Title: The Forgotten -- Memories and Love

Chapter 12: Unexplainable feelings

Written by: Lisse08

Xx Wolfram xX

Two years ago

Putting down his quilt on the table, Wolfram stretched and failed to suppress a yawn. He closed his diary and looked out the window, studying the cold September night in Shin Makoku. The night in his country never changed, the moon was shining brightly into the room, making Wolfram felt warmer in his heart. He sank down into his chair lazily. He closed his eyes and let his mind wandered off aimlessly.

He was sleeping soundly on the bed when he felt a sudden chillness as the blanket that was covering him was lifted with a great force. He winced and opened his eyes slightly, before the bright light could seep through the slit of his eyes, he heard the voice of his loved.

"Wolfram!"

"You're late, Yuuri. I'm sleepy, Hurry up and get in." Wolfram said in a toneless voice.

"Why are you in my bed again? Wolfram!!" Yuuri clenched his fists, shouting.

"I had your interests at heart, since you're a "scaredy cat"." Wolfram sat up.

"NO! I can sleep alone!"

"Don't worry about it. We're engaged." Wolfram grinned innocently which frustrated Yuuri more.

"That doesn't mean you had to act like we're already married!"

"The whole country knows that you're my fiancé."

"What?" Yuuri had tumbled onto the ground hopelessly. "What's going on? We're both boys…"

"You're a wimp, but I'm by your side, so you can feel safe."

"How can I?!" Wolfram enjoyed himself as he watched Yuuri jumped up and down on his spot.

Smiling at the old memory, he dozed off.

Wolfram woke up and noticed that he had fallen asleep on the table. His whole body arched. He was quite amazed that he could actually fall asleep in such an uncomfortable position. After preparing himself for the morning, he made his way to the dining room. He felt his foot automatically brought him to a halt when he heard Yuuri's voice from outside.

"I'm going!" Yuuri shouted.

"But heika…," wailed Gunter.



"You can't change my mind. I will not let my people suffer. If there's anything that I can do, I will do it. I'm not going to sit here and watch them die." Yuuri said in determination. Wolfram squinted and tried to get the idea of what they were discussing but failed. He threw opened the door and walked into the room. He was suddenly aware that everyone was looking at him, but he did not care. He was used to it.

"I'm going too." Wolfram exclaimed. Even if it's not as his fiancé, as his subject, he'll still go anywhere Yuuri went.

"No, Wolfram. You'll be staying. I'll be the one going with heika this time." It was Gwendal. Apparently, Wolfram was not the only who was taken aback when he heard Yuuri exclaimed in surprise.

"Gwendal?"

"But who's going to look after the castle?" Gunter complained.

"That's why Wolfram will stay," he turned to Wolfram. "You will look after the castle with Gunter." Gwendal gave his brother a stern look.

"But brother, I want to go too!"

"NO, this is not some place where you can mess around with."

"BUT!"

"NO 'but'." Gwendal said. Wolfram shut up, he knew when his brother meant business, when he said no in a tone like that, he meant no. Wolfram angrily stormed out the room throwing something that sounded like "fine."

"Gwendal, you need not to be so harsh on him." Conrad, who had remained silence all the time said.

"Yeah, Gwendal. I think I know how Wolfram felt." Yuuri said.

"His skills are not enough. He will merely be a burden to us if he comes along. One burden is enough for us to handle." And that shut Yuuri up. He knew that the burden was addressed to him.

Wolfram heard everything outside. He felt as if his heart was stabbed when he heard the words. He continued to storm along the corridor back to his room, making sure that he slammed the door hard after entering the room. He knew that his brother wanted to protect him from the danger. His brother couldn't protest the king as it was the king's wish to go with them.

He threw himself down on the bed. Even though it was for his own sake, Wolfram did not take it for granted. He did not like the idea of being protected by his brothers. He could take care of himself. Brother still did not trust him. He felt his heart sinking again. 'If I was Yuuri's fiancé, I could have easily used that as an excuse and go with Yuuri. No… it's not an excuse, it's the truth, and I wanted to protect Yuuri too.' Without warning, a scene came back to him.

"I swear to protect you no matter what, so, anything that might take your life, I will have to destroy them."



"You don't understand, Wolfram."

"Why don't you understand my love?" Wolfram had pointed the sword at his fiancé.

"Love is not just giving, Wolfram. It's about sharing them with others. These things need us. You can't just go and destroy them." Wolfram had enough.

"How dare you? You're such a cheater! You are sharing the love with others? You aren't satisfied when you have me?"

"That's not what I mean, I just want…" Yuuri tried to defend himself.

The scene was cut off as suddenly as it appeared. As Yuuri's voices became mute, the scene was gone too after a few seconds. It broke into pieces insides Wolfram head.

'What is happening?' Wolfram murmured and sat up straight on his bed. He failed to make any further thinking. His heart was frozen, numbing sensation swoop through him, followed by pain that pierce through his heart. He lost all consciousness as he felt himself falling behind, dropping onto the same spot where he was laying few moments ago.

Xxxx Wolf xxxX

Wolfram had woken up in his room. He blinked for a second and remembered the reason why he was still in his bed when the sun was high up in the sky. He tried to search and retain all the memory that he knew something was wrong, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not remember what was it. He stopped thinking all of a sudden, frozen, engulfed in a mist of terror. He closed his eyes and tried to remember again. This time, harder, only to receive another heart piercing pain in his head. He nearly screamed. His shock had prevented him from doing so. His rationalizing skills were back in a moment. An idea occurred to him, there was only one reason why this would happen. He had expected it. It was only natural.

'Memories that don't belong to here are saying goodbye to me.' Wolfram felt the tears that had not made their appearance for so long fighting to reappear again. He was still trying to control them when he heard a knock on his door. Surprised, he got out of his bed.

"Who's it?" He shouted.

"It's me, Yuuri." Wolfram felt his heart beating as he stole a glance at the canvas hanging on the wall. 'There's no way I'm letting him in,' Wolfram thought. All the pain seemed to leave him instantly. He would need to take care of the present first.

"Could you please hang on for a moment? I'll come out in a minute." Wolfram replied and he hurriedly wiped off the trace of the tears on his face.

"Sure." Just after Yuuri had replied, Wolfram had swung the door open and stepped outside.

"You're fast…" Yuuri mused.

"Of course, that's what a soldier must know, or else, they will get killed by the enemy before they could even raise the sword." Wolfram rolled his eyes.



"So, what's it that you want?" asked Wolfram.

"It's nothing… I was just checking on you, since Gwendal say those awful words."

"Oh… That. I'm used to his words, so don't worry about it."

"I thought I would just check." Yuuri scratched his head. Wolfram narrowed his brows together at him and smirked.

"What is it, heika? You're worrying about me?" Even if at the moment, he knew he was upset about his memories but at the same time still couldn't help teasing him.

"It's not what you think! Of course I'm worrying about you." While enjoying Yuuri's face turning to shock, he laughed. It was fun teasing the wimp… that he loved. His stomach tied into a knot and the smile faded from his face.

Yuuri noticed the sudden cease of laughter. He stopped his shouting too and looked at the soldier. Surprisingly, Yuuri noted that the face was somewhat depressing.

"Wolfram, are you not feeling well?"

Wolfram was snapped out of his thoughts. Looking up, he locked his eyes with the double black.

"I'm fine." Wolfram tried not to let the word 'wimp' get out of his mouth at this point. He merely looked away.

Yuuri studied his facial expressions again. He did not want this. Hands outstretched, he caught the blonde's wrist. Startled by the sudden move, Wolfram jumped.

"What is IT?"

Ignoring the question, Yuuri dragged Wolfram away from his bedroom's door and on he walked.

"Heika! Where are you taking me?"

"My name's Yuuri!" Yuuri shouted back.

"Stop pulling me! Where are you going?"

"I'm bringing you to see Gwendal."

"Brother? What for?!"

"You're not a burden. I'm confident enough to say that you're strong. I want you to go with me, and I'm sure he won't complain about His Majesty's request."

"Yuuri…"

"Yes, that's my name." Yuuri smiled.

Xxxx Wolf xxxX



"You really did piss off Gwendal this time." Wolfram laughed as he and the king walked back to his chamber.

"Haha. That's expected." Yuuri grinned. They halted in front of the door again.

"But I don't regret it."

Wolfram turned back at those words. He smiled. 'This wimp…'

"Thank you, heika, for trusting me."

Yuuri let out a heavy sigh. No matter how many times he reminded Wolfram about it, he would never ever willingly called him by his name in normal conversation. Even for Conrad, after these years, the using of the formal address towards him had decreased. Wolfram however, never changed.

He shook his head helplessly as he watched the prince's back walking away.

"Heika, Lord Wolfram, watch out!" Yuuri turned towards the commotions. It was the maid, apparently. He couldn't tell whether if she was Sangria, or whoever it was because the moment he turned, what came into his eyes was a ball, coming right into their direction at an awfully fast speed. His eyes rounded with horror, realizing that the ball was not going to hit him but rather at the prince who was still completely unaware of oncoming danger. Without considering twice of what he was doing, he flung himself forward and toward Wolfram.

Wolfram thought he heard someone. He turned sideways. His stomach seemed to make a double flip at something flying into his face. His heart was suddenly beating so fast that it was going to burst. He couldn't evade it. Just as he thought so, he felt himself being pushed away from the danger. He hit the ground, face down. A heavy weight was on top of him. He blinked twice before it registered to him what happened. The ball had flown through the place where his head was few seconds ago and bumped against the wall, the sound of it bouncing on the floor was making a thumping echo in his ears.

Yuuri pushed himself down and landed hard. He reacted again, using his forearms as cushion so as not to crush with the blonde directly. A pain shot through. He gritted his teeth and groaned. Wolfram turned underneath him. Not wanting to worry him more, he hastily arranged his profile into a teasing mode.

A groan was heard. Surprised, Wolfram sat up and turned, wanting to see his savior, and found himself looking straight into the deep black onyx. Flushed, Wolfram averted his head away as his king studied him.

"Gee, what's that with a soldier's reflexives?" Yuuri teased at the prince.

"G-Got distracted. Are you alright?" Embarrassed, Wolfram asked.

"Yeah, somehow survive." Yuuri pulled himself up immediately and hid his forearms behind his back. "How about you? Are you hurt?"



"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, heika." The maid ran forward to them. With a laugh, Yuuri recognized her as Doria and told her not to worry about it. She was excused.

"What's with you, huh? What were you thinking about? Spacing out like that," Yuuri asked again.

"I apologize too…" Wolfram muttered and got up from the mess as well.

"It's okay." Yuuri shook his hands off as acknowledgement, but wincing slightly at the pain, he withdrew it back beside him. It was lucky that the blond wasn't looking at him. His face was full of nothing but guilt.

"C'mon, Wolfram. Don't act like that. I'm fine, so, you needn't worry about it."

Wolfram raised his head to meet his king's eyes again. He smiled back gratefully.

"Thank you again, heika." Yuuri laughed.

"I'm always wondering, why are you so insisting on calling me 'heika' instead of 'Yuuri'?"

Wolfram looked at the black raven for a few minutes. He shook his head and a smile plastered on his face. It was a smile that twitched Yuuri's stomach. It's the same sad smile again.

"You'll know why one day." Wolfram stood up at the same time with Yuuri. He gave his bow before turning his back at the king and walked into his chamber. Yuuri stretched out his hand.

At the mere thought, Yuuri had forcefully stopped himself from further moving. His hand froze at its place.

'What's wrong with me? Why did I have the sudden urge to hug him?'

He winced as the door swung shut in front of him.

'It must be because Wolfram is my best friend, right?'

'Damn…' He shook his head, hard and turned from the door.

'What kind of person would want to hug his best friend? I never felt like this before for my other best friends.'

He rose up his arms to examine the wounds. The bruises were clearly visible. On his right arm, where he had exerted most of the force when pushing forward, a cut was seen. He had brushed it against the ground with great force. Flesh blood was trailing down along it. He flinched.

'What kind of person would want to protect his best friend to this extent? And not bothering to let him know about these injuries?'

He worked on his healing majutsu over the cuts and sank into his thoughts.

'What on earth is wrong with me?!'

Xxxx Wolf xxxX



Night fell again.

Wolfram took his quilt and docked it into the bottle of ink. Gently he wrote on his diary.

For the first time when I'm here, I felt extremely lonely tonight. For the first time when I'm here, I felt myself all alone in this world. When I tried to recall them, I had even forgotten what I wanted to remember. I forgot what I had forgotten few moments ago, as if they never existed in my mind. I only know that one memory had disappeared in my awareness. No matter what I did, it is useless. The only thing that held my connection with Yuuri was fading. The only thing, the only proof that we're fiancé was vanishing. I'm sure that this is not the end yet. The rest are going to disappear too. The problem is… how long will it take for them all to disappear.

Wolfram stopped and sighed. He could not do anything about those memories, yet he was afraid. He turned the page and wrote again.

I don't want to forget the memories. We were once together, Yuuri. Even if you don't remember them, I remember. I can still remember nearly every single journey we shared. I must record them. I don't want them to be forgotten. As days go by, my old memories seemed to be disappearing very fast. Is it a side effect? It might be. After all, those memories don't exist here. They don't belong to here. I'm afraid one day, when I awoke, I will no longer remember anything of our pass. I don't want that, which is why, I decided, to write down every single memories that I remember here before they disappeared completely from my mind. Even if this day really did come, I won't be afraid. At least, you, my diary, will remember them, and you will bear witness to these memories.

The blonde stared at the lines where his quilts were lifted. For a long time, he gazed at it blankly, his mind were unable to formulate any thoughts because of a single question that circulated in there. Feeling his quilts trembling under his hands as a second question flashed through, he dropped it down quickly beside the book as if it was on fire. His gaze remained where it was. Seconds ticked by, until his brain would finally react. As the third question formed itself in his senseless dimension, it proved that it served only to break him down totally once again.

"Yuuri, where are you now…?"

"Do you still… remember them…?"

"Have you forgotten about me?"

Xxxx Wolf xxxX

A/N

Chapter 13, Unbearable.

Back to Yuuri's story, it was unbearable for Yuuri… when he saw something that broke his heart apart.