks on camera than our lives!
"I don't want to die out here because he thought it would be fun for the viewers," she cried, hammering the balcony. "I want to see my mother again! I want to see the man she's dating now! And Geoff, I might never see him again! All my friends, and the animals I see at the shelter too..."
She leaned over her side, shutting her eyes tight and trying desperately not to cry. "I can't even say good-bye to them, because Izzy took all the cameras out of the cabins! We all have families and friends and loved ones, whom we might never see again because Chris Maclean wanted to have a good laugh at our expense! Or more fittingly, at our deaths!"
The surfer girl panted emotionally, covering her eyes with one hand.
(Confession Cam - This cam could die too! Ayieeee!)
Ezekiel - "I really didn't knoo' what to say to her. I still think I'm no good at talking to girls, and I'm really woo'ried I might offend them like that first day in the first season, eh."
Intrepidly, Ezekiel put his hand on her back, and rubbed it soothingly. "Bridgette, you cannot give up hope. I doo'nt believe you're the type to give up, eh."
"It's never been this bad, Zeke!"
"I think I've been in woo'rse situations, eh."
"What could be worse than this?"
Ezekiel tapped his lips. "Um... stuck down a deep hole with a concussion and an angry Heather? Nearly chewed up and swallowed by a shark, eh? How a'boot when I had a torturer / murderer / jellybean smuggler standing over me with a power saw inches away from my leg?"
Bridgette took a deep breath, then managed to chuckle. "I... I guess those are worse. I lost it back there, didn't I?"
"You have the right to be scared, eh. I'm really scared too, I doo'nt mind admitting."
She turned around and hugged him. "Ezekiel, thank you so much."
"You're welcome, eh," he said, rubbing her back. After a few seconds of comfort, he said, "Um, Bridgette?"
"Yes?" she said as she parted from him.
"Befur I, uh, get involved in anything that I doo'nt knoo' a'boot... what's an orgy?"
Bridgette sighed, then leaned up to his ear and began whispering. As she continued, Ezekiel's eyes went wide, his mouth dropped, and he gasped.
(Confession Cam - Too much information, Zeke?)
Ezekiel - \with wide eyes\ "Oh my... do people actually do that, eh?"
Bridgette - \wiping a tear away\ "I hate it how I lost it back there... thank God for friends."
The four teenagers were seated in the cabin again, now that Bridgette calmed down. Ezekiel, however, was continuously glancing at Izzy.
"So what are we going to do to pass the time?" Bridgette asked. "Since, um, Izzy's first suggestion is kind of out of the question?"
"Awwwww," Izzy and Cody pouted.
"Well, what are we going to do fur food and water, eh?" Ezekiel asked.
"I have a couple Nalgene water bottles in my stuff," Bridgette said. "Both are full, I think."
"I've got some sodas and snacks with my stuff," Cody said.
"I... got nothing, eh," Ezekiel admitted.
Izzy patted his back. "Do not feel bad, my Zeke. I have some much better than that."
"What do you have, eh?"
"I've been stealing from Chris and Chef's stash of real food for weeks. I've got a whole lot of stuff, from marshmallows to watermelons to a turkey!"
"You smuggled a turkey?!"
"Yep," she said, nodding proudly. "I could make a great sneak-thief! I once managed to steal the globe from my grade school class! But then I felt bad and put it back."
Bridgette sighed, then smiled at Izzy. "Well Izzy, I don't eat meat, but I am glad you stole from Chris."
"Man, where is that turkey?" Chris asked, looking in the fridge. "We had a whole turkey, all ready for eating!"
"We had a real turkey?" Chef Hatchet asked. "Oh well, I'm sure it's somewhere. It's not like someone could steal it."
Joel shrugged, twirling a wrench around his finger. "Well, now that the turkey talk is over, we now have nothing to gobble about."
Chef Hatchet blinked, then sat down and took off his shoe and sock. "Well, I have this weird blight on my pinkie toe. It's been there for a couple days, and it's getting bigger. Plus, it's turning funny colors like lime green and royal purple."
"Oh no no no," Chris shouted, covering his ears and closing his eyes.
"By the horrors at the beach party," Joel wailed, "why, why?! I'd rather be stuck out there with the campers!"
The four campers burst out laughing, Cody looking embarrassed and delighted at the same time.
"And then," he continued, "after my mom caught me putting on a bra, and she didn't know it was dress-up for the biography report, she then noticed... that I was wearing high heels and lipstick as well."
Izzy fell down laughing, pounding the ground with her fist. Bridgette and Ezekiel were also laughing, clutching their sides. Cody scratched the back of his head, chuckling.
"Well, that's my goofy story," he said. "Who's next?"
Izzy reached up. "Oh oh! I got one! Seeing we're at sea, I've got a great story! You see, I was on this ferry once, and we almost capsized because the ship started tipping over."
"What caused that?" Bridgette asked.
"It was... C'thulhu!"
Izzy let out a gargling roar, wiggling her fingers. Bridgette raised an eyebrow, Cody smirked, and Ezekiel paled.
"I saw it's gaping maw, the waving tentacles, it's evil aura practically in the air... you can taste it," she hissed, her sinister grin wide. "Evil tastes like rotten chicken, like the chicken Chef serves."
"That does taste evil, eh," Ezekiel whimpered.
"He was huge, immense, destructive, and all-powerful," Izzy continued. "And it was this orangish-black color... ooo, like that!"
She pointed at the window, and the four saw a very large, octopus-like tentacle raise up from the ocean water. It raised high into the air, and came down, snatching a seagull that had a soda pop wrapper wrapped around it's neck.
"Ooo, C'thulhu claims another victim," Izzy crooned, clapping.
"That's just a really large octopus," Cody pointed out. "Wild."
"I had no idea they got that big," Bridgette observed. "That's quite incredible."
"Izzy loves the Great Old Ones," the redhead cheered. "What about you, Ezekiel?"
She looked back, and didn't see Ezekiel where he once was. Looking around the cabin, she finally spotted him in the corner, hunched up and shaking terribly.
"Zeke?" she said, walking over to him. "You don't have to punish yourself, get out of the corner."
"Are you all right, Ezekiel?" Cody asked.
"C... C... C...," he whimpered. The prairie boy looked sick with fear.
Bridgette was soon over by him, gripping his shoulder. "Ezekiel? What's the matter?"
"C'thulhu," he managed to choke out.
"It was just a really large octopus, dude," said Cody.
"Is Zeke afraid of octopi?" Izzy asked. "I like plain pie, I just don't know about sushi-"
"No, you don't understand, eh," the prairie boy cried out, gripping his toque. "I read H.P. Lovecraft when I really young, and the thought of C'thulhu..."
He bit his knuckles, his eyes wide with fright. "I couldn't sleep fur a month because I was scared to death C'thulhu would rise from the depths and destroy everything and everyone, eh!"
Izzy stared at the scared boy. "Oh my. C'thulhu as a phobia. I... don't think that has a name."
"Zeke dude, relax," Cody suggested. "It's just an octopus."
But Ezekiel was lost to them, paralyzed with horror. Bridgette continued to hold his shoulder, looking at her friends for help.
"Um... let's try talking about something that'll keep your mind off C'thulhu," Izzy suggested.
"What would that be?" Cody asked.
"Sex!"
Silence.
"Or pie!"
"I'll go for the former," Cody said, excitedly.
(Confession Cam - I actually like the latter.)
Cody - \shrugging as he looks at the camera\ "What? We're alone! It'd be nice to talk about it with people my age, since I don't really have friends at school... and I'd rather have one of my robots tear my ears off than discuss my desires with my parents.
"You know, there doesn't go by a day when I think about Gwen or Beth smiling, I mean really smiling... but now it's only for... Trent and Justin... boo hoo hoo, why?" \He breaks into tears, takes a deep breath, then shakes it off.\ "No! Mustn't cry! I will find a girl one day!
"Let's see... Eva and Sadie are still single... but if I want to ask out Sadie, I have to deal with Katie and, most of all, Noah... and if I want to ask out Eva, I'll probably need plate armor to survive if she feels otherwise..."
Ezekiel - \swallows hard\ "C'thulhu... my stomach is doing flip-flops at the thought... I could do with some pie, eh..."
"So...," Chef Hatchet said, twiddling his thumbs, "want some pie, Joel?"
"Sure, dude," the inventor said, taking a slice of cherry pie and helping himself. "Say, this is rather good!"
"Thank you."
"Store-bought?"
"Yes, actually... hey!"
Joel chuckled as he swallowed. "Well, as exciting as watching us eat pie may be, I doubt our viewing audience will enjoy watching it."
"I have a solution!"
Chris came out of his trailer. He was wearing tight pants, no shirt, a peace medallion, and a headband. "Chris Maclean is... Lord of the Dance!"
As the music started up and Chris started up the dance routine, Chef wailed in pain and smeared pie in his eyes to block the sight out.
"Screaming skulls above," Joel remarked, his eye twitching. "He's... he's... actually not that bad."
"So have you and Heather got to second base yet?" Izzy asked Ezekiel.
This managed to snap Ezekiel out of his horrorstricken shock, though he was still wide-eyed and gaping. "Wha... what?"
"Izzy," Bridgette groaned, shaking her head, "what is your fascination with finding out about the progress of other peoples' love lives?"
"It's fun," she replied. "I don't ask everyone about their love lives though, I've never asked Cody."
"Well, that could be possibly because of the simple fact that I don't have one," Cody said, smiling proudly. Then he blinked and frowned, "Wait, why am I acting proud about that?"
"None?" Izzy asked, rounding on the tech-geek. "What about Gwen? I found her bra in your cabin last season."
"That was just her helping me win a bet with Owen."
"What about Beth? I heard she kissed you."
"That was when I was in a body-cast and she accidentally knocked me off the Dock of Shame with that."
"Must have been some kiss. I heard you actually touched base with the head cheerleader during a snow day."
"No, I accidentally hit her in the face with a snowball. No one talked to me for some time over that."
"Why, she couldn't take it?" Izzy chuckled. "What a wimp. Cheerleaders are wimps."
"They are not," Bridgette replied.
"They are too! What's the point of cheerleaders?" Izzy began to sway her hips, then did a few inappropriate thrusts. "They just are there for guys to stare at and wish they could get to any base with, since the girls think that about the sports players!"
The surfer girl was frowning at Izzy, while Cody chuckled nervously.
"Lindsay is a cheerleader," Bridgette said.
"Who?" Izzy tapped her chin, then nodded. "Oh right, the blond girl with the big rack who cannot remember anyone's name?" the redhead recalled. She elbowed Cody and said, "You could hide a small dog in that, eh Cody?"
Bridgette covered her mouth with indignity, while Cody chuckled nervously more. "I... really didn't notice," he muttered.
"You 'didn't notice'?" Izzy cackled. "Oh, come on! If I had boobs like Lindsay, I would always have a place to hold my drink!"
The other three, even Bridgette, laughed despite themselves. Izzy plopped down on a bed, and sighed.
"You know what? I miss Owen," she said abruptly, staring down at the ground. "I miss how loving and friendly and positive he is."
Bridgette nodded at her friend, sighing as she thought of her own boyfriend. "I miss Geoff. I miss his enthusiasm, I miss his humor, I even miss how he says the wrong thing when he's struggling to say the right thing."
"I miss Heather, eh," Ezekiel said, crossing his arms. "I... knoo' you all doo'nt like her much, but I really think she's changing, and I really wish I could be with her, eh."
The other three nodded, the two girls sighing and looking up at the ceiling. Cody poked his fingers together, feeling left out.
"I miss...," he started to say, then groaned. "Oh, who am I kidding? I don't have anyone."
"You'll find someone one day, Cody," Bridgette said. "I mean, sixteen is still pretty young. My mother was twenty-five when she had her first boyfriend."
"My parents met in college, eh," Ezekiel said. "Dad was studying in engineering, but when he met my mom, he eventually changed his major so he could be a teacher too, eh."
"My father was eight when he had his first girlfriend," Izzy said, then frowned. "Oh... that doesn't help, does it?"
Cody nodded, then sighed. "I just... I never..."
"What's the matter, tech-boy?"
"I never thought I would be discussing my love life with three teammates I haven't had much chance to talk to until now, while we're drifting on the ocean in our cabins."
"Me neither," Izzy replied, "but I actually know Ezekiel pretty well. He slipped me the tongue."
"I did not, eh!"
Ezekiel held his hands up in defense, trying to ignore Bridgette and Cody's giggling.
"Oh come on, we're alone here," Izzy said, grinning at the prairie boy. "No pesky cameras recording our every word, no chance anyone will walk in or overhear us!"
"But I never stuck my tongue in your mouth, eh!"
This made Bridgette and Cody laugh more, and Ezekiel was starting to blush very red. Izzy grinned wickedly, running her tongue over her lips. "You sure? I think I remember you doing that, my Zeke."
"Oh, why must you torment me, eh?"
"Because it's fun!"
(Confession Cam - It is kind of fun.)
Ezekiel - "I only kissed her once because she saved my life, eh! ... And well, I accidentally groped her, but that was purely accidental. I wonder if she's mad at me over that, and she's trying to make me feel guilty over it, eh..." \He stares at the ground, looking sad.\
Izzy - \smiling happily\ "Ezekiel is so cute when he's nervous. Owen, hon, you know I love you, but if you ever push me in front of another serial killer, real or not, I'm going after Ezekiel! Rawr!"
Bridgette - "Poor Ezekiel doesn't get it when girls are teasing him. Still got a lot to learn about girls. Then again, he managed to charm Heather, what do I know?" \She smiles and shrugs her shoulders.\
The afternoon wore into evening, with Izzy joyfully tormenting Ezekiel. The conversation managed to change many times, but despite it being over school, future careers, plans with what to do with the ten thousand dollar prize, or their friends and family back home, Izzy managed to change it back to her kissing Ezekiel that one time.
"Is that a highlight of your life now, Izzy?" Cody teased.
"Oh maybe. I think the best highlight of my life would be, sorry Ezekiel, but it would be when I discovered the Loch Ness Monster!"
"I would think your best moment was when you kicked the crap out of that serial killer," Bridgette pointed out.
"That too."
Joel sighed as he watched Chris Maclean and Chef Hatchet doing the cancan. "Guys, this is fascinating, really," the young inventor grumbled. "However, I'm gonna go to the confessional cam."
"It washed away during the rain storm, dude," Chris said between kicks.
Joel rolled his eyes, then turned to the camera. "See, folks? This is what happens when you don't plan out your reality TV shows. You're stuck with something like this... which explains how America's Next Top Model got on the air."
He sighed and looked up at the night sky. "Wow. Night already," he said as he glanced over at the radar screen. The two blips were closer to the island, but still a distance. "This is actually... the vaguest challenge we've ever done."
The young inventor looked at the camera again. "I mean, what are the teams? How do they win this contest?
"Who will be the next camper to go: Bridgette, Izzy, Cody, or Ezekiel? How will that be decided?
"And much more of watching Chris and Chef do the cancan will we have to take until we throw up all over the place!?"
The host and cook stopped doing the cancan, curtsied, and started doing ballet.
"Oh-ho-ho-noooooo," Joel howled, "it's gonna be really soon. For the love of Zap Rowsdower, cut to something else. Anything!"
A lone raccoon in forest sat on a rock, picking its nose. It suddenly noticed the camera and squeaked in horror.
Part 2 will drift towards you all eventually. Because if two cabins and an outhouse can, a continuing chapter will too.
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Too weird for you all? Not enough action? There will be next chapter!
Oh, I've written another one-shot, in case some of you didn't notice. I sure do enjoy shameless advertising. \glee\