Title: The Forgotten – Memories and Love

Chapter 13: Unbearable

Disclaimer: I do not own KKM

Written by: Lisse08

Status: Sorry for the late update. (Look at the last update,) Wow… two months… My reason is my hell exam. It IS a real HELL! Haha… Anyway, glad that it's over… Here's another chapter. Hope I can update this story faster in future. And sorry for the mistakes.

Xx Yuuri xX

I feel

The pain that I gave you,

I receive

The love that you gave me,

I regret

The sufferings that I inflicted on you

Now…

Xxxx Yuuri xxxX

The shrieking that shook his soul from Greta, the barely inaudible gasp from Gunter, the pale-looking Cheri, and an anxious-looking Conrad who had rushed towards him in no time, he saw and heard all these but Wolfram's reaction was what he concerned most. White spots were flashing in his view and more were forming from the sides. He felt numb and his eyelids were drooling down too. Before he could look over at the blonde-haired boy, darkness took over and he lost track of everything that happened around him.

Xxxx Yuuri xxxX

His name was being called repeatedly. He heard them, distantly. Slowly, he let his eyes open. Light-headed, he blinked several more seconds before it registered to him that he was carried back to his own chamber for second time of the day. He sat bolt up straight, his heart leapt.

"Yuuri!" Greta's voice was the first he heard.

"Heika, how are you feeling?" the lilac-haired consoler inquired. Rubbing his head, he turned and locked his gaze with the couple. Couldn't bear the look in their eyes, he broke the eye contact.

"Sorry for ruining the dinner." Yuuri muttered in apologies.

"Your majesty's health is our top priority." Wolfram said.

The emerald gleams were finally directed towards him, looking straight into his. Something akin to relief or glad, he couldn't differentiate, erupted inside. He smiled, but Wolfram looked away immediately.

"Heika," Conrad voiced this time.

"Ah, I'm okay. Really," He looked around, realizing that everyone was still having that bloodless expression. "A little exhausted, I guessed." He joked. 'Yeah, exhausted and fainted two times in a day. What is happening?'

He gropes onto the lost piece. He knew it wouldn't do him any good by doing so, but the idea of not trying sounded foolish to him. He received the consequence. A bone-deep pain shot through. He yelped and clung onto his head.

"Heika!" Seeing those apprehensive look others were reflecting, he thought that it was an unwise action to get them worried about him. Yuuri hurriedly removed his hands.

"Sorry, I'm fine. I need some sleep." Yuuri said while giving them what he assumed was a reassuring smile. They all exchanged glances with each other, trying to decide which choice was the best one for them. After another minute of silence, they made up the mind, they bowed and lumbered from the room altogether.

Wolfram, apparently, did not follow what others were thinking. Hence he found himself alone facing Yuuri when everyone moved out. Stunned a little at first, he hastily scurried off. His feet came to a halt when he heard him.

"Wolfram…" Yuuri called out softly. He wished Wolfram would stay, but it was impossible, not with his fiancé waiting outside for him. Wolfram seemed to teeter on the edge of speech, but he did not turn at all.

'Please don't turn your back at me, Wolfram…'

After a split second, with Yuuri watching him and Wolfram staring at the door, the strained silence was broken.

"Take care." To his upmost disappointment, Wolfram chose to leave the room before Yuuri could react.

"Wolf!" The bed shifted violently as he reached out, wanting to call him back. All efforts were futile. The room was engulfed with eerie silence that made Yuuri shivered. He did know that Wolfram would not stay for him, he had prepared for it. But somewhere deep in his heart, he had that one percent wish that Wolfram would do something besides himself. Now, as Wolfram's voice remained in the room as his last gift, it only showed that he should never even think about that one percent chance.

"Take care." It was a simple comfort that Wolfram had left for him. For some stupid reason, Yuuri felt that he was supposed to be touched about it but the way how Wolfram had expressed it made him sounded the other way round. It was as if Wolfram was asking him to take care of himself… not only for now, but also for the rest of his life. Half of his soul was now gone from his body. Wolfram had also never bothered to look back at him. Wolfram was no longer going to stay for him just because of his pleads.

He closed his eyes, with his hands covering both of his ears to cut off the sound, he fell back onto the pillow with a soft thud. It was a long time since he had had a normal conversation with Wolfram. He missed it. He missed everything.

Midnight was approaching. He turned from one side to another, trying to find a comfortable position for sleep to come. He was left with two choices, the solid wall and the vacant pillow. No matter which side he chose, he couldn't stop feeling distressed and alone. Annoyed, he turned for the last time and chose the pillow side. He let his eyelids fluttered close and felt the familiar but subtle flowery scene entered his senses. It was as if Wolfram was there with him. His hand outstretched, wanting to hug the imaginary person. As his arm dropped down straight onto the puffy pillow, he felt something warm damped his cheek.

There was nothing but empty air.

Xxxx Wolf xxxX

Wolfram trailed behind Tesca, walking back to his chamber. He was quiet the whole time. Tesca came to a stop in front of his room.

"You wouldn't need to worry about him,"

"Huh?"

"Yuuri heika. He's going to be fine," He said and cocked his neck over to face Wolfram. A deep shade of pink lighted the blonde's pale face.

"Did I say that I'm worrying about him? I don't care about him." Wolfram huffed.

He turned the doorknob for Tesca and stepped aside.

"Is that really what you're thinking?"

"Yes," Wolfram said, determination entered his tone. Tesca shrugged. To be truthful, he was lying. He had left the words that he knew it would haunt himself as well to Yuuri. Those words left his lips the second he panicked. He was uncomfortable being alone with Yuuri now. There was something he felt about Yuuri. Something was missing. And regarding Yuuri's fainting, it felt as if… he had experienced the same thing from somewhere before. He shook them off, clearing the fogs in his mind. He had made up his mind never to think about Yuuri anymore. Why bother now?

"I'll see you in the morning. Good night." Wolfram said, staring at the doorknob. Tesca, however did not budge from his place. Wolfram noticed the awkward silence that was taking too long and decided to check. His head lifted and looked up.

Tesca had moved closer to Wolfram's neck. The heat was building up in between their distance which was shortened to millimeters apart within seconds. Wolfram tried to suppress a gasp as his head reflexively jerked back a little. His breathing stopped almost immediately.

"Aren't you staying the night with me?" Tesca breathed into his neck. He smiled in satisfaction as he saw another rosy pink coloring his fiancé's face. Before the tingling sensation continued to spread, Wolfram tugged at Tesca, pushing him away a little.

"Goodnight." Wolfram repeated himself again, but his eyes not daring to look into Tesca's. Tesca smirked.

"Yes, yes, I got it. Goodnight, sweatie." He said as he stepped over the doorframe, though one step was all he took. Wolfram frowned at the word sweatie. Why does it make him sounded like a woman? He kept his mouth shut nevertheless.

"We can take it slowly; after all, you did accept this engagement." Tesca smiled.

Wolfram seemed stupefied for a while. He pulled a sulky face and looked anywhere but his fiancé's face.

"I know I did."

"Wolfram, this expression is so cute for you." Once again, Tesca smirked. Wolfram groaned and turned around, his back towards him. He could hear a soft chuckle behind.

"Night, Tesca."

"Won't you give me a goodnight kiss?"

"Save that for next time." Tesca laughed.

"I will take that as your promise?"

"N—o…" Wolfram couldn't finish his words when Tesca cut him across.

"Remember your words, Wolfram, well then, goodnight," Tesca voiced gleefully before closing the door.

Wolfram sighed.

"Sometimes, I wonder which side is the real you? The caring one or the pervert like this,"

Xxxx Yuuri xxxX

The sky was bright blue, the weather clear. A good omen, or is it? Somewhere in the sky, the black bird flew across, shouting 'bad omen'.

Standing in the study room was a wary looking Yuuri. His sockets were deep, and his onyx black eyes were bloodshot. It shocked Gunter the moment he saw him.

"Are you feeling well? Do you need to see Gisela?" Gunter stretched out his hands. Yuuri knew that he wanted to hug him. Having enough of those bone-crashing hugs, he ducked just in time to escape it.

"No, I just can't sleep well. Let's start with the lessons." Yuuri said as he plopped himself down upon the seat behind the study table. Gunter was too happy that the king was volunteering asking for his lessons for the first time. He forgot about the questions and immediately handed over the mentioned books for Yuuri. The lessons were carried out for a good two hours…

"Nice flowers." Yuuri mumbled as he watched the yellow flowers in the pictures. Gunter peeked over to have a look of it.

"It is. The name is Einlor. Presenting the flowers to the bride by the groom is a traditional wedding in Shin Makoku. They symbolized eternity for the couple. It is hard to find since it's a seasonal flower, so it is not a must for the wedding."

"Seasonal?" Yuuri observed the corolla and counted that it had eight of them attached to it. The branch of it felt so fragile to him that he thought it might just snap if he touched it.

"Winter, to be specified," Gunter answered as his gaze was tore off from his book.

"I like it…"

"Heika, you could present it to your bride when you found one, though it is still early for your wedding, but, if you're thinking of giving it to me, then I wouldn't deny…"

Yuuri gave out his laugh.

"Speaking of wedding, Wolfram and Tesca will be wed on next month." He said absent-mindedly. Yuuri felt the paper slipped off his hand to the ground. Gunter's eyes followed the paper before averting back to look at the king.

"Why is it next month?" Yuuri said in surprise.

"It's Wolfram's wish." His heart was sinking again into the deep sea.

"But isn't it too fast?" Yuuri protested.

"Heika, this is Wolfram's marriage… if that's what he wanted, then, we shouldn't interfere with his choice."

"I…"

'Yes, it is his marriage. I don't have the right to say anything. Wolfram, do you really love him?' He doubted whether if he would be able to find back his heart that has sank into nowhere.

Xxxx Yuuri xxxX

Yuuri could not concentrate on the study as visuals of Wolfram and Tesca together dressed as a newly-wedded couple disturbed him greatly. At last, he asked Gunter to call it a day. Deciding it would be a reward for Yuuri, he let him go nevertheless. Yuuri zombie walked out the room, not knowing where he wanted to go until he heard his daughter's voice.

"Yuuri!" She ran towards him.

"Greta, how are you today?" Yuuri smiled as he took her into his hand and hugged her.

"Great! I finished the knitting lesson with Anissina this morning, I did a cute Yuuri doll, it was unfinished, though," Yuuri smiled as he listened, something in her hand caught his eyes.

"What's that?"

"Ah, this, Cheri asked me to send this present to Wolfram, I think it's her congratulations for Wolfram's engagement. She said her boat will be departing in another half an hour, so she won't have time to go to see him. But she said that she'll be back for Wolfram's wedding. I agreed to deliver this gift, but then after I agree with it, I ran down the corridor and only then that I realized that I don't know where Wolfram's room is." Greta bombarded.

"Calm down, Greta." He paused for a moment before continued, "It's okay. I'll help you deliver this present,"

"Really?" A nod followed with a smile was his answer.

"I have something to talk to him too." Yuuri said as he lowered her down to the ground. She handed him the present. It was a small blue-colored box, wrapped in bright yellow ribbon. Just like Wolfram's blue uniform marching with his hair, Yuuri thought.

"Thanks Yuuri." She cheered. Yuuri took the present from her and set off. Why did he volunteer to deliver the present? He couldn't find the answer. He just wanted to see Wolfram at the moment. He really wished to see Wolfram smiling at him again.

Xxxx Wolf xxxX

"Wolfram, tell me you love me."

"Of course I do." Closing his wardrobe, Wolfram snapped back. Tesca was perched in his bed.

"You're avoiding my request. I want to hear from you personally that you love me."

"Is the marriage not enough to prove that I love you?" Wolfram said as he plunged himself down onto the bed beside Tesca.

Tesca threw back his head and roared with laughter, not noticing the glare that Wolfram gave.

"What if I say it's not?" He grimaced.

"You're greedy." Wolfram commented. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and turned his head away.

"I don't see anything wrong of being greedy. You belong to me now." Tesca grinned.

"Whatever." Wolfram muttered and uncrossed his arms. He wished by doing this, he could cover up the fact that Tesca was making his heart beating faster than usual.

"But you don't seem too happy about it. You don't love me," Wolfram stopped at his track.

"I do." He replied after a split second.

"I don't see any "love", my Wolfram."

"I…" Wolfram gritted his teeth. He liked Tesca, he really liked him, but something was seriously holding his feelings back. He was puzzled over it and couldn't figure out why.

"I do love you." Wolfram forced himself to say again, his eyes still not daring to meet the other prince's.

"That doesn't sound so sincere to me," Tesca shook his head in a mocking way that nearly peeved Wolfram.

"Then, how will you believe it?"

"How...you said?" Tesca voice dropped to a whisper. Startled, Wolfram turned his head. Tesca had stood up from his position.

"What do you…?" His voice trailed off feebly. He caught Tesca smiling with an uncomfortable look that sent shivering down to Wolfram's spine. Then, before he could figure out the meaning behind that smile, strong brutal force was exerted on his chest, pushing him backwards. It was only when his back hit the bed that he had realized what happened.

Tesca was leaning over him, wearing the same smirk that he had known too well for these past few days.

"Hey!" Wolfram protested. He raised his hands, with the intention to shove him off but his hands were seized in time by Tesca. He pinned those wrists of Wolfram back down to the bed. He could feel Wolfram twisting his hand, trying to free himself with all means.

"Didn't you say you love me?" He smirked as his face continued to lower itself. Wolfram was still not ceasing to struggle.

"Tesca, let go." The man did not. Pushing even further down into the mattress, he pressed his own body onto Wolfram's. Wolfram gasped at the sudden weight and tugged again to free himself. As if fearing that his prey would escape, Tesca tightened his grip. His allowed himself to enjoy the fruitless struggling of the blonde. His dark brown eyes swept over the blonde's emerald eyes. Wolfram stopped his tugging, startled. His heart was beating rapidly when Tesca inched in, nearly closing the gap between them.

"Prove it, Wolf. Prove your words to me." he whispered into Wolfram's ear.

The hot breathe made him shuddered. He twisted his head aside.

"Get off me, Tesca." Wolfram said, keeping his voice as calm as possible.

'We are not married yet. This is just not right.' Wolfram thought. His mind raced as he searched for ways to escape this.

His strength was out of question. He couldn't overpower Tesca's.

He could not use his fire to back Tesca off, what if he burnt his fiancé? It will cause unnecessary uproar in the castle. That would definitely be his last resort. 'My sword!' Wolfram frowned at his sword that was lying at the corner of the bed. His heart sank. It was out of reach. His eyes narrowed again.

What am I thinking? Did I want to murder my fiancé?

The best way shall be compromising with him in peace.

"I'm not letting you go," Emerald eyes widened. Tesca blew softly onto Wolfram's ear, causing Wolfram's leg to give another involuntary jerk. He smirked again and forced the blonde's powerless legs to split apart with his own.

"Tesca…" Wolfram gulped when he saw his fiancé's lips inched closer and closer to his. He was starting to feel weak. All strength was leaving his body. He could not bring up any energy to push him away. Why does this seemed familiar? Why am I always the one being taken?

'Most of all, why am I always so weak at a time like this?'

He shut his eyes tight.

'THUD!'

The sound startled them both at the same time. Wolfram let his eyelids lifted a little. Tesca was looking at the door with annoyance. Wolfram followed his gaze and felt his face burnt.

They had not even closed the door. It was left opened with a little gap.

He let out the breath that he was holding and looked back at Tesca again. It seemed that Tesca had lost his lusts at his prey. Wolfram was a little glad for the sudden distraction. His beating resumed to normal and he stole another look at the door.

'Who's it just now?' Wolfram was horrified when he thought he saw a black raven figure flashed through the gap. 'Am I imagining things?'

Apparently, he was not, because Tesca had pulled away from him, frowning even more. Wolfram pushed Tesca off and got up to his feet. Half-stumbling, half-running, he reached the door and peeked out.

There was no one on the corridor. The only thing left on the floor was a little deep blue box, decorated with the ribbon. Wolfram looked down the corridor again, but only silence answered him.

Now…

When I finally am able to understand them,

When I finally am able to love you,

Why,

Why won't you give me another chance

To prove my heart to you?

Xxxx Yuuri xxxX

A/N

Chapter 14… The Forgotten Memory…

While Wolfram was living his best with Yuuri, he couldn't help but feel that same love for the wimp. Of course, that is because it is the same Yuuri that he loved… from all aspects with the exceptions of the memories inside that Yuuri. Though, there is one thing that the blonde didn't know while saddening over the lacked of their memories in Yuuri's… Some memories of his had long been forgotten...