Title: The Forgotten -- Memories and Love

Chapter 6: Why is it me?

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyou Kara Maou

Written by: Lisse08

Beta-reader: Hottee39

Xx Wolfram xX

Four years ago

Tears had ceased to dry from his fair cheeks. Wolfram wiped off the tears that were still dripping and looked up. He had calm down a little but the pain in his heart had not worn off. His rationality still remained however. Now, he was even more aware of who he was. He was no longer Yuuri's fiancé. He should not be staying in the king's room.

'Is Yuuri still outside?' Wolfram thought as he pushed the door open, the pain twitched at his heart again at the thought of Yuuri.

He closed the door gently behind him and froze.

"Send me back now."

'What is that?' Wolfram felt as if he was dosed in ice.

"Sayonara, Wolfram."

'NO. What is this? Isn't this voice…Yuuri's?' Wolfram shook his head, trying to clear his mind. 'Where are these voices coming from anyway?' He felt his eyes open wide, terror swept through him. Another voice that he had heard the day before rang.

"Remember, the next time you close your eyes, you will return back to your time. Make your decision wisely."

He tried his best not to break down as he tried to figure out what was happening. A voice, who he assumed to be Shinou had granted him his wish. 'When he said "the next time", doesn't that mean just now? I had closed my eyes for so long in there.' He closed his eyes again. Counting in his heart from one to ten, at the same time, hoping that by doing this, his heart beat will return to normal.

He snapped his eyes open. 'Nothing changed.' He felt the heart beat increased again. 'If that voice truly belonged to Yuuri… is he gone? Am I…?' He tried not to let his thoughts continue but the words keep on drifting through his mind.

'That's IMPOSSIBLE!'

He shook his head.

Xxxxx Wolf xxxxX

He felt himself running down the hall. His footsteps echoing down the corridor, it was eerily silent. And in a few minutes, he had reached it, the place where he was supposed to be at that night. He turned the knobs and pushed the doors apart. He had entered the dinning chamber, where everyone was seated in their seats. His eyes darted through all of them. Gwendal, Conrad, Gunter, Cheri, Yuuri.

Wolfram felt his heart gave a jolt when his eyes fell on Yuuri's face.

­

"Wolfram," Conrad stood up.

"Wolfie, I was so worried. I thought I will pay you a visit after the dinner. Why aren't you resting in your bed?" Cheri said as she walked over to her son.

"Mother, I…" Wolfram was at a complete loss for words. His eyes were still on Yuuri. He was waiting for any signs of recognition, or even perhaps, hoping that Yuuri would turn his gaze away from him. But all he got was a firm stare back from the raven. And Yuuri's eyes… his eyes were looking at him as if he just saw Wolfram for the first time in his life.

They were not friendly.

"Wolfie, can you hear your mother?"

They were not familiar.

"Wolfram!"

They were no warmth.

"Lord Wolfram!"

They were not Yuuri.

"Go get Gisela!"

'This is not the Yuuri that I know…' Horror engulfed Wolfram's world as reality began to intrude. 'Yuuri, are you gone? Am I… left behind?' The throbbing at the back of his head intensified. He lost all his senses the next minute.

Xxxxx Wolf xxxxX

Wolfram groaned as he rubbed his head. He laid awake in his bed. Gisela was treating him with her cure magic.

"Wolfie, are you feeling any better?" He nodded at his mother who nearly burst out crying at his reply. He let his mother hugged him as he tried to pat her back.

"Sorry to worry you, mother."

"You should be resting in your bed if your headache didn't get any better." Gwendal said.

'Oh yeah, I forgot, they thought that I was having headache. But I AM having headache.' He turned and saw the king, standing behind his brothers. He let his eyes examined the king's expressions for awhile. Yuuri shifted uncomfortably.

"Wolfram… right?" He asked tentatively. Wrong! You shouldn't be asking for my name. You should have known who I am.

"Yes." Wolfram felt himself saying.

"I'm sorry about that. I hope you're feeling alright." That's not what you should be sorry about!

"No," Wolfram paused; it was so difficult to get this next word out from his mouth. "heika, I'm the one who should be sorry. I spoiled your dinner."

"It's okay. Your health is more important. If you're sick, you should really go to see a doctor."

"Heika, we refer to them as healers," corrected Conrad.

"Oh, ok. I mean healer." Yuuri smiled goofily and turned to Wolfram. "Right?"

Wolfram humped and turned his face away.

'It is Yuuri, but at the same time, it is not Yuuri…' Wolfram thought bitterly. 'He's no longer Yuuri Shibuya, my ex-fiancé.'

Xxxxx Wolf xxxxX

Everyone had returned to their own chamber. Wolfram stirred from his bed and got up. He was disregarding the advices that told him to stay in his bed. 'As if I have the mood to sleep,' Wolfram thought. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes.

"Shinou, please reply me." Wolfram whispered. "I desperately need you."

Silence…

"Come out now, answer me!" Panicked swept over him but he did realize the impudent tone that he was using, he added. "Please."

Still, there was nothing but silence…

Wolfram stormed over to his wardrobe and took out his uniform. He donned on the white blouse and hastily buttoned up his blue military suit. His hands was trembling terribly that he was having a hard time fumbling with the buttons. After he was done, he grabbed his sword and fastened it beside him.

'Like it or not, Shinou, I want a word with you.'

Xxxxx Wolf xxxxX

"Lord Wolfram! Please don't give us a hard time."

"Let me through!"

"Ulrike did not wish to be disturbed, besides, it's inappropriate for you to bang into the temple at this late of the time." The two female guardians were blocking the entrance to the temple. They were holding out their weapons, stopping Wolfram the moment they saw him. This did not please Wolfram at all.

"I want a word with Shinou, I believe he has the answer that I want to know."

"I'm sorry, Lord Wolfram. We can't let you through."

"Let me through this instance! Or else I will have to get through this by force!" Nerves were getting at him. Wolfram could feel his veins pulsing. He unsheathed his sword and pointed it at them. They seemed to back off a little but still did not lower their weapons.

"If you insisted, I'm afraid we will have to stop you by force." One of them said, and sure enough, he heard more footsteps running over. He turned his back a little and saw that two more guardians had came, stopping him from behind. Wolfram frowned. He did not like the idea of making a commotion of this, nor did he like the idea of being found by his family and the king that he had sneaked into the temple and intending to break through it without permission. But it seemed that the situation had leaved him no choice.

He raised his hands high up in the sky. He could feel the fire within stirring impatiently, waiting for his commands.

"I'm warning you, if you don't want to get hurt. Get out of my way now." Wolfram said. He could even feel his eyes burning. He could see that his opponents weren't making any move to surrender. They were all staring at him with determination to protect the temple. That pissed him off even more.

"To all the spirits who are affiliated…" Wolfram had begun his incantation of summoning the fire element.

"Lord Wolfram! Please stop it!!" The door was opened to reveal the younger maiden. She appeared to be a 12 years old girl, but in truth, she was aged more than 800 years old. Wolfram felt his words trailed off as she stepped over the threshold. He looked at her. Fire that was half-summoned is dancing around at the tip of his hand. He couldn't dismiss them yet. No, the anger in his heart was too strong. It was too hard to erase these fire and anger at that time.

"You're finally out, Ulrike. I want to speak to Shinou. I have questions for him." Wolfram hissed.

"Lord Wolfram… Please calm yourself down."

"I'm calm enough." Wolfram said as he forcefully called the fire off.

"Please tell me your questions. I will direct them to him." Ulrike said as she put her hands together in prayer.

Wolfram hesitated. He looked sideway at the guardians. As if understanding the look, Ulrike ordered them to leave. After he was sure that they were out of ear shot, Wolfram said, feeling him voice steadier than before.

"I want to know, why did he not sent me back after granting my selfish wish."

Ulrike closed her lavender eyes. Wolfram waited patiently, even though inside he felt like screaming. After awhile, she responded.

"Shinou said that he did not understand what you're talking about… I'm sorry, Lord Wolfram."

"What? What the heck is he talking about!? He's the one who transfer me back here and now he's pushing all the responsibilities away? Why did he send only Yuuri back? What about me? Are you telling me to stay back?" Wolfram felt his voice rise higher and higher. His knuckles turned white as he clutched his hands into fists. The fire was coming back.

Ulrike continued to close her eyes.

"He said you are finding the wrong person. He did nothing."

"Stop it! Stop it! Don't lie to me! This is not where I'm supposed to be. I want to go back!!" Wolfram yelped. The voice was so high that it alerted the guardians, in a minute, they were back. Ulrike reopened her eyes, fear was shown clearly in there.

"I'm sorry, Your Excellency," said Ulrike. Despite the anger that was burning his heart, Wolfram suddenly felt the fire distinguished. Tears were welling up in his eyes.

"If there's one thing that I regret, it would be the slap!"

Why? Why are you all doing this to me?

"What is your decision?"

As if Yuuri alone wasn't enough, and now, even Shinou decided to abandon me?

"Wolfram… I'm sorry. If this is really the past, I will not slap you again."

Why do you want to see me suffer like this? Why is it not enough for me to be heartbroken?

"What did you say again?"

Why do you want to hurt me like this? Is it a joy for you to see me in this state?

"I'm not going to propose to you"

How could you do this to me? How could you say that?

"Why don't you dare to look at me?"

Why wouldn't you look back at me?

And now I'm alone again, all alone in this wide world, where no one knows about the royal couple. I feared the darkness in my heart. I feared this loneliness. What am I supposed to do? I want to go back. Can't you grant my wish again?

'If I had never insulted his mother before, if that's the case, then…'

I should never have made that wish…

"Heika, take it back. Please take it back right now."

"As if I would! He said something he shouldn't have. I don't care how much you bad-mouth me. But who the hell do you think you're, insulting someone else's mother! I will never take it back!"

"You'll never retract it?"

"Yes, NEVER!"

"That's wonderful! The proposal is official."

"What??"

All of these... never existed here.

"A wimp is a wimp."

"Don't call me a wimp."

Tell me, how am I able to go through all these years again? With Yuuri not knowing about me? Not knowing about our past, not knowing about my love, our engagement and our memories.

"Wolfram…right?"

How am I able to survive all these pain again?

Yuuri, where are you now? When will I be able to meet you again?'

'If only… there's water to put out my fire… If only… there's a sun to light up the darkness in my heart now…'

'I don't want to cry, I don't want to feel sad ever again. But why is it tearing my heart apart?

"He's gone… he's gone, Wolfram…"

Why is it killing me?

He really walked out on him. He really…

Why is it so difficult to breath?

"Yuuri… Don't leave me here…please don't leave me alone…"

Please, save me from this pain…'

"Sayonara, Wolfram…"

'Why is it me? Why…?'

Xxxxx Wolf xxxxX

A/N

Thanks to my beta, hottee39, and all my reviewers...

To those reviewers who always leave their reviews after reading, I'm really glad about it. I can see your names in every chapter. wow. I know who they are. Thanks again. I really appreciate them.

Ok.. next chapter.

No summary available. You might be able to guess it by looking at the title.

Chapter 7.. back to Yuuri's story-- "The diary"