Now this is just depressing…..twice in one day, I've had crack ideas from watching Death Note. I blame them for my insanity! Well, you can probably tell where this came from too….pretty much the same place as the first one did. Add one cup sugar, one cup Kimiko, one cup Death Note, one cup corner of desk colliding with head, stir, then shake, then puree.
Without further ado, more crack on a stick from yours idiotically!
When Raito took his daily shower, he felt free. Everyday, this shower was taken at exactly seven P.M., when the house was completely empty except for him. He would drag his CD player into the sacred second story bathroom, undress, fold the dirty clothing (cuz we all know he's got some alien form of OCD), turn the shower on, turn the holy CD player on, and step into the shower.
Unknown to Raito, Sayu had come straight home after school that day to study for the math test she was to have the next day. Naturally, she was a bit surprised when she suddenly heard music blaring from down the hall at seven P.M. Sayu Yagami was very well known for her pranks and her vouyeristic exploits, so, curiously, she tip-toed down the hall and put her ear against the bathroom door.
"Cuz baby doncha know that there ain't no mountain hiiiiigh enough! Ain't no valley looooow enough! Ain't no riiiver wiiiiide enough….To keep me from getting' to youuuu baaabe!"
A grin settled itself across Sayu's features before she covered her nose and mouth with her hand to keep the laughter from bubbling through her lips in the form of full-blown noisy guffaws that would alert Raito to her presence.
By the time Sayu had stumbled back into her room, tears were racing freely down her cheeks and her face was a strange shade of strangled blue. She had an idea. A large, collosial, evil, sneaky, devilishly hysterical idea! She had to do it NOW. In a frenzied rush of adrenaline, she searched for the item with which she could potentially destroy Raito.
Sayu grinned like the Cheshire Cat as she opened the bathroom door about two inches, placed the miniature cam-corder right by the door and adjusted it accordingly. Perfect. His next song, however, made it even better.
"I wanna be like other giiiiirls! I wanna see what other girls seee! Just to be free like other giiiiiirrrrlllsss…..GET TO BE! NA NA NA! NA NA NA, NA NA NA! Wooooaaaah-OOOH!" Sayu covered her face with the pillow she'd brought along with her and burst into laughter. Not only could Raito not sing, but he couldn't use a falsetto to save his life! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Yagami (I'm a gay) Raito was using a falsetto and failing miserably. And now, in Sayu's mind, he was every color of the rainbow plus Barbie pink.
Ten minutes later, two things happened simultaneously. Raito sang what (to him) sounded like a perfect high A that really sounded like a dieing cat choking on a foreign tone-deaf swallow, and Sayu began gathering the random items she'd brought along with her on her journey into the underworld.
About thirty seconds after that, Raito turned off the shower and Sayu snatched the camera and snuck back to her room to play around with the internet, her lord and savior.
Raito felt great after that shower! It was especially invigorating. He'd finally hit the perfect high A! he was that much closer to becoming a superstar. It was his first dream after all; it even came before his quest to rule the world and name it after himself. Like how Pinky (from Pinky and the Brain) dreamt of cheese and helping Brain dominate the world. Raito practically skipped to his room in jubilee.
The next day, when Raito arrived at the task force headquarters, Matsuda was ranting and raving about some video he'd seen on YouTube. He was saying it was the most hilarious thing he'd ever seen in his life, and was begging L to let him play it when everyone arrived. L only agreed to shut him up.
When everyone arrived, Matsuda forced them to sit around the largest computer screen in a semicircle like children in a daycare at storytime. He then proceded to open the web browser and locate the video.
Twenty seconds later, everyone in the room except for Raito (mortified into silence), was in hysterics, tears, guffaws, the whole she-bang. The reason? Before them was Light's silhouette holding an imaginary microphone to his mouth and singing his heart out to the shower head. It certainly didn't help that his name, his full fucking name, was in the info. box.
"Raito-kun…..do not think for one moment that this footage will make me believe you are not Kira."